Revenge
by maigonokaze
Summary: Harris is out of prison on parole and wants revenge on the one person he considers responsible for his downfall: Detective Olivia Benson. CAUTION: will contain scenes of graphic rape and violence. You have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything related to the Law and Order Franchise or L&O:SVU. They belong to Dick Wolf and I stand to make no monetary or other gain from writing this story.

* * *

_Friday Night  
_

It was late when Olivia left the nearly empty subway to walk the remaining two blocks to her apartment. The night air was crisp, cool and still as she walked through the concrete and glass canyon of the New York street. She stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets as the brisk wind wrapped around her. She'd had a long week and had crossed into overtime early this morning. Cragen told her to go at around six, but she had clocked out and stayed to work on paperwork until almost ten. When she finally left, Cragen reminded her to take the weekend off. The department couldn't afford to keep paying out overtime to all the SVU detectives.

As she walked past a fire escape alley about half a block from her building, she heard a scuffle. Just as she crossed in front of the mouth of the alley, a female voice called out, "Please! Somebody help me! Help!"

Olivia's right hand darted down and slipped the holster strap off of her glock. She drew her police radio off her belt and held the transmit button with her thumb. "This is Detective Olivia Benson; I have a possible assault in progress in an alley off Clarkson and Greenwich. Request back-up."

She heard another scream as she ducked off of the main road and headed toward the sound. Olivia drew her gun and held it point-down as she moved into the alley. There was a dumpster on the right about seventy-five feet into the alley and she could now make out at least two distinct male voices.

"Just shut her up already; someone will hear."

"Damn bitch already bit me; why the fuck don't you try holding her?"

"Please…" There was a soft whimper as the female voice spoke again. "Please, just let me go… I swear I won't say anything."

"Shut up."

Olivia was closing in on the dumpster. Her eyes scanned the area, but there didn't appear to be anyone else in the vicinity. She darted around, finally laying eyes on the scene. A young woman in her mid-twenties was pinned against the wall by two men in black ski masks. Her skirt was pushed up, her shirt un-tucked and her hair disheveled. One of the men had one hand on her throat and the other up her shirt. The second man was standing slightly to her left and was working to loosen his belt buckle.

"Freeze, NYPD." Olivia's voice was steady and clear as she alerted them to her presence. Both men spun around, their interest in the young woman they had been tormenting apparently forgotten. Without their hands and bodies holding her up against the wall, the woman sank down into a crouch against the wall, her whole body trembling. "Step away from her, put your hands on your head."

Both men complied. Olivia was unnerved to see them smiling underneath the masks as they both dropped to their knees. Light filled the alley as a vehicle pulled in right behind Olivia. She turned her head slightly, her gun still trained on the two men on the ground. There was something wrong. The van that had pulled in, blocking her exit from the alley, was not the white and blue standard NYPD issue. There were no flashing lights on the roof and no sirens. There were no uniformed cops stepping out to help her.

The van was dark grey and had no windows in the back or on the sides. Three men stepped out, all wearing ski masks and carrying handguns. Olivia moved quickly, shifting so that she was standing over the woman huddled on the ground. The two original assailants each pulled out a gun from an ankle holster as they got to their feet. They approached her from the right as the three from the van were walking toward her from the left.

Olivia's gun wavered from person to person as the men closed in around her. The man who had gotten out of the driver's seat laughed. "Put your gun down."

Olivia trained her gun on him; as she did so, five other guns came up to point directly at her.

"Not a good idea. Drop your weapon and nobody gets hurt."

_I seriously doubt that_, Olivia thought. She slowly lowered her gun and held it loosely at her side, her trigger finger laying flat along the barrel.

"Put it on the ground and kick it over here."

Olivia raised her left hand, her palm outward in an open gesture. "Let's talk about this."

"Nothing to talk about. Drop your gun."

Olivia looked him straight in the eyes. Thus far, he was the only one who had said anything and she assumed him to be the leader. "Listen, whatever you want, I`m sure we can work something out." Her left hand lowered slightly and she slipped her purse off her shoulder. She threw it on the ground at his feet. "There's cash and credit cards in there. Just take it and go." Even as she spoke, she knew it wasn't going to do any good. _This is way too much overkill to be accidental. Five men, five guns, the van at the ready…_

The leader smirked and stepped forward. He was directly in front of her, only a foot away. Olivia had to tilt her head upward to look him in the face. Her gun was still in her hand, but she knew that the men surrounding her would open fire if she so much as started to bring it up. The woman behind her was still curled in a ball crouched on the ground. Her breath hitched as she rocked back and forth. Olivia guessed that the combination of her earlier attack and the present fear of being surrounded and out-gunned was sending her into shock.

"I don't think that will work, Olivia. You see, what we came for… is you."

"_Olivia"? Shit, shit, shit… _"Then there's no reason for her to be here." She nodded toward the woman huddled behind her. "Why don't you let her go and we can talk."

He shook his head. "Not interested in talking. How about you put your gun down and she can leave?"

Olivia hesitated. Her hand reflexively tightened around the handle of her gun and one of the men on her right fired. Olivia groaned and tripped backward as the bullet burned through the flesh of her upper arm. She brought her gun up to fire; blood was leaking from her arm and stained her shirt down to the elbow in a matter of seconds. She got off two shots and the man who had fired on her dropped to the ground with two holes in his chest.

Someone stepped in from the left and the butt of a gun descended on the back of Olivia's head. She stumbled and turned to fire again, but a second blow caught her and she fell to her hands and knees. Her vision was dazed and the world seemed to slow as a boot kicked out and swept her gun out of her hand.

Olivia staggered to her feet and reached out one hand to brace herself against the alley wall. Several hands reached out to restrain her, but Olivia shook them off. She scrambled away and shook her head to try to clear her vision. When her sight cleared, she saw one of the men hauling the woman up to her feet. One fist was tangled in her hair and the other held a gun up under her chin. The woman's blue eyes were wide and terrified; her hands balled into fists at her sides, but she was too scared to move.

"Where are you going, Olivia?" The leader mocked her as he stepped forward.

Olivia's eyes focused on him as her surroundings started to spin again. Her head was throbbing and her arm burned as though it were dipped in liquid fire. "Let her go." Despite her physical pain, her voice was steady and resolute.

He chuckled. Two of the men grabbed Olivia from behind while she was distracted by the brief exchange. They pushed her to the ground. One of them grabbed the cuffs out of the back of her belt and trapped her hands behind her. Olivia started to yell, but the second man looped his beefy forearm around her neck and trapped her in a headlock. She writhed on the ground, trying futilely to shake him off.

Black spots started to dance in front of her. The man hauled her up to her knees; his body pressed against her back as he continued to cut off her air.

Just before Olivia passed out, she saw the woman being forced to her knees. Her brown eyes met with the deep blue ones as one of the men put a gun to the back of the woman's head. The last thing Olivia saw was the unknown woman's brains smattering across the wall. Then the world stopped spinning and faded into black.

* * *

The leader watched as two of his remaining three men lifted Olivia's limp body and carried her over to the van. The third opened the door; they shoved her unceremoniously inside and tossed her purse in after her. The leader picked up Olivia's gun and turned it idly in his hands. All of his men had tucked their guns away in their belts or holsters after they had finally restrained Olivia. Once the van doors were closed, the leader lifted the detective's gun and shot all three of his men in rapid succession. They never even had the chance to turn around and face him.

He tucked Olivia's gun away, walked around to the front of the van and climbed into the driver's seat. "We all set?"

There was another man in the back of the van. He had stayed hidden throughout the whole affair. Once Olivia was in the van, he balled up a scrap of cloth and shoved it in her mouth before securing it in place with a strip of duct tape. As he finished gagging her, he looked up at the driver. "Yeah, we're good to go, Mark."

Mark backed the van out of the alley and onto the main road. Once on the road, he glanced back. "You're taking a big risk with this one, you know. The boss won't be happy if he doesn't make the money he expects and you'll be the one stuck with the debt."

"I know." He tore another piece of cloth and wrapped it around her arm. The bullet had only grazed the flesh and the bleeding had mostly stopped already, but he still tied the make-shift bandage over the wound. Several locks of hair had fallen across Olivia's face; she stirred slightly, starting to come back to consciousness. "You saw her. Trust me; your boss will get all he wants out of her and more."

"You'd better hope so. Otherwise it'll be your ass on the line and that is not where you want to be."

"I have no intention of getting on his bad side."

"Good. You remember your terms then?"

"I'll have her delivered to your people next Friday."

"In good condition – that scrape on her arm will still be there, I`m sure, but we don't want her otherwise… damaged."

"Won't be a problem."

"Good. Where do you want to take her? We can provide a secure place at one of the playhouses for a reasonable fee."

"No, I have a place set up. Just drop me off and she's not your concern until Friday."

Mark shrugged. "Tell me where to go."

"Toward Queens."

* * *

Olivia woke up in the back of a van. She kept her eyes closed as she slowly came to consciousness. Stiff cotton filled her mouth and absorbed her whimper as the vehicle shifted lanes too fast and threw her head against the side of the van.

She could hear traffic and the roads beneath the van were smooth, but there was nothing to give her a clue as to her location or how long she had been in the car. By the sound of the traffic, she could guess that they were still somewhere in the general vicinity of the city.

She had heard voices just before becoming fully aware, but the conversation seemed to have stopped. The van changed lanes again and Olivia groaned when her already-sore head reconnected with the metal siding.

Mark twisted in his seat to glance back. "Think she's awake."

The man in the back said nothing.

Olivia finally opened her eyes; she scanned the van and tried to tilt her head upward enough to see out the windshield and get a fix on the outside surroundings. She could only see two other people in the van. Besides the driver, there was one man in the back of the van, crouched behind the passenger seat. His face and body were cast in shadows; all she could see was the barest outline.

"I've got some chloroform up here if you need to knock her out again." Mark passed something to the man in the back. He took it and poured some onto a hand-towel, but made no move toward Olivia.

The sounds of traffic were slowly fading and the van was making more stops. Olivia guessed that they were getting closer to their destination, wherever that might be. The van slowed to a near stop and took a sharp turn. A stream of light poured in through the window and illuminated the inside of the van for the briefest instant, allowing her to see the second man's face.

Olivia screamed into the gag and threw herself violently at the side of the van. Her arms were tied, but she used her legs to beat against the back door. She kicked at the latch, but the inside door handle had been removed. The man from behind the passenger seat pounced on her. He sat on her legs, pinning them down against the floor. She twisted her upper body and tried to squirm away. He lowered himself until his chest crushed down against hers. Olivia shook her head, unable to move anything else. One of his hands grabbed her jaw and held her still while the other brought the chloroform cloth up to cover her mouth and nose.

Olivia held her breath, refusing to inhale the sickly-sweet chemical. The man above her waited patiently until her burning lungs forced her to gasp in. Olivia's eyes smoldered with hatred and fear as she looked up into the face of Lowell Harris. The chloroform seared into her lungs and, within a few shuddering breaths, she was passed out again.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Alright, this story will not be updated nearly as frequently as my previous one. _In My Enemy's Hands_ was mostly written before I started posting at all. This time I`m posting as I write. So I`m going to have to ask you to be patient with me, since it might be a couple days between new chapters, depending on how much my bosses want me to work.

**Reviews are wonderful - if you like it, leave a comment; if you don't like it, leave a comment.**


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Olivia noticed as she woke up was the cold. The summer heat always faded quickly after the sun went down; in a city, like a desert, the temperature had a habit of plummeting the moment the sun dipped out of view. She sat up and tried to get her bearings. Her hands were cuffed in front of her now and she was sitting on a bare mattress that rested on the ground. The space she was in was nearly completely dark; a tiny sliver of dim light peaked through underneath one of the walls.

She stood and started to walk toward the door, but something pulled her back. Olivia twisted her hands around in the cuffs, trying to find whatever was preventing her from moving. Her scrambling fingertips found a cord that was locked around the center of her handcuffs. Olivia moved as close to the light source as she could and then stood in the dark waiting for her eyes to adjust.

It could have been five minutes or an hour, but eventually Olivia started to be able to make out her surroundings. She was in a small room, maybe 8x10 feet. The light was coming in through a crack under one of the narrower walls. Olivia guessed that she was in some sort of storage facility. The room was about the right size for it and a garage-door type entrance would explain the light. The inside of the room was almost completely bare. There was the mattress she had been sitting on when she woke up and a carton of water bottles. Apart from that, the room was empty.

Olivia reached toward the water bottles. Her throat was dry and felt like it would crack into a million pieces if she so much as whispered. She pulled out one of the bottles and ran her hand over it. If a needle had been injected through the plastic, there would have been some sort of noticeable distortion where the hole was sealed. There was nothing. She checked the cap; the seal was unbroken. Olivia drank deeply, grateful for even lukewarm water.

Once she had drained the water bottle, Olivia cleared her throat. Her voice was raspy from the effects of the chloroform and would be for a few hours, but that didn't impede her volume at all. She only wished that the cord allowed her enough room to bang on the metal door at the entrance; that sound would carry better than anything else. She took in a deep breath. "Help!" Her voice echoed back at her off the concrete walls. "Help, somebody help me!"

* * *

Homicide was called to the scene in the alley early the next morning. Their ME packed up the bodies of the four men in ski masks and the Jane Doe. CSU combed the area and collected samples to take back to the lab and examine. DNA tests require several days to run, but by mid-afternoon CSU had been able to get started on ballistics and fingerprints while they waited for DNA results.

IAB showed up at the one-six just as most people were packing up to go home for the day. Cragen saw when Tucker entered and went over to meet him. "Sergeant Tucker, what brings you over to our neck of the woods?"

"Is Detective Benson here today?"

"No, today and tomorrow are her days off. Can I ask what this is about?"

"We'd like to ask her some questions regarding a homicide that took place near her place of residence."

"Why? Is she a suspect? If she were a witness to something, it would be Homicide here asking questions, not IAB."

"Captain, is there somewhere a little quieter where we can speak?"

Cragen looked around and realized that most of the people in the room, while not close enough to hear everything, were obviously straining to listen. "Of course. My office is just over here."

As soon as the door was closed, Cragen turned back to Tucker. "What's this about?"

"Five bodies were discovered in an alley between Benson's house and the nearest subway station. One was a woman whom we still haven't identified. The other four were a couple of ex-cons, mostly burglary and assault – nothing that would have brought them through your precinct. The four men were armed and the woman appears to have been shot by one of their guns. The four men, however, were all shot at almost point-blank range with bullets CSU matched to Detective Benson's registered service weapon. CSU also found her prints on the scene."

"So you think that…" Cragen already knew what Tucker was getting at, but he needed to hear him say it.

"Is it possible that, if Detective Benson walked in on something happening, she might have taken matters into her own hands? Passed out a little vigilante justice?"

"Not Olivia. If she had found something, she would have called it in."

"Then why are there four men in a morgue with her bullets in them?"

Cragen shook his head. "You'd have to ask her."

"We will, once we find her."

"What do you mean?" Cragen snapped.

"I went by her apartment after ballistics tied her to the scene. Nobody there. I figured that she'd be in here since she usually is, even on her days off."

"So you're saying my detective is missing and you are more interested in accusing her of murder than in finding out what happened to her?"

"If she did go on a vigilante streak, it's entirely possible that she might have tried to run."

"And if she's the victim here? It wouldn't be the first time you guys at IAB have falsely accused her."

"Look, nobody is making any accusations yet. We just want to find her and talk to her. We want to keep this quiet until we know for sure what happened. For now, Homicide is spreading her picture around to the other precincts as a missing material witness. And if anyone on your squad hears from her, we expect you to contact us or Homicide immediately."

After Tucker left, Cragen stepped out of his office. "Fin, Munch, Stabler!" The three other detectives had been watching and listening when Tucker first came in and had hung around waiting to hear what was going on. They gathered around Cragen.

The captain took a deep breath before speaking. "Olivia's in trouble. Five people were murdered near her apartment – one woman was killed and then four men were shot with Olivia's gun. IAB is looking for her, but nobody's seen her since she left the station last night. Now you know and I know that Olivia wouldn't do something like this and she _definitely_ wouldn't just disappear. Find her."

* * *

Olivia had no reference for time. She slept for a while, but woke when her arm started throbbing. The room was still dark, but the light that slipped under the door was just enough to allow her to see. It seemed brighter than when she had gone to sleep – brighter and less artificial. She stood and moved as close to the door as possible. "Help! Please, can anybody hear me? Help!"

She yelled as loudly as possible for about twenty minutes before she heard something. She had paused to draw in breath and heard metal scraping against metal as the bolt on the other side was released. The door of the storage unit slid upward and a single man stood in the doorway.

Olivia looked beyond him, but all she could see were other storage units. They were not marked with any name – all of them had the same white garage doors with fading black numbers painted on them and the walls that separated them were a dulled peach color.

The man stepped inside the room and flipped a light switch on the wall just next to the door. A bright florescent light bathed the room as he pulled down on the door and let it thud into place. He took a step toward Olivia and she unconsciously took a step back. She realized what she had done and immediately stopped. She held her chin up and straightened her back and shoulders, unwilling to show fear. She looked the man in the face and memorized his appearance, storing it to be able to identify him in the future. _Black, mid-thirties, brown eyes, bald, crooked nose, clean shaven… Dark jeans, grey wife-beater, knife scar on the left shoulder, tribal tattoo on the upper right arm…_

"Who are you?" Olivia knew before she asked that she probably wouldn't get an answer.

"Shut up. You don't get to ask the questions around here." His voice was gruff but did not have any anger behind the words. He walked toward Olivia and stood just in front of her. He was too close; his body towered over hers. _Six foot three or four, two-hundred thirty-odd pounds, muscular…_ Olivia swallowed as she realized just how vulnerable she was. Fear was collecting in the pit of her stomach, but she refused to give any outward indication of just how terrified she actually was at that instant.

"You know that the cops will be coming for you. I called before I went into the alley – they would've only been five minutes behind you, tops."

The man gave a short bark of a laugh. "No… no, they weren't." Olivia stared at him. "All it takes is a quick trip to Radio Shack and about fifty bucks and anyone can block out short wave transmissions – including police radios. They never even got your call."

"You're lying."

"Nope. Far as I know, nobody even knows you're missing yet."

Olivia's lips parted but she couldn't even think to articulate anything.

"But, speaking of last night… Sit down. Let me check out that arm of yours."

She wanted to protest, but she knew that her arm probably did need to be re-bandaged. She looked down at her handcuffed hands and the cord connected to them. "Okay," she whispered.

The man pushed her ahead of him toward the bed. Olivia felt a blind panic start to rise within her but she pushed it back. They got to the bed at the back of the room. Olivia felt his hand on her back, prodding her forward. She knew he could feel her shaking. "Sit," he ordered. She was frozen in place. "Just fucking sit. I`m not going to hurt you," he said, exasperated. He grabbed her uninjured arm and spun her around before pushing her down. He sat on the bed next to her and undid the makeshift bandage Harris had put on the night before. He carefully ripped her sleeve, expanding the hole created when the bullet grazed her. He kept tearing until he deemed the opening large enough to be able to work properly.

There was dried blood caked around the wound, but it looked as though it hadn't oozed anything fresh in a while. The man picked up one of the water bottles and poured it over her arm. Olivia hissed as the fluid crashed down on the exposed flesh. He looked up at her face. "You okay?"

She nodded as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a ziplock back. He removed a few small, sealed paper packages. He ripped open the first one and dabbed around and over the wound to clean it. A line of three butterfly sutures pulled the edges of skin in to minimize the scarring area. Finally he held a piece of clean gauze over the area and taped it in place.

"Why are you doing this?" Olivia ignored his directive not to ask questions. It was always better to get the suspect talking and keep them talking.

He didn't respond.

"What do you have to do with Harris?"

He looked sideways at her. "Harris is scum. He's nothing to me but a means to an end."

"What end?" Olivia pried.

"It doesn't matter." He stood. "You want some painkillers for that arm?" He pulled a couple of small orange pills that looked like Motrin out of the ziplock.

Olivia shook her head. "No." There was no way she was going to willingly take any sort of drug they gave her, no matter how harmless it looked.

"Alright." He shuffled toward the door. "Listen, Harris will be pissed if you keep screaming like you were. You'd do better to keep your mouth shut, else I`m going to have to drug you, got it?"

Olivia stood and followed him toward the exit. "If Harris is nothing to you, why does he have you doing his dirty work?"

He whirled around and lunged toward her, knocking her back into one of the side walls. His left hand gripped the base of her neck; his right seized a fistful of her hair and dragged her head back so that she was forced to look up at him. Her handcuffed hands reached up and clawed to get his hand away from her throat. She drew blood, but he did not flinch. He leaned in close, his voice a deadly whisper. "Harris may be nothing, but so are you. I will do whatever it takes to get what I want and don't you forget that, bitch."

Olivia was more terrified by the calm of his voice than anything else. She was too stunned to react as he released her and backed away. He walked directly toward the door without glancing back at her. He lifted up the door and ducked underneath before it slammed back into place.

* * *

The man had left the light on and Olivia spent the next several hours examining in detail every aspect of her prison. At first, she told herself that she was doing it so that she would be able to relay the details later on. But after she got to the point of memorizing the cracks and stains on the ancient walls and ceilings, she knew that wasn't it. She was bored – abducted, trapped, terrified… and bored.

_Great. First a nice chat with my kidnapper while he cleans up my cuts and then I`m sitting here bored. I need to get out of here _now_. _

She rose to her feet again. The cord that prevented her from reaching the door was a metal wire with a white plastic coating. At each end, the cord was bent over itself and secured in a loop. The links of her handcuffs passed through one end of the loop and the other was padlocked to an eyebolt in the wall just over the bed. Olivia had tried turning the bolts that secured the metal ring to the wall, but to no avail. She tried again, trying to turn them until her fingertips bled from the effort, but there was no way to remove the bolts without a proper wrench.

She waited. She sat. She stood. She thought of half a dozen ways to fight off anyone who came through the door. She thought of Elliot and Cragen and Munch and Fin and how they would be looking for her. She paced. And she waited.

The afternoon heat was oppressive and the lack of ventilation in the storage room made it worse. Olivia's clothes clung to her skin as sweat poured down her and soaked through the fabric. Her hair stuck to her face and the back of her neck; she wished that she had never decided to grow it out.

She lay down on the concrete floor and pressed her face down against the cool surface. It might not have been very comfortable, but it was the best relief from the heat she could find. She lay there, listless under the heat, until she finally dozed off.

She woke to the sound of the door being slid open. She rose to her feet and backed up as Harris stepped in. Her heart was pounding as she backed up, wishing that she could sink through the walls and escape from it all.

Harris stalked toward her, his walk predatory. "So… Olivia. Or it is Kat? I heard Jay came to check up on you earlier. Sorry that I haven't been by to see you yet."

Olivia tried to force herself to remember that she was no longer a prisoner at the mercy of her C.O. _No, just a kidnap victim stuck with her abductor. _"When did you get out of Rikers?"

A corner of Harris' mouth twitched upward. "Didn't you hear? I only got about five to seven… and when all my friendly C.O. buddies verified my impeccable behavior, I got early parole at two and a half. _Tsk tsk…_ Prisons are overcrowded these days; they need the room." He was closing in on her; Olivia was backed all the way into the far corner. "I've been out almost a month. A month that I`ve spent thinking about you, just like I have every day for the past two years."

"Really? See, I'd heard it that you preferred men anyways. What, you didn't like being the bitch on the block? Couldn't take catching when you'd rather pitch?" Olivia knew that it was stupid to bait him, but years of anger were welling up inside her and she was almost shaking with it. "Suddenly you weren't the one in control and forcing others. Instead they got to push you around. That had to hurt, didn't it? All those prisoners you once would have guarded – you would have been able to abuse them… and they were abusing you."

"Shut up!" Harris rushed at her, but Olivia danced to the side, allowing his momentum to work in her favor. She grabbed the back of his shirt and pushed him face forward into the wall. Harris brought both his hands up, laid them flat against the wall and pushed backward. Olivia stepped around him as he stumbled backward. She took the cord that encircled her handcuffs and looped it around him. It fell too far, tightening around his upper arms and shoulders rather than his neck.

Harris yanked his body backward. The movement jerked Olivia forward and, for an instant, there was slack in the line. Harris slipped one arm out above the cord; it was now looped at an angle, crossing over his right arm and down around his ribcage on the left side. His fist struck out, connecting solidly with Olivia's face.

He grabbed the handcuffs, effectively immobilizing her arms as he ducked out from inside the cord. He spun her around, pinning her body back against his own. Olivia started to scream. She kicked out; her legs flailed against thin air, occasionally striking contact with one of the walls. He pushed her up against a wall and ground his body against hers.

Olivia's mind flashed back to that day at Sealview. She was overpowered by both the current attack and the vivid recollection of the past one. Her hair fell across her face as she tried to twist her body free. "Help! Help!"

Her hands were trapped against her by his thick arms encircling her waist. He nuzzled his face against her neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and fear. "We're going to pick up right where we left off. And this time, nobody is coming to help you." He pulled one of his arms free; his other still wrapped her arms and waist and pulled her against him. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out that same chloroform rag, freshly soaked since the night before. He pinched it over her face; Olivia continued struggling and shaking until she slipped into unconsciousness.

Harris laid her down on the bed. He drew out the key for her handcuffs and freed her arms. She was like a limp doll, completely defenseless and unaware. He smiled and bent over her. His fingers sought out the top button to her shirt. He was fumbling with excitement, but eventually managed to undo it. He moved on to the next one.

Harris stripped her bare and re-cuffed her hands behind her back. He gathered all of her clothing and walked toward the door. He slid it upward and let himself out.

* * *

**Reviews are wonderful - If you liked it, leave a comment. If you didn't like it, leave a comment. **


	3. Chapter 3

The detective groaned as she slowly came back to consciousness. She was laying face-down on the mattress with her hands cuffed behind her. The lights were off. The cord that had connected her to the back wall was gone. Olivia turned to roll over on her side; she froze as soon as she began to move. _I`m naked. _Her handcuffed hands rested on the bare skin on her lower back, and the rough fabric of the mattress rubbed her breasts as she shifted her weight. She squeezed her thighs together. There was no soreness, no moisture… As the tears started to flow, there was at least a brief sigh of relief. She hadn't been raped. As Olivia sat naked on the old mattress, cuffed and locked away in a storage unit, she tried desperately to ignore the small voice in her head that amended her previous thought: _I haven't been raped… yet. _

* * *

_Saturday Night_

It was late at night before they came. Olivia was curled up in the corner, laying on the bed in the fetal position and shivering when she heard the lock slide free. She got to her feet and stumbled over to the door. She tucked herself back into the shadows as she waited for the door to open. Her whole body was shaking with a mixture of fear, cold, and adrenaline.

When the storage room door slid upwards, Harris was standing on the side nearest to Olivia. She didn't even look to see which one of them she hit – as soon as the door was up, she kneed the closest pair of balls and took off running.

Olivia got a good strike in. Harris never even saw her standing next to the door. One minute he was opening up the door and the next he was clutching himself, gasping for breath. "Get her!" he screamed at Jay. The black man chased after her. He was a naturally fast runner and a barefoot woman with her hands tied behind her back had no chance of escape.

She knew that her pursuer was closing in on her, but still Olivia pushed herself to keep going. The lack of balance caused by her hands being locked behind her was disconcerting and she had to lean forward. When Jay caught up to her, he didn't bother to stop or grab her to pull her back. He slammed against her and Olivia crashed to the ground, falling on her left side with a yelp. Her body skid along the rough asphalt. Jay reached down and grabbed her by the hair, pulling her up to her feet. Olivia screamed as loudly as she could.

"Shut up. There's no one around to hear you anyway," Jay muttered. He released her hair and instead clutched her upper left arm. His fingers dug in to the fresh abrasions. He shoved her forward, back toward the one open storage locker. Its ominous mouth gaped open, a lone dark hole against the rows of closed, white doors.

He dragged her in and threw her against the wall. Olivia's head collided with the surface and she felt a trickle of moisture flow down her forehead and along her eyebrow. Jay stood behind her, his body pressed against hers as Harris lowered the door and turned on the light.

Olivia squeezed her eyes closed as she felt the two men change positions. Rough hands – she didn't know who's – held her against the wall as the solid wall of muscle behind her disappeared. He was replaced by another body. Olivia shrank away, wishing she could disappear into the wall. Harris had stripped of his shirt and his chest was cool and clammy against her skin. His belt buckle pressed into the small of her back and the rough denim of his pants bulged against her. She kept screaming.

Harris's feet were in between hers. He kicked her legs out, widening her stance.

Olivia bucked and writhed, trying to get away from him, but he leaned in and used the full length of his body to pin her. Once he had pushed her legs apart, Harris brought one of his knees up in a quick and violent strike. Olivia cried out in pain. She tried to bring her legs together, but as soon as Harris had kicked her he had dropped his leg down to its original position, holding her legs apart.

Olivia whimpered and rested her face flat against the wall as she tried to regain her breath. Then Harris struck again, driving his knee up into her core. The force of the second impact reverberated through her pelvis and up her spine. He stepped away and watched her.

She wanted to sink to the ground, to curl up in a ball and cry, to forget the pain and where she was and how helpless she was. But she couldn't. She stayed leaning against the wall, willing her shaking legs not to collapse beneath her. She gulped in a few deep breaths of air and turned around. Harris had his arms crossed over his chest and was standing only about two feet away from her. Jay was leaning casually against the storage room door. His face was expressionless and his eyes met hers, deep chocolate pools that showed nothing – neither lust nor pity.

Harris's eyes raked over her body. Olivia mentally squirmed under his gaze, wishing she had a way to cover herself. Harris turned to look at Jay. "Uncuff her," he ordered.

Jay walked over to her and pulled her away from the wall. He shoved her toward Harris, who caught her and held her by her upper arms. Olivia cried out as his hand closed over the bullet wound.

"Hey!" Jay interjected. "C'mon man, go easy on her there. I don't want to have to patch her up again."

Harris grinned and shifted his grip to hold her by the shoulders. He pulled her body close against his and her breasts brushed against his skin. Olivia pulled back, but there was nowhere to go.

Jay was behind her. He never let go of her hands as he unlocked the cuffs. After both hands were freed, he encircled both of her wrists with one large hand as he tucked the handcuffs into his pocket. Then he separated her hands and brought them down to her sides and slightly back so that she was pulled flush against him, her hands balled into fists along his thighs.

Harris let go of Olivia's shoulders and trailed his hands across her skin. His right hand traced its way up to rest curled around her neck. His left hand skimmed lower, over her clavicle and down between the valley of her breasts. Every muscle in Olivia's body was taut and rigid as he progressed lower. He ran his knuckles over her abdomen and hips.

His fingers finally reached their goal, pushing in between her legs. Olivia squeezed her thighs together. She could feel bruises already forming where he had kicked her and his fingers poked cruelly at the tender flesh. She gasped and Harris removed his hand and rocked back on his heels, reveling in the expression of pain that flashed across her face.

As he stepped back, Olivia took her chance. She pushed all her strength into a single kick, aimed straight up between his legs. Harris groaned and fell back, stumbling into the wall. He was doubled over but when he looked up, Olivia saw nothing but raw fury in his eyes.

Harris rose and swung at her. Olivia tried to raise her hands, but Jay still had an iron grip around her wrists. The first blow caught her full in the face. Her head rocked back into Jay's shoulder. The second strike was an underhand punch to her side, just under the ribcage. All the air was pushed out of Olivia's lungs as her diaphragm started to spasm. A third hit went to the side of her face, connecting at the ridge of bone beside her left eye. Jay released her hands and stepped away from her. Olivia crumpled to the ground, catching herself on her hands and knees. Harris kicked her in the stomach and she fell to the side. He kicked her twice more as Olivia brought her arms up to shield her head and face.

He paused and Olivia rolled away until she met the wall. She braced herself against it as she moved to stand. The moment she was on her feet and turned back to face him, Harris clocked her in the jaw and she spun into the wall. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, then went to slam it against the wall. Olivia placed her hands at shoulder level and shoved, pushing herself away just in time to avoid him bashing her head into the wall. He punched her again, a direct shot to her kidney.

Olivia tried to get away, but her movements were becoming sluggish and her reactions were slowed. Blood was dripping down into her eye and making it hard for her to see clearly.

"Harris! Harris, that's enough!" Olivia heard Jay's voice through a fog. Harris released his grip on her and she fell to the ground. She heard the door open and felt the gush of fresh air. "Just go. Don't worry, I`ll take care of it." The door slid back into place. Olivia rolled to her side so she could look up. Harris was gone.

Jay walked toward her and crouched beside her. He pulled his shirt up over his head and Olivia flinched and started to scramble away. "Relax, relax," his voice was calm and intended to soothe. "You've been hurt enough for one night." He poured some water onto a corner of the shirt and reached forward to dab the blood away from her eyes. Olivia turned her face away. Jay didn't say anything, but handed her the shirt. She reached up and wiped it across the cut on her forehead. The blood smeared sideways toward her hairline, but at least was not in her eyes anymore. She touched the damp shirt to her lip and, when she pulled it away, she held the shirt in both hands and stared at the blood – _her blood_ – that marred the fabric.

Jay stood. "Put the shirt on," he said. Olivia didn't respond. She didn't want to wear his clothing. "It will keep you covered and a little warmer than you are now. I have to go out and get some stuff and it might be a while before I get back." Olivia slipped the wife-beater over her head and stood. It took an unspeakable amount of energy just to hold herself upright.

"I have to cuff you until I get back." The inflection in Jay's voice almost made it sound as though he were asking her permission. He reached for one of her hands. He held it for a moment and ran his thumb across the back of her knuckles while he clicked the metal bracelet in place. Then he secured her other hand. He guided her over to the mattress and helped her sit. "Why the hell did you do it? You knew it would set him off."

Olivia gave a small, wry smile; the cut on her lip pulled open again. "I kicked him once and he got me twice. I just wanted to make it even."

Jay stared at her, disbelief plastered on his face. "This is 'even'? You're a bloody mess."

She shook her head. "I won't let him take me down without a fight."

Jay sighed. He didn't know how to respond to this woman. So he turned and walked out.

* * *

It was almost two in the morning before he got back. Jay had driven around for a while before he found open stores that had what he needed. He parked Harris' car next to the employee entrance and called on the cell to have Harris open the door for him.

Olivia's exhaustion was apparent in that she didn't stir when he opened the door and entered the storage unit. Jay had taken his purchases out of the store bags and placed them in a non-descript black garbage bag, which he set on the floor just inside the door. He sat on the mattress next to her and gently shook her by one shoulder. She groaned and opened her eyes to squint up at him.

"Get up," he commanded. "Now."

Olivia staggered to her feet. Jay led her over to the door, undid her handcuffs, and held her tightly by one arm as he slid the door up. He took her outside. Olivia scanned around, but couldn't see anything. There were street lights along the corridor between storage units, so it was hard to see the sky, but Olivia didn't think there were any tall buildings or skyscrapers around. If they were still near the city, they had to be way on the outskirts of one of the boroughs. Jay took her to a small recess in between units. There was a hose connected to a spigot in the wall.

"Take off the shirt," he said as he pushed her ahead of him into the small alcove. Olivia made no move to comply. Jay picked up the water hose and turned it on. The water started to flow out onto the pavement at their feet. "We need to wash the gravel out of the cuts from where you fell earlier. This is more effective than wasting your drinking water."

"Are you crazy?" Olivia hissed. "It's freezing out here."

Jay's gaze hardened. "Don't argue with me. Just do as I say."

Olivia hesitated, but his expression brooked no room for argument. She turned away in an attempt for privacy as she drew the shirt up. He took it from her and directed the water flow against her back. Olivia gasped.

"Turn around. And if you need to go to the bathroom, now would be the time to do it."

She turned to face him and closed her eyes. A warm gush spilled down her legs as she let her bladder go. After Jay had washed out the cuts along her torso and arms, he directed the stream down her waist and legs to wash away the traces of urine. He turned the water off. Olivia opened her eyes and reached for the shirt that was draped over his shoulder. "No." He caught her wrist and stopped the motion. "You have to dry off before clothes." He let go and Olivia crossed her arms over her chest. He gestured for her to step out of the recess and, as she did so, the wind bit into her bare skin.

Jay hurried her back to the storage unit and let her inside. He pulled two thick towels out from the bag and handed them to her. Olivia wrapped one around her torso and used the other to dry off her extremities. Next Jay handed her several pill bottles and ointment tubes. Olivia looked at them. He had gotten pain killers, antibiotic creams, Vitamin-E capsules, muscle relaxants, gauze, medical tape and band-aids.

"All have the original seals intact," Jay said. "You can check, if you'd like." Olivia opened them, one by one, and confirmed what he had said. "I knew you'd never take them otherwise." He handed her a small safe, about the size a child would use to store an allowance, and a new combination lock. "You set the combination and I`ll keep the box with me. All your medicine will go in here so that you know that I can't touch it and I know that you won't try anything stupid. Got it?" Olivia took the safe and set the combination.

He pulled out a pre-packaged deli sandwich and gave it to her. Olivia took it and set it aside. She poured out the pills and bandages she needed and put the rest in the safe and locked it. "I can take care of myself from here," her voice was quiet but resolute. She wanted him gone. She wanted to be alone.

Jay regarded her. "Alright then." He tossed her the shirt. "Put that on. I`m going to have to cuff you before I leave."

Olivia dressed, glad that the shirt was large enough that it fell down to her mid-thighs. Jay handcuffed her and then removed the final object from the bag. He tossed the blanket onto the bed and tucked the empty garbage bag into his pocket.

Olivia watched him as he turned to open the door. "I`m going to get out of here. And I will throw your sorry ass in jail right next to Harris'."

Jay kept his eyes on Olivia as he lifted the door just enough to duck out. "I know. And I won't hesitate to kill you if you try."

* * *

**Reviews are wonderful - if you like it, leave a comment; if you don't like it, leave a comment.**

What do you think so far? Is the pace good? Are the characters written well? I always feel a bit hesitant with my dialogue, so let me know if it seems stiff to you.

I know it might be an issue that I`m saying Harris was released from prison after only a few years. He probably would still be in jail for a while, but I have him released now because that works better for my purposes. Also, despite what TV-Dramas have to say about it, rapists actually don't usually see much jail time. They should, but they don't. Most only serve a few years; even more are simply released from lack of evidence. If only real world courts had the conviction rate and high punishments for rapists that L&O SVU does...


	4. Chapter 4

Harris was sitting in the security office watching the cameras positioned at the main and side gates when Jay walked in.

"What are you still doing here? It's almost 3am," Harris asked.

"Had to get her cleaned up a bit. You worked her over pretty good."

Harris shrugged.

Jay's voice had an edge to it. "You pull something like that again and there's going to be trouble," he said. "I don't give a damn if they kill you, but I`m not going to get screwed over for your mistakes. One more stunt like that and I`m pulling her out of here and taking her to the boss early. Got it?"

"You can't do that."

"The hell I can't! Try it. The boss wants her unharmed and you know that. If you just ease up on her from here out, most of the marks will be gone by Friday. I take her to the boss, you settle up with him on whatever your deal was… he's happy, you're happy – everyone's happy."

"You listen to me." Harris stood up and moved over to stand directly in front of Jay. "She is _mine_ until Friday. I don't care what sort of fucked up business you have, wanting to get in with the boss and I don't care. For this week, she belongs to me and you work for me. That was _our _deal. So why don't you keep your opinions to your own damn self. _Do you understand me?_" Harris' face was only inches away from Jay's as he ground out his final statement.

A muscle twitched in Jay's jaw. "Understood."

"Good." Harris sat back down at the desk. "Now, my shift ends in three hours. You get on out of here and get some sleep. I`ll call before my shift starts again at ten and tell you what I want you to do."

Jay nodded curtly and turned on his heel. Once he had let himself out the employee entrance/exit, he whirled around and slammed his fist into the wall. Then he shook it off and walked to the bus station.

* * *

_Sunday Morning_

Elliot stumbled out of the crib at 5am. He, Munch, Fin, and Cragen had been rotating out so each of them could get a few hours of sleep. "Find anything yet?"

Fin hung up the phone. "We've got nothing here… But I just talked to Homicide; they're doing a little better. Got someone says they remember seeing a big dark van in the alley around eleven. Other than that, they're pretty useless as a witness, but at least we've got confirmation that someone else was in that alley."

"What else?" Cragen looked at him.

"Three of the perps were shot in the back. Now, if you were a perp and you had Olivia cornered in an alley with a gun, why would you turn your back and let her get close enough to shoot you point-blank."

"You wouldn't," Elliot said. "Could have been someone else with Olivia's gun."

"Which is another problem," Cragen said. "Olivia wouldn't give her gun up easily."

"Cap'n, there's one other thing I got from Homicide: there was a trail of blood that didn't directly lead to any of the bodies. They're waiting on DNA to make a positive ID, but what they do know is that it's A-positive. Anyone know what Olivia's blood type is?"

"Yeah." Elliot's voice was husky. "She's A-positive."

There was a pregnant pause.

"How much… how much blood was there?" Elliot asked.

"Not a lot. Some smeared on the wall and then a couple drops leading to where the van must've been parked. It… it might not be hers."

"No? How else would someone get Olivia's gun away from her?" Elliot was angry and it showed. The veins in his neck looked like they were about to pop clear out from under the skin and the sound of his teeth gnashing together as he clenched his jaw could probably be heard a block away.

"Elliot!" Cragen's sharp voice pulled Elliot back from the growing rage. "Elliot, listen. All of you, listen. This is Homicide's case and we are all going to do everything we can to help them find Olivia. Start looking for anyone with a grudge against her or people she's put away who have been recently paroled. Get a list together and send it over to the guys at 1PP. _Everyone_ in this squad is too close to her to be directly involved, but let's make sure we give Homicide everything they need to find her and get her back here."

* * *

_Sunday Night, 10:30pm_

Jay had Olivia's medicine safe tucked under his arm as he walked down the row of empty storage units at the back of the complex. He had a bag of food in his right hand and the pockets of his khaki cargo pants were loaded down.

The storage center was locked down every night at 8 and Harris' graveyard shift started at 10, so Jay had to wait until everyone but Harris was cleared off the premises before Jay entered the area. It was better if no one saw him and Harris together.

He lifted the door and entered quickly. Olivia had stood when she heard the door start to open and was standing in the back of the room, still handcuffed and wearing nothing but his old shirt. He tossed her the safe and she caught it. Her eyes never left him; he could feel her gaze burning into him, watching him – studying him.

"How you feeling?" he asked her.

"About as bad as I look." Olivia couldn't see her face, but if the bruises covering the rest of her were any indication, she looked pretty rough.

"Brought you food." He handed her a fast food bag. Olivia took it, but didn't open it.

"What's your deal, Jay?" she asked. "Why are you here?"

"Well, right now, you need food and you're probably ready for another round of pain killers."

"You know that's not what I was asking. Why are you with Harris? What do you have to do with him? What are you getting out of all this?"

"Not something I`m going to talk about. Just eat and take the medicine."

She didn't acknowledge what he had said, but pressed on. "I mean, really… you seem like a half-decent guy when you're not holding me down so Harris can use me for a punching bag. You've got no reason to be around him… Go to the cops, and tell them what's going on… or just let me walk out of here. I`ll put in a good word for you. If you let me go now, I could probably even talk our ADA into charging you as a facilitator and not a co-conspirator."

"You're wasting your breath. I have my own plans and trust me – getting thrown in jail again for _any_ amount of time is not among them."

"So, what's the plan? You just run around doing whatever Harris tells you to until eventually you do get caught?"

"I already told you – Harris is nothing. This is just… a job interview of sorts."

Olivia paused, processing this new information. "A job interview for…?" Her voice lilted upward and faded out inquisitively.

"Nothing." He refused to say anything else.

He stood near the door and stared at the wall while Olivia wolfed down the food. It wasn't necessarily what she would have picked to eat, but she couldn't afford to be choosy. She hadn't exactly gotten a lot of food in the past two days. _Has it been two days already? They have to know I`m gone by now… somebody has to have seen what happened. Once they realize Harris has been paroled, I`m sure they'll put it together. _

She ate slowly, lost in thought. Jay's watchful eyes followed her as she swallowed a couple pain-killers. "And the Vitamin-E," he said. "It helps minimize scarring."

"Why would you care about that?" _Well, at least I know they plan on me being alive long enough to worry about scarring. I don't think that makes me feel any better…_

"Just take it. Don't make me shove it down your throat." Olivia shrugged and took the pills. She packed everything back into the safe and locked it. She walked to the front of the room and handed it to Jay.

He set it down on the ground and turned to face her. "Take off your shirt."

Olivia didn't like the look in his eyes. She started to back up, trying to put some distance between them. Jay followed her; he towered over her as he took one step after another, pushing her farther and farther back until she bumped into the wall to the right of the bed.

"Take off the shirt, Olivia."

"No." It was the first time he had called her by name and she hated the way it sounded. He spoke her name like a lover would, with a caress inherent in the way his mouth formed the sounds.

He stepped forward again. Olivia raised her bound hands between them, trying to keep him at a distance. He grabbed her hands and lifted them up above her head. He closed the final distance between them; Olivia felt the heat of his body burn against her chest. She started to jerk her knee up, but he leaned in and pinned her legs down.

"I –" it was hard to speak and hard to think. "I can't take the shirt off with my hands cuffed. How 'bout you take the cuffs off first?"

Jay glanced up at her hands. His face was an inch away from hers; he looked down into her eyes and grinned. "Good point." He kept his left hand holding her arms up above her while his right dove in his front pocket for the key. Olivia stiffened. The way that he was pressed against her, reaching into his pocket caused him to brush the back of his hand across her lower abdomen and upper thigh. He caught her eyes with his own as he withdrew his hand from between them and reached up to unlock the handcuffs.

He freed her hands and stepped away. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. I've already seen you."

Olivia had no intention of stripping for him. She grabbed his right arm and stepped around him to twist it up behind his back.

Jay ducked and turned, pulling away from her before she even completed the maneuver. "Wrong decision." He grabbed her upper right arm. Even now, he was careful to avoid applying pressure directly on the bullet wound. He shook her violently and her head snapped back, coming perilously close to the wall.

"Stop! Let me go!" She swung at him and got at least one strike to his jaw. Jay backhanded her viciously and shoved her down onto the bed.

Olivia fell backward; she turned as she fell to try to catch herself before impact. The moment she hit the mattress, Jay was on top of her. He crouched over her hips and grabbed her shoulders, twisting her body until she lay flat on her back. Olivia's hands scuttled over his arms, shoulders, neck and face, trying to find a grip to hurt him, to push him off, to get him away from her for even just a second. She raked her nails down his cheek, drawing three thick lines down the left side of his face. They started to ooze blood.

Jay lifted his right hand off her shoulder and smacked her, open-handed, across the face. Olivia's head snapped to the side with the impact. She glared upward as an angry, red handprint materialized on her skin. She spat; Jay grunted and jerked back as the spittle landed just below his right eye. His right hand reached for her throat.

"No, no, no, NOOO!" Olivia fought him. Jay leaned forward, pressing down on her windpipe until she started gasping for air. "Stop it, stop, please…" she breathed.

Jay balanced most of his weight on his knees, her hips pinned between them. He kept a pressure on her neck, not enough to knock her out, but restricting her air enough to keep her from fighting him. He reached into one of the pockets of his cargo pants and pulled out a length of rope. There was already a slip knot tied in one end. He pushed the loop over her right wrist and tightened it.

Olivia pulled against the line, but he pressed down on her throat again. "Stop fighting me," he growled. Her eyes flashed hot with rage and she renewed her struggles. Her body was shaking beneath him as her legs scrambled for purchase on the mattress to try to push him off. Jay pushed down and forward, his hand pressing up just under her jaw. Olivia coughed, shuddered and went momentarily limp; Jay removed his hand from her neck.

Jay reached forward and grabbed the head of the mattress. He lifted it up slightly and tugged the rope in under it. He secured it to her other wrist just as Olivia regained her breath and started to move again.

"NO!" Olivia was in full panic as she realized that she had lost the use of her arms. Her wrists were pulled to the edge of the bed and bound down by the rope that passed under the mattress beneath her. As she tossed her head from side to side, she could see the muscles standing out in her forearms as she strained against the rope. "Let me go!" she screamed.

Jay sat back on his heels. He placed his hands on her hips and pushed himself down her legs, using her weight to prevent her from kicking up at him. He turned around, making sure to never give her a chance to move her legs. He pulled out another piece of rope and tied it around one of Olivia's ankles. He repeated the process, looping the rope underneath the bed to bring it around and bind the other ankle. He forced her legs apart and tightened the rope.

Jay stood up next to the mattress and looked down at her. Olivia was shaking from head to toe and her eyes shot daggers of fire. Jay pulled out a knife and snapped the blade open. Olivia's expression shifted abruptly from one of anger to one of terror. Her gaze darted from the knife to Jay's face. His expression was inscrutable. She tried to remember what she had always told other women. _Don't fight. Just do whatever it takes to survive. Just focus on surviving. _She closed her eyes as her whole body trembled. She had heard so many women talk about dissociating during an assault, their minds leaving the reality of the trauma to hide elsewhere in their thoughts.

Olivia wished that she could dissociate. At that moment, she wanted to be _anywhere_ except where she was. Unfortunately, years as a cop had trained her to always pay attention to every detail. So as much as she wanted to, Olivia was unable to close off her senses. She felt the mattress dip as Jay knelt over her, straddling her waist. She felt the warmth of his body as he leaned over her and placed a hand next to her head to hold up his weight. She felt his breath flow hot and moist against her bruised neck as he spoke.

"You just had to fight, didn't you?" He sounded coldly amused.

He sat back up and Olivia shivered, partly from the cold as the heat of his body left her and partly from frightened anticipation of what might be coming next. Cold steel brushed against her skin at the dip between her collarbones. He lifted the fabric of the shirt and cut upward.

"I liked this shirt, you know." His tone was jocular and Olivia wondered if he was actually trying to lighten the mood. He sliced the shirt down the front and through each of the thin straps of fabric that crossed over her shoulders. He tugged until he had pulled the fabric out from beneath her.

Olivia kept her eyes closed. Then she felt his weight shifting again as he got off of her and stood. She opened her eyes. Jay was turned away from her. He bent to pick up the garbage from her food and the box that held her medicine.

"Harris will be here soon."

Olivia's eyes followed him. He opened the door, slamming it upward, and ducked underneath it as it came crashing back down to close. The bolt slid in the lock. Never once did he turn to look back at the woman he had stripped naked and left tied spread-eagle on the bed.

* * *

**Reviews are wonderful... please leave one for me. **


	5. Chapter 5

WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic depiction of rape. This is mature content for ADULTS ONLY.

* * *

Olivia's breathing was ragged. She stared up at the ceiling, fighting back tears; her ears strained to detect any sound of someone approaching. All she could hear was the blood pounding in her ears and each gasp of air that tore through her lungs. She knew that she was on the edge of a panic attack and was fighting to regain control of herself.

Harris waited over an hour before leaving the security office and heading to the storage unit where he was keeping Olivia. He had had no particular reason for delaying the visit, but he liked the idea of her being tied up and helpless, waiting for him to come for her. He entered the room at about midnight.

Olivia heard the lock slide and the door lift open. She didn't turn her head; she didn't want to see him. She heard him step toward her as the door fell back into place. "Hey there," he said as he sat on the edge of the mattress and rested his hand on her lower leg. Olivia's eyes shot toward him as she tried and failed to jerk her leg away. Harris laughed at the fire in her gaze.

His hand skimmed up to her inner thigh. Olivia's hands balled into fists and she caught her lower lip between her teeth. Tears were starting to flow down her cheeks. She hated the helplessness of being tied down and unable to fight back. She hated knowing what was coming. She had worked Sex Crimes for longer than she cared to remember and had seen the very worst of humanity. She had seen Ashley's battered face and body and had seen Risa lying on a cold metal table in the Sealview infirmary. She had come perilously close to being on the receiving end of Harris' violent lust once before and now it seemed there was no escape. She closed her eyes.

Harris removed his hand from her thigh and stood. Olivia listened as he pulled his shirt over his head. She listened as he tugged down his zipper, kicked off his shoes, and stepped out of his pants. He got back on the bed, kneeling between her legs. Olivia's whole body was shaking, though she wasn't sure whether it was from fear or anger.

He placed his hands on her hips and slid them up to the base of her ribcage. His thumbs traced in circles on her skin, raising goose-bumps. He moved up to her breasts and Olivia jumped. She tried to pull away but couldn't move. Harris grabbed her face with one hand and bent over her. His lips brushed against her ear. "You know you want this." He pushed his hips forward so that his erection slid across her bruised center. "You like it."

Olivia screamed and twisted her body underneath him. She knew that it was useless, but she needed to try. She jerked against the ropes that held her down and strained every last muscle in her body as she writhed on the bed. Harris lowered his body down on top of hers, pushing her back flat on the mattress. She was still screaming. He dipped his head down to her breasts and caught her left nipple between his teeth. Olivia yelped and opened her eyes. She leaned her head back and focused on the corner of the walls and ceiling. She stared at that corner as she felt Harris reach one hand down between them and positioned himself between her legs.

"Dry bitch," he muttered. He pushed himself up to sit on his heels, one hand still holding himself poised to enter her. He brought his other hand up to his mouth and spit on his fingers. He rubbed his saliva over her entrance and pushed two fingers in. Olivia arched back, trying to pull away from him.

"No, no, NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Olivia screamed

Harris twisted his fingers inside of her. "You want it," he told her. "You want it rough." Olivia looked up at him, trembling in revulsion. Her eyes were smoldering; she wanted to fight. Harris reveled in the control he had over her. "You are going to give me everything I want. You will do everything I say and afterward, you will say 'thank you.'"

"The hell I will," Olivia ground out.

He withdrew his fingers and wiped them on her inner thigh. "You will." He sounded confident. "You will do whatever I tell you to, do you want to know why?" He closed his hand around her throat. Olivia met his eyes as his fingers curled around her neck, two of them still moist from violating her. "Because you _know_. You know that no matter what I do to you, I could always do something worse." His voice had a resonating timbre, as though he were trying to seduce her.

Olivia shivered. After all her years with SVU, he was right – she did know.

Harris smirked. He could see the tormented thoughts that lurked behind her eyes. He didn't even have to come up with any inventive threats for this one. All he had to do was remind her of what she already knew men were capable off. He grew harder, if that were possible. He had been waiting for this for so long – to have her, to have Olivia Benson open and waiting for him to do whatever he please, to see her completely under his control, to know that she was his to possess totally.

He leaned forward, putting one hand down on the mattress beside her shoulder and supporting his weight. He pushed into her, burying himself to the hilt. His hips pressed against the bruised flesh on her inner thighs. He held still, enjoying the feeling of her warmth around him. He started to pump in and out, throwing his body into her.

Olivia wanted to look away, wanted to disappear, wanted to free her arms so she could bash his skull in and run away… She couldn't move. He thrust into her over and over again. His hands were positioned on either side of her shoulders; his head hung down so he could stare at her breasts. As his body collided into hers, creating fresh bruises and battering her insides, he watched the movement of her breasts, mesmerized. He pushed into her with such force that she felt herself shift on the mattress, her body repelled by the monster driving into her.

She had an idea. Olivia opened her legs and tried to pull her legs up toward her body.

Harris didn't know what she was dong, but he felt her opening up to him and he groaned as he sunk further into her depths. He paused for a moment and pulled away from her. He reached back and untied her ankles, then brought her legs up and wrapped them around his waist. He pushed into her again and Olivia moved further up the mattress. The ropes around her wrist loosened slightly and she started to wriggle the line, slowly pushing it up toward the edge of the mattress. She looked back over her head. _Six inches._ She only had to move another six inches toward the wall and she would be able to slip the rope free of the mattress.

Olivia bit her lip. She hated herself for what she was about to do, but if her plan worked it would be worth it. _Maybe._ She lifted her hips up to meet his next thrust. Harris grunted in surprise and pushed into her even harder. Olivia whimpered in pain as he butted up against her cervix. When he slammed against her, she slid upward half an inch. She placed her feet against the mattress and pushed slightly. _Another quarter of an inch. _

Every time Olivia forced her body to respond to him or moved her legs to gain purchase against the cushion beneath her, Harris felt like he needed to step up the force to assert his dominance. Slowly, painfully, Olivia moved up the bed. Harris didn't notice what was happening until he saw her right hand slip over the corner of the mattress.

"Bitch!" Harris lunged forward, pulling out of her as he did so. His hand closed around her forearm and pinned it down. "What do you think you are doing?" he growled.

"Getting away from you," Olivia hissed. She jerked her arm, managing to free it from his grasp. He scrambled to regain control. Olivia lashed out, trying to gauge his eyes. Harris whipped his head back out of range. He grabbed her arm and pushed it up above her head. Olivia was still working on slipping her left hand out from around the mattress but, since the mattress was pressed against the wall on that side, it was a little harder to manage. Harris saw what she was doing and seized her left arm too. He brought her hands together over her head and pulled out the rest of the rope. There was about six feet of slack in the line between her two wrists.

He looped it around and bound her hands together. Olivia struggled, but she was still pinned beneath the weight of his body. His penis was caught between them, leaking pre-cum onto her stomach as he tied her more securely. He held her arms down with one hand as his other moved down to reposition himself at her entrance. His body crushed down over hers.

Tears ran down Olivia's face as he entered her for the second time. She choked on her frustration at the failed attempt. Harris supported part of his weight on one elbow; his hand came up to trace over her face. She twisted her head to the side and stared at the door to the storage unit.

It didn't take him much longer to finish. When he did, he groaned her name. Olivia wanted to vomit. He collapsed on top of her, his sweaty body stretched out over hers. He nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck. "Was that as good for you as it was for me?" He lifted his head up to look her in the face and smiled.

Olivia pushed herself upward; her teeth sunk into him. Harris screamed in pain. He jerked away from her and jumped to his feet. "You bitch!" he screamed. "You fucking whore, I`ll kill you!"

She started to rise, but Harris dropped down to one knee on the side of the mattress. Both of his hands closed around her neck. Olivia's bound hands came down and she tried to pull him away as she thrashed about.

The storage unit door slid open and Jay rushed in. He pulled Harris away from Olivia and she sat up, coughing.

"Harris! What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Jay looked at Harris for the first time and saw the bite mark. Olivia's teeth had broken through the skin around his jaw. Her upper teeth marks were plainly evident on the left side of his cheek; her lower teeth started on the bottom of his jaw just in front of the point where the bone turns up to meet the ear. Blood dripped down from the fresh wounds. "Fuck…"

Jay glanced down at Olivia. Her hands were tied in front of her and legs were free; the rope he had used to bind her ankles was still looped under the mattress, the ends resting on the bed. Somehow she had managed to get herself free and mark Harris in a manner that he wouldn't be able to hide. He felt a quick rush of admiration for the woman and smiled.

"I've gotta go clean this up." Harris had one hand pressed against the bleeding bite mark. "Go ahead and take your turn with her. I`ll be back in a bit – I want to watch."

Jay stood over Olivia to make sure she didn't try to make a run for it as Harris threw on his clothes and hurried out.

Olivia felt more tired than she had ever been in her life. Everything from her waist down was bruised and sore, her legs were shaking and, as soon as she sat up, she could feel Harris' semen leaking out of her onto the mattress. She felt used, ashamed and terrified. She had fought and lost; she had used her body and responded to her rapist in an attempt to free herself and had failed. And when he left, she was only stuck with another man to rape her again.

Her body was wracked with sobs. Jay towered over her and watched her shoulders shake as she tried to regain control. He squatted, bringing himself down to her eye-level.

"Olivia?" he whispered. He reached out to touch her face. She pulled away and jumped to her feet, kicking out at him. Jay had been perched precariously on the balls of his feet and lost his balance easily. He fell backward and rolled over to his stomach. He braced his hands next to his shoulders to push himself up, but Olivia dropped a knee into the center of his back.

"Stay down," she ordered. Jay pushed himself up off the ground. Her weight was a minimal impairment and, with her hands bound, there wasn't much she could but fall to the side as he propelled his body upward. He got to his feet and Olivia rose back to hers. He closed in on her, backing her up against the wall.

"Stay away from me."

Jay leaned in, pinning her arms between their chests as he braced one hand against the wall next to her head. A lock of hair was caught on her cheek. His right hand came up and pushed it back behind her ear.

"Don't touch me!" Olivia snapped.

"You heard Harris. It's my turn." Jay grinned. "Around here, what Harris says, goes." He rocked his body against her. Olivia whimpered as the rough denim of his pants pressed against the bruises on her thighs.

A flash of regret crossed over his face. "Look, I don't want to hurt you. Just get on the bed and I promise I`ll be gentle."

Olivia shoved him away from her. "Fuck you. I`m not going to make it easier for you to rape me." Jay stumbled back and Olivia moved to get away from him. He caught her before she got more than two steps away. He looped one forearm around her shoulders and the other grabbed around her waist. He dragged her back toward the bed.

* * *

**A/N:** This was probably the hardest (and longest) rape scene I`ve written yet. Let me know what you think of it. I promise, the plot _will_ move forward soon. Next chapter or two some more stuff will start happening. I`m not going to say anything else quite yet...

**Reviews are wonderful - please leave me one.**


	6. Chapter 6

WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic depiction of rape. This is mature content for ADULTS ONLY.

* * *

Jay pulled her back to the mattress and threw her down. Olivia scrambled to get away, but he dropped on top of her. Her arms were pinned beneath her as she felt Jay's warmth press against her back, forcing her down.

"Just calm down," he said. His legs clamped around hers like an iron vice, completely immovable. His hands reached to stroke her back and shoulders, trying to soothe her as she sobbed and twisted.

"Get _off_ of me!" Olivia's voice was muffled by the fabric of the mattress. She struggled to turn and face her attacker, but Jay's body covered hers completely, holding her down.

Jay sat back on his heels, holding her legs trapped between his thighs. He took her by the shoulders and helped her to turn over onto her back. Olivia's hands were curled under her chin as she tried to cover herself. Jay reached down for her hands and pried them away from her chest. Olivia's breath caught in her throat as he pushed her arms up above her head.

He gripped her jaw with one hand as he lowered himself down on top of her. The cotton of his shirt rubbed against her breasts. He bent his head down to kiss her neck, careful to keep his hold on her face so she couldn't bite him like she had Harris.

Olivia whimpered as Jay moved his lips down her skin, leaving a trail of soft hickeys.

The door opened and Harris walked back in. He headed straight for the bed, sat, and took Olivia's arms. Jay sat up, pulled his shirt over his head and threw it aside. He unzipped his pants. Olivia thrashed underneath him, but he was sitting on her legs and Harris had her arms stretched up above her head. Jay lay on top of her and pushed his pants down, slowly working them off his legs as his body smothered hers. He dug his knees down between her legs, forcing her thighs apart.

"Jay, stop – please, please don't do this."

Jay didn't look at her. He reached his hand down and stroked himself until he was hard.

Olivia's voice was soft as she pleaded with him. "Don't… please don't…" Jay closed his eyes as he started to slip into her.

Every muscle in Olivia's body tensed and she bit her lip to swallow her cry of pain. Jay froze and looked down at her. He was still holding her face in one hand and he brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. "I`m sorry," he whispered too quietly for Harris to hear. He eased the rest of the way in.

It was over quickly. As soon as he finished, Jay pulled out and got off of her. The cold hit her body and Olivia shakily drew her legs up to her chest as she curled into the fetal position. Harris let go of her hands and watched remotely as she gasped in deep, shuddering breaths and tried to master her emotions. Jay hastily pulled his clothes back on.

Harris stood and pulled Jay to the side. "I`ve got a meeting scheduled with my P.O. tomorrow afternoon." He gestured at the bite mark on his face. "This is gonna be hard to explain. Why don't you go ahead and get this place wiped down and get rid of her by morning?"

Olivia strained her ears to listen to what they were saying. She moved slowly, trying not to alert them to her movements. She dipped her hands down between her legs and wiped some of the moisture that was pooled between her thighs. She slipped it around the side of the bed, between the mattress and the wall and rubbed it into the fabric. Hopefully if they were going to wipe the place down, they wouldn't think to check between the wall and the mattress. She knew that CSU would.

As soon as she had completed her surreptitious maneuver, Olivia curled back on her side. She was careful to make sure she was in roughly the same position as before. As she was shifting, she had missed Jay's reply to Harris but she heard when Harris spoke again.

"Sorry we didn't have more time together, sugar. Would've been fun." His voice was mocking as he stared down at her exposed and brutalized body.

Olivia clenched her hands into fists, but didn't respond to his goading. Harris smirked as he left. Once he was gone, Jay came over to the side of the bed and pulled her up by the wrists. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

He hauled her outside and pushed her toward the place where he had hosed her down the night before. Olivia barely felt the cold and, when Jay pushed her into the small alcove, she fell to her knees. He didn't say anything as he turned on the hose and sprayed the water over her.

Jay made sure to wash every inch of her skin. Olivia tried to get up and run past him, but he threw her back against the wall. Her tears and sweat ran off her body along with the evidence of her rape. Water swirled around her feet and disappeared into the storm drain. When he finished, he pulled her up. Olivia's lips were blue with the cold as the freezing water evaporated off her skin. She glared at him, but didn't say anything. Jay couldn't think of anything to say to her either.

They walked in silence back to the storage unit. Once they were back inside, Olivia looked around for the towel that Jay had brought her the other night. It was nowhere to be seen. One of them must have taken it earlier and she hadn't noticed because she hadn't had the need for it. She shivered; her body was starting to dry, but her hair was still drenched and it sloughed the excess water down her back and face.

Jay pulled her to the back of the room, back toward the mattress. For the first time since he had raped her, Olivia started to fight against him in earnest. She jerked her arm out of his grasp and ran to the door. She pounded her fists against the metal and screamed, "Let me out! Please, somebody help! Let me out of here!"

Jay came up behind her and reached around her to hold her arms down against her chest. He leaned his head against hers and breathed in the scent of her wet hair. "Shhh…" he soothed. "Olivia, it's alright. I`m not going to hurt you again."

Olivia threw her head back. Jay noticed the motion and pulled away just in time to avoid a broken nose. He spun her around and slammed her back against the wall. Olivia cried out in surprise at the sudden movement. He shook her by the upper arms and shoved her into the wall a second time. The back of her head collided with the wall and she felt dizzy. Jay took advantage of her weakened state to lead her back to the far wall. Olivia stumbled after him as he dragged her along.

He pulled free the length of rope that had bound her ankles. He looped it through the eyebolt in the wall above the bed – the same one Olivia had been tied to when she had first arrived in this hellhole. He then took the rest of the line and bound it around Olivia's hands and her arms down to her elbows. The way in which he tied her forearms together forced her to kneel facing the wall.

Olivia pressed her forehead against the wall. A trail of tears slipped silently down her face.

She heard the door open and Jay left. He returned about an hour minutes later with the smell of bleach. Olivia didn't turn around as he walked to the center of the room and set down whatever he was carrying.

"I brought your medicine."

"Yeah? What for? Harris told you to get rid of me; I thought you always did what he said."

Jay smiled. He was glad to see her fight hadn't left her, despite everything she had been through. "He didn't mean it like that. I just have to move you to –" his voice cut off.

"To where?" Olivia inquired.

"Doesn't matter. You won't have to deal with Harris again." Jay walked over and crouched beside her. Olivia looked at him; he seemed… worried. "Olivia, the men I`m going to take you to… they're not like Harris. You have to be more careful; you can't provoke them like you do Harris. They _will _kill you if they think you're a risk to them."

"Yeah? So you must be real friendly with them. Or had you forgotten? You already told me you'd kill me without a second thought." Olivia was beyond the point of being cautious with her words.

Jay seemed honestly hurt by her accusation. "That's different. If you made me kill you, I`d do it quickly." He reached for her and ran a hand across her bruised neck to emphasize his next words. "I'd cut your throat, or put a bullet through your head. These men would torture you for days just for the fun of hearing you scream. Whatever you may think of me, I wouldn't wish that on anyone." He stood and disappeared from Olivia's line of sight. She heard him rummaging through whatever he had brought into the room with him.

Olivia returned to the same question that had been on her mind since she first met Jay. "So what are you doing mixed up with these guys, then? If you disapprove of their methods so much…?"

Jay came to stand behind her. He didn't say anything. Olivia opened her mouth to ask again. Jay clamped his hand down over her mouth. Olivia felt a pill fall against her tongue. She struggled to spit it out; she tried to bite him to force him to let go. Jay pinched her nose shut as he continued to cover her mouth. His other hand held her jaw, preventing her from snapping her teeth at him. "Just swallow," he ordered. "It's only a sleeping pill. Trust me: it'll be easier this way."

Olivia raged against him, but eventually the need for air forced her to comply. She dry-swallowed the pill and Jay released her. It took about ten minutes for the drug to work its way into her system. Jay stood back and watched her carefully as she fought its effects.

"Not sleep pill…" Olivia slurred as she corrected him. "Sedative…" Her eyes were closing. "Sleeping… pill… not so fast…" She slumped against the rope that strung her to the wall. Jay untied her and laid her down on the mattress. He pulled away the old gauze and inspected the wound. It was beginning to heal well. He applied an antibiotic cream and taped fresh gauze in place.

Once he had tended to her, Jay went back to the cleaning supplies he had brought in with him. He donned large yellow rubber gloves, picked up a sponge, and dipped it in a container of bleach. He started to wipe down every square inch of the door, lock, walls, and floor. It took over an hour for him to be sure he had done a thorough job. It was pushing 4am when he picked Olivia up and threw her over his shoulder. He held her in place with one hand while the other doused the mattress with the leftovers from the gallon of bleach he had been using.

He opened the door and stepped outside. He deposited Olivia on the ground and wiped off the outer door and lock. He picked her up and carried her toward the employee door. Harris stepped out of the office when he saw Jay approaching.

"Do you have a car to take her in?"

Jay shook his head. "Didn't think we'd be moving her so soon. You want me to go bust one and come back for her?"

"No." Harris shook his head. "Just take mine. I`ll catch the bus home and get the car from you later. Just text me and let me know where you dump it."

"Alright." Jay regarded the other man; his eyes kept being drawn back to the vivid bite mark on the left side of his face. "Good luck with your P.O. meeting."

Harris snorted. "We both know how that's going to turn out."

"Was it worth it?"

Harris' expression turned sour as he gestured to Olivia. "That bitch ruined me. She ruined everything I ever had. I`ll probably go back to prison for a while, but that whore will spend the rest of her life somewhere far worse. And every day, every moment of her miserable life, she will remember me and she will regret _ever_ having come to try to fuck around in my business. So yeah, I`d say it's worth it." He took a deep breath, coming down from his tirade. "Just… just get her out of here."

Jay carried her out the employee exit of the storage compound. Harris' car was parked right outside and he laid Olivia out on the back seat. He buckled the center seat belt across her hips and wrapped an old blanket around her. Then he shut the door and got into the driver's seat.

By the time the sun rose, they were far from the city.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey, would you look at that... the plot is moving forward. Slowly but surely, all will be revealed...

I have been loving all the great reviews. It's always good to know that my work is being read and enjoyed and I love to hear your thoughts throughout the story.

**REVIEWS ARE WONDERFUL. Please leave a comment with your thoughts... **


	7. Chapter 7

_Monday, Mid-morning_

Olivia woke up when she felt something tugging on her legs. She was groggy and disoriented and her eyelids felt heavy. When she opened her eyes, at first all she could make out were blurs. Jay pulled her out of the car by her legs and flung her over his shoulder. Her hips rested on his shoulder, her legs hung down his front and her head knocked against the center of his back as he carried her. His hands wrapped around her naked thighs to hold her in place. Olivia kept her eyes half-closed; she hoped he wouldn't notice that she was awake, but she still wanted to see everything around her. All she could see were trees, a river just down the shoulder from the narrow country road, and a dusty Chevy Tahoe with a blue paint job and darkened windows.

Olivia knew that this would be her perfect chance to take off running, but her body was still recovering from the effects of the drug Jay had given her. Her limbs felt heavy and lethargic; it took so much energy just to keep her eyes open, Olivia seriously doubted she would be able to stand.

"This her?" A man got out of the driver's side of the Tahoe.

Olivia felt her blood run cold. _I recognize that voice. The man in that alley, the one driving the van…_

"Yeah," Jay replied.

Mark walked around Jay, to where Olivia's head and arms were hanging limply down his back. He grabbed her hair and jerked her head up to look at her face. Olivia gasped at the sudden movement and her eyes flew open to meet his. He no longer was wearing a mask and, in other circumstances, she might have labeled him an attractive man. He had strong features, clear blue eyes and dusty brownish-blonde hair.

"You worked her over pretty good."

Jay snorted. "Harris. Don't worry, though. It's nothing permanent."

Mark's voice was hard. His eyes were cold as they drilled into Olivia's. Her neck was stretched by his grip as he wrenched her head up to look at him; she couldn't speak. "I hope you're right, for your sake. The boss has already got this thing scheduled. He doesn't want to be showing off damaged goods." He pulled a syringe out of his pocket and removed the sterile cap as he spoke to Jay.

"What is that? No, no, don't touch me! Get it away from me!" Olivia jerked, trying to pull away. Jay held her tight as her legs flailed against his chest. Mark grabbed her bound hands and yanked down, exposing the upper arm. Olivia twisted her head to knock the needle away, but Mark elbowed her in the side of the skull.

The needle pierced her skin. Olivia managed to keep her eyes open long enough for Jay to hand her over. Mark carried Olivia over to the Tahoe as Jay pushed Harris' car down into the river.

* * *

_Monday, Early Afternoon_

After SVU had sent the long list of people with grudges against their detective to Homicide and CSU had confirmed that it was, in fact, Olivia Benson's blood at the crime scene, Harris was quickly placed up near the top of the list of possible suspects. Homicide called his parole officer and arranged for one of the detectives to go with him to the scheduled meeting.

All it took was one look at Harris' face and they hauled him in for questioning. There was nothing out of place at his apartment, so they called his employer. The owner of the storage facility granted them permission to search all units that were not currently rented out. On the acre property, there were over a thousand units. Only half of those were rented out. SVU volunteered to come out and help with the search.

There were a dozen cops on the scene when Elliot, Fin, and Munch pulled up to the storage facility located on the far outer edge of Queens. The owner stood next to a Homicide detective; together they were passing out handfuls of numbered keys. Each cop took their assigned keys and started opening up the units.

It was Munch who finally found it – #743. He knew before he even slid the door open that this was the one. The whole thing reeked of bleach. He radioed it to the rest of the searchers; the lead Homicide detective, the rest of SVU, and CSU were all there within minutes. They stepped inside and looked around.

The unit was bare. There were no spider webs, no dust; nothing but a bare mattress in the back corner and an eyebolt screwed into the wall above it at about waist height.

Elliot drew in his breath sharply as he looked around. His cop side was warring with his emotional half as he examined the room. _It's the perfect place to keep someone prisoner – remote, easy to lock, limited access to the facility. There's no blood visible, but that doesn't mean anything. _He looked at the bed. He didn't want to see it; didn't want to think about what it meant. He knew that Harris had already attacked Olivia at Sealview – not the specifics, but enough. He didn't want to think about her trapped in this room with no escape, nobody to come help her, nobody to hear her…

His mind unwillingly flashed, meshing memories of Olivia and the image of this room with dozens of other crime scenes he had seen throughout his career. He pictured Olivia tied up, beaten, bruised, and bleeding from her wound in the alley. _She would have tried to negotiate with him_, he told himself. _She can talk her way out of anything – always has. _He saw her face, stubborn and determined as ever.

CSU came in and the detectives stepped to the side to get out of their way. Each of them was preoccupied with their own thoughts as they examined the scene. After all the pictures had been taken, one of the Crime Scene techs pulled the door down and the room was dark for a moment, until he turned on the black-light to scan the room.

All around, all they could see were circular-patterned scrub-marks from where the perp had wiped everything down with bleach, destroying both fingerprints and DNA simultaneously. One of the techs pulled the mattress away from the wall.

"I think I've got something."

Elliot strode forward to see, bumping shoulders with the Homicide detective as he did so. They leaned in together to observe the stain under the black-light. It was small, but it was there: a smear of fluid untouched by the bleach.

CSU took a swab. "I`ll get this straight to the lab and put a rush on it. We should have the results by tomorrow morning."

* * *

Fin, Elliot and Munch had just arrived back at SVU to fill in Cragen when the captain got a call from Homicide. "Yeah." He held up a hand as the detectives walked in to signal that he would be off the phone shortly. "Alright, I`ll send him right over." He hung up. "Fin, they want you over at 1PP. Harris has clammed up in interrogation, says he won't talk to anyone but you."

"Why Fin?" Elliot asked. "I`m her partner."

"Harris said he wanted to talk to 'Officer Johnson.' Apparently he wants to go over some fond memories from Sealview." They all grimaced at the statement. "Elliot, you go with Fin to observe. Call Huang and have him meet you over there."

* * *

"So, here we are." Harris was handcuffed to the table in the interrogation room. Fin was the only one in with him. On the other side of the one-way mirror, Huang and Elliot stood with the Homicide detective running the case.

"Yeah, here we are. So how 'bout you start talking?" Fin was in no mood for games.

"'Officer Johnson,' hunh?" Harris laughed. "You couldn't have picked a better name for your little undercover trip? I never really got to talk to you after that bitch went and ran her mouth off."

Outside the room, Elliot was having a hard time holding himself together. He was shaking in anger and his hands were in fists. It was probably a good thing that he wasn't in the room. He would have torn Harris apart with his bare hands.

"Too bad you walked in when you did," Harris continued. "Couple more minutes and she wouldn't have been screaming anymore."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"I know what the whores want. I just give it to them."

"Is that what you did now? You get out of prison and decide you just have to go back and finish what you started?"

Harris ducked the question. "You know, every day in prison… I thought about her. I thought about her: her body, her lips, the look on her face when I first brought her down to that basement, the panic in her voice… she was a real fighter you know, in Sealview. But eventually she would have given in. She would have enjoyed it. They all do." He sat back in his chair, leaning as far away from the table as he could. "But I`m a changed man, you know. My time in prison fixed me."

"And that pretty little bite on your face just jumped up there all on its own, hunh? I`ll bet it's just coincidence if our ME matches those marks to Olivia's dental records. What about the semen that you left on that mattress? Your swimmers just decide to wander off without you?"

"What semen? You got nothing on me."

"Oh, no?" Fin leaned in. "We got you cold. Looks like you missed a spot in your cleaning spree." Harris didn't say anything and Fin knew he had him. "Now, why don't you tell us where she is?"

Harris looked up at him. "I have no idea," he said truthfully.

"Yes, you do." Fin got up and walked around behind Harris, leaning over his shoulder. "What, you leave her somewhere alive? Did you kill her and dump the body? You _know _where she is. Just tell us!" His voice rose on the last command and Harris flinched.

"I don't know." He looked up at Fin. "You know, back in Sealview… I saw you with her on the day she came in. Saw you bring her down when she turned on Parker. You drew blood. Does your captain know about all that? Bet you enjoyed it too… working with a frigid bitch like her ever day… You can't tell me it didn't feel good to take a swing at her – to see her on the ground, staring up at you with those big eyes… to see the fear and know that you were the cause of it. It's a power trip, isn't it?

Fin gripped the back of Harris' chair. His knuckles were white with the effort of _not_ bashing the man's brains out. Huang watched and listened through the glass. "Just let him keep talking," he murmured, even though Fin couldn't hear him. "Give him enough rope to hang himself."

"You know, I`ll bet you got off on that, didn't you?" Harris smirked. "Didn't you? Years of working with some tight-ass whore and you finally get the chance to put her in her place… it's a rush."

He paused and sucked in a deep breath before speaking again. "You know, for all her fight… when it came down to it, she just _loved _it. She might have screamed at first, but by the end she opened her legs for me like the filthy little slut she was."

Fin felt his heart jump into his throat at Harris' use of the past tense. "Really now? And when was this? `Cause you sure as hell aren't talking about Sealview now." He circled around to stand beside the table and bent over, his face right next to Harris. "Tell me where she is," he growled.

"I think I want my lawyer now."

* * *

It was mid-afternoon before Mark finally stopped the Tahoe at their destination. Olivia was still passed out. Even unconscious, she curled around herself, trying to shield her naked body. Her face was wet from where the tears slipped out from underneath her sleeping eyelids and trickled down her face.

Jay glanced back at her as the SUV rolled to a stop. "How long will she be out?"

Mark turned the engine off. "A while yet. The dose I gave her should have knocked her out for 8 hours and I gave it to her at about 10… She'll be up and moving around 6, I'd say, maybe just a bit earlier." Both of them stepped out of the car. "We've got a room set up for her already, so go ahead and grab her and I`ll show you where to go."

Jay pulled Olivia out of the car. Her warm, soft body hung limply in his arms as he scooped one arm beneath her legs and the other slipped around her back just under her shoulders. Her head bobbed against his chest and he felt a wet patch forming on his shirt from her tears. A pang of guilt rose in his throat, but he forced it back down. _Not now. Not when I`m this close._ Mark held the door to the warehouse open and they stepped into the darkness together.

The ground floor of the warehouse looked like any other old warehouse. It was a large, open space filled with stacks of lumber and sheets of steel. A fading sign hung over the door next to the office, "Valenti's Specialty Gun Chests." Mark led him through the warehouse floor, where about eight men were busy putting together, polishing, and installing the locks on new gun safes. At the back of the building, behind a pile of scrap wood, was a trapdoor. Mark opened it and Jay carried Olivia down the stairs. None of the men in the warehouse had even blinked an eye at the sight of someone carrying an unconscious, naked woman through their work place.

Downstairs, everything was dark. Muted lights in the narrow hallway revealed only rows of doors on either side. Jay readjusted Olivia in his arms. Mark walked to one door and unlocked it; he stepped in and flicked the lights on. "Drop her in here," he said.

Jay followed him into the room. It was larger than the storage unit, about 12x16 feet, and had a toilet, a sink, and a twin bed. He strode toward the bed and laid Olivia down. She whimpered as her body shifted position and brought new pain to the bruises that covered her. Jay turned his back to her and headed back to the door where Mark was waiting for him.

Mark handed him a key. "This will get you into this room only. Your original requirement was that you take care of her for a week and deliver her to us in good condition. You and you alone are responsible for her until that week is up. When that happens, if the boss is satisfied, you've got yourself a job… and free access to the girls we bring through here, if you know what I mean." He winked and Jay smirked at him in response.

"Long as I`m here a couple days early, you mind if I poke around a bit?" Jay glanced down the long hallway. There were at least two points he could see where other hallways turned off in different directions, spidering out underneath the warehouse. "Man could get lost in a place like this."

"Yeah, I`ll send one of the boys down to show you around. Just hang tight right here for a sec." Mark headed up the stairs and Jay heard him hollering at someone. A moment later, a pair of feet came down the steps.

"Hey." Jay took the proffered hand. This boy didn't look old enough to shave, let alone be in this place. "I`m Tony. Mark said you want the grand tour?"

Jay shrugged. "Yeah, if you don't mind. I`m Jay."

"Cool." Tony turned and started heading down the hallway. "This is the intake area, where we keep new arrivals. Up a bit further on this hall are the men's rooms, where you'll be staying with the rest of the guys. You get your own room, but you're not allowed to bring girls in. If you want some, you have to go to their rooms." They reached the first split; the intersecting hall ran in both directions for about thirty yards. "Latinas are on the right, black girls on the left."

They continued on. Tony tapped on one of the doors in passing. "That's our only open spot right now, so it'll be your room. Talk to Mark later about getting a key." Jay nodded. They arrived at the next split. "Asians on the right, white chicks on the left." These halls stretched almost twice as long as the previous ones. Jay said as much and the boy shrugged. "They're in higher demand, I guess."

Tony turned and started to head back toward the stairs. Jay followed him until they reached the first turn again. He jerked his head to indicate the side hallway. "Hey, I'm just going to head down here a bit, check it out."

The boy lifted his shoulders and dropped them in a sign of indifference. "Go for it. I`m going to head upstairs and get back to work."

Jay walked down the hallway; the sound of his footsteps reverberated in his ears. Each of the doors had a small window of clear plastic in the center. He looked into the first one. A young black girl, about 20 years old, was sitting on the bed with her legs tucked up to her chest. She wasn't crying – just staring off into space as though she were no longer aware of the world around her. Jay moved on to the next room; a woman in her mid-thirties was sobbing. At the room after that, he didn't even get a clear look at the occupant. The moment his head appeared in front of the door, she started pounding her fists against the window and screaming.

He had almost reached the end of the hall before he saw her. He didn't see her face at first; she was sitting on the bed with her back to the door. Her long, smooth hair hung down past her shoulder blades. Somehow, she felt his eyes on her and turned. They looked at each other for an instant and a flicker of light returned to her eyes. Mark called down the hall and Jay disappeared from the window. For the first time in months, the woman in the room smiled.

* * *

**Reviews are wonderful! Every review makes me happy and I love to hear your thoughts/critique/predictions/comments.**


	8. Chapter 8

As Mark had predicted, Olivia woke just before six o'clock. She opened her eyes and took in the new room. There were no windows, so she had no way to judge how long she had been asleep. She sat up and groaned as a wave of nausea hit her. There was a quiet thud as something hit the bed next to her. Olivia looked around. Jay was standing at the foot of the bed; a water bottle rolled toward her on the mattress.

"Drink. It'll help with the aftereffects of the drug."

Olivia opened her mouth, but her throat was too dry to speak. She picked up the water bottle and unscrewed the cap. Her hands were still tied together, so she fumbled with opening it for a moment, but finally got the top off. She took a swig of the water. "Go to hell," she rasped.

Jay shrugged in indifference. "Do as you want." He reached for a bag at his feet, hidden from Olivia's view by the foot of the bed. "Here's some food, clothes, and motrin." He put the bag on the bed and pressed two orange pills into her hand. "Have a good night." He walked out. Olivia heard the lock slide in the door behind him.

As soon as Olivia was alone, her hands started trembling. She looked down through blurry eyes and tried to put the cap back on the water bottle. The liquid sloshed out, splashing on her hands and dripping down onto the mattress. Frustrated, Olivia threw it away from her. It hit the opposite wall and rolled, emptying its contents onto the floor. Olivia pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them as she let the tears run down.

After her eyes dried up, Olivia unsteadily got to her feet. She went to the door and looked out the small window. The hallway was dim, but she could make out other doors lining the hall in both directions. There was absolutely nothing to give her any clue as to where she was or how long she had been unconscious for them to bring her here.

She turned her attention to the rope wrapped around her wrists. It was a sloppy job. Harris had been more concerned with getting her subdued so he could finish raping her than with making sure the bonds were secure. Olivia felt bile rising in her throat as the memories of the previous night hovered on the edge of her thoughts. She pushed them away.

Olivia raised her wrists up to her mouth. She used her teeth to grab a section of the knot and tug. It took a while, but finally the rope fell free. She rubbed her wrists; it felt like needles were stabbing into every inch of her hands as they were released from the constricting ties.

She walked back over to the bed. In the bag that Jay had left was a pair of sweatpants, a black t-shirt, a couple bagels and a few bags of chips. She donned the clothing, glad to be able to cover herself again. The pants fit comfortably but the shirt was a little tight and revealed every curve of the skin beneath

Olivia couldn't even think about sleeping. The sight of that bare mattress terrified her. She couldn't sit still; every time she did so, her mind was overwhelmed with recollections of the night before. So she paced. Olivia walked around the room in circles. The sound of her own footfalls was a constant beat, ticking away the hours.

* * *

_Tuesday, Early Morning_

It was four in the morning when the DNA scan finally finished. Elliot and Fin were both in the precinct; Munch and Cragen had gone home for a few hours sleep. Melinda had spent the night sleeping in a chair in the lab, waiting for the machine's _beep_ to signal that it was done. The moment she had the results, she called Elliot.

Elliot was dozing at his desk when his phone rang. He shot awake and answered it, "Stabler." He put it on speaker phone so Fin could hear.

"Elliot, I`ve got a match for you on two of the three samples."

"Three?"

"It seems there were two male perps. They didn't catch that at the scene because the samples were mixed. The first set of DNA come from vaginal cells that match Olivia's. The first batch of male DNA is semen from Lowell Harris. The last sample didn't get a hit in the system. You find him and bring me a sample, though, and I`ll match it to his calling card."

"OK, thanks, Melinda." Elliot hung up the phone and looked at Fin. "So who's Harris' partner?"

Fin shook his head. "Bastard lawyered up; we're not going to get anything out of him now."

"Worth a try, though… Let's call 1PP and see if they can get us in to talk to him."

* * *

_Tuesday, Mid-Morning_

Fin stepped into the interrogation room where Harris and his lawyer were waiting.

"Who were you working with?" he asked.

Harris smirked at him. "I've got nothing to say to you."

"Really?" Fin sat and put the folder on the table in front of him. "We've got your DNA right there. Pulled your semen off of a bed in a storage facility where you work; your semen was mixed with DNA from a kidnapped NYPD detective who left her teethmarks plain and pretty on your face. Now, I really don't think we need you to say anything. You're going down one way or the other. So just tell us who was with you and maybe things will go easier for you."

"What are you offering?" the lawyer asked.

"No!" Harris interjected. "There is nothing to say."

"Look, we got your partner's DNA too. Just give up the name and where he has Detective Benson."

"No." Harris stood up. "I think we're done here."

When Fin and Elliot got back to the 1-6, Cragen called them both into his office. "I just talked with the Homicide captain. Look's like there's next to nothing to go on. There's an APB out on Harris' car that's gone to every station house in New England. But we don't even have a description or fingerprints on Harris' partner. There's nothing at the original scene, nothing at the storage facility to go on – this case is running dry. Now, 1PP is keeping it open and they're not going to stop looking for her. But Special Victim's crimes don't take a break just because Olivia is gone and I need you two here."

He looked at Elliot; it was obvious that Olivia's partner was struggling to keep it together. "Elliot, go home. See your wife. You haven't called her in two days and she's been looking for you this morning. Fin, I`ve got Munch out handling a statutory case and we just got a call about a body that washed up from the East River with signs of sexual trauma. Melinda is on her way there. Go and meet her at the scene. Elliot will join you on the case when he comes back this afternoon. Good?"

They both mumbled their affirmatives and turned to go.

"We'll find her," Cragen stated. But as he watched his detectives head out, he knew that the chances of finding her alive were dropping drastically with each passing day.

* * *

Jay woke to a fist pounding on the door. He stumbled out of bed and opened the door. Mark was standing just out in the hallway, flanked by two other men. "Get your clothes on," he ordered. "The boss wants to meet that cop of yours."

"Right." Jay's voice was heavy with sleep. "Be right out." He threw on his pants and shirt from the day before, splashed some water on his face, and stepped out.

He walked next to Mark down the hall, to where an older man was waiting in front of Olivia's doors. He was in his mid- to late-fifties with a full head of grey hair. He wore a tailored black suit with a deep red tie and gold cuff-links. He had a face chiseled from stone and sharp green eyes that seemed to take in everything around him.

"Jay," Mark stepped forward to make the introductions. "Meet the boss."

The green eyes met his and Jay felt pinned under their gaze. He waited for the other man to initiate, since he wasn't sure if a handshake would be well received or not.

"Nicky Valenti." The man reached out his hand slightly and Jay stepped forward to take it.

"Sir." Jay acknowledged the introduction with a slight bow of his head, but kept the title formal. His heart was pounding in his chest. _This is not a man to piss off._

"Show me what you have." The voice was firm and authoritative, with only the slightest hint of an Italian accent.

Jay unlocked the door and one of the goons following Mark was the first to step in. Olivia blitzed him from behind the door as soon as he set foot in the room. She used the rope that had bound her when she was brought in; when she had heard movement in the hallway, she had positioned herself behind the door and was holding the rope, doubled over twice, with an end in each hand. As the man walked through the doorway, she slipped her arms over his head and pulled back, tightening the rope across the front of his neck.

Olivia pushed him ahead of her out into the hallway. His hands were clawing at the rope, but she held tight against his throat. "Move," she hissed as they cleared the doorway. There were four men standing right outside – Jay, Mark, and two others. Olivia glanced both ways. To the right, the hall stretched down into darkness. To the left, there was a short hall that ended in a staircase illuminated by a patch of sunlight.

Olivia pressed her back to the wall just outside the door. Mark and the man next to him both had guns drawn. Jay was moving toward her and the man in the suit was just standing and watching the scene unfold. Olivia squeezed the rope around her hostage's neck and he spluttered angrily.

"I`m leaving." Olivia stated firmly as she sidled toward the stairs.

Mark had his gun trained on her. He looked at the man in the suit. Valenti nodded.

A single gunshot echoed in the narrow space. Olivia felt her breath whistle out of her as the man in front of her sagged in her arms. Half of his head was gone and, as she dropped him down onto the ground, his neck lolled backward and smeared blood and brains down her shirt. It was a high-caliber bullet to do that much damage. Mark had aimed through the side of his head, so as not to injure Olivia with the shot, and the bullet went straight through and buried itself in the wall about ten feet further down the hallway.

Jay lunged forward and grabbed Olivia as the body slid to the ground. He yanked the rope out of her hands and spun her around, pushing her face-first into the wall. Olivia's eyes were wide and glassy with shock as Jay manhandled her. He pulled her hands together and started to tie her wrists.

Valenti tsked and shook his head. "Jay, it looks like my team is now a man short. I believe you have a job."

Olivia jerked and tried to pull her hands away. Jay finished binding her wrists and placed one forearm across her shoulders, holding her against the wall. His body pressed into her to keep her in place. Olivia twisted around and he eased away just enough to allow her to turn and face him. "Let me go," she growled.

"Too late for that." Jay smirked at her. "It was a nice try, though. I have to give you credit for that much." He thrust his hips forward, grinding against her. Olivia grimaced and kneed him. He brought his legs together just in time to catch her leg between his thighs and prevent her from striking the blow.

"Mark, Ryan," Valenti spoke to the other two. "Take our detective here to the cellar. Jay and I will be down shortly."

Ryan stepped over his comrade's body to grab Olivia. He pulled her away from Jay and Mark took her by the other arm. They held her tightly and forced her forward. Jay didn't watch to see where they took her; the moment they had taken Olivia, he turned his attention back to the boss.

Valenti was looking down his nose at the body of the dead man at his feet. He sighed. "It was his own fault. He let his guard down and was taken by a woman. Since you are going to work for me, you should know that I have no tolerance for mistakes."

"Yes, sir."

"I run a tight operation. I`m sure Mark has already told you some about it. We usually have between thirty and forty women here, but we have room for as many as a hundred. We take them, train them, and sell them. Most go to brothels and clubs; a select few are sent to private buyers."

"The ones that go to back to the outside world – they don't cause problems?"

Valenti smiled. It was a disturbing sight; he seemed like the kind of man whose face would crack before it held a smile. The grin extended only to the corner of his lips; his eyes were as cold as ice. "Not if they are trained properly here. Once you break a person, you can teach them to do anything you want and they will obey. I could order some of these girls to walk into their family's home and then turn around, come back to a brothel and spread their legs for whomever I told them to. It's a tricky business to do properly – breaking a person's spirit and instilling fear in their soul. But once done right, it is very effective."

Jay nodded.

"The difficulty comes with people like your cop friend. See, many clients want women who will fight them, women that they can break themselves. So we have to be careful with the handling here so that we don't accidentally break the spirit out of them. We want them controllable, to a degree, but we also want our clients satisfied. Most of the clients who like that sort of woman are repeat-buyers anyway. I'm sure you saw as much with Harris. From what I have heard, he could easily have killed her if you were not there to intervene. Men who want to control, to bring down and destroy, often go too far… which only means they will be bringing their wallets back to me again. It's all about making the customer happy and insuring that they keep coming back."

"Your detective, though, is due for a punishment. However valiant her escape attempt, it cannot be allowed to slip unchecked. I am pleased, though, since it showed me that she has not been already broken. I have a number of potential buyers on the line and I wouldn't want to disappoint them." His voice trailed off. "Tell me, Jay – do you know how to inflict the maximum amount of pain without leaving a mark? Do you know how to push someone to the edge of death and bring them back without a single bruise or burn?"

Jay cleared his throat. "No, sir. I could probably come up with some –"

"We don't want any of our girls to receive permanent damage here. Scars, burns, broken bones, even ugly bruises… they are repulsive to look at and demonstrate brutish and uncivilized treatment. I can teach you a thousand better ways to punish." He started to walk down the hall, stepping over the corpse of his former employee on the ground.

"Let's pay Detective Benson a visit," Valenti said. "And we shall begin your education."

* * *

**A/N:** What do you think? I`m trying to play a delicate balance with Olivia - she is strong and will continue to fight, but she is going through a lot and so there will be signs of trauma and shock from all that she suffers. Like I said, it's a balance. I hope I`m doing it well, but let me know if you think I start to fall too far to one side or the other.

**Reviews are amazing! Let me know your thoughts/comments/predictions/critiques. **


	9. Chapter 9

Valenti opened a door along the main hallway; it swung open to reveal a staircase that plunged further underground. He led the way down to the locked door at the foot of the stairs. Valenti unlocked it and stepped into the room. Jay followed.

They had entered into a large, square room. The door was situated in the center of one of the sides. The walls were lined with shelves, which held everything from gags and rope to whips and paddles. There was a chain hanging down from the ceiling in the center of the room and a number of circular rings were grounded into the floor beneath it.

Olivia was huddled in one of the back corners; Mark and Ryan stood over her. In the time before Jay and Valenti had come down, they had stripped her of her clothing and locked leather restraints around her wrists and ankles.

Valenti raised one hand and gestured with two fingers for them to bring Olivia forward. They each grabbed her by an arm and dragged her forward. Olivia jerked weakly against their grasp, more as a pro forma protest than a serious escape attempt. They pulled her into the center of the room. They locked her feet down at just over shoulder-width apart and hooked both of her hands to the chain just above her head.

As soon as Olivia was secured in place, Valenti spoke. "Ryan, go clean up that mess in the hall upstairs." Olivia listened as the man on her right walked away. The door opened and then closed again after the sound of his footsteps. Her heart pounded in her chest as the door slammed shut. Her eyes squeezed closed and her chest heaved as she took in one shallow, jerky breath after another. Mark fitted noise-reducing earphones over her head and then blindfolded her.

"One of the most effective tools in the arsenal is sensory deprivation," Valenti explained in a quiet voice as Mark slipped a pillowcase down over Olivia's face. The creases in the fabric shifted with every breath she took; drawing in towards her face and then fluttering away. "Mute her hearing, take away her sight and ability to move, and use something to cover her face and head to create feelings of claustrophobia even while she is completely exposed. Then you can do whatever you want and – in addition to whatever else you may do – she is left with the utter terror of not having any way to sense what is coming next. You can leave her alone for hours and she will stay in a constant state of panic because, for all she knows, you are right behind her getting ready to attack her again."

Olivia waited. She felt cut off from everything around her. The heat from her breath under the pillowcase was stifling but her body was cool and she felt chills start to rise up her legs and stomach. She thought she detected movement and she twisted her head around but couldn't tell what she was sensing or even where it was coming from. She caught her lower lip between her teeth and drew in a deep breath. Tears started to run down her face but she resisted the impulse to sob aloud. _I won't let them see me cry. I won't beg, and I won't break_, she told herself firmly. _I won't give them that power over me._

They let her stay there for over an hour before Valenti signaled Mark to continue. He went to one of the shelves along the wall and picked up a leather strap. The leather was soft and supple. The strap was three inches wide and several feet long. Mark paced around Olivia, being careful to stay at least a foot or two away so that she wouldn't sense the presence of his body heat.

"A strap like that, rather than a whip, won't break skin as easily. It will leave a mark for a few hours – or up to a day, depending on the force. But the real issue here is the surprise of it. She will be anticipating every blow but won't know when it is coming or where it will hit," Valenti explained.

Olivia yelped when the leather snapped across her back. She pulled against the chains and tried to twist around. Mark circled her and struck again; the lash scraped down her torso from her left shoulder to the opposite hip. Olivia swallowed her cry on the second hit; the first one had surprised a reaction from her but she was determined not to give them anything else.

They tormented her for six long, excruciating hours. Valenti left after the first hour or two and Mark continued to show Jay new tricks. They would abuse her for a few moments and then let her wait for a while before starting again. They took ice cubes and surprised her by touching them to sensitive areas around her body. They ran their hands over her, covering every inch of her skin. They poured water over her head so that it soaked the pillowcase and she fought to breath as rivulets of water streamed down her body. They held cigarette lighters near her skin; never close enough to burn, but just close enough that she felt the heat and flinched away.

Since that first frightened cry, they had not heard a sound from her besides the ragged hitch of her breath as she fought not to give in. Her arms were deadened from being held up for so long and every muscle in her body ached. She was afraid to relax as she waited for the next attack, so her whole being was in constant alert and a constant state of tension.

Mark looked at his watch. It was late afternoon. "Wait here with her. I`m going to go get something and I`ll be right back down." Jay nodded and watched as the other man disappeared out the door.

He circled behind Olivia and placed his hands on her shoulders. She flinched at his touch. Jay moved his thumbs in small, tight circled on either side of her spine, pressing into the muscle. Olivia's body was rigid with fear. He moved his hands down her back, massaging her. Though she never made a sound, he could feel her trembling as his hands slid down the back of her ribcage. He knew that she was crying. Jay stepped away and crossed his arms as he watched her.

Mark reappeared within a few minutes. He dragged someone behind him as he stepped through the doorway. He forced her toward the center of the room and flung her down at Olivia's feet. Olivia jerked as she felt something warm and soft come to rest against her legs. The girl drew away from Mark in fear. She pulled herself up to sit, resting her back against Olivia's leg. Olivia felt the young girl shaking.

"New game." Mark smiled at Jay. "I saw you checking this girl out yesterday. You don't get your key to the rooms still until Friday, but I figured I go ahead and give you a chance at her. Fuck her in front of the cop. Miss Detective won't be so tough when she sees what goes on here."

Jay smirked, his lips pressed together in a tight grin as he tried to think of a way out of his current predicament. He looked at the woman crouched at Olivia's feet. She stared up at him in horrified disbelief.

_The last time he had seen her, he was eighteen years old. She was seven. The day Jay had graduated high school; he had fled the foster system in which he and Shauna had spent the last five years since their parents died. Shauna cried when he told her he was moving to Alberta to work for a logging company. She begged him to stay in New York so she could see him._

_Jay promised he would visit her; but once he went north he never came back to the city. They called each other, until the foster parents started to complain about the phone bills. Then there were letters for a while; they slowed when Jay was arrested by the Canadian police for armed robbery. There was no proof and he was released without a conviction, but Shauna's faith in her older brother had been shaken. _

_He was picked up again by the police for assault just before she turned ten. He called her from the prison to wish her a happy birthday. She hung up on him. When she was thirteen, her current foster family formally adopted her. She refused to speak with Jay. After he was released from the assault charge, he was free for almost a year before being charged in a murder investigation. He and two other men had broken into a house while the owners were supposed to be away on vacation. The couple returned unexpectedly and tried to call the cops. There was a scuffle and the home owners both ended up dead. Jay flipped on his compatriots and evidence supported his story that he had been upstairs grabbing the home theater equipment when the murders took place. He pled out to a five year sentence. _

_Three months after his release, he got a frantic phone call from his old foster parents. Shauna had disappeared from the apartment she shared with two other girls from Hudson University. She had told one of her roommates that she had an interview with a modeling agency and had never come back. The police looked for her for a while, but there was no evidence of foul play and no leads on where she had gone. _

_Jay came back to the city within two days of her disappearance. While the cops searched for her, Jay began to investigate the underground scene of the city. He learned about the connection between the modeling agency and sex trade recruiters. It took two and a half months to infiltrate far enough into the trade to get in contact with Mark, who had arranged the "job interview" of supervising Harris' week with Olivia._

Jay walked over to Olivia and pulled the pillowcase off. She looked around, trying to peer out beneath the edge of her blindfold. Jay didn't look down at his sister only a foot or two away from him.

"I don't know. The boss wants this one to stay a fighter. She's a cop; a lot of her spirit probably comes from her ability to protect others. We rape a girl in front of her and that might push her over the edge. Fucking her in front of someone else, on the other hand, would humiliate her and probably make her mad as hell, but not break her."

Mark considered. "You've got a point." He nodded toward Olivia, "pull her down."

Jay unhooked her arms. Olivia cradled them against her chest as the blood flow returned. He pulled the blindfold and earphones off and bent to unlock her legs. Olivia sunk to the ground. She reached out to the girl next to her. "Are you alright? Have they hurt you?" Olivia's voice was tired and her voice dry. She was afraid that talking to the girl would piss off Jay and Mark, but at the same time, her concern for another's well-being came first.

Shauna shook her head mutely. Mark pulled her away from Olivia. He locked one of her wrists to a ring on the ground and walked away to stand in front of the door. "Your show, Jay."

Olivia stood to face him. She raised her chin and stared at him defiantly. She positioned herself between Jay and the girl on the ground.

Jay crossed his arms over his chest. For five long minutes, neither of them moved. Then finally Jay took one step forward. Olivia held her ground.

"Please… don't," Shauna whispered. Her wide eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Jay.

Jay regarded her dispassionately. "What's your name?" He couldn't give away that he knew her.

"Shauna."

"Shut up, Shauna. This is between me and this bitch here." He reached out to grab Olivia's chin. She didn't flinch.

"Don't…"

"Shauna, it's alright." Olivia reassured her. She spoke to Jay, "Whatever you want, she doesn't need to be here."

"I think she does. You see, we're going to put on a little show," he threatened. "And she gets to be the audience." He closed in on her, his body only inches away from hers. He looked over at Mark.

Mark smiled at him and nodded for him to continue.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, there is a bit of Jay's back-story. I`m going to go ahead and cite that a lot of my information regarding human trafficking, the inspiration for Jay and Shauna, and the idea about the modeling agency come from a film called "Human Trafficking," which documents the plight of women being sold as sex slaves and/or forced into prostitution. If you want more information about this, go to (site not affiliated with the movie, just same name).

Also, I`m going back to school tomorrow, so I`m going to warn you that the rate of updates will probably decrease since I am a full-time student and have a full-time job. The pressures of real life will slow the progression of the story, but I promise they will not stop it!

**Please Review!**


	10. Chapter 10

WARNING: Rape ahead. There should be NO minors reading this story. I`m not going to keep putting chapter by chapter disclaimers up when things get ugly. The rest of the story may have more rape scenes and/or flashbacks to a rape. The story is for ADULTS ONLY.

* * *

Olivia felt cold, even as the heat from Jay's body pulsed against her from his proximity. His hands were rough as they brushed over her face and upper body, touching and claiming her skin. Her hands balled into fists at her sides. She closed her eyes; everything in her posture from her straight back and shoulders to the firm set of her jaw spelled a stoic resignation to what was about to happen.

His hands traced the column of her neck and spread over her collarbones. They smoothed over her shoulders and down her arms. Olivia winced as he touched the tender muscles that ached from being bound and drawn upward for so long. He smirked at her as his large paws closed over her fists. "What are you going to do with these?" he asked.

Olivia didn't say anything. Jay manipulated her hands within his own, uncurling her fists. He brought her arms up and rested her palms against his chest. She felt nothing but solid muscle beneath the fabric of his shirt. His eyes stared intently over her shoulder as he held her by the wrists. Olivia started to turn to see what he was looking at, but his right hand snapped forward and grabbed her by the chin. Her left arm fell away from him to rest at her side.

"No." Jay held her so that she couldn't turn. "Don't worry about them. You're all mine." He stepped in closer and leaned his mouth down to hers. Olivia made an attempt to pull away, but his grip tightened on her face and around her wrist. He caught her lips in a long kiss, exploring the warm depths of her mouth. When he pulled back, Olivia's eyes were filling with tears that she refused to shed.

"Stop. Don't touch me," she pleaded. Her voice was quiet, but still insistent. "Please, Jay… just stop this now."

Anger flashed across his eyes as he looked past her. His gaze was focused beyond Olivia.

"You let her talk to you like that?" Mark asked. "I think that one could stand to learn some manners." There was a pause and then Shauna screamed in pain.

Olivia heard the girl cry out behind her and started to tremble.

"Say you're sorry," Jay hissed menacingly. Shauna whimpered; Olivia didn't know what Mark was doing to her but she knew it was nothing good. "Say it."

"I`m… I'm sorry." Olivia stuttered. Shauna was crying softly, but the sound was no longer one of physical pain. Jay shook Olivia slightly and pushed her away from him. She stumbled back a step or two before catching her balance.

"You might not be sorry yet," Jay said as he stripped off his shirt, "but you will be."

* * *

_Tuesday Afternoon_

Melinda Warner was waiting for Fin and Elliot when they got to her autopsy room.

"Your Jane Doe was in her late teens and was in the water for about a full day, so any trace evidence is gone." She started right in on giving her report. Olivia's absence was the elephant in the room that nobody wanted to acknowledge. "COD is blunt force trauma to the head; she was dead before she went in the water. She was also six to eight weeks pregnant. CSU is running both her and the baby's DNA to see if we can get an identity for either her or the father.

"She had healed fractures in both humerus, several ribs, and along the zygomatic arch in her right cheek. Whoever this girl was, someone was abusing her for a long time. There are also signs of long term sexual abuse; she has severe tears and scarring on the vaginal walls and in the rectum."

"Any guess on time of death?" Elliot asked.

"The fact that she was in the water so long makes it hard to tell. I'd put death at twelve hours before immersion, but I could be off by a factor of six hours in either direction."

"So we have no clues to where this girl was dumped and as much as a twelve hour window on when she died." Fin was not impressed. "Sure hope CSU can get us an ID from the DNA." He turned and headed for the door. Elliot started to follow when Melinda stopped him.

"Elliot? Has there been any news on finding Liv?" Her voice was quiet and timid; she had to ask, but she was afraid to hear the answer.

Elliot swallowed. "It's been four days. The trail is going cold." They both knew that the best odds for finding someone alive were within the first two days. At three days, chances were slim. By four or more, the likelihood of recovering the victim alive was almost non-existent.

"You'll find her." Melinda stated. "You have to."

He looked at her and Melinda saw how close he was to breaking down. "I know," he whispered.

* * *

After he finished with her, Jay took Olivia back up the stairs to the main hall. Ryan was guarding the hallway. He pointed Jay towards another non-descript door and Jay dragged Olivia through it.

He pushed her into a room with white tiled walls and floor. The only doors were the one they had come through and another one set on the side wall. On the far wall were a series of shower heads and drains in the floor beneath. There were no curtains. "Clean yourself up." Jay pulled the door closed and stood in front of it.

Olivia walked over to the shower head furthest away from Jay. She tried not to limp, despite the pain emanating from between her legs. She turned on the water and a blast of cold hit her full in the face. A door opened and she heard two pairs of footsteps enter the room and approach her corner. Olivia kept her body turned toward the wall; her arms were curled protectively in front of her chest, trying to shield herself from exposure to prying eyes and cold water alike.

A soft hand reached out to touch her shoulder and Olivia flinched.

"It's alright." The voice was unexpected; it was a soft, feminine, and reassuring. Olivia turned, with her arms still up over her chest. The water was slowly warming and it coursed down her back in waves.

Jay was gone. There were two women standing near her. One was around her mid-forties and the other in her early twenties. They were both attractive women, though they looked haggard and wearied by the world. They each had matching X-shaped scars on both cheeks.

The younger woman did not meet Olivia's eyes, but pressed a small bottle of shampoo/conditioner and a bar of soap into her hands.

"Don't worry," the older woman spoke again. "You're safe for the moment."

Olivia didn't respond. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and heard the blood coursing in her ears. The florescent light was playing tricks on her eyes as it bounced off the spotless white tiles and the room constricted around her. The water was getting hotter; scalding droplets splashed up onto her shoulders and left red circles. Her back was already a brilliant shade of scarlet and steam was billowing out to rise around her. "Who… who are you?" Olivia asked. Her throat was hoarse; she had screamed the entire time Jay was raping her.

_She was face-down on the ground; Jay was straddling her thighs. Olivia's right hand was pressed against the ground, her fingers curled in a fist. Jay wrenched her left arm back behind her back and twisted. Her muscles screamed in protest. Her cheek lay flat against the cold floor. Mark had tied Shauna up in the middle of the room; the girl was blindfolded and bound as Olivia had been earlier. Olivia could see the young woman's feet and legs, but she couldn't turn her head to look any further. Jay held her down with one hand as the other trailed over her bare skin. He circled underneath her waist and pulled her hips up. Olivia was on her knees, bent over completely. Her left shoulder dug into the hard ground as Jay continued to hold her arm twisted up between her shoulder blades. Jay reached down with his free hand and unzipped his pants._

The woman ran her hand down Olivia's arm, jerking her back to the present. She smiled sadly as she introduced herself, "I am Tanya." She waved her hand toward the younger woman beside her. "This is Joanna. We are here to help you... what little we can..."

Olivia didn't even feel the water that scorched her body. She looked around blankly; her eyes finally fell on the face of the woman next to her. Empathy reflected back at her from Tanya's dark eyes.

"What is this place?" Olivia's voice was a little stronger this time and she turned to adjust the water, bringing the temperature down to a more normal level.

Joanna made a series of short, jerky gestures. "This is hell," Tanya interpreted.

Olivia looked askance at her and Tanya answered the unasked question. "Joanna fought the boss' men. One of them tried to make her go down on him and she bit him clear off." Joanna grinned proudly. "So the boss had her marked as 'untouchable,'" she gestured to the scars on her own face. "He cut out her tongue and kept her alive as a servant. Many are not so lucky."

"And you?" Olivia asked. "Why were you marked?"

Tanya sighed. "I was the boss' favorite once, a long time ago. I was fortunate, I suppose, that I escaped having to face his full 'training' program. I didn't feel fortunate at the time. He kept me as his own personal slave for more years than I want to think about. I got pregnant twice. The first child was a girl; she was killed the moment they took her from my arms. I wanted to die the next time I got pregnant. But it was a boy… the boss wanted a son, so he kept my baby and let me live. When Tony was two, the boss said that I was getting too old for him. He cut me so that nobody would ever touch me again. I see my son still… he doesn't know who I am. But I live. My son lives. I don't want to think about the kind of man that the boss is raising him to be…

"But you do not need to hear all these sad stories. Every woman here is living her own nightmare; you should not have to carry the burden of others."

"How many women are here?"

Tanya thought for a moment. "Thirty-two. We were down a bit, but then a new boat with two girls on it came up from Venezuela day before yesterday, and the new man brought you here yesterday. Usually there are somewhere between thirty and forty. Most girls are here for about four months before the boss sells them."

This was the first time that Olivia had heard confirmed what she already suspected. She had encountered human trafficking rings before and knew that there were people all over the world who made their living buying and selling human beings. But if this place had over thirty women at a time, it was the largest operation she had ever encountered. And an organization like this didn't get so big by being sloppy. They were professionals who knew well how to cover their tracks. Olivia's heart dropped down into the pit of her stomach. She turned away to face the wall and used the flowing water and the soap suds as she bathed to cover the fact that she was crying.

* * *

_Tuesday Night_

Olivia pulled the neck of her shirt up over her mouth and nose and breathed in the scent of the fabric. When Jay had brought her back from the showers, the bed was made and extra blankets were laid out at the foot of the bed. The sweatpants she had worn earlier were folded on top of the blanket, along with a new t-shirt to replace the one that had been covered in blood that morning. Jay had not said anything to her, merely pushed her inside and shut the door. Olivia dressed. She noted with a sad irony that the t-shirt they had given her had an NYPD logo on the front, like the kind that tourists buy in Chinatown. She wondered if it was intentional that they had given her that shirt and decided that it probably was.

Almost two hours later, Jay re-entered her cell. Another man followed close behind him. Olivia had gotten to her feet when the door opened and she backed away as far as she could when the men walked in. Jay didn't look at her. "He's a doctor. He's not going to hurt you, just check you out."

Olivia's back was pressed against the wall and every sense was on heightened alert. The doctor set his bag down on the floor and approached her but Olivia moved away, trying to maintain her distance in the small space. They danced around the cell for a few moments before Jay lost his patience. He grabbed Olivia and spun her around, pulling her so that her back was pressed up against his chest. He held her by both arms as she squirmed to get away. He maintained his grip until she gave up and let herself go limp. The doctor moved in.

He felt down her ribcage, checking for any broken bones. He shined a light in her eyes to check pupil reaction. He inspected the wound where the bullet had grazed her. She didn't need to put gauze over it anymore; a nice scab was forming across the exposed flesh. He pulled up her shirt to just below her breasts. Most of the scrapes along her side from the gravel were disappearing; the few places that skin had broken were already solidly scabbed over. She had bruises in all different stages from deep purple and blue to faded yellow-green on her arms, neck, and face from being punched, grabbed, and restrained and on her stomach and sides from being kicked by Harris.

Olivia was quiet through his appraisal until the doctor's eyes looked down between her legs. "No."

"I need to make sure you're not seriously injured." The doctor's voice was smooth, with a soft touch of a southern drawl.

"No." Olivia repeated. Jay was still behind her, preventing her from moving away. He inserted one foot between hers and kicked her legs apart, anchoring his feet just inside her ankles. Olivia flashed back to when Harris had done the same. She swallowed the ball of nerves in her throat, fighting the urge to whimper in fear. The doctor knelt down in front of her and tugged the sweatpants down to her mid-thigh.

Jay brushed his lips over Olivia's ear. "Kick him and I promise you will regret it."

Olivia fought the impulse to strike out as the man in front of her gently touched the bruises that covered her inner thighs and her center. He slid one finger into her intimate folds and felt around. Olivia kicked out at him. Her blow caught him in the chest, knocking the wind out of him and toppling him to the ground.

Jay growled in her ear. Olivia stood straight and waited for him to strike her, throw her down, and beat her. She would not cower.

"No, no…" the doctor wheezed as he pulled himself back upright. "Don't punish her for that. I`m fine."

He walked back to the door and bent to pick up his bag. "She has some tearing, but no permanent damage. Most of the bruises should fade within the next few days." He pulled out an empty syringe and looked at Olivia. "I need to draw some blood, to test for STDs," he explained to her. "You can fight me and you'll be restrained and it will hurt like hell or you can relax and it will be over in a minute."

Olivia exhaled sharply. She jerked her arms against Jay's hold and he released her. She pulled the pants back up to fit around her waist. She walked over to the doctor, pulled up her sleeve, and looked away. He swabbed the area before inserting the needle. Olivia didn't flinch as the metal pierced her skin and he drew out an ounce or so of her blood. He pulled the needle out and placed a small cotton ball over the hole. Olivia held the cotton in place as he stored the blood sample and got a band-aid to place over the needle mark.

Jay brushed past her on his way to the door. Olivia didn't look up at him; she couldn't stand to see his face. The doctor left and Jay paused just before exiting. "Olivia…"

"Don't." She stopped him. "Just don't. I thought that it was Harris pulling your strings, but that wasn't it, was it? You're far worse than he ever was. There's no excuse for you. When the police find you – and they will – and I see you on the other side of locked doors, I`m going to make sure they throw away the key."

* * *

_Wednesday Morning_

"CSU just called. We've got a hit on the dad for Jane Doe's baby. Name is Gregory Lintz, lives in an apartment on the upper east side," Elliot reported as he hung up the phone.

Alex had just walked into the squad room as Elliot finished talking. "I'll go visit a judge and get you a warrant."

Cragen nodded at Fin and Elliot, de facto partners in Olivia's absence. "Go sit on him until you get the warrant. Then pick him up."

* * *

**Reviews are lovely! Comment and let me know what you think**


	11. Chapter 11

_He was inside her. His thrusts were deep and forceful; every movement was about power, violence, and domination. Olivia screamed a single, drawn-out cry for help that went unanswered. Jay released her arm and grabbed her hips with both hands, pulling her into him to meet his thrusts. He pounded against her core and Olivia felt like her body would split in half from the pain._

Olivia woke up tangled in the sheets and pouring sweat. She didn't know how long she had stared through the darkness at the ceiling before finally falling into a turbulent sleep that was rife with nightmares. She extracted her legs from the sheets and sat with her back to the wall, her knees curled up to her chest. The room was utterly dark, save for the soft light that filtered through the dirty plastic window set in her door.

Olivia sat. She waited. She counted the seconds and the minutes, with no way to know whether it was day or night. Every so often, she saw the shadow of someone walking down the hall cross her doorway. At first, her heart rate spiked when she saw a figure pass by, but none of them stopped. So she counted them – how many people passed by her cell and how many minutes and seconds between them. She was willing to focus her mind on anything at all just to keep the memories away.

* * *

Fin and Elliot waited outside Gregory Lintz's apartment. Munch had arrived moments before with their warrant. He was downstairs at the foot of the fire escape with a few uni's, just in case the perp tried to make a run for it.

"Mr. Lintz?" Elliot knocked on the door. "This is the police; open up!" There was a sound of movement, but nobody came to the door. "We have a warrant to search this apartment; we're coming in."

Fin nodded at the officers accompanying them and they swung the ram at the door. It burst open and Fin led the way through, drawing his gun as he crossed over the threshold. He heard someone running and ran after them, Elliot tight on his heels.

They caught up with Gregory Lintz just as he was ducking out onto the fire escape. "Freeze!" Lintz turned and charged at him. He brought his left elbow up and aimed it for the right side of Fin's face. Fin ducked under the strike and shouldered him in the gut. Lintz staggered backward toward the window and Fin brought the gun up to point directly at him. "I said 'Freeze.'"

Elliot seized him by the shoulder of his shirt and pulled him up away from the window ledge. He flung him against the wall, none too gently, and pulled his hands back. "Gregory Lintz, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent." The handcuffs clicked into place around his wrists. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." He pulled Lintz away from the wall and spun him around toward the door. "You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"

"Yes, yes, I know my rights."

"Good. Let's go." Elliot pushed him out the doorway and toward the elevator. Fin and Munch stayed to execute the search warrant.

* * *

Two hours after Olivia woke up, Jay opened the door to her room. She glared at him as he peeked through the door. He didn't meet her gaze as he placed a tray of food on the ground and backed out. The door shut and the lock clicked in place.

_Olivia tried to squirm away, but Jay's weight crushed on top of her. His skin was slick with sweat and his chest heaved. His flaccid member was still inside of her and she felt it twitch as he started to harden again. His arms covered hers, holding her hands against the ground next to her head. His thumbs stroked over the smooth flesh on the back of her hands; his fingers curled underneath to caress her palms. _

_He eased most of the way out, but then slid in again to bury himself in her wet heat. He groaned as her abused muscles tightened around him. Finally, he lifted himself up off of her. Moisture trailed down her thighs as he withdrew and his seed spilled out of her onto the ground. Olivia scrambled away._

_Jay sat back and watched. Just before she managed to get out of reach, he grabbed her by the ankle and pulled her back. Olivia twisted around and kicked out at him. He blocked her blow with his forearm, deflecting her strike to the side. _

"_Let go of me," she insisted, jerking against his hold. Jay did not release his grasp._

"_We're not done yet." He grabbed her hair and pulled her up so her face was an inch from his. "Not by a long shot."_

* * *

Fin walked through the apartment. Lintz was obviously well off; his three-bedroom flat covered the entire floor of a sizeable apartment building in lower Manhattan. The kitchen was sterile and well equipped with white walls and tiles, pristine marble counters and all the latest and best appliances.

One of the bedrooms was set up as an office. A state-of-the-art computer took up one of the corners; the monitor was a giant flat-screen and, on the wall opposite the desk, there was a fifty-inch hi-def television. The next bedroom was guest room. There were virtually no personal effects in that room – only a bed and dresser. The closet was filled with business suits and shoes.

He headed into the master bedroom. The king-sized bed fit comfortably in the center of the back wall with plenty of space around it. The giant bathroom contained a Jacuzzi large enough for three people. Beside the bathroom was another door; Fin went to open it. It was locked.

Fin examined the handle more closely. At first glance, it seemed like a standard handle for a walk-in closet off of a normal master bedroom. After closer inspection, he saw how the mechanism for a deadbolt was worked seamlessly into the knob. The center hole was really a minute keyhole and there were minute, numbered buttons running along the underside of the handle. He rapped his knuckles against the wood. The sound was off, as though there were a plate of steel reinforcing the door. Fin stepped away from the door and two CSU techs approached.

It took them almost twenty minutes to crack the code and pick the lock; the door swung open. Fin and Munch stepped in.

A hose dangled out from the wall nearest the bathroom; it fit through a makeshift hole that had been drilled underneath the bathroom sink. The hose mouth hung over a small bucket, beside which were a bar of soap, a bottle of shampoo, a washcloth, and a toothbrush with toothpaste.

There was a cot pushed up against the side wall; the pillow leaned up against the back of the narrow space. The stained sheets were tangled at the foot of the bed and a blanket draped over the side to rest mostly on the floor. Next to the bed, an old crate had been up-ended to serve as a table, which held a small lamp and a single tome. Munch peered at the title: Tolstoy's _Anna Karenina_ in the original Russian. The edges of the pages were raged and dirty from being thumbed through many, many times. Munch picked it up and flipped through it. The spine was creased from having been left open on several occasions and there were watermarks on many of the pages, dotting the texts and warping the paper. Munch turned the book over in his hands. It was one he had read many time; he flipped through it for a moment then stopped. He read aloud a short phrase from near the top of the page, "О, почему я не умирал? Это было бы лучше!" Fin looked askance at him. "Oh, why didn't I die? It would have been better!" he translated.

* * *

_Wednesday, mid-day_

Jay stepped out of the shower; water streamed down his tight body. One of the servant girls – a new one, by the look of the fresh scars crossing her cheeks – handed him a towel. He took it wordlessly. Mark had seen to it that he'd been provided with clean clothes. The men were not allowed to leave the compound except with either the boss' or Mark's permission, so virtually everything they could need was kept on hand in storage rooms.

He had gotten a chance to explore the compound a bit more. The above-ground warehouse consisted of the main room (where they actually did make gun-chests and sell them for inordinately high prices), a kitchen, and several storage rooms. Behind the main building were two smaller constructions – a garage large enough to house five vehicles and an extra building of storage space. The garage building was locked; cars could only be used for official business or with special permission. By controlling his men's movements, the boss ensured fewer security risks.

Every day, the men took shifts working on the gun chests in addition to the more pleasurable task of working with the women trapped downstairs. Any construction or digging to enlarge the tunnels was also done in-house, so that there was no record of the underground lair.

It was, without a doubt, a large operation. There were approximately twenty men who lived and worked at the warehouse. Between ten and fifteen women were marked as servants and another thirty were in the process of being trained and prepared for sale.

Jay dressed in a plain, white t-shirt and a pair of jeans before leaving the shower room. He wandered down the hall, looking in to some of the rooms along the way. He had a specific destination in mind. He needed to look in on Shauna, but was afraid that if he kept going back to her cell, it would alert suspicion. He meandered slowly, stopping every few doors to leer at the woman inside. Finally, he started to approach Shauna's room.

Just as he neared the door, a man came out. Jay searched his brain, trying to put a name with the face. He had met the other men the night before, but they had all been drinking and he was having a hard time remembering.

"Hey, Jay. How's it going?" the man nodded a greeting toward the taller black man.

"It's good. Timothy, right?"

The man laughed good-naturedly. "Jason," he introduced himself. "You going in to see her?" he asked.

Jay's stomach turned over, but he smiled. "Nah… boss originally hired me to start on Friday, so even though I`m here early, I still don't get my keys till then."

"Tough break," the man sympathized. "When you do get them, you should be sure to pay her a visit." He nodded his head to indicate Shauna's cell door. "That one's a sweet little thing. 'Bout ready to leave here too. I heard some guys from one of our places in Pennsylvania are coming to pick her up on Sunday."

"Yeah?" Jay kept his tone neutral.

Jason shrugged. "That's what I hear. Hey, though… word has it that cop bitch of yours is a fireball. Any chance I could get a piece of that?" He winked.

"Uh…" Jay's mind was spinning. "No, don't think so… boss wants her kept exclusive; she's up at a closed auction on Friday night."

"Damn shame. Oh well… you know how it is around here. What the boss says, goes."

"Yeah, yeah." Jay was not paying attention. Jason said something and turned to leave. Jay stood, staring at the door to his sister's cell. He was afraid to approach, afraid to see her. If the boss was planning to move her over the weekend, he would have to move fast to get access to one of the cars and get her out before she disappeared to some place where he wouldn't be able to find her.

Jay moved down the hallway, away from Shauna's room. He looked in on one of the other women. All he saw was a broken form huddled on the bed, shaking with sobs. Her hair was matted and hung over her bruised face, her fists curled up under her chin, her knees were hugged close to her chest and her eyes were swollen – whether from a beating or from crying, he couldn't tell.

He turned around and headed back toward Shauna. He hesitated several feet back from her door, but pushed through his churning emotions and looked through the window.

Shauna sat perched on the bed. She was naked and her hands rested on the edge of the mattress. Her legs hung limply, dangling midway between the bed and the floor. Her lip was split and a small drop of blood was hovering on her lower lip, about to fall. She stared across the room; she never once looked toward the window to see Jay looking in on her. Shauna didn't cry. She had finally learned the secret to this place – shut up, do what they want, and pretend to like it. Shauna smiled vacantly at the empty room; she knew better now. She would never cry again.

* * *

_Wednesday Evening_

Elliot stepped into the interview room. Cragen and Alex were watching through the one-sided window. Gregory Lintz sat behind the table, his hands resting carelessly upon the smooth, hard surface. Beside him, a high-priced lawyer in a fancy suit peered around like a hawk.

"Mr. Lintz – peeping tom at age 15; arrested at 19 for attempted rape, but the charges were dropped; picked up again for rape at age 24, but subsequently aquitted when the jury thought it was just a case of he-said/she-said. Quite an impressive record you have there, for someone who has never served a day of his life in prison. What happened after 24? You just decide to get your act together?" Elliot sat across the table from him and slid over a photo of the Jane Doe. "Do you recognize this woman?"

Lintz didn't say anything.

"Now, she was pregnant. And DNA says that baby is yours. Can you explain to me how a sixteen-year-old girl wound up pregnant by you? And how she ended up dead and floating in the East River?"

"I don't know."

Fin leaned over the table, pushing his face in front of Lintz's. "'I don't know'? See, now that's not even original. But you want to hear what _I_ know? I know that we've had cops swarming all over your apartment all day, tearing into every detail of your life. We found your private little room and, soon, we're going to find what you used to kill her."

"This is your chance to come clean," Stabler said. "Talk now. Tell us who she is."

Lintz pursed his lips and shook his head.

His lawyer rose to his feet. "Detectives, I think my client has nothing to say to you."

Elliot's phone rang and every eye in the room followed his movements as he snapped it open and brought it to his ear. "Stabler." There was a pause as the voice on the other end spoke. "Alright, thanks." He hung up and looked at Lintz. "Looks like you just missed your chance. We have a lamp with your fingerprints on one end and blood and hair on the others. We have a few more hours before we'll know for sure whether or not it actually matches the victim's. Now is your last opportunity. Start talking."

Lintz licked his lips. He glanced at his lawyer. The man in the suit leaned in for a moment and they whispered. Lintz sat back up straight and looked Elliot dead in the eye. "I have some information. If I talk, I want the charges dropped and federal witness protection."

"'Federal'? This is a New York City case."

"No… it's a little bigger than that." He paused and looked down at the photo. "Her name was Katya. She was smuggled into the US from Russia about four years ago. She came to live with me about six months after she got here."

"How did she come to be with you?"

"I bought her from this man."

"What is his name?"

Lintz squirmed uncomfortably. "I don't know."

Elliot sat back in his chair. Fin pulled away from the table and stood with his arms crossed over his chest. "If you can't give us something," Fin said, "we're not going to be able to do anything for you."

"Look, I don't know a name and I don't know how to contact him. All I know is that he sends out a time and a URL in a coded email. You go to the website and bid on what's for sale. Then he delivers. I got an email just last week."

"Show us."

"No." For the first time, Lintz's voice was firm and resolute. "First I want a deal, in writing. Then I`ll tell you what I know."

Fin and Elliot exchanged glances. They looked back at the one-way window, behind which Alex was watching them. "We'll be back in a moment," Elliot said.

* * *

**A/N:** I'd like to say that the next chapter will be up immediately, but I think the reality of life is that I`m probably looking at a one/two weeks between updates. School and job just work that way. Sorry. In the meantime, I hope everyone is still reading and enjoying.

**As always - Please Review! I love to know what you think about the story.**


	12. Chapter 12

Alex was very careful in her wording as she typed out the plea bargain agreement. Lintz and his lawyer waited for almost two full hours before Fin and Elliot reentered the room. Alex Cabot strode in confidently behind them. She stood over the table and slid a folder across to Lintz's lawyer. The balding, slightly pudgy man reached out and flipped it open. There was an extended pause as his narrowed eyes absorbed the text. He nodded to his client.

Alex leaned forward in her chair, her hands clasped in front of her. "We have the evidence to take you to trial and win. You will stand trial for Katya's murder. That is non-negotiable. There are two parts to this plea bargain. The first is this: you will go to trial and plead guilty to murder in the first degree; you will be sentenced to 25-to-life in a state prison. There need be no mention of how Katya came to be with you, only your testimony regarding her death. This brings us to the second part of the agreement. You say that you have information that could lead police to a human trafficking organization. You will give all relevant information and surrender any evidence you have relevant to this organization. If your information is accurate, then there will be a prison brawl staged on the day that you are transferred to the penitentiary following your trial. We will release a statement that you were killed during intake and you will be entrusted to federal custody."

Lintz nodded. "Sounds good." He took the paper from his lawyer and scrawled his name across the bottom. He rocked back in his chair and smirked at Alex. She took the paper from him and stood.

Elliot sat down in her place. He put a tape recorder on the table and pressed the "record" button. "Start talking."

"I'll show you. Can you bring me a computer?"

Fin slipped out the door to go find a laptop; Alex and Elliot waited in the interrogation room with Lintz and the lawyer. When Fin returned, he was carrying a battered old laptop that looked like it was as old as Munch. He deposited it on the table in front of Lintz.

The middle-aged man powered up the computer and went to his online email account. His smooth hands and manicured fingers danced over the keyboard with the familiarity of someone whose work consisted of keystrokes and meetings rather than any sort of physical labor. Instead of going through the inbox, Lintz clicked on the spam folder.

Just like the spam in almost every email account on the planet, there were dozens of junk emails – how to lose weight, have a more satisfying sex life, enlarge your penis, etc. Lintz scrolled slowly, looking for something specific. He found it on the fourth page – an email from beamorepowerfulman with a generic "Try our new pill for MegaMaleEnhancement!" as the subject line.

He clicked on it and it opened in a new window. Fin and Elliot were both leaning over his shoulder to see the screen.

_DEAR CONSUMER:_

_We would like to interest you in our newest product. THIS IS A SPECIAL OFFER, A NEVER-SEEN-BEFORE DEAL AND ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY! fem4a6ulftblefbnv67qb. runfewltdreftdwjiopleblee. athxlznefhjlttesahiliviagr. Cfi5g9nhejk8tshmji09s. mid24yu036fcshjnsksh. Otg5rtaewyolatk9s57btqtrs. bodtyuisfuckafuytsabl. elarshutjilfutsbyjur. Ithtithssgrjmnismpd6o. nth76svp4s6mafve._

_Buy Now! Become bigger, better, broader, longer! For only 39.95/month, you can have the penis size you've always longed for! Call today and receive a free box of condoms with your order…_

The text continued with more jumbled text – the second paragraph contained more punctuation in addition to the random smattering of letters and numbers.

Fin and Elliot looked up at each other. "What is this gibberish?" Elliot inquired, his voice a tad bit rougher than it needed to be.

"The jumbled letters are a code based on the Fibonacci Sequence," Lintz explained. "Every period marks that the sequence is starting over. You look at the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 8th, 13th, 21st, 34th, etc. letter. The periods are fairly close together, so I`d imagine that this message only uses up to the 21st character before restarting. Doing it that way saves the code from getting ridiculously long. After the 34th, the next number in the sequence would be the 55th and then the 89th. So 21 is a good cut-off point to keep it from getting out of control."

Lintz pulled over the legal pad and pen that were sitting in front of his lawyer. His eyes scanned the page and he counted under his breath as he jotted down the letters. "Female, brunette, athletic, fights, mid 40s, hot, great body. Sale last Fri. this month, 6pm," Lintz read aloud as soon as he had finished decoding the first paragraph. He moved to the second section of scrambled text and used the same method to extract a URL. When he finished, he tore off the paper and handed it to Elliot.

"We'll also need the username and password for your email and any computers in your house."

Lintz scowled momentarily and pulled the paper back toward him. He scribbled the information in a barely legible hand and shoved it back to Elliot. Lintz's lawyer stood and placed one beefy hand on his clients shoulder. "I think that should suffice for now, gentlemen. It is late and my client can speak with you more tomorrow."

Fin took Lintz by the arm as the man stood. "Alright, let's get you to the tombs then."

Lintz looked wildly around at his lawyer.

"Courts are closed for the day. You can't be arraigned until tomorrow morning at the earliest," Alex stated evenly as Fin pushed him through the door.

As soon as Lintz and the lawyer were gone, Alex looked at the detectives. "Take that info down to TARU – let's find out who "beamorepowerfulman" really is."

* * *

_Thursday Morning_

Jay groaned when the alarm went off next to his head. It was 4:30am. He reached over and smacked the "off" button; his movements were groggy and uncoordinated as he stood and started to get ready for the day. There was a shipment of ten girls that had arrived in port last night on a boat from Hong Kong and Mark wanted him to be among the group to break them in when they first arrived.

Jay was upstairs, waiting outside the warehouse in the dark by quarter 'til. Slowly, other men came up the stairs and out the doors to stand beside him. They were all silent; it was too early in the morning for conversation. The sky began to lighten as the clock ticked on toward 5:00. A large delivery truck pulled up in front of the warehouse; its headlights illuminated the group of five men who stood outside in the brisk morning air.

Mark got out of the driver's seat and another man came out the passenger side. They moved to the back of the van and opened the door. Ten girls, ranging in age from about 11 to 20 years old, looked out with terrified eyes. Each of them had their hands tied in front of them. Mark pulled the first girl out and flung her down on the ground. She hit the moist dirt with a soft cry; her fingers dug into the soil as one of the men standing with Jay pulled her up to her feet. She pleaded and tried to pull away. Jay couldn't understand the language she was speaking, but fear is universal and she was shaking with it.

The other girls were also pulled out of the van and slowly they were all herded into the building. The men pushed them down the stairs and into the darkness of the underground corridor. Mark led the group to a large, empty room. They prodded the girls in first and then the men filed in, blocking the only exit. One of the men, Ryan, strode forward and grabbed one of the girls, spinning her around to face him. He held her close by the upper arms and drew her in against his body. She brought her hands up to try to push him away, but he trapped her bound wrists between their bodies.

Jay looked at her face as she begged in her native tongue; she was no more than sixteen years old. Tears streaked down her face as Ryan pushed his hips forward; she could feel his growing erection press against her stomach. Ryan moved his hands down to her waist and lifted the hem of her shirt. She screamed and tried to turn and run away.

Ryan jerked her back and struck her across the face. The other girls were now crying as well as they helplessly watched the scene unfold. Ryan pulled the girl's shirt up over her face and pushed her down onto the ground. She fell heavily to her knees; with her hands bound and her vision cut off by the fabric of her clothes, she was unable to defend herself. Ryan kicked her over backward and she fell prone along the cool ground. She tried to get up, but he planted a foot firmly on her chest and held her in place.

He lowered himself down so that he was kneeling over her. A knife appeared in his hand and there was a collective intake of breath from the other girls as they watched him snap open the blade. Ryan cut first the duct tape that tied her wrists and then sliced through the material of her shirt. He tucked the knife away again, storing it deep within a pocket. His calloused hands moved to the waistband of her pants. The girl pushed at him and fought to knock his hands away from her, but her struggles accomplished nothing. She kicked at him as he drew her pants down her legs.

He caught her by the ankles and pushed them back down into the ground. He sat over her feet and started to run his hands up and down the smooth skin of her legs. She twisted and cried and tried to sit up, but he just pushed her back down again. He stroked her calves and slowly moved up to her thighs. The girl trembled as he teasingly moved toward her center only to change course again and dip around the outside of her thighs to move up and grope her ass.

Ryan slid forward and spread out on top of her. She was still fighting, her tired arms flailed about his face and chest as she struggled. He held her down with a single hand at her throat and his other hand reached between them to loosen the zipper of his pants and free his manhood. He rubbed his head against her entrance; finally she stopped struggling.

She stared up at him, her eyes wide and wild with fear. Her mouth formed words but no sound came out. Ryan grinned and pushed himself through her tight gateway. He paused and then looked back at the other men. "Lucky me; I got a virgin!" He turned back to the girl beneath him and released a feral growl as he nudged against the barrier of her hymen. He pressed his lips down over hers and thrust forward, tearing into her. He swallowed her screams of pain as she thrashed under his body and he impaled her over and over again.

* * *

_Thursday, Early Afternoon_

Jay stood under the flowing water in the steamy shower room. They had been in the room with the new Asian girls for hours. Every single one of them had been raped at least five times, each time by a different man or sometimes two at once. Jay thought back to when the 11-year-old had been pushed toward him by one of the other men. Her thighs were caked with the blood of her innocence and the semen of strange men. Her dark braids were slowly coming unraveled as one man after another pulled and pushed her, controlling her body and forcing her to take them. Jay had shoved her to her knees and wrapped her braids around his fists as he brought her toward him.

She choked around him and her whole body shook as he pushed his way down her throat. She threw up afterward and Jay hit her for it; her small body was rocked with the power of the blow and she spun around and fell to the ground at the feet of another man. The man lifted her up and pushed her against the wall. She was so small that it hardly took any effort at all to hold her in place as he drove into her.

Jay turned off the water. The servant girl crouched in the corner leapt to her feel. She saw his angry, brooding mood and rushed to bring him a clean, warm towel. Jay snatched it out of her hands without a word. He dried himself roughly and then wrapped the towel around his waist to make the journey down the hall to his room.

He dressed and went to the kitchen to get a plate of food for Olivia. He probably should have fed her earlier in the morning, but he hadn't realized that he would be so long in "welcoming" the new girls properly.

He silently cracked open the door to Olivia's room and slid the plate inside. He set a tube of antibiotic ointment next to the dish; the gunshot wound on her arm was healing well still, but it never hurt to be too careful. Jay just barely peeked around the door; he didn't want to have to deal with her at the moment, but it was his job to make sure she was well.

She was asleep; on hand curled underneath her cheek and her hair fell across her face, almost covering the deep bags under her eyes. Jay frowned; he should have expected that she would not be sleeping well. He made a mental note to get some drugs to slip into her food that night just to make sure that she was well rested and the circles under her eyes gone before the next day.

He had not spoken to her in two days; not since that session in front of Mark and Shauna on Tuesday.

"_We're not done yet." His hand tangled in her hair, pulling her toward him. "Not by a long shot." He released her and stood, tucking himself back into his pants and buttoning them shut. "Get up." Olivia did not move. "Now!" Still nothing. Jay reached down and closed one hand around her wrist, yanking her upward. He squeezed and felt her bones scrape against each other as he tightened his grip. Olivia grimaced, but did not make a sound. Jay pushed her toward an empty stretch of white wall between the shelves that held all the toys. There were D-rings anchored into the wall at various points._

_He shoved her so that her back hit the wall and stepped in. He pushed her arms up over her head and tied them so that her hands were pinned next to each other about six inches above the top of her crown. Olivia bucked her hips forward and, by a stroke of luck, managed to throw Jay off balance. He stumbled backward and Olivia brought both her legs up simultaneously. For a moment, she hung suspended by her wrists as she drove both feet straight into the center of Jay's chest. He wheezed as the air escaped from his lungs. _

_Olivia's victory was short-lived. Her expression turned to one of horror as the sharp snap of leather on flesh echoed in the room. Shauna screamed. Olivia looked over; Shauna was tied in the center of the room with her arms above her head and her feet anchored to the ground a foot or two apart. Mark had a leather strap in his arm and was preparing to strike again. He stood behind Shauna and snapped his wrist upward. The belt cracked against Shauna's sex and she writhed in pain as she screamed. Mark struck her three more times as Shauna screamed and Olivia pleaded for him to stop. The strap wrapped around each of her inner thighs and slapped down across her tender breasts. _

_After the fifth blow, Mark looked at Jay. "Please continue."_

_Jay growled as he rushed back at Olivia. He slammed his body against hers and Olivia felt the wind temporarily knocked out of her chest. He kicked her legs out to the side and bent to tie them to other D-rings on the lower wall. Olivia gritted her teeth; that would have been the perfect opportunity to kick him again, but she couldn't do something that would cause Shauna to suffer for her actions. _

_Jay backed away from her and went to pull something off the shelf. He walked back to stand in front of Olivia and pulled a tripod out of the long, narrow casing. He set up a video camera pointing straight at her face. Olivia balled her hands into fists. _

_Jay was not finished yet. He made one more trip over to the shelves; he slipped something into his pocket and tucked a small item into the palm of his hand. He marched directly over to Olivia; his hand was balled around whatever he was carrying and she couldn't see what it was. Then he reached down between her legs and pushed the unknown object inside her. As his hand slid against her core, he felt her whole body shaking as she strained futilely to close her legs. The powerful muscles of her inner thigh vibrated with the effort._

_The object was about the size and shape of an egg and Jay pushed it all the way in until the tip rested against her cervix. He pulled out his fingers, bathed in the evidence of their earlier coupling, and wiped them on his pants. Jay stepped back and positioned himself behind the video camera. "You are going to say exactly what I tell you to and nothing else," he commanded. "If you screw this up, you know what will happen." He nodded back over his shoulder to indicate Mark and Shauna. Olivia pressed her lips together tightly and nodded. "Oh and, just to make things more interesting…" _

_Jay reached into his pocket and pulled out a remote. He pressed a button and Olivia felt a slow, steady vibration begin deep within her. She jerked and pulled against the ties that held her in position against the wall, but to no avail. She tried to push the thing out of her, but it was securely lodged in her tight passage, trapped between warm and sensitive walls. She bit her lip and swallowed hard. Jay put one hand on the camera and told her what he wanted her to say. Olivia desperately ignored the heat pooling between her legs. After he finished giving her directions, Jay said, "You can start whenever you're ready." He turned on the camera and Olivia looked straight at the blinking red light. _

_

* * *

_

**A/N: A question was asked in one review about why Jay is being so cruel now when he was more gentle earlier in the story. I answered the review, but then I thought that I should perhaps clarify in an author's note for everyone to see. **

**Jay did not have anything to prove to Harris and he was never in any danger. Now that he is with Valenti and Mark and the other traffickers, any perceived weakness on his part could be extremely dangerous. He needs to play the role of the vicious, heartless rapist in order for them to trust him so that he can get his sister out. He is essentially acting as a puppet now, doing what is expected of him whether he likes it or not. Notice that every time he is acting extremely cruel, there are other traffickers there watching him. But also keep in mind that, though he does have a gentle side, he has already said that he will do virtually anything to accomplish what he has set out to do. **

**I just wanted to clear that up a bit. Jay's story is nowhere near over and you will continue to see him develop and hopefully he will even surprise you a bit. I`m going to stop there because I don't want to give anything away. **

**Please review!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

_Thursday Night_

Olivia jolted awake when she heard the door open and footsteps enter her cell. Jay stood silhouetted in the doorway and a flicker of movement behind him suggested that someone else was with him as well. Olivia shivered and shifted self-consciously. The hem of her NYPD t-shirt had ridden up her abdomen while she slept, exposing most of the flesh from the base of her breasts down to where the sweatpants nestled around her hipbones. She tugged the shirt down and faced the entrance. The second man moved up beside Jay; their bodies crowded the doorframe. He flicked a switch on the outside of her cell and the space was flooded with a sudden rush of light. Olivia brought her hand up to shield her eyes as she blinked against the harsh glare. She had been trapped in the room, alone and in the dark, for the better part of two days.

Mark stepped into the room; the sound of his footfalls echoed in Olivia's ears to compete with the pounding drum of her own heart. The cacophony was overwhelming and Olivia scrambled to get down off the bed and on to her feet. She pressed her back against the wall; her palms flattened against the smooth, cool surface behind her. "Stay away from me." Olivia had intended for her voice to come out even and confident. Instead, her words shook and lacked the steady timbre that usually marked her speech.

Mark snorted a short laugh. "You'd better get used to people being… _close_ to you." He stepped in, closing the distance between them. Olivia had no more room to back up. Mark reached out and stroked her face. His fingers traced from her brow down her cheek to hold her face by the underside of her jaw. "You should count yourself lucky that the boss has special plans for you. I`d love to have you here for a few months so that the two of us could get better acquainted."

Olivia brought both of her hands up away from the wall and planted them in the center of Mark's chest. She shoved. Mark fell back a step or two before recovering his footing. He snarled angrily and came toward her again. Olivia turned her face away and brought her arms up to protect her head as she anticipated the blow that never came.

"Mark," Jay spoke quietly from the doorway. "The boss is waiting."

That simple phrase was enough to pull him to a sudden halt. Mark froze an inch away from Olivia; then grabbed her by her wrists. "Come on," he ordered. He turned toward the door and tugged Olivia after him. Olivia's eyes darted around as they stepped out into the hallway. Mark led the way down the corridor. Olivia trudged behind him and Jay fell into step after her. Olivia felt him at her back and shivered in disgust.

_After she had said everything he wanted her to say for the camera, Olivia fell silent and waited for him to turn it off. Instead, Jay took out the remote again. Olivia felt the soft vibration inside her jump to a roar and her hips twitched of their own volition. "No, no, no, NO!" She twisted and pulled helplessly against the restraints that held her against the wall. Jay walked out from behind the camera; the red "recording" light was still flashing. _

_Olivia followed Jay with her eyes as he approached her. Beyond him, she could see Mark staring; his eyes hungrily devoured the scene before him. Shauna hung limply in her bonds, her gaze focused on some spot at her feet. Jay walked around to the side, never crossing between Olivia and the camera. Olivia swallowed hard and forced herself to find a steady voice. "Stop this. Stop it now." Jay gave no acknowledgement that he had heard her. _

_The heat within her core was rising and Olivia closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as she fought the irresistible urges pulsing inside her. Jay knelt before her and placed his hands on her thighs. Olivia's eyes flew open. "NO! No, stop! Please don't! Please stop this – don't touch me! No, no, no!" Her voice rose in a crescendo as she pleaded._

_Jay's strong hands ran up and down her inner thighs, massaging her in some areas and tracing lightly over the places where she still sported bruises. Olivia strained against the ties around her wrists and ankles. Her body thrummed with the effort. Jay offered no reaction, but continued to stroke her legs and inner thighs as she worked herself into exhaustion. _

_Olivia thrashed and pulled, twisted, turned, and strained, but all to no avail. Finally she went limp and her head hung down in shame. Her eyes were closed and Jay glanced up at her face. Tears glistened along her eyelashes, but did not fall. Her eyebrows knit together, her lower lip was caught between her teeth, and her breathing was heavy. Jay snaked his fingers up to gently caress her folds. Olivia's breath caught in her throat and she tried again, uselessly, to pull away from him. _

"_Please…" she whispered, "Please don't…" _

_Jay leaned in and his tongue sought out her heat. _

_Olivia's head rolled back against the wall and she whimpered as Jay expertly teased her with his mouth. Where she had earlier felt nothing but pain between her thighs, now Jay was igniting a fire. He trailed wet kisses up her skin and Olivia shivered as the moisture evaporated off of her. He explored her with unexpected tenderness and Olivia felt her back start to arch as her hips pushed forward to seek release. Jay's hands guided her to him; he reached around to grip her at the juncture of her upper thighs and lower bottom. His fingers kneaded her flesh, pulling her against him as he continued in his task. _

_Olivia was struggling to regain control of her breathing; every inhale was a gasp and every exhale was something between a whimper and a moan. "Stop." The word somehow scraped out of her throat. "Please, no." The pleasures rocking her body took control and Olivia closed her eyes as she was overwhelmed by sensation. The word that clung to her lips as she reached her climax was a long, drawn-out "No" that continued to echo in the room even after Jay removed the vibrator and pulled away from her._

Mark stopped abruptly in front of one of the doors. Olivia was so lost in her own tormented thoughts that she nearly ran into him. He turned the knob and it swung easily open. He pushed Olivia inside first, then he and Jay followed.

It was the same room that Jay had been in earlier that same day, when the Asian girls had arrived. It had been cleaned since then; the smell of sex, blood, and sweat was gone and the floors glistened with the look for having just been cleaned. In the center of the room, the boss sat causally in a chair with no arms. His tailored suit was crisp and pressed and an emerald tie was clipped neatly in place. At his side crouched the youngest of the new arrivals. The eleven-year-old wore only a collar around her neck; a leash attached to it snaked up to rest in the boss' hand. She was curled with her knees drawn up to her chest as she vainly tried to cover herself. She stared at Jay with wide, terrified eyes and he felt his stomach knot in self-loathing. He looked away from her.

Mark shoved Olivia forward into the room. He turned to lock the door and he and Jay positioned themselves in front of it, blocking the only exit from the room.

Olivia's gaze had focused on the little girl from the moment the door had opened. Mark grinned as he slouched back against the door and watched her. _The boss is the master manipulator_, he thought,_ I can't wait to see how he works her._

Valenti remained casually posed in his chair. He absent-mindedly stroked the young girl's hair as though she were a dog he was fond of. The girl's frightened eyes sought out Olivia's, pleading with her – begging her – for help. Olivia had none to give. She was as helpless and powerless in this situation as the child naked, collared and leashed, and crouched on the floor.

"Let her go." Olivia somehow managed to project a modicum of authority into her command. She knew before she spoke that they wouldn't listen, that she was most likely playing straight into their hands. It didn't matter. She had to try.

Valenti's hand stilled momentarily, but then resumed petting the long, thick, straight, black hair. "Come here." His words were ice and they brooked no room for argument. Olivia did not move. Valenti waited; he would not repeat himself. She would come to him sooner or later, if only from the vain hope that she could help the girl at his feet.

Several minutes passed. Nobody in the room spoke and the only movement was the steady and methodical brush of Valenti's fingers through the Asian girl's hair. Finally, Olivia took a single, halting step forward. Her gaze locked with the girl's as she moved toward Valenti's chair in the center of the room. She stopped a few feet away.

Valenti did not rise from his seat or even tilt his head to look up at her.

"Let her go," Olivia repeated.

Valenti looked up at her and their eyes met for the first time. Olivia felt his icy gaze plunge into her, scarring every aspect of his being. The glassy green orbs showed nothing but cruel emptiness. He was a predator without a soul; a vicious hunter toying with his prey. "Allow me to make something very clear for you, Ms. Benson." His hand never broke its methodical rhythm as he spoke. This voice was clear and succinct, with only a hint of an accent. The malice behind the words, however, made it sound like his tongue was scraping along an ill-maintained road – crunching the gravel underneath and spitting it out at her. "You have no authority here. You have nothing to bargain with, nothing to offer me that I cannot already take. You live by my command and you can very easily die by my command."

Olivia refused to be intimidated, though the reality of his words chilled her through to the bones.

"You will do as I say or you will be punished. If you think that you can resist whatever punishment I see fit to give you, think again. I can find victims you have helped in the past. I will bring them here, one by one, and you can watch them be raped a hundred times before I grant them the mercy of death. I could even make you pull the trigger. I could kill everyone you have ever loved and everyone who has ever looked at you with even the slightest affection. And I would make you watch. I could bring in your partner, Elliot Stabler, and his whole family. I could make them do things to each other. He has a daughter at Hudson University, correct? She might do very well here, if you chose not to obey me."

Olivia's face betrayed nothing overt, but Valenti watched the microscopic tells that flitted across her features. Her lips twitched for an instant, her hands began to flex into fists before she stopped herself, her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared in anger. Valenti remained impassive; he knew he had gotten to her, at least for now.

"Kneel."

Olivia was struggling to control her emotions. She could feel violent sobs swelling in her chest and fought to push them back. Bile rose in her throat as she mentally wrestled with the threats he had made, trying frantically to think of a way out.

"I do not like to repeat myself. Either you will get on your knees and do as I say or I will have her do it." He did not specify and Olivia did not need to ask who the "her" was that he was referring to. The young girl was still trapped beside him as he ran his fingers through her silky mane. Olivia's eyes darted to her and took in the bruises, the scrapes, and the eyes swollen from crying.

Olivia bent her legs and allowed herself to sink to the ground in a single motion that cried out of despair. The sweatpants provided only minimal relief from the cold tile beneath her. She lifted her head to face Valenti as her heart pounded in her chest.

"Blow me," he ordered. It was what she had expected to hear, but Olivia still flinched at the words. She scooted forward the remaining distance. His legs were relaxed and spread casually open. Olivia moved in, hating herself more with every passing second. Valenti made no move to unzip his pants; he merely watched her, his eyes calculating as he absorbed her fear and revulsion.

After an extended pause, Olivia tentatively reached forward with one hand to undo the button of his pants. She bit her lip and closed her eyes as her fingers fumbled to pull down the zipper. He was only semi-hard when Olivia's hand first brushed against him through the remaining layer of cloth. She found the opening in the boxers and drew him out. Her hands were cold with fear and his erection faltered as she touched him.

Olivia met his gaze again and, for the first time, Valenti saw the tears that welled in her eyes spill over to roll down her cheeks. "Please… no." Valenti did not relent but merely waited for her to continue. The girl beside him whimpered and tried to shift away from him, but Valenti tugged on the leash and she stilled under his hand.

Olivia's mouth was dry as she leaned forward to take him into her mouth. She ran her tongue along the base of his shaft, coaxing him to full hardness. Her hands gripped the edge of the chair and her knuckles whitened as warring emotions tore through her. She slowly moved her head up and down. Her throat was choked by fear and she couldn't take more than a few inches of him into her mouth. This was not about sex, she knew, nor even about his pleasure. It was about his power and her domination. It was about his ability to not only control her body but also to manipulate her will.

Valenti released the girl's leash and disentangled his fingers from her hair. She scrambled away. He cradled Olivia's head between his hands and massaged her scalp as her warm and supple lips slid over his manhood. He felt her swallow hard in fear. A little gentleness to go along with threats of violence could go a long way and he knew that his actions were both confusing and terrifying her. Valenti smiled as he felt her hot tears fall to mingle with her saliva coating his shaft.

* * *

_Late Thursday Night_

It was nearing midnight before Elliot got home. The house was quiet and dark as he silently slipped past the kitchen and headed for his and Kathy's bedroom.

"Elliot."

He turned toward the voice. Kathy turned on a lamp. She was sitting on the living room couch in her pajamas, a blanket thrown over her legs. Elliot walked over to sit beside her. He balanced on the edge of the couch and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. Kathy hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder, unsure is he would be willing to accept the gesture of comfort. When he made no move to shake her off, Kathy started to rub soft circles over his broad shoulders and back.

"Has there been any word?" Kathy inquired.

Elliot shook his head. "It's been almost a week. I talked to Homicide this afternoon, they've got nothing. Absolutely nothing." _Harris knows where she is. He _has _to know. But that bastard is sitting nice and comfy in a jail cell and not giving up anything. He is the only way we have right now to find her and he won't talk. He would rather spend the rest of his life in jail than take any of the plea bargains Alex has offered him if only he would tell us where she is. _

Kathy felt his muscles tense as he curled his hands into fists. He was practically shaking with impotent rage. Kathy didn't know what she could do to help him. She leaned over and pressed her cheek against his shoulder as her hand continued to make lazy circles across his back. Elliot loosened his fists and flexed his hands. He pressed his palms together and bent his head so that his lips rested against his forefingers. He stared out from the small ring of light created by the lamp into the darkness of the room.

They sat together, unmoving, long into the night.

* * *

_Friday Morning_

Alex was at the 1-6 surprisingly early. She was leaning against Elliot's desk when he walked in at seven am.

"How did it go?" When he had last seen her yesterday afternoon, Alex was heading to the courthouse to get a subpoena for the internet records needed to trace "beamorepowerfulman."

Alex pursed her lips and shook her head. She started to talk as Elliot went over to pour himself a cup of coffee. "Yesterday we got a subpoena for Lintz' service provider to try to trace where the email came from. That got us as far as an internet server based in Italy but I'd need to get another warrant to try to get information from them. And you know how ISPs are – they will fight a subpoena for months before turning over any information. And half the time they win. Trying to go after a foreign-based internet company is going to take a while."

Elliot took a sip of the scalding liquid. He had bags under his eyes and his shirt was slightly rumpled. The cuffs of his sleeves were undone and pushed back halfway up his forearm. He looked like every bit of a man who had not seen a full night's sleep in a week. "So we've got nothing."

"Not quite," Alex said. "I was talking to Morales yesterday when I was trying to get information to present the subpoena request and he thinks that he would be able to trace it if he had a live connection."

"Today is the last Friday of the month. So according to the email, this guy will be online and active at six tonight…" Elliot paused and rubbed his forehead. "I'll go talk more with Morales and get this thing set up. Fin and I will have to go talk to Lintz later and see if there is anything else we need to know for tonight." He set his coffee down and started to head to the door. "Oh, thanks, Alex," he called over his shoulder.

Alex smirked. "No problem." The smile faded rapidly when she glanced at her watch. She would have to rush to get the courthouse tombs on time. She had a meeting scheduled with Harris and his lawyer to offer him yet another plea deal in exchange for his telling where Olivia was. Alex sighed as she shouldered her bag full of legal briefs and made her way out to the bustling city street.

* * *

**A/N: I have received concerns as to Olivia's well-being after all this is over. In my other story, I got lazy and just kind of dropped off the ending. I won't do that here. When/if Olivia is rescued (I can't give a way upcoming events), I will make sure that things work out the way they should. Can't say any more at this point. **

**Over the past several chapters, I`ve been including bits and pieces of what happened on Tuesday as flashbacks/dreams. How does this work for you all as a literary element? Do you think it breaks the flow of the present too much or is it good to have that trauma revelation spread out rather than clumped together in one big chunk?**

**Please Review!  
**


	14. Chapter 14

_Friday Morning, 8:00am_

Jay peered through the window into Olivia's room. The sedative-laced food he had delivered the night before was untouched. Olivia was sitting on the bed, leaned against the wall with her back to the door.

"How's she doing?" Jay had been so focused on watching Olivia that he hadn't heard the footsteps approaching.

"Doesn't look like she's slept much," Jay said as he turned to face Mark. "Or eaten," he added as an afterthought.

Mark frowned. _She needs to sleep. Whoever buys her will want her well rested for the night. We could just force her to take the drugs, but the boss was concerned that if we're too heavy-handed with her, she might break and then she'd just be useless at auction. And the clubs don't pay half as much as private clients do. Plus, they would see her being a cop as an unnecessary risk rather than an added thrill. _Mark's mind raced through the business side of things before he concluded, _we need a way to get her to relax and sleep or at the very least she needs to eat or drink something with a sedative without us pushing it down her throat. _

He motioned Jay aside and took his place at the window. He observed the dejected curve of her shoulders and the protective way in which she had curled her legs up to her chest. _This one is close to breaking_, he thought. _The boss brought her down a peg or two the other day, but it might have been just a little too much for her. We need her to show some fire tonight to intrigue the clients…_

"Come on, I've got an idea." Mark turned away from the window and led Jay down the hall to another cell. Inside was the young girl who had been witness to the boss' manipulation of Olivia the previous day. "Grab her," he told Jay.

Jay unlocked the door. Mark had presented him with his own set of keys first thing that morning. He stepped inside the darkened room. The girl was curled up underneath the bed. Her shaking frame was tucked back into the farthest corner as she tried to hide. It didn't matter – the shuddering rasps of her breath gave her away. Jay reached under the bed and dragged her out by her upper arm.

She was naked; she had been naked since the first man had ripped her clothes off to rape her when she arrived in this hell yesterday morning. She begged in words that Jay could not understand as she stumbled after him toward the door.

Jay yanked her through the doorway and out into the hallway. Mark raked his eyes over the young body, his gaze appraising. "Hold her still," he ordered. Jay took her by the shoulders and held her back against him. The top of her head only came to about shoulder-height.

Mark continued to stare at her, mentally cataloging her bruises and scrapes. Without warning, he slapped her hard across the face. Her head jerked to the side and she cried out. He struck her again and her lip split open. In anticipation of the third blow, the girl turned away, tucking her chin down to her collarbone. Mark grabbed her by the hair at the sensitive nape of her neck and jerked her head back up to face him. He hit her a few more times until she stopped trying to resist. Jay held up her dead weight as she slumped in his arms. "Keep her here, I`ll be right back."

As Mark's footsteps faded down the hallway, Jay loosened his grip on the girl's arms. She slumped to the ground at his feet and trembled as she wept. But she made no attempt to get up and run, so Jay just stepped back and let her cry. They were still like that when Mark returned. He threw an oversized t-shirt at the girl and she pulled it quickly over her head, thankful have something to cover herself with. "Let's go." Jay tugged the girl up to a standing position. She sniffled as she tried in vain to stop the tears that streamed down her face. He pushed her ahead of him as Mark led them back toward Olivia's room.

Mark opened the door and pushed the girl inside before closing it and locking it.

"What's that about?" Jay nodded toward the now-locked door with his head.

"You pegged it the other day," Mark said. "'Her spirit comes from her ability to protect others.' So I`m giving her someone to protect for a while."

* * *

Olivia tensed when the door opened and she heard someone walk in. She didn't want to turn around. But then she heard the crying.

The girl had sunk down to the floor with her back pressed against the door and her hands up covering her face.

Olivia slipped off the bed and went to crouch beside her. There was a sharp intake of breath as she sensed someone nearing, but the girl's eyes remained closed. "Hey," Olivia said. Her voice was soft, quiet and comforting and she reached out carefully to brush her fingertips against the girl's shoulder. "It's okay. It's just us here."

The girl might not have understood the words, but Olivia's tone was reassuring and she looked up. Her eyes were red and swollen and she looked at Olivia with an ineffable hopelessness. A series of words poured out from her mouth, but Olivia couldn't understand any of it. She shook her head slowly to indicate her lack of comprehension. The child's shoulders sunk and her head dropped down to stare at the floor.

Olivia gently touched her under the chin, nudging her face back up to look at her. "Olivia," she said as she pointed to herself. "I`m Olivia." She pronounced her name slowly and clearly and then waited.

"Olivia," the girl repeated. Then she gestured to herself. "Lynn."

"Lynn," Olivia smiled. "That's a beautiful name." She had a dozen questions for Lynn, a hundred things she wished to be able to communicate. The language barrier was just plain frustrating.

While Olivia tried to think of some way to talk to her, Lynn made the first move. Olivia started when she felt the warm, soft hand touch her face. Lynn's fingertips outlined the fading bruises with a gentle and hesitant touch. Olivia closed her eyes for a brief moment and then, when she reopened them, she reached out to cradle the girl's face in her hand.

Lynn's skin was soft and smooth, though a trail of moisture from her tears still dampened the skin. A single drop rolled down as Lynn's scared eyes sought Olivia's and looked for comfort. Olivia brushed her thumb over the tear and wiped it away. Lynn tried to smile and her split lip cracked farther open. She reached up to touch her lower lip and then stared at the blood that came away on her fingertips.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up some." Olivia stood and offered her hand to Lynn. The girl took it and pulled herself to her feet. She let Olivia lead her over to the small sink. Olivia picked up the washcloth that was draped over the edge of the sink and held it under the running water for a moment. She squeezed the excess out and dabbed gently at the cut on Lynn's face. After the bleeding stopped, she tenderly wiped away the grime of the last few days. Lynn's eyes were watery but her expression as she started at Olivia was one of trust.

When Olivia moved to put the washcloth down, Lynn's fingers closed lightly around her wrist to stop her. Olivia paused. "What is it?" she asked.

Lynn gestured vaguely to the region between her legs. She bit her lip with nervousness and the cut started to bleed again. She licked it away with a quick flick of her tongue. Lynn's hand trembled as she reached to take the washcloth from Olivia. As soon as the detective had relinquished her grasp on the towel, Lynn pushed it down between her legs and started to scrub herself roughly. She winced in pain and her eyes screwed shut, but she did not stop the aggressive motion.

Alarmed, Olivia put a hand on her arm. "Stop, stop," she said, her voice a little anxious. "You'll hurt yourself."

Lynn dropped the towel onto the floor in frustration and the tears started to pour down her cheeks again. She stumbled toward the bed and ducked underneath to hide in the shadows as she wrapped her arms around herself and sobbed.

Olivia watched her go and then bent to pick up the cloth. She ran it under the water for a while to clean it and then carried it over toward the bed. Olivia crouched down beside the bed and beckoned Lynn to come out.

Lynn sniffled and then slowly inched her way toward Olivia. She sat awkwardly straight beside the older woman for a moment and then relaxed and leaned into her.

Olivia's breath caught in her throat as the young girl curled up next to her, half in her lap. Lynn clutched at the fabric of Olivia's t-shirt and Olivia brought one arm up to wrap around the girl's shoulders in an embrace. The washcloth dangled in her other hand, temporarily forgotten.

Several minutes passed and Olivia felt the moisture of Lynn's tears seep through her t-shirt and onto her skin where the girl's head rested against her shoulder. After a while, Lynn uncurled her fingers from Olivia's shirt and made a half-hearted reach for the washcloth. Olivia offered it to her, but she pulled her hand back and shook her head. Olivia could feel her trembling.

Lynn shifted her legs slightly, opening them just the tiniest bit and Olivia understood what the girl was trying to communicate. She needed to be clean, but she couldn't bring herself to do it on her own. Olivia carefully turned toward her and touched the washcloth down very lightly on Lynn's leg. She flinched and Olivia froze immediately. Lynn squeezed her eyes shut and her face was contorted for a moment as she wrestled with her emotions but then she gave a jerky nod to signal Olivia to continue.

Olivia moved her hand in slow circles; she was careful not to apply pressure on the girl's bruised skin. Blood and semen had mingled together and dried on Lynn's thighs. Olivia tried to be as gentle as possible as she worked to remove the evidence of the trauma Lynn had faced. Lynn tensed and buried her face again in Olivia's shoulder.

When it was over, Olivia threw the cloth away from her and pulled Lynn up into her lap. Lynn wrapped her thin arms around the woman's neck and cried as Olivia cradled her and made quiet, soothing noises. "Shh, shh," she whispered, "I`m sorry. I`m so sorry." Olivia held her close until the small frame in her arms finally stopped shaking and was only disturbed by the occasional hiccup.

Olivia didn't know how long they had been sitting there when a sudden grumble surprised them both. Lynn pulled away from her, embarrassed, and looked down at her stomach – the source of the unexpected noise. Olivia shifted her aside so that they could both stand and led her to the foot of the bed, where she had placed the tray of sandwiches that Jay had brought her the previous night.

"Here," she said, "have something to eat." Olivia picked up one of the sandwiches and handed it to Lynn. She took it, but didn't eat. Olivia reached for another one and brought it up to her own mouth. She took a bite. "See? It's fine." Lynn watched her and tentatively nibbled at her own sandwich.

Once that first bite of food hit their stomachs, both Olivia and Lynn realized how hungry they were and demolished the rest of the sandwiches in record time. Soon afterward, Lynn got up and crawled into the bed, pulling the sheets up over her head. Olivia stood and paced, trying to shake off the sudden exhaustion. She tried to keep her eyes open. She needed to stay awake to watch over her young ward. But finally the tiredness started to overcome her and she went to lay down on the very edge of the bed, not wanting to disturb Lynn.

She still fought to stay awake, even as her eyelids started to drift closed of their own accord. Lynn sighed and rolled over to snuggle up against Olivia. She kept nudging over until Olivia was pushed almost all the way to the edge. Lynn was facing her; her knees curled up and pushed Olivia's hips back until they were practically hanging off the bed. The top of her head fit comfortably underneath Olivia's chin.

Olivia shuffled around for a moment, trying to reposition them to rest more in the center of the bed. Soon the sound of Lynn's slow, deep breathing eased Olivia into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

**A/N: Short chapter, but slightly quicker update than I`ve been able to do lately. Enjoy!**

**Please Review! Let me know your comments, critiques, suggestions, predictions, criticisms, etc...  
**


	15. Chapter 15

_Friday Afternoon, 3:30_

Olivia woke up slowly; her heart was pounding and her thoughts disoriented. A warm body pressed against her. Olivia looked down to see Lynn still curled at her side. The child's face was relaxed and peaceful; confident in her safety at this woman's side. That thought terrified Olivia. Lynn's hair was strewn haphazardly over her face and Olivia reached with one hand to brush it back and tuck it behind her ear.

The reaction was instantaneous. Lynn woke with a scream as she scrambled away from Olivia. She flew off the bed and raced to the other side of the room; her feet barely touched the floor. She threw herself at the wall, her fingers scratched against the hard surface as she panicked and sought any possible way out.

Olivia's heart jumped in her throat as she realized what she had just done. She approached Lynn slowly, her hands forward with the palms facing outward. "Lynn, Lynn," she called quietly, "I`m sorry, it's okay. He's not here. It's just you and me. I`m so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Lynn beat her fists against the wall as she wailed in a futile rage; her panic was fading but the memory was still strong in her mind.

_The collar was tight against her throat and she couldn't move. The man in the chair held onto the rope and pulled her toward him. She was on her knees, trapped. _

_The door opened and two men walked in – the man who had been driving the van that brought her here from the boat and the black man who had put his thing in her mouth. They had a woman with them. Lynn stared at her; this woman was older than any of the women who had been with her on the boat. She was bruised and tired. Lynn watched as the woman scanned the room. A heavy hand rested on her head and she flinched. The man in the chair started to pet her hair; Lynn wanted to sink into the ground. The woman said something and the man paused. For a brief instant, Lynn felt a flash of hope but it was quashed when she heard the man speak. She didn't understand the words, but his tone spoke volumes. He continued to stroke her hair._

_Whatever he was saying, the woman's face was slowly crumpling from resolution to reluctant submission. She fell to her knees at the man's feet. Her eyes closed. Lynn watched; terrified. The woman was trying not to cry; her voice pleaded with the man whom Lynn had already decided had no soul. The woman reached up and opened his pants, freeing his man parts. _

_Lynn felt a wave of horror wash over her and she tried to move away but the man pulled back on the rope that held her next to him. His hand was still petting her hair. She shook in fear; before today she had never seen a naked man and she had already seen more of them then she ever wanted to. The woman put her mouth on him. Lynn closed her eyes and fought to breathe. The sounds of the woman choking on him and the foul, musky, masculine scent only a short distance away made her want to be sick. _

_The woman's head moved up and down and the man groaned quietly. His hand on Lynn's head finally stopped and moved away and she felt the rope that pulled against her neck go slack. She ran away, retreating into one of the corners of the room. She buried her face in her hands and turned into the wall. The room was completely silent except for the sounds of the woman's mouth moving against the man. _

_Acid burned in her throat and Lynn gulped in shallow breaths of air. She kept her eyes closed and clamped her hands over her ears. She was drowning, suffocating, unable to move or breathe or think. She could feel the ghosts of their hands on her body and the memory of them inside her. _

It was like witnessing a car crash in slow motion. Olivia watched as the sudden panic faded to shuddering sobs and then heaving gasps for breath. Lynn leaned her forehead against the wall as she tried to regain control of herself.

Olivia eased closer to the girl, not wanting to scare her anymore than she already had. "Lynn?" Olivia knelt on the ground behind her. She wanted to reach out to the girl, to comfort her, but she was afraid that her touch might do more harm than good. "Lynn –" Olivia was about to say "It's alright," but she swallowed the words before they left her mouth. She couldn't promise that. Even though Lynn wouldn't understand the words regardless, Olivia could not promise to protect her when she knew that she was powerless to do so.

"I`m here for you," she finally said. "I`m here for you as long as I can be." Though the words were foreign, Lynn heard their meaning and turned to face Olivia. She reached out to her and the two of them embraced. Olivia hugged Lynn to her, her arms folding protectively around the slim frame. "Shh, shh," she soothed. "I`ve got you."

"Well, isn't this sweet." Mark's voice broke over them like frigid water.

Olivia's head whipped around to face the door; Lynn's shot up and peered over Olivia's shoulder. Neither of them had heard Mark open the door. He stepped into the room. Olivia got to her feet. Lynn started to stand, but Olivia placed a hand on her shoulder, urging her to stay down. Lynn crouched in Olivia's shadow as the woman stood to face Mark.

"What do you want?" The iron was back in Olivia's voice.

Mark smiled inwardly, though his expression gave away nothing. "Come with me," he ordered. Olivia didn't move. Mark pulled the gun from his waist. He pointed it at Lynn, who was peeking her head out from behind Olivia's legs. "Do you really want her blood on your hands?"

Olivia grit her teeth. Her narrowed eyes flashed at him and she flexed her fists, keeping them impotently at her sides. Mark wanted to laugh – this was beautiful.

Slowly… reluctantly but deliberately, Olivia walked toward him.

He waited until she was almost within arms' reach before he stepped around behind her and held the gun to the back of her heard. Lynn whimpered softly as they walked out the door and Olivia's step faltered as she crossed the threshold. "She'll be fine as long as you don't make any trouble," Mark assured her.

Olivia knew better than to trust him, but there wasn't much she could do. He guided her to the shower room and escorted her inside. On the floor next to one of the shower heads were shampoo, conditioner, soap, and a razor. Olivia stood in the entrance to the room and didn't move.

"Get yourself cleaned up," Mark commanded. He noted how she eyed the razor. She was probably already thinking of how she might use it to secure her escape. "You even think of trying anything and that little girl back there will pay for it."

Olivia moved as far away from him as she could. She picked up the bathing supplies and brought them with her to the corner shower where she had bathed last time. She faced the wall and glanced hesitantly around behind her. Mark was standing boldly in front of the open door; his eyes followed her every move. Olivia turned back to the wall and swallowed the fear that was rising in her chest. She reached for the hem of her shirt and slowly drew it up over her head. She tossed it behind her, far enough away that it wouldn't get wet when she turned on the water. Next went the pants. Olivia pushed them down over her hips and stepped out of them. She couldn't turn around; didn't want to see Mark leering at her. She threw the pants back to where the shirt lay crumpled on the floor.

Olivia bathed quickly, keeping her back to Mark the entire time. Tears stung her eyes, though she told herself stubbornly that she must have gotten shampoo in them. She propped first one leg and then the other against the wall as the razor cut through the soap and water to leave a trail of silky skin in its wake. Her whole shower was barely three minutes long; all she wanted was to finish and be able to put her clothes back on. When she reached to turn off the water, though, Mark's voice stopped her.

"You're not done yet," he said. "Shave all of it." Olivia froze.

"No," she whispered.

Mark sighed. "When are you going to get it?" he asked. "You can do it yourself or I will have you tied down and waxed." He really didn't want to have to do that. Sometimes wax left the skin red and irritated for several hours and he needed her to be ready in less than two.

Olivia glared at him. "Fine." She turned back to the wall and lathered some soap between her legs. The first several passes of the razor scraped roughly over the sensitive skin and Olivia's vision was blurred by tears. After she finished, Mark tossed her a towel and she hastily dried and redressed.

Mark leaned his head out the door and called for Ryan. A man swathed in black from head to toe appeared in the doorway. "She all ready?" he asked. Mark nodded. Ryan came over and grabbed Olivia by the arm and together he and Mark escorted her out of the shower room and down the hallway.

* * *

Jay slipped quietly down the hall to Shauna's room, a shirt and extra pair of pants in his hand. The boss was preparing for the auction and Mark was tasked with getting Olivia ready. This was the best chance he would get.

The key slid in and he turned it in the lock. Shauna's door swung open. Shauna looked up at him, her eyes glazed over. Jay felt a pang in his heart. It would take her a long time to recover from this but he was going to make sure she got that chance.

"Come on," he said as he stretched out a hand, beckoning her toward him. She slowly got to her feet; it was as though she were moving through molasses. Every moment stretched on and every movement felt foreign as though escape had been so far from her mind that she didn't know what to do now that it was becoming a reality. Jay gave her the clothes and she dressed wordlessly. He led her out the door of her cell and into the dim hallway.

She clutched Jay's left hand; his right hand gripped a pistol equipped with a silencer that he had picked up earlier in the afternoon. Most of the men did not regularly carry weapons with them in the compound, but there was a fully stocked arsenal for whatever errands they might be sent on.

Jay led the way down the hall and peered around the corner. The main hall was clear – a straight shot to the stairs and through the warehouse to freedom.

Shauna crept after him, barely breathing. If they were caught now, both of them would die terrible deaths. The fear was overpowering. "No, Jay," she whispered. Her brother turned to look at her, confusion scrawled across his features.

"What do you mean? This is our only chance."

"They'll kill us." Her whisper was barely audible. "Please… the boss will…"

Jay shook his head. "Come on. Stay with me and keep quiet." He tugged gently on her arm and rounded the corner.

They didn't see anyone until they appeared on the main floor of the warehouse. Jay came up the stairs and peered over the stack of wood that hid the entrance from view. There were three men lounging around and drinking beer in the cool of the evening. They were relaxed; enjoying the fresh air and smell of sawdust as the sun lowered in the sky. Jay readied his gun: three men, three silent shots. They were dead before they even realized they were under attack. Jay led Shauna out the main door and toward the woods. The cars were still locked up and Jay didn't want to waste the time and risk exposure trying to break in and hotwire one of them. Their chances were better on foot. All they needed was to get far enough away from this place and find a road where they could hail down a car to phone the police.

Shauna trembled as her bare feet absorbed the sensation of grass underneath. She lifted her face to feel the soft rays of the sun. But there was no time to relish these simple pleasures now. They had to keep moving. Shauna pressed close to Jay as he led her into the deep shadow of the forest.

* * *

Elliot and Morales were sitting in front of a computer, waiting for 6:00. Munch had gone home for the day. Fin was sitting at his desk and reviewing about one of their cases that was up in court on Monday morning. Alex was in Cragen's office sharing with him her unsuccessful day of trying to pry information out of Harris.

Elliot leaned back in his chair. Lintz had warned them that they would not be able to bid hardly anything. "He monitors who is online," Lintz had said as he wrote down his log-in information. "He knows who has money to bid and who doesn't. It costs $200 just to watch the sale. The most I`ve ever put down is $150K as an offer, so he would get suspicious and possibly kick you offline if you take it much higher than that."

At precisely six o'clock, Morales typed in the URL and hit enter. A blank page came up, requesting his log-in information. Morales entered it and, while the load-bar slowly crossed the screen, he opened a tracking program in a separate window and prepared to trace the originating location.

Elliot nearly fell over backwards. "Captain!" he called out. His chest was constricted and he had to force the words out. "It's Olivia." For a single microsecond, everything in the room froze and then, less than a heartbeat later, the whole squad was peering over his shoulder at the screen.

Olivia's arms were drawn up above her head with her hands above the camera frame. A healing bullet wound was visible on her upper right arm. The bruises that covered her face and neck were in various stages of healing. The bottom of the frame was just low enough to show the swell of her bare breasts.

Olivia stared out from the computer screen into the 1-6 for several seconds before she finally spoke. "My name is Olivia Benson. I am a detective with the Manhattan Special Victims Unit." She quietly explained what the SVU squad did and what sort of crimes they dealt with. Her eyes were locked on something or someone behind the camera. Though her voice was calm and even, her eyes were steel and ice.

Elliot's voice was hoarse with choked emotion as he glanced at Morales. "How long will it take to get a location?"

Morales shook his head. "It could be a while – they've rerouted the signal to just about everywhere they could think of and there are a dozen firewall protections that I`ll have to crack. But I`ll get it."

Alex's hands curled around the back of Elliot's chair as she leaned in. Olivia's body jerked forward, pulling away from the wall. "No, no, no, NO!" she screamed. Her eyes were no longer looking behind the camera; they were following someone's motion around to the side. Olivia's eyes dropped down to look at something below the range of the camera. Alex saw the muscles in her throat tense as she tried to find a steady voice. "Stop this. Stop it, now."

Whoever she was talking to obviously had no inclination to listen to her. Olivia ground her jaw and her arms strained to pull down. Her eyes squeezed shut as though she could no longer bear to face the world around her or the unfeeling lens that captured her every move. A second later, her eyes flew open again, wide with panic. "NO! No, stop! Please don't! Please stop this – don't touch me! No, no, no!"

The SVU squad watched in horror as Olivia fought her way into exhaustion and then hung limp. They had all seen videos of rape before; images of torture and cruelty captured for some psycho to enjoy at his leisure. But this was different. This was Olivia. Every single one of them was consumed by their anger and outrage.

Alex couldn't breathe. The microphone on the camera barely caught Olivia's quiet whisper: "Please… Please don't…" Then Olivia raised her head up again and Alex saw how the woman was straining to breathe, panting to pull air into her lung. Olivia clamped her lips shut to keep from screaming; she whimpered through her closed lips.

Alex's mouth opened slightly in shock as she realized what was happening. "Is that…? Is she…?" she couldn't bring herself to say it but once Alex spoke, all the men realized what was going on as well. They were all shocked into silence as Olivia was pushed over the edge into an orgasm.

The screen faded to black but it seemed like Olivia's panic-stricken face was burned onto the monitor as it was seared into their minds. Elliot pushed away from the desk; the screech of the metal chair legs scraping against the tile was the only sound in the aftermath of what they had just seen. He walked over to the lockers and slammed his fist against the door. It didn't work so he tried again, throwing his weight into the punch as he imagined he were fighting the invisible man who had taken Olivia. The metal bent under his rage and his knuckles started to bleed.

"Elliot," Cragen called him back over. Elliot shook off his hand, ignoring the ache and the fact that bruises were rapidly forming. The black screen was gone and once again they were looking at Olivia through a camera's eye.

She was alone in a large, white room. There was no door visible, so Elliot guessed that it was on the wall behind whoever was filming. She was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a navy-blue NYPD shirt. The parts of her that were visible – her face and arms – still had a few bruises on them that were mostly in the yellow, mottled stage of fading away. Olivia paced along the back wall, occasionally lifting her gaze to the camera and the people behind it. Fury rolled off of her as she paced – fury and frustration. Elliot had worked with her and walked alongside her enough to know what her different strides signaled about her mood.

Morales had connected a secondary monitor and was using that to run the trace while the others watched what was happening on the main screen.

Two men, dressed in all black, stepped out from behind the camera. They stalked toward Olivia, their postures menacing. Olivia stopped her pacing and tensed, ready for a fight. She took up a position about five feet away from the back wall – close enough to it that they would not be able to get behind her without her noticing, but far enough away that it would take some effort for them to push her into it. She anchored her feet shoulder width apart; her knees were slightly bent and her arms hung loose at her sides.

The men approached her, one from each side. Olivia kept her eyes on them, waiting for one of them to make the first move. The man on her right reached out for her and Olivia grabbed him by the wrist. She swung him around, pulling his arm up between his shoulder blades. He bent at the waist to try to alleviate the pain and the other man used this moment to rush at Olivia. He swung at her over his compatriot's bent form. Olivia ducked underneath his fist and shoved the man she had been holding so that he stumbled into the other one, knocking them both off balance. Olivia turned and ran.

For the briefest moment, Olivia disappeared from the computer screen. Then there was a scream and a third man in black dragged Olivia back to the center of the room. He had one arm locked around her neck and the other pinned down one of her arms. The first two men had risen back to their feet and moved to join Olivia and the other man in the center of the room.

Together, the three men forced Olivia down to her knees and drew the shirt over her head. Olivia struggled and screamed but they held her down while they exposed her bare chest. Next they pushed her flat against the floor and pulled the pants off of her. Olivia kicked out and felt the satisfying crunch of someone's nose breaking under her heel. One of the men pulled away, his hand up over his face as he fled off-screen.

The other two pulled Olivia up to her feet. She tried to use her arms to cover herself but they pinned her limbs to her side. The camera came closer to her, shaking slightly as it was carried forward. Olivia turned her face away as the lens stared at her. One of the men grabbed her hair and twisted her head so that she was forced to look straight at the camera. Olivia steeled her expression and lifted her gaze. She raised her chin in defiance as the camera held steady on her face.

That image froze on the screen and a pop-up window opened on the side of the monitor:

**Beamorepowerfulman: Open $500,000.**

Within seconds, the bids were up to 575 and then 600. There was no way to see who was bidding – all that was shown were the numbers as the bids went up and up.

"You have the trace, Morales?" Cragen's voice was hard.

"Almost. I just need another five minutes and I should have it," Morales answered.

The bidding was at 750K. Elliot watched as the numbers increased, his expression pained. "Captain, we have to do something," he pleaded. Cragen nodded. Elliot's fingers typed in the numbers "800,000" and he hit enter. Another, higher bid appeared a second after his. Elliot prepared to start typing again when the screen went dark.

Morales switched from his monitor back to the primary one. He tried to refresh the page, but all he could get were "Error 404: Page not found" messages. He went back to the second screen. "Lintz was right – we just got booted from the site. But I think I still have enough to pin down a location… Just give me a few more minutes…" His fingers flew across the keyboard.

The next five minutes stretched into eternity. Finally, Morales lifted his hands from the keyboard in victory. "I`ve got it!"

Elliot leaned over and looked at the address that was flashing on the screen. "That's in upstate New York," he said. "Only about three hours from here."

Cragen nodded at him. "Alex, go find a judge and get us a warrant. Elliot and Fin, I`m going to get a chopper and the three of us will go up there. Call the local L.E.O.s and let them know that we are coming and to have S.W.A.T. on standby. Morales, see if you can find out who any of the other people on that website were. We need to know who was looking at it and who was bidding. Alex, we'll need a warrant for that information as well."

_Friday Night, 7:30_

The trip from the city to the warehouse had taken Jay the better part of a day as he ambled in one direction and then another, waiting for Mark to text him with directions. There was no going slow now. Cragen slid into the passenger seat and directed the pilot where to go, telling him to land away from the warehouse so they could work with SWAT to coordinate their approach. The chopper took off. Elliot and Fin's eyes met across the dark cargo area – they were only a little over a half-an-hour's ride from the warehouse… and Olivia.

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**A/N: I should NOT have been working on this... I had a test this morning and have papers due later this week, but instead of working I've been writing ff... *sigh* Well, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know you have all been looking forward to Olivia's rescue... it may be coming soon, as you can probably guess... although I might be mean for a short while longer first...**

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	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Please notice that I made a slight change to the end of the last chapter. Fin, Elliot, and Cragen get in the helicopter at 7:30, not 8:30 as previously stated. Also, this chapter goes back a little to cover events earlier in the evening. Keep in mind the time frame on different events happening.

* * *

_Friday Night, 5:15_

Valenti looked around the room. Everything was set up. Olivia paced along the back wall as his men bustled around the computer equipment and cameras. A few minutes earlier, she had tried to make a break for the door while they were paying attention to setting up the equipment. It was a useless gesture. She had not even gotten to the door before two of his men caught her and pushed her back. Valenti's sharp eyes scanned the room; there was one person missing.

"Mark." His second-in-command was at his side in an instant.

"Boss?"

"Jay should be here. Send someone to go find him."

"Yes, sir." Mark nodded curtly and turned aside to delegate the task to two of the other men. They hastily left to do Valenti's bidding.

They returned just before six o'clock. Their pace was hesitant and fearful as they approached Mark to give him their findings. Mark didn't even turn to look at them, but continued what he was doing as they gave their report. "Mark? We looked for the new guy, but couldn't find him."

"Did you check to see if maybe he's in one of the women's rooms?" Mark's tone was mildly belittling as he pointed out the obvious place to look.

"Yes, and he's not there. One of the girls is missing though and," the man swallowed, "we looked upstairs. The guys on guard duty are all dead."

Mark's shoulders stiffened and he turned slowly. His face was granite. "Show me."

Valenti had not heard the conversation, but he saw Mark get up and exit the room with the other two. He frowned; something must be seriously wrong to cause Mark to leave right before a live auction. Valenti turned back to the computers and signaled that it was time to start. Mark would inform him of what was going on when he returned.

* * *

_Friday Night, 6:00_

They sat by the side of the road, waiting for a car to pass. Shauna had not said a word since they left the compound. Her feet were bleeding from walking over the rocks and sticks and thorns that littered the ground. Jay had tried to give her his shoes, but she refused to take them. They would have been too big for her, regardless.

A mini-van approached. Jay stood and walked out into the road; he waved both arms up above his head. He licked his lips, suddenly dry with fear, as the vehicle came towards him. _What if they don't stop?_ he thought,_ or worse – what if they are the boss' men out looking for us._

Shauna whimpered as the van sped toward her brother. She couldn't tell if they were slowing or not. Jay continued to wave his arms in the air.

The van slowed to a stop. A middle-aged couple was in the front seats; the man was driving. Jay held his hands up, palms outward, as he walked around to the driver's window. The last thing he wanted was for them to think he intended them harm and drive off. Shauna crept up the embankment and peered up at the car. The driver lowered the window just a few inches.

"Please, we need help," Jay's voice was cracking with emotion. The couple looked confused at the term "we." "My sister is hurt and needs to get to the hospital." He gestured over to where Shauna was crouched.

The woman started to open the door, but her husband reached out to stop her. He obviously was less trusting and – considering that they were stopped in the middle of nowhere talking to a strange man – perhaps rightfully so.

"Shauna," Jay called out; she slowly got to her feet.

The woman saw the slightly emaciated form, the violent bruises, and the bleeding feet. She gasped and flung open the door. "Benjamin, call the police!" she said as she raced toward Shauna.

"No!" Jay interjected. Both the man and woman shot him a questioning look. Jay was breathing heavily, terrified that they might get so far only to be dragged back to the boss. "The men who hurt her are very powerful and probably have most of the local police in their pockets. Please…" Jay saw the luggage piled in the back seat of the van. "You are travelling – take her away from here before you call for help. Across state lines if you can… Call the FBI, not local police. The feds will be able to take care of her."

The woman reached out to Shauna, but she shook her off and went to Jay, tucking herself against his side. She looked up questioningly at him. She had just realized that he was talking about sending her away. "Jay?" she asked. "Aren't you coming with me?" The man and woman in the car looked like they agreed with her.

Jay closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. He shook his head and pressed his lips against her forehead in a protective kiss. "No, Shauna. I need to get you away from here, to somewhere where you will be safe." His voice was so low that the couple in the car couldn't overhear what he was saying. "I think these are good people. Go with them and they'll take you to the police. I have to go back."

Shauna pulled away from him. "No," she pleaded. "Don't leave me."

Jay was resolute. He looked at the driver; the man was getting out of the car and walking toward them. Jay had tears glistening in his eyes. "Please." The whispered word was barely audible but the man heard it.

"Come with us, Shauna." The man repeated the name he had heard Jay use. "We will take you to get help." He looked at Jay, still not sure as to why this man was sending his sister off with complete strangers. Jay swallowed hard.

Shauna clung to Jay, her fingers grasping at his shirt. "No, no, no…" Jay gently untwined her fingers and she brought her hands up to cover her face. "Don't go." Her chin dropped down to her chest and her hair fell down to cover her face.

Jay knelt in front of her so that he could look up at her. "Shauna," he soothed. "Shauna, listen to me. I know that I have not been the best brother; I know that I haven't always been there for you. These past months… I did what I had to do to find you and get you safe. I`m not proud of the things I`ve done and I don't want you to remember me as the man you saw in that place. That woman you saw me with…" The words "the one I raped" were on his tongue, but he didn't say them. It didn't matter. They both heard the phrase as though it had been shouted. "It is my fault she is there. I have to get her out too."

"Where do I go?" Her shoulders trembled.

"First go with these people; they will take you to a hospital and then to the police. The police will help you get home to your family." Jay had never been so thankful for the fact that she had been adopted and had a place to go even now that she was past the age for foster care. "Then you go back to your life – to school to finish your degree and do whatever you want with your future."

"What about you?" she whispered. Jay felt his heart wrench in his chest. He got to his feet and Shauna lifted her head to meet his eyes.

"I`ll have to go to prison for a while," he said matter-of-factly. "I`m not going to run from what I've done anymore. I`m going to go back and try to make things right. And when I get out, I will try to be the brother you deserve."

Tears rolled down Shauna's face as she embraced him. Jay could feel the thin bones beneath her skin dig into him as she clung tightly. He leaned his cheek down against the top of her head. They breathed together for a moment before he pushed her away. "Go," he ordered. He gently pried her away from him and nudged her toward the van. Benjamin and his wife had watched the exchange in silence, though they couldn't hear anything.

The woman helped Shauna climb into the car and buckle in. Benjamin looked at Jay. "You should come too," he said, "for her."

Jay shook his head. He couldn't speak. He backed away from the car, down off the road. He watched as the van drove off and then turned and disappeared into the woods, back the way he came.

An hour later, he found himself at the edge of the road that went to the warehouse. Jay crouched behind a tree; his hand gripped the gun he had brought with him. He reached into his pocket with his left hand and felt the other three clips nestled against his thigh. They would be moving Olivia tonight. They would have to take her out along this road. And when they came by, he would be waiting for them.

* * *

_Friday Night, 7:00_

The cameras shut off. The bidding was over. Olivia's heart was pounding and there was a strange ringing in her ears. _This isn't happening. This can't be_. Nothing felt real. There were bodies crushing up against her, pushing and pulling as they clamped restraints around her wrists and ankles. She barely felt them; it was as though she were watching this happen to someone else. She was standing at a distance, unable to move or speak as the men locked a leather belt around her hips. There were two rings set in it, one on each side, just behind her hip bones. They brought her hands down and joined the metal links on the restraint cuffs to the band at her waist.

Olivia pulled helplessly against them, trying to move her arms. There was nothing she could do. It wasn't until someone slipped a blindfold over her eyes that Olivia snapped back to bitter reality. She threw her head forward, jerking the blindfold out of the man's hands as he tried to tie it behind her head. Someone grabbed her in a headlock, looping an arm around her neck from behind. Olivia tried to bring her hands up, to fight him and pull him away from her throat, but the cuffs around her wrists kept them secured at her waist.

They pushed her down to her knees and someone held her head still while another wrapped the cloth around her, robbing her of her sight. "No, no, no…" Olivia repeated the word as a mantra.

The multitude of bodies around her dispersed and Olivia felt suddenly cold and exposed. She turned her head this way and that, but couldn't see anything. She couldn't move her arms, couldn't fight back. A single pair of hands grabbed her upper arms and hauled her to her feet.

Olivia's chest was tight and her breathing labored. The hands that had pulled her upright moved to hold her by one arm and another person grabbed her other arm. They pulled her forward and she stumbled after them.

They led her out into the hall and up the stairs. Olivia tripped over the first stair before she realized they were there. At the top of the staircase, she stumbled again as her foot sought the non-existent next stair and she fell to her knees on the warehouse floor. One of the men escorting her yanked her back up to her feet and shoved her forward. They led her past the bodies of the dead guards and out the main door.

Gravel crunched beneath her feet. The cool air bit at her skin through the thin fabric of the t-shirt and Olivia shivered. She heard metal groan as the back door to the old van opened. A hand on her back shoved her forward. Her legs bumped against the lip of the van. She stopped but the hand behind her pushed her forward and she fell onto the metal floor.

With her hands pinned at her sides, there was no way to brace herself. Olivia twisted slightly so that she landed on her shoulder. A cry escaped her lips. She had reflexively turned to fall on her right side and had forgotten about the still-healing bullet wound. The tender flesh of her upper right arm sent a jolt of pain through her in protest of the impact, but it faded almost immediately to a dull throb. She heard footsteps against the floor as someone climbed into the back of the van with her.

Olivia kicked her legs, but they met nothing but air. Someone pulled her forward, farther into the van. She twisted frantically, but could not escape their grasp.

Hands grabbed her flailing legs and pinned them to the ground. Olivia emitted a guttural growl as she tried to pull away. The restraint cuffs around her ankles were clipped together and then connected to something in the center of the floor. Olivia could move her upper body, but her legs were pinned and immobile. She twisted around to position her back up against the side of the van and managed to worm her way up into a sitting position. She could hear movement in the van around her, but couldn't tell how many there were or where they were in relation to her.

The engine started. Olivia caught her breath and tensed to keep her balance as the vehicle lurched forward; it pulled away from the gravel and dirt in front of the warehouse and up onto smooth pavement.

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	17. Chapter 17

Mark drove down the long driveway that led out to the main road. He spotted a glint in the bushes a split second before he heard the gunshot. The van jerked to the side as the front right tire blew out and Mark guided it over to the shoulder. The back door flung open. Mark and the other three men got out of the van and crouched behind it.

Olivia felt the rush of fresh air as the door opened and heard the men get out. "Help! Help me!" The door slammed shut but she continued to yell. There was a volley of gunshots and a few bullets pierced the side of the van. Olivia curled up on the floor, tucking her head down by her knees in case any of the bullets decided to ricochet inside the van. In a few moments, there was silence. The driver's side door opened and one person climbed into the van.

Mark started the engine. He glanced back at Olivia. "Somebody tried to be a gentleman and come rescue you."

Her heart caught in her throat. _Who found me? Surely even Elliot would have known better than to come on his own. Who then? If the cops knew where I was, they would have brought a whole team and blocked off the roads. Who else would even know where to start looking for me? God, who else would care?_

"Doesn't matter, though. It looks like he's still alive, but not for long. The other boys are taking him back to the boss." Mark continued. "There is no rescue. Not for you." He laughed and it was not a pleasant sound. "Not where I`m taking you."

* * *

Fin grabbed Valenti by the lapels of his jacket and slammed him against the wall. "Where is she?" The helicopter had landed just after 8:00 and fifteen minutes later, SWAT, SVU, and local law enforcement raided the warehouse. They had searched the facility but Olivia was nowhere to be found – either among the living or the dead.

Cragen stood in the hallway, directing people as the EMT's brought out first the surviving women and then the bodies of those Valenti had had killed before the police arrived. The Feds were on their way in and would be taking over the case. In the meantime, however, Cragen allowed Fin and Elliot to take Valenti into one of the side rooms to question him about Olivia's whereabouts.

One dislocated shoulder and several nasty bruises later, Valenti finally spoke. "Stop, stop. I want a deal."

"We'll make sure to put a good word in with the Feds if you help us."

"Get me a sworn statement in writing from your captain and then we'll talk."

Fin disappeared out into the hallway for a moment and Elliot glared at Valenti. The murderous rage that boiled inside him was almost too much to bear, but he knew that Valenti was their key to finding Olivia.

Cragen walked in and scrawled a statement on his notepad. Both Fin and Elliot signed underneath him as witnesses. "There, a formal request for due consideration if you lead us to Detective Benson. Satisfied?"

Valenti smiled. He could just give them the address, but it would be more entertaining to personally watch as they found her. "Let's head back to the city, gentlemen. With any luck, we might even get there before she arrives."

* * *

It seemed like forever before they stopped. Mark pulled over on the side of the road and climbed into the back of the van. Olivia shuffled away from him, but he pinned her easily against the floor of the vehicle. He grabbed a loose piece of cloth out of his pocket and shoved it in her mouth before securing her lips shut with duct tape. Olivia screamed into the foul-tasting fabric in protest.

"I don't want you causing any trouble," Mark warned as he made his way back up to the driver's seat.

A while later, the car stopped and Mark turned off the engine. "We're here," he said. He got out and came around to the back. He connected a short chain to the restraint cuffs on her ankles before unlocking her from the floor and dragging her out.

Olivia's throat was dry as Mark pushed her down to her knees. She had no way to know how long they had been in the van. The air was musty and smelled of dirt and gasoline. The floor beneath her was smooth and cold, like the glossy floor of a garage. Mark's hands were heavy on her shoulders and she could hear someone else approaching. She strained her eyes to try to peer out from underneath the blindfold, but couldn't make anything out.

She heard the other person stop about a foot in front of her; she could feel the body heat radiating toward her. A hand reached down to grip her by the chin. Olivia jerked her head away. There was a brief, though distinct, chortle of amusement followed by a flash of pain as the unknown man struck her across the face. Behind her blindfold, Olivia saw stars. If Mark's hands had not been gripping her shoulders, she would have fallen over from the force of the impact.

"Tell your boss I`m pleased." The voice was young. It raised the hairs on the back of Olivia's neck. "Bring her."

Mark pulled Olivia to her feet. The short chain that snaked between her ankles barely gave her enough room to walk and she was forced to do an odd sort of shuffle as he pushed her through the dark maze of whatever building they were in. They came to a staircase and only Mark's firm grip on her arm kept her from tumbling down the unseen corridor. He threw her over his shoulder and carried her down the steps as though she weighed no more than a child. Olivia heard a door open and then close behind them. Mark stopped abruptly and dropped her on her back in the middle of a soft bed.

Olivia yelled, but the sound was muted. She tried to roll onto her side and maneuver into a sitting position, but someone shoved her back down. She kicked out with both legs, but met only air.

"She is a feisty one, isn't she?" The same voice from before now had a note of icy amusement. Someone grabbed Olivia's left wrist and she felt the click as the cuff released.

She jerked her arm back, but the unseen hand maintained a tight grip. He dragged her arm up above her and cuffed her wrist to the headboard. Olivia pulled sharply against it and the cold metal bit into her wrist. She felt the warmth of a body leaning across her to repeat the process with her right hand, locking it in place about a foot away from her other hand.

"Thank you. You may leave now."

Olivia heard the door open and then close again. She felt a wave of panic rising in her chest. She couldn't speak, couldn't see, and couldn't move. She felt his hands brush over her stomach and reach to undo the belt to which her hands had been tied. He tugged it out from underneath her and Olivia heard it hit the floor as he threw it aside. He reached behind her head and untied the blindfold.

Olivia blinked as the light exploded into her eyes. After hours in darkness, the sudden brilliance was overwhelming.

Olivia squinted as her pupils adjusted to the glare. The room was narrow – barely seven feet wide and more than twenty-five feet in length. The queen-size bed was pushed up against one of the narrow walls on her right side and the headboard was flush against the wall, leaving only a small gap at the foot of the bed. The door was situated on the far corner, located in the wall at her feet and all the way to the far side of the room. There was a single dresser midway along that same wall; all of the drawers were secured shut with combination locks.

"Look at me," the voice ordered. The man standing above her appeared to be no older than his mid-thirties. He wore a tailored suit that enhanced the defined lines of his broad shoulders and steady jaw. His grey eyes watched her carefully from behind expensive glasses and the fingers of his right hand mindlessly fidgeted with the Rolex on his left wrist. There was a noticeable bulge pressing out against the fabric of his pant.

He shrugged off his jacket and tossed it on the ground. His fingers moved to his cufflinks and Olivia's eyes followed them. The long, slender fingers were manicured and free of calluses. He rolled his sleeves over and brought his hands up to loosen and pull away his tie. The tie joined the jacket on the floor and his dexterous fingers released the top button of his shirt.

"You are mine." His shirt was half unbuttoned now and Olivia could see the pale but well-defined abs beneath. "You are mine and mine alone. No other man will ever see you or touch you again." He finished the last button and the shirt fell away. He reached out to caress her cheek and Olivia uttered an inarticulate sound into the gag. "You belong to me. You will call me 'Master' and you will obey me completely. If you refuse, you will be punished." He brushed his fingertips against her brow before reaching to undo his belt buckle. His pants dropped to the ground and he stepped out of them, kicking his shoes off in the same motion. Now he was wearing nothing but a pair of black, silky boxers that were stretched tight over his erection.

The man stroked himself as he looked at Olivia. He watched her for several minutes, making note of the combined fear and stubborn resistance that burned in her eyes. He removed the gag and Olivia swallowed several times in quick succession to alleviate the parched roughness that covered the inside of her mouth.

He slid his boxers down and straightened, completely nude. He was far larger than any man Olivia had ever been with and he was throbbing with need. His hand gripped his member and started to lazily pump up and down. "You do not get the pleasure of feeling me inside you until you ask for it." He eyed her appraisingly. "And believe me – no matter what you might be thinking right now, before sunrise you will beg for your Master's cock."

He climbed up onto the bed. Olivia brought her knees up to her chest and twisted her hips away from him; curling awkwardly on her side. "No," she whispered, too low for him to hear. She felt his hands on her hips; he slid his fingers under the bottom of her shirt to rest his palms against her bare skin.

Olivia flinched and pulled away from him. "No!" she exploded.

The reaction was instantaneous. "What did you say?" he asked; his voice even and deadly. The man drew his left hand up all the way over his right shoulder and swung downward in a powerful blow.

Olivia's head snapped to the side and she tasted blood. She tilted her head upward and to the side and spat to clear her mouth of the iron tang; a spray of tiny, red droplets showered the white sheets. She turned back to face him. "I said 'no.'" Her jaw was firm and unwavering, her eyes clear and her mind set.

She saw the flash of searing rage contort his face for an instant before he regained control of his emotions. He smiled and that sight made Olivia's stomach churn. "You will learn not to say that to me. I think it's time for your first lesson." Before Olivia could react, he grabbed her ankles and yanked her legs out straight. He sat over her calves and pulled the waistband of her sweatpants down her thighs.

"No, no, no!" Olivia twisted and turned, throwing her body from one side to the other in an attempt to dislodge him.

A lock of hair fell haphazardly over his forehead as he looked up at her face. "Shut up," he hissed. He drove a fist down into the flesh of her stomach and Olivia jerked as her body tried futilely to double over. She gasped in a ragged breath. "Shut up before you make this worse for yourself." He twisted around and unlocked the cuffs around her ankles, then pushed the sweatpants the rest of the way off her legs. He leaned forward, still pinning her legs down beneath him, and shoved her shirt up. He bunched the fabric around her shoulders and chin, completely exposing her torso. As he leaned over her, Olivia could feel the primal heat of his erection burning into her skin. She shuddered and bit her lower lip.

Then suddenly he was gone. His weight lifted up off of her and the cool air rushed over her body. Olivia heard his footsteps pad away from the bed and she turned to follow him with her eyes. He unlocked one of the drawers and pulled out a whip.

Olivia shrieked as it whistled toward her; the man's aim was perfect and the first flick landed the tip directly on her breast. Olivia turned her body toward the wall, tucking her head under her left arm as she struggled to move. The most she could manage was to have her shoulders vertical, facing away from him, with her hips twisted all the way down so that her butt was exposed rather than the more sensitive area between her legs. The next strike wrapped around her side and an angry welt immediately jumped to the surface. It wasn't until the sixth blow that he broke skin. Olivia heard the whip whistle through the air and felt it slice into her flesh. She was screaming without words as he continued to rain his anger over her back and legs. _Ten… thirteen…seventeen…_ Olivia lost count around twenty-four. Her voice tired before his arm did and she lay there, biting her lip and wincing in anticipation of each blow as he struck her defenseless body over and over again.

Finally he stopped. He threw the whip down and grabbed Olivia by the shoulder, wrenching her down so she lay flat on the bed again. Olivia swallowed her cry of pain as the fresh wounds came in contact with the sheets. The man got up into the bed and pushed her legs apart. "Tell me you want me." It seemed that beating her had only increased his desire. He was swollen with lust and looked like he was on the verge of exploding already.

Olivia said nothing. She stared at him with fury burning in her gaze.

The man planted his right knee alongside Olivia's inner left thigh. He pushed her right leg out to the side and wedged his ankle inside her knee. He was in an erect kneeling position, towering over her prone body. One hand went to his erection and his fist started to glide up and down the hardened shaft.

He looked at her face and their eyes locked. He kept his gaze on her face as he bent slightly and his fingers found her slit. He pushed a single finger inside and used his thumb to massage the bundle of nerves nestled above her opening. Olivia was the first to break eye-contact; she closed her eyes and turned her face to the side.

He pushed another finger in and then a third, stretching her as he pounded his hand against her. Olivia's chest heaved with deep shuddering breaths, but she kept her eyes closed. His breathing was becoming ragged and he increased the pace, shoving his fingers into her and then pulling them almost all the way out to smash into her again.

The man groaned and his body jerked as his seed shot out to land on Olivia's stomach. She shivered in disgust as the hot liquid hit her skin and immediately started to cool.

He was breathing heavily and he watched her with satisfaction, his fingers still buried inside her. His other hand drifted forward almost lazily and he dipped his thumb in the moisture that was pooling in the dip beneath her ribs. He brushed the pad of his thumb across her right nipple and watched it harden. He simultaneously twisted his fingers inside her and watched her hips jump in response.

Olivia didn't move, didn't say anything. She vainly sought refuge in the darkness behind closed eyes, but it didn't help. There was no escape from the horror, the pain, and the humiliation that was rushing over her in waves.

She heard him get up and immediately pulled her legs back together, locking her ankles. There was a rustle of fabric as he pulled his boxers on and then a scrape of wood moving against wood as he opened another drawer and rifled through its contents. Olivia didn't want to look.

He walked back over to the bed and smacked her on the thigh. "Did I say you could close your legs?" Olivia didn't respond. "Be a good girl. Spread your legs for your Master," he coaxed. When she still didn't move, he shoved a hand between her thighs and wrenched them apart. He planted himself between her legs so that she couldn't close them again. Olivia finally opened her eyes. She looked down. There was a sheen over the taut flesh of her stomach where his seed was drying onto her skin. He was pulling on a pair of white latex gloves. There was a small box resting on the bed next to her leg.

"You are going to have to learn to behave." He pulled the glove over his hand and the latex snapped against his skin. Now with both gloves on, he picked up the box and opened it. He pulled out a small pepper, about three inches long by an inch wide, and held it up for Olivia to see. "Do you know what a ghost pepper is?" He did not wait to see if she would answer, but continued. "This is the hottest peppers in the world. In India, they rub it on fences to keep elephants away because it is one of the few things strong enough for the beasts to feel through their thick hide. It's also the primary ingredient in most pepper sprays and some police forces around the world use them as non-lethal projectile weapons to bring down criminals and terrorists. It's illegal in the US, except for in certain restaurants that have to have a special license. It has to be handled separately from other food and only by qualified chefs who are wearing gloves to prevent skin contact."

He dangled the pepper only a centimeter from her nipple. Olivia stopped breathing, afraid to move. He traced it down her body, always keeping it just barely above her skin. His free hand reached down between her legs and parted her folds. He held the pepper above her, turning it in his fingers as he watched her. "I`m going to give you a choice." His hand lowered slightly and Olivia's breath hitched. "You can choose. Either you beg me to fuck you any way and every way that I want or we can see what this pepper does when it's shoved all the way up inside you." He placed the pepper back in the box and removed the gloves. "You can have an hour to think about it." He moved forward, hovering over her on his hands and knees. Olivia felt him harden again. He bent his head down to her neck and nipped the sensitive skin. He licked over the red marks he had just created and Olivia shivered. "When I come back," he breathed, "I want you to be a good girl. Be on your best behavior for your Master and maybe I won't hurt you anymore tonight." His warm breath tickled, but his words chilled her.

He sat back up and suddenly yanked Olivia's shirt back down over her chest. She arched and caught a scream in her throat as the fabric scrapped over the broken skin on her back. Then he twisted around and tugged the pants back onto her legs. He pulled them up over her thighs. "Lift," he commanded and Olivia pushed her hips up so that he could fit the sweatpants around her waist. He pulled them up too far and too hard; the seam pulled against her core and rubbed harshly on the exposed flesh.

"You have a choice. Think about it."

Olivia held her breath long after he left, fearing that he would come back at any moment. She tried to turn on her side to get the pressure off her back, but all that happened was that the skin pulled tight over her frame and only succeeded in causing more pain. She was able to wriggle the pants down so that they weren't rubbing against her so uncomfortably, but even without the sweatpants, the whole region between her legs was aching.

The moments crept by in slow succession. Slowly, hesitantly, Olivia came to a decision. She carefully regulated her breathing; she didn't want to cry anymore and she needed to steel herself to face what was coming.

* * *

Elliot reached for the doorknob. They had searched nearly every room in the house, starting at the attic and working their way down to the basement. The door swung open. It was a small closet that housed the water-heater and circuit breaker. He closed the door and moved on to the next one. It was set in the corner of the basement and looked like it would open up into just another useless closet. His hand turned and he pushed the door inward.

He stood in the doorway in shock as he absorbed the sight before him. "Liv," he breathed.

* * *

**A/N: **I will go back and fill in more about what happened at the warehouse, before and during the police raid. I just wanted to give a brief sketch and move on for now so that I could get to Elliot and the SVU guys finding Olivia in this chapter.

**Reader's choice:** in your reviews (hint hint), let me know what you think Olivia's decision was. It will probably play a role at some point in future chapters and I`m going to let my wonderful readers decide which way it goes. Also, if anyone wants to name this last bad guy, I am open to suggestions there as well.

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	18. Chapter 18

Elliot rushed into the room. There was a queen-sized bed pushed up against the narrow back wall. Olivia lay flat on her back, with her legs sprawled out in front of her. Her arms were handcuffed to the headboard and one of her wrists hung at a strangely limp angle. There was a sheen of sweat glistening on her skin, her eyes were squeezed shut and, even from the doorway, he could tell that her breathing was labored. "Liv!" He ran to her. He bent over the bed, his fingers flying to the handcuffs. He reached for the keys at his waist and brought them up to unlock the metal bands. Olivia's left hand was mangled and broken; the thumb was swollen and bent unnaturally into the palm of her hand and every inch of skin from her knuckles down to several inches below the wrist was discolored. "Olivia, it's alright now. You're safe. We're going to get you out of here."

Olivia turned her head ever so slightly toward him and cracked her eyes open. It looked as though that simple movement were causing excruciating pain. "Elliot," she whispered. Her eyelids fluttered and she gasped as she wheezed in a large breath of air. "El?"

Elliot turned back toward the open doorway. "We need the EMT's in here!" He looked down into her eyes; the pupils were un-evenly dilated, though not an extreme disparity. He unlocked her right wrist first and she groaned as he laid it gently on the bed. Her left hand was a little more difficult. The metal was tight around the swollen flesh, pinching the broken bones at the delicate joint. Even the slightest motion as Elliot inserted the key into the lock was jarring and Olivia flinched and sucked in a deep breath. The bracelet snapped loose and Elliot guided her hand down to rest it over her chest. Her right hand came up to cradle the broken bones.

"Elliot?" Her voice was hoarse and tired, but had a note of urgency in it. She forced her eyes to stay open. "El, there's a place… You have to find them. There're others… but… I don't know where…"

"Liv, it's alright. We found them." He didn't have the heart to tell her what they had found when they arrived at the warehouse.

"They're safe?" She was dazed and disoriented, but persistent. Elliot reached out to her; he needed to touch her, to reassure himself that she was really here and really alive. "Elliot, no!" Olivia's warning came too late. He brushed his fingertips down the side of her face, easing her hair away from the bruises and drying cuts. The second he touched her, he jerked his hand back as though it were on fire. It felt like his flesh was searing; he looked down but there was not a single mark on his skin. Beads of sweat rolled down Olivia's face.

"Liv, what did he do?" Elliot's horrified face filled her field of vision.

Olivia shook her head, barely moving it more than was necessary. She gritted her teeth against the pain that was emanating throughout her body. "Hospital. Now."

Two EMT's came in, carrying a stretcher with them. Elliot moved aside as they placed it on the bed alongside her. They lifted her up and placed her on the flat board. Elliot saw the blood on the bed beneath where she had been lying and noted the way her face tightened when they lifted her and set her back down.

"Ma'am?" One of the EMT's addressed Olivia. "Ma'am, we have to strap you to the board so that we can carry you to the ambulance. Alright?"

Olivia gave a jerky nod of consent. Elliot watched as they carefully secured her head so that she was looking straight up with her neck properly aligned. Next they passed the straps across her torso and legs, tightening them just enough that she wouldn't shift as they carried her out. Her heart pounded and her breath came in short gasps as she firmly told herself to stay calm. _Of course they have to secure me to the board; they have to in order to get me to the hospital._ But despite her inner monologue, she still felt the waves of fear crashing over her as they tightened the straps across her body. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on taking deep, even breaths.

Cragen was standing in the basement just outside the room. He carefully guarded his expression as Olivia was carried out before him. As much as he wanted for the whole team to be with her now, he knew that she needed to go to the hospital and probably wouldn't want to be crowded. At this point, his priority had to be securing the scene and making certain that all the bastards who had hurt her would pay dearly for their crimes. They had arrested Anthony Rivera as soon as they entered the house that Valenti had pointed them to; the man had been standing in the kitchen in his boxers enjoying a stiff glass of whisky with the smell of sex still on him when they burst through the door.

There were several police cars outside, creating a semicircle in front of the house and keeping reporters and curious bystanders at bay. The ambulance door was open and waiting for them. Elliot climbed into the back and sat on the small bench beside Olivia. He felt like he was in the way. After all the times he had ridden with victims to the hospital and seen the EMTs work, now he felt like a bumbling rookie on his first case. Liv's eyes were clenched shut again and he could see that she was trying to force her facial muscles to relax. One of the EMT's started to ask the standard list of questions, but Olivia had no patience for the slow question and answer.

She started to rattle off relevant medical history – providing them with her name, age, blood type, allergy information, etc. so fast that the EMT had a difficult time keeping up as he scribbled the notes down. Once she had given the medical history, she started in on describing the current injuries. "My left wrist and thumb are broken; I don't know how badly. I have lacerations in the skin on my back, sides, and legs, but I don't think they are very deep. There was a topical application of a ghost pepper to my face, arms, and thighs, as well as on my left hand and foot." There was a pause and Olivia swallowed hard. She had yet to open her eyes again. "I was also raped with it." Olivia's eyes were closed, but she felt Elliot's pitying gaze on her.

The EMT stopped writing. "How?" he asked.

"Vaginally." All the times that she had used clinical terminology while talking with a victim about their rape, Olivia had never realized quite how hard it was to voice these things aloud.

The EMT made a note of it. Though it seemed harsh to think about such things, this woman had actually been lucky that her attacker had not violated her anally with the ghost pepper. Inserting drugs or chemicals into the rectum was the quickest way to absorb them directly into the blood stream. As much pain as she was in right now, at least she had been granted that slightest mercy of not having the unstoppable pain coursing through her veins as well as everywhere else it had touched.

The remainder of the short ambulance ride was mostly quiet. Olivia had to open her eyes, since the EMTs worried that she had a concussion, but she avoided looking at Elliot. She just couldn't take seeing that endless pity and sympathy that welled in his eyes.

They couldn't risk giving her any pain killers until a doctor had examined her. Olivia felt the burn on her skin and inside her; the fiery pain that licked her flesh was all-consuming. She stared resolutely at the ceiling. She felt every bump and jar as the ambulance raced toward Mercy General.

_After Olivia made up her mind, she set about trying to prepare herself for what she needed to do. She twisted her hand in the cuffs and tried to pull free. She turned her thumb in against her palm and tried to squeeze it out. It didn't give. Finally, she gritted her teeth and simultaneously pulled against the handcuff while swinging the side of her hand into the unmoving wall behind her. There was a popping sound as something splintered in her hand and she managed to pull it free. _

_The man had left the pepper and gloves sitting on the edge of the bed. Olivia squirmed to reach them; with her one arm free, she was granted slightly more mobility. Her feet scrambled against the sheets as she tried to grab the gloves with her toes. One wrong move as she stretched out and the gloves slipped over the edge of the bed onto the floor. Olivia wanted to scream in frustration. She managed to hook the pepper with her foot and bring it up toward her. It took a second for her to feel the burn, but once it hit, it was almost unbearable. She managed to pass the pepper up high enough on the bed that she could reach it with her free hand. It was hard to coordinate movement with the broken bones, but Olivia forced herself to close her fingers around the pepper and bring it up to tuck it under the sheet next to her head. She had just started working on freeing her other hand when the door opened again. _

"_Well?" The cocky voice sent shivers up her spine. "Are you ready to play nice for your Master?" _

_Olivia wanted to turn away and curl her body into the wall, but she forced herself to look at him. He was wearing nothing but his silk boxers. The fabric shifted as he walked toward her and she could plainly see that, though he wasn't yet sporting a full erection, he was on the way to it. _

_He was so self-satisfied as he walked toward her that he didn't notice that her one hand was free. "Well, pet?" He slithered up onto the bed and crouched over her on all fours. "Answer me," he hissed._

_Olivia reached under the sheet for the pepper and brought it up in a quick strike, smashing it against his face. The skin broke and the moist flesh of the pepper seared his face as Olivia dragged it down his cheek. _

_He grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head backward into the headboard. He knocked the pepper out of her hand and onto the floor. He grabbed her head again and bashed it into the wall three… four more times as he screamed in rage and pain. Then all that Olivia could see was a blur of motion as he fled the room._

_Now that the shell of the pepper was broken, the sharp, pungent smell filled the room. Olivia's hand was burning and her head pounded violently. She tried to pull her other wrist free, but couldn't. Blood started to trickle down her wrist as the metal cut into her skin. Olivia heard footsteps returning and sobbed as she struggled against the unwavering cold embrace of the metal. _

_The man walked into the room carrying a small kitchen bowl. He dipped his fingertips into the mixture and rubbed it on his face, sighing in relief as the burn instantly cooled. He set the bowl down on the dresser and approached Olivia. He grabbed her roughly by her broken wrist and clamped the handcuff back in place, tightening it to ensure she wouldn't be able to pull free again. He bent to pick up the gloves from where they had fallen earlier. "You've been a bad girl," he said. "And bad girls need to be punished." He slid the gloves on and held up the pepper again. Olivia licked her suddenly dry lips and looked to the side. The man followed her gaze and looked at the bowl which contained his remedy. "That's a mix of baking soda, 409 degreaser, and milk. It's one of the best cures I`ve found yet for pepper burns. Maybe, if you are very good, you can have some later. " _

_He climbed up into bed and forced her legs apart. "But you don't deserve that, do you?" He slid her sweatpants down to her mid thigh. With a sudden viciousness, he pressed the pepper against the inside of her thigh. Olivia arched away, but he held it in place. She screamed in pain as he ran it along the smooth, silky flesh of her legs._

"_Please, please, no! Please stop!" Olivia pulled uselessly against the handcuffs and her broken wrist shot an endless wave of pain through her arm. Even that pain was preferable to the one emanating from first her legs and then her arms as he moved his small weapon over her skin. _

"_Say you're sorry," he commanded. "Say you want me to fuck you. Tell me that you're my whore – mine to do with as I please." He moved up to sit straddling her midriff and pushed her shirt up underneath her chin. He caressed her cheek and her face caught on fire as the burning spread. _

_Olivia clamped her lips shut and shook her head wildly from side to side. The man grinned and reached around behind him to find Olivia's slit. Even though he was using the hand that wasn't holding the pepper, the trace amounts on the outside of his glove were enough to set her tender flesh aflame. His other hand reached back and first brushed the pepper over her clit before pushing it inside. _

_Olivia screamed and bucked wildly and he pulled it out only a second later, but the damage was done. Her insides seared with ineffable pain, the burning so intense she could barely see. The man slid forward again, crushing her ribs beneath him as he towered over her. He put the pepper on the bed beside her head and removed his gloves. He didn't bother taking his boxers off but merely opened the front to grant freedom to his raging erection. His hands reached down to take hold of Olivia's breasts and he squeezed and massaged them roughly before pushing them together and sliding his member between them. _

_Olivia turned her face to the side. He had left the door open when he came in, but she couldn't make out any of the surroundings. It was taunting her – that open door seemed to laugh at her inability to move or control her own body as he repeatedly plunged his throbbing erection between the soft swells of her breasts. _

_He came quickly for the second time that night. Olivia closed her eyes in disgust as the fluid splashed against her neck and the underside of her chin. _

The hospital was busy when they got there. Olivia couldn't see her surroundings as they placed the stretcher on a wheeled gurney and rolled her through the halls. All she could see where the florescent lights flash above as she passed underneath them. She heard the voices all around her and tried to turn to look around. The strap that passed over her forehead prevented her from moving. Her heart was pounding as she momentarily struggled to turn; she forced herself to remember that it was not there to restrain her but to keep her from falling or further damaging her head.

The EMTs brought her to a quiet room and moved her from the gurney to the bed. Elliot was still beside her. "Olivia," he said as her eyes started to close. He reached for her unbroken hand, making sure not to use the hand with which he had touched her face earlier, since it still held burning remnants of the pepper that had transferred from her skin to his. Her palm was sweating and he gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Olivia, you have to stay awake."

"I know." Her eyes were closing again, but she squeezed Elliot's hand back to signal that she was still conscious.

A doctor opened the door to the exam room. He stood in the doorway while the EMT quietly filled him in on the situation. "Thank you," he said as he took the clipboard. He walked over to stand beside the bed, leaning over slightly so that Olivia could see him even with her head still secured. "Detective Benson, I am Doctor Altamirano. How are you feeling?"

Olivia grimaced. _Stupid question_, she thought, _and people wonder why I can't stand hospitals._

Altamirano nodded slightly, noting the pain evident in her body language. "The first thing we have to do is check that head wound. I'll give you a local anesthetic for your arm while we run a CAT scan. Then we'll set your arm, look at your back, and give you an ointment for the pepper burns and something for the pain. It looks like you're a little dehydrated as well, so once we'll get you on an IV right after the CAT scan to start replenishing those fluids. Do you have a next of kin that we should contact for you?"

Olivia blinked slowly. "I only have one brother and we're not close." She gripped Elliot's hand. "This is my partner at SVU, Detective Stabler." Her eyes moved over to his concerned face as she continued to speak to the doctor. "He can make any necessary decisions while I`m under anesthesia."

* * *

Alex arrived at the hospital just as they were starting the CAT scan. "Olivia!" she gasped as she ran up to the glass window looking into the room. Olivia couldn't hear her; she was strapped down and beginning to move toward the mouth of the CAT scan machine.

Elliot stood beside her, watching as Olivia passed through the large scanner.

"How is she?" Alex asked.

"The bastards did a real number on her," Elliot replied. "But hopefully there's no permanent damage. The CAT scan is mainly checking to see the extent of her head injury, though it looks like just a concussion, and if there's any damage to the internal organs. She didn't mention any pain there, though, when she was talking to the EMTs."

"And a rape kit?" Alex whispered her second question; she afraid to hear confirmed that Olivia had been raped, even though they all knew as much.

Elliot nodded. "It will have to wait a bit, but she said that she wanted them to get it done as soon as possible. I'll get her statement then, I suppose." Elliot swallowed; his stomach churned at the thought of having to ask Olivia to relive the past week.

"Actually…" Alex's voice was quiet. Olivia had exited the other side of the CAT scan and was talking to the doctor. "The case is being taken over by the Feds. Valenti is an Italian national and most of the women being held there were either foreigners or from out of state."

"But Olivia was always in New York, so that makes her case a state matter."

Alex shook her head. "We could charge with kidnapping and rape, but if we give the whole thing to the Feds, they can charge Harris and Rivera with human trafficking as well. They're sending someone down to talk to Olivia. But I talked to the federal ADA and she agreed to keep us in the loop. This is the best way to make sure they stay in jail for the maximum time possible. And if Olivia wants it, the Feds in charge of the case said that you or I can be present while she gives her statement." Her voice trailed off as she saw the door open.

Olivia was still on the gurney, but she heard Alex's voice the moment she exited the scan room. "Alex?"

The attorney ran over to her side. "Liv."

The blue eyes that appeared overhead were swimming with tears that teetered on the brink of falling. Olivia forced a smile and moved her hand just slightly, seeking Alex's. Alex reached out and took her hand. "Hey." Olivia's voice was tired. "How's your week been?"

Alex smiled wryly as she swallowed and blinked back the tears. _Typical Olivia - she can take care of everyone else, but when it comes to her own life, she turns to sarcastic comments, off-hand jokes, and deflection to avoid talking about it..._ "Enh, I`ve had better. It's been a little stressful around here. And you know Elliot's always hell to deal with when you're not around to keep him in check."

"Sorry about that." Olivia glanced over at Elliot, standing silently at her side. "Soon as they fix up this arm, I`ll be back to keep him in line."

Alex looked down at the purple, swollen mass on the end of Olivia's other arm. Her voice dropped as she took on a more serious tone. "How are you?"

Olivia inhaled deeply and sighed. "I`ll be fine."

Alex frowned, recognizing Olivia's evasion of the question. But she didn't want to pressure her, so she let it go. Olivia released Alex's hand and the nurse started to push her gurney down the hall. Alex hung back a few paces with Elliot to listen as the doctor filled them in on the CAT scan results.

"Detective Benson has a mild concussion, but no internal injuries. We're taking her into surgery to set her arm and she'll be out under general anesthesia for several hours. Would you like to stay with her or would you like for me to have someone call you when she wakes up?" Dr. Altamirano asked.

They answered simultaneously, "We'll stay."

"Alright, you can follow us down this way and I`ll point you to the waiting room when we head into the O.R."

* * *

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	19. Chapter 19

Olivia could hear Alex and Elliot walking behind her as they wheeled the hospital bed down the hall. The florescent lights rushing past overhead were hypnotic and started to blur together. A door opened and Elliot and Alex's footsteps veered off in another direction.

There were people around her in white coats and blue masks. The bustling motion was dizzying and Olivia closed her eyes for a moment. Someone placed a mask over Olivia's face and a voice told her to breathe deep. She did. The sweet air rushed into her lungs and a beautiful, dark, nothingness swept over her. Olivia sank willingly into the quiet oblivion where there was no pain, no shame, no glaring lights and no voices asking questions.

* * *

Elliot and Alex waited. The waiting room was lined with hard plastic chairs and out of date magazines. Cragen joined them shortly; Munch had gone to help Fin at the brownstone in Brooklyn where Olivia had been found. They stood. They sat. They paced. They drank cup after cup of coffee as each stayed silent in their own thoughts. They waited.

Finally, the door opened and Dr. Altamirano stepped out. Elliot rushed over to him. "How is she?"

"Detective Benson is doing well. Her arm is set and in a cast. We are going to turn her over and treat her back while she is still under sedation. We'll have to remove her clothing in order to do this…"

"…and a police officer must be present in order to preserve chain of custody for evidence," Elliot finished the doctor's thought. He set his jaw. "Lead the way."

Elliot followed Altamirano through the wide double doors leading to the surgery hall. Altamirano gave him a mask, which he slipped over his head before entering the operating room.

Olivia's face was pale and bathed in the ghostly sterile light of the hospital room. The breathing mask over her face was fogged with slight condensation as she breathed deeply. For the first time since he had seen her in that room, her face was truly relaxed as the anesthesia wiped away her pain and gave her the blissful freedom of dreamless sleep.

Elliot went over to one of the shelves against the wall; all hospitals kept evidence bags in supply. A nurse picked up a large pair of scissors and approached Olivia. She started at the hem of the NYPD T-shirt and cut upward. Elliot focused his eyes on Olivia's face, discretely avoiding looking at her body while the nurse cut away the shirt and laid a hospital gown over her. His eyes never left her face. Her eyelashes fluttered in her slumber and he caught sight of the moisture pooled under her eyes.

With a hospital gown covering Olivia's chest, the nurse moved down to the sweatpants. She made quick work of those, cutting them down each leg and exposing the bruised skin of Olivia's long legs. Elliot kept his gaze on her face, but the purple, mottled skin that he could make out in his peripheral vision made him want to kill the men responsible. Elliot held open the evidence bag as gloved hands rolled Olivia over onto her stomach and gently eased the remnants of her clothing out from under her. The bulky cast on her arm was slightly unwieldy, but they managed to maneuver her into position without bumping her broken wrist.

Elliot silently sucked in a deep breath when he saw her back; he barely felt the weight in his hands increase as the nurse dropped Olivia's clothing into the bag. Red welts crisscrossed her back and sides, down past the curve of her buttocks and onto her thighs. Most of the marks were angry ridges, but there were several areas in which the skin was broken and dried blood smeared over her skin. There was at least one place over her left shoulder where the cut was deep enough to expose a glimpse of the bone underneath.

"Detective Stabler?" The nurse's hesitant voice somehow broke through to him as he stared aghast at the damage done to Olivia's back. "Detective Stabler, is there anything else you need?"

"Err, no. That's it. I`ll… just be going back out to the waiting room." Elliot stumbled backward, realizing that they were waiting on him to leave before they started. His eyes were misting over as he exited the room and he slumped against the wall just outside in the hallway. Nothing, in all his years as a cop, had prepared him for seeing Olivia like that.

It took several minutes for Elliot to regain control before walking back out to the waiting room, holding the sealed evidence bag tucked under his arm. Alex and Cragen both looked at him expectantly, but Elliot didn't say anything. He strode past them, took a seat in a small, blue, plastic chair, and propped his elbows on his knees.

* * *

_Olivia was in a fog. There was pain and darkness and she was lost in the swirling myriad of sensations that tortured her body. There was someone near her and she whimpered softly. The presence drew closer. Olivia wanted to open her eyes, but everything hurt and she was afraid of what she might see. "Elliot…" she whispered softly. "Elliot…" A hand touched her face and caressed her cheek. _

_Olivia leaned her head into the touch; for a brief moment she forgot the pain and focused on the warm, soft, strength of the hand that cradled her face. "El." Her voice was filled with relief. _

_The hand tightened on her face and Olivia bit back a groan as she forced her eyes to open._

"_What did I tell you?" the man hissed through clenched teeth. "No other man will ever see you or touch you again. You are mine. Forget anyone else. They are dead to you as you are now dead to them." His other hand reached down to touch her leg. Olivia flinched away at the initial contact and closed her eyes, turning her face to the side. His hand was cold and, as he rubbed the cream into her skin, she felt the burning subside. _

_Olivia gasped in relief as the fire on her thigh cooled. His repulsive fingers ran over her skin, erasing the burn that he had ignited earlier. He started to pull his hand away and Olivia unconsciously pushed her hips up toward him in order for him to finish applying the salve that was quickly cooling the effects of the ghost pepper. _

_He laughed at her. "That's my good little whore. You're eager for your Master, aren't you?"_

_Olivia realized what she had done and jerked away from him. The sudden motion wrenched her broken wrist and she cried out. _

"_No, no, come back here." He pulled her back toward him and began to carefully apply the balm between her legs. Olivia's breath hitched as she was simultaneously glad for the relief and utterly repelled by his touch. He slid a finger inside her and Olivia gasped. "Tell me that you want me." The burning was gone, but he kept his finger inside her and began moving slowly. _

"_No… please, no… I can't." Olivia's broken whisper was barely audible. _

_He reached almost lazily to pinch her clit and Olivia jumped as her hips jerked in a futile attempt to get away. _

"_No!" She planted her feet against the bed and pulled up away from him. Her wrists screamed in protest as they twisted in the handcuffs. _

_He snarled at her and, in a single motion, thrust two more fingers inside her and twisted roughly. Olivia screamed and he curled the base of his palm up over her mound. "You _will_ beg for me," he commanded her. He leaned forward over her body, his three fingers still inside her. His thumb scrapped over her clit in an agonizingly slow, repeated motion. "Remember… that was just the first test. We have the whole long night ahead of us. And the night after. And the night after that, and the night after that…"_

* * *

_Saturday Morning_

Elliot waited in the corner of Olivia's hospital room. The sky outside was beginning to lighten and in another ten minutes, the sun would rise. The doctors had kept Olivia under sedation while they put a total of 37 stitches on her back. She would have scars from the beating she had taken. Short of extensive (and expensive) plastic surgery, Olivia would carry the physical reminder of this abuse for the rest of her life.

He was just starting to doze off when he heard Olivia stirring. "Elliot," she whispered, her eyes still closed. He stood and slowly walked over to her, unsure if she were awake or not. "El…" The pleading tone of her voice made his heart constrict painfully.

"Liv," he whispered back. He wanted to reach out to her, but something held him back and his arms stayed pinned at his sides. Olivia's face contorted and she began to shake slightly, the fingers of her cast-free hand scrambled against the fabric of the sheets.

"No, no, no, no… please, no…" Olivia continued to struggle against the unseen enemy and she whimpered as her back scrapped against the hospital bed.

Elliot was afraid to touch her, afraid that his presence so close to her might do more harm than good. "Liv, wake up." He stood beside the side of the foot of her bed. "Liv!"

Olivia jolted upright and her eyes shot open. Her chest heaved as she gulped in the air and her eyes darted around as she tried to place herself. She tried to bring her left arm up to shield against the bright lights, but the cast was heavy and made it difficult to maneuver. Her right arm was had an IV line and base monitors attached to it. Her breath caught and she nearly panicked at the realization that both her arms were effectively immobilized and she couldn't defend herself. She closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe evenly.

"Elliot." His name was a statement and he waited for her to continue. Olivia frowned; she could remember flashes of the previous night – Elliot coming into the room and unlocking the cuffs, the ambulance ride, a blur of activity in the hospital. A part of her had wondered if it was all a dream until she woke again to see Elliot standing next to her. It looked like he had barely slept.

Her eyes scanned the room again, as though to reassure herself that it was real and she leaned back down onto the bed with a groan. Sitting up so fast had made her head pound and the throbbing pressure behind her eyes was growing exponentially since coming back to consciousness. "How long –" she faltered and swallowed to clear her voice. "What day is it?"

Elliot's heart was crumbling inside him with too many roiling emotions. "It's Saturday morning. You've been gone just over a week."

Olivia sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I thought it was about that long. I didn't know though… there was no way to…" she stopped. "I couldn't tell," she finished lamely.

Elliot didn't know what to say. He shifted his weight between his feet and looked up at Olivia with a world of pain evident in his eyes.

Olivia looked away. She was in so much pain she didn't think she could handle taking his on too. "You found the others?" Olivia repeated her concern from when they had first found her.

Elliot shifted his stance, ever so slightly. An outsider would have missed it, but Olivia knew him well enough to recognize his discomfort.

"El, talk to me." Her voice carried some of her former confidence and self-assertion and Elliot would have smiled if he were not aware of the seriousness of the situation. "Tell me what you found." His lack of instant response did not speak well to the state of the other women that had been held captive.

Fortunately, he was saved from answering by the entrance of the nurse. "Detective Benson!" Olivia scowled at the overtly cheerful tone and Elliot chuckled at her reaction as he ducked out of the room.

The nurse continued, blithely unaware of the conversation she had interrupted, "I`m glad to see you're awake. Dr. Altamirano will be coming in to check on you shortly. In the meantime, please let me or any of the other nurses know if there is anything you need." She bustled around Olivia's bedside, checking the fluid levels in the IV and glancing at the monitor screen that was tracking Olivia's vitals.

"Um…" Olivia was suddenly glad that Elliot had left the room to give her some privacy. "I need the Morning-After pill. And a rape kit, as soon as possible."

The cheerful woman's smile faltered, but she recovered quickly and glanced at Olivia's chart. "Dr. Altamirano is the doctor that treated your arm, back, and pepper burns. He is ready to perform the rape kit whenever you wish or, if you would prefer, a female doctor can also be made available. Dr. Altamirano will also be bringing an emergency contraceptive when he comes to check on you in a few minutes."

Olivia sighed and leaned back into the pillow as the nurse left the room. She didn't want to think about the rape exam. She couldn't think about the rape exam. Olivia had seen countless women suffer through the process as their minds failed to separate the doctor's examination of their bodies from the violation that had occurred. She had stood by them and taken their statements while they clenched the edges of the thin hospital beds with their feet in the stirrups and cried as the sensitive and brutalized area was poked, prodded, and photographed. She wondered who Cragen would assign to take her statement. A part of her hoped that he would bring in someone from another SVU unit so that she wouldn't have to discuss such intimate and humiliating details with her coworkers. It really wouldn't matter, though. If the Manhattan SVU was handling the case, then regardless of who took her statement, it would be open to all the detectives. And it wasn't like it would be any easier for her to discuss with a stranger.

_Damn. God, at the very least I hope it's not Elliot. I don't think I can take that… and if I fall apart, then he'll fall apart. Fin has had my back before… _She physically cringed as memories of Sealview crossed her mind. _Munch and I have never been that close… I don't think I could talk with him about this kind of thing. _She felt tears welling up behind her eyes and fought uselessly to push them back. _No matter what, though… they're all going to know. Cragen, Elliot, Fin, Munch, Alex... the judges and the people who work in the courthouse that I see every time I go to testify… they are all going to hear every sordid detail about what happened._

Dr. Altamirano knocked on the door and entered. His patient had her eyes closed and was lying back, staying completely still as the tears rolled sideways down her cheeks. "Detective Benson?" She took a few more seconds to rein in her tears and then opened her eyes and pushed herself up so that she was sitting upright against the headboard. "How are you feeling?" the doctor asked.

Olivia wanted to make some sarcastic remark, but bit it back. "A little sore." Her whole body was aching and her back felt like it was ripping open every time she moved. The pounding in her head was a constant drum that beat against the inside of her eyeballs.

Altamirano raised one eyebrow slightly. "I expect you'll be more than sore for several days. For now you are getting pain medication through your IV. When you are released, I`ll prescribe a painkiller for you." Olivia's eyes went to the two cups he was carrying; the smaller one contained a single pill and the larger one was filled to the three-quarters mark with water. Altamirano was explaining the Plan B pill to her – as though she didn't already know! But Olivia couldn't listen. Even the thought that she might have gotten pregnant was more than she could bear. She just needed to take that pill and not have to worry about it.

"Detective?" Altamirano had apparently realized that she wasn't paying attention. "I understand that you were away," he phrased it mildly, "for some time. Plan B is only effective at preventing conception that may have occurred in the last twenty-four to forty-eight hours – maybe as large a window as seventy-two hours, but not with any degree of definiteness."

Olivia's throat closed and her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. She hadn't thought about that… even with the morning-after pill, there was no guarantee that she hadn't already conceived. She gave a jerky nod and reached forward with shaking hands to take the pill. She threw it into her mouth and washed it down with a quick gulp. _Please God, let that be the end of it_.

There was another knock at the door and Olivia jumped slightly. The water in her cup sloshed dangerously, but did not spill over. "Come on in." She forced the words out in what she hoped was a normal voice. A woman in a dark blue skirt-suit stepped in, a manila folder tucked under her arm and an expression on her face that showed concern and professionalism but neither pity nor false cheerfulness. "I am Special Agent Lisa Donatello with the FBI."

Olivia started to lift her arm to shake the woman's hand but remembered the IV line and stopped. "Olivia Benson," she introduced herself.

"Detective Benson," the woman made sure to recognize Olivia's title, "I know that you are well aware of how the process for how to typically proceed. The FBI has taken over this case with your department's blessing and I want you to be assured that personal details will not be released to anyone outside my department, who are the ones working on your case."

"Why was jurisdiction handed over to you?" Olivia couldn't resist asking.

"I am part a specific division aimed at preventing human trafficking. Your unit alerted us as soon as they realized what they'd uncovered. Now, the first step we need to take is to perform a rape kit and I`ll take down your statement." Olivia nodded, well aware of the need to get the rape kit done as soon as possible. "Would you be comfortable with Dr. Altamirano or would you prefer a female doctor?"

Olivia looked at the doctor. He had been standing silently since Agent Donatello entered the room. She didn't particularly want a man near her, but then again, she didn't want _anyone_ near her. And the time that it would take to find an available female doctor just meant that more evidence would be lost. "Let's just get this over with."

"Alright then. Is there anyone you would like to be here with you?"

Olivia considered. There was an appeal to the idea of having someone familiar with her, but she didn't think she would be able to deal with revealing all the gruesome details in front of them. "No."

Doctor Altamirano closed the door that the agent had accidentally left ajar when she entered. He pulled a pair of gloves out of the box and sat down on the adjustable stool beside Olivia.

She closed her eyes and bit her lips as the sound of the latex gloves snapping in place around the doctor's wrists brought back a rush of unwanted memories.

* * *

**A/N:** I`m very sorry for the delay in updates. I`ve been working on Grad school applications and tests and am less than two weeks from my Senior Honors Presentation. So... busy. I might not be able to update for a while again but you can be assured that I am doing my best.

**Review Please!**

**Readers Choice:** Do you want Olivia to have gotten pregnant or not?**  
**


	20. Chapter 20

It started with pictures. A nurse came in to assist Dr. Altamirano and Olivia held still while they stripped the hospital gown off of her to take pictures of the bruises on her breasts and torso. They held up a ruler next to each bruise and scrape for perspective. Agent Donatello helped her sit while Dr. Altamirano took pictures of her back. They took pictures of the bruises on her face and neck and the cast-free wrist; pictures of the ligature marks that ringed her ankles and the bruises on her thighs. Then the lights were cut off and Olivia flinched when the black light revealed the glowing remnants of his ejaculate on her stomach. There were more pictures and Altamirano used a cotton swab to collect a sample off of her stomach and her neck.

The whole time, Agent Donatello stood to the side with her notepad. She watched. She asked questions. Olivia responded with quiet certainty, relaying details of the nightmare even as she tried not to think about it.

They laid out a sheet of white paper on the bed behind her and, when Olivia lay back down, they brushed her hair so that any trace evidence would fall onto the paper. She closed her eyes as the brush tugged through her knotted hair and she remembered the countless times in the past week that someone had grabbed her by the hair and twisted or pushed her to do their will.

They trimmed her fingernails and put the clippings in a small evidence bag. They scraped underneath the shortened nails to collect what dirt or skin cells were left. They inspected every inch of skin and every injury. They pulled a few strands of hair from her head to use for comparison and then the nurse began to set up the stirrups. Olivia started shaking.

Her voice faltered and she tried to remember what Agent Donatello had just asked her. She had been trying to get through the statement without crying, but as the nurse guided her feet up into the stirrups, she had to stop or lose it completely. Donatello seemed to understand and waited.

A thin sheet covered her torso and was draped over her legs. Olivia pressed her knees together so firmly that she thought she must be creating new bruises. She heard a voice saying she needed to open her legs. _No, no, no, no…_ Then there was a gentle hand on each of her knees, guiding them apart. _No, no, stop! Please don't…_ Olivia bit back a whimper and stared at the ceiling. Someone was talking to her, trying to reassure her but Olivia couldn't hear anything over the thunder of fear in her ears.

She gritted her teeth. "It's okay. I`m alright," she lied. The camera flashed. Latex-covered fingers parted her lips and the camera flashed again. There was cold and something was sliding into her and her spine arched and her fingers tightened around the edge of the small bed. She forced herself to stay as still as possible as the specula opened to allow the doctor to examine her interior walls for tearing or damage. A swab scraped against the inside of her vaginal canal and a single tear escaped down Olivia's cheek. She turned away from the FBI agent and stared at the wall. The specula withdrew. Then the cold latex finger moved down and Olivia tensed. "No," she whispered. "You don't need to… there was never anything… there…."

"We still need to check," Agent Donatello said quietly. "It's standard procedure."

The doctor used the smallest instrument possible to open her wide enough to get the cotton swab in. Olivia whimpered as the cold, lube-coated metal pushed into her rectum. It was over quickly, but it seemed like a humiliating eternity for Olivia.

Olivia's breathing was shallow as she removed her legs from the stirrups and the nurse helped her move back up the bed. She was still only halfway through giving her statement. Donatello had been completely silent during the vaginal and anal examinations, trying to give her some space. Olivia tried at a smile and failed. "It's a little different on this side of the equation." _That's the understatement of the century. _"Um, what was your last question?"

"After they moved you to the warehouse, did you ever see the man in charge?"

_The tile was cold under her knees. His hands tangled in her hair and pushed her down. The smell of sex was overpowering, but she could still detect the scent of his expensive cologne. His tight grip on her head pulled her up and down along his shaft. Her hands alternately flexed and curled into fists. _

"Olivia?"

"Yes," Olivia replied in a subdued tone. "They called him the "Boss." I never heard anyone call him anything else, so I don't know what his real name was." _She was in the hallway, the stairs were in sight. The man in front of her served as a human shield as she choked him from behind. For a brief moment, there was hope and a chance at escape. All it took was a nod from the boss and a single bullet destroyed her hope._

"What can you tell me about him?"

"He was… not someone you would want to make angry." _He stood in front of the door and watched as she was tied upright in the middle of the room. _"He was manipulative. He did his research too. He found out about my past – my job, the people I work with and the people I`m close to…." '_I could bring in your partner, Elliot Stabler,' he mocked, 'and his whole family. I could make them do things to each other.'_

"He threatened to capture them and torture them in front of me." Her breath hitched. "He brought in… a little girl. I didn't see what they had done to her before I got there, but she had been raped – probably more than once – and was scared out of her mind. He threatened to hurt her even more if I didn't do what he wanted."

"And what was that?"

Olivia looked down at her hands. Her eyes closed as she fought the memories. _Her knees bent. Her mind was screaming at her to do something but the writhing ball of fear and nausea in the pit of her stomach told her she had no choice. She lowered herself to the ground at his feet._ "He wanted me to know that I was completely powerless against him. He wanted me to come to him willingly. And God help me, I did."

* * *

One of the nurses came in around mid-morning and removed the IV. There was an hour or so in between the IV medicine wearing off and the newly prescribed pain-killers kicking in. For that entire hour, Olivia refused to rest, but continued to give her statement even as her teeth ground together and a sheen of sweat poured down her face. It was nearly lunchtime before the questions finally stopped. Olivia was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep, but she knew that it was important to finish her statement while it was still fresh in her mind.

"Thank you." Agent Donatello looked at Olivia kindly. "That's all I need for now. I'll be in touch with you as the case moves forward."

Olivia's voice was tired from recounting every detail of the last week and so she simply nodded. The FBI agent stepped out of the room and Dr. Altamirano immediately stepped in. Olivia sighed and rubbed her brow. She was getting sick of doctors already and just wanted to be out of the hospital.

"Detective Benson, I need to go over some issues about your care before I sign your discharge papers."

_Thank God,_ Olivia thought, _I can get out of here already._

"Your left wrist was severely damaged but should heal without complications. I want you to come back in a few days for a check-up; one of the nurses can help you set an appointment on your way out. The cast will be on for the next five to six weeks and must be kept dry at all times. Your stitches on your back need to stay completely dry for at least twenty-four hours. After that, you can get them wet, but you must be sure to carefully dry off immediately afterward. I'll check your stitches when you come in later this week and they should be ready for me to remove them within ten to fifteen days.

He continued, "The gunshot wound you received last week should not give you any trouble. If you have been able to get proper medical care, it would have been stitched up. As it is, you will have the indentation and scar, but no impairment to the function of your arm. You do have several small tears in and around both the vaginal and anal openings. I`m going to put you on an antibiotic regimen for two weeks to help protect you against infection. Other than that, just make sure you keep those areas clean and I`d recommend abstaining from sexual activity for at least a week in order to give it time to heal. Also your blood-work results should be available within the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours."

Olivia didn't even want to think about the possibility that she might be pregnant or have gotten an STD. All she wanted right now was to go home and take a shower and not have to look at anyone or talk to anyone. "Alright. So I`m good to go?" she asked as she sat up in the bed.

"Just one more thing – that concussion does bear watching for another day or two. You can go home now so long as you have someone there who can keep an eye on you and bring you back here if you have any problems. Otherwise we will keep you here for observation for another twenty-four hours."

"I can have someone stay with me." Olivia had no intention of actually doing so, but she was willing to say anything at this point that would get her released. She scooted to the end of the bed and swung her legs over before she remembered she was wearing nothing more than a hospital gown.

"Excellent. Now, I`ll go sign your papers, a nurse will bring you some fresh clothes, and you can be on your way." Dr. Altamirano smiled at her as he backed out of the room.

Once she was alone again, Olivia closed her eyes. Her head was pounding just from the slight movement of sitting up and her back ached as the stitches were pulled tight by her movement. A nurse came in and deposited clean scrubs in a chair next to the bed. "Thank you," Olivia said; her eyes never left the floor until the other woman left. Then she carefully slid off the bed and made her way to the chair. Her right hand reached behind her to untie the hospital gown and it dropped to the floor. It was a little difficult to maneuver the bulky cast on her left arm into the scrubs, but eventually she managed. Next she set the pants on the floor and stepped into them, using her right hand to tug them slowly up her legs. She had no underwear; she hadn't had underwear since Harris took her clothes from her in the storage unit. It seemed like so long ago.

She opened the door and leaned against the frame. The hallway stretched out before her; the shining "Exit" sign might have been a mile away and Olivia's legs were already trembling slightly from the exertion of standing up and getting dressed. Dr. Altamirano was walking toward her with her discharge papers in hand. He saw the effort that it took for her to stand and frowned. He turned to nearby orderly and spoke; the younger man ran to grab a wheelchair.

Olivia scowled as Dr. Altamirano approached. She took the discharge papers from his hand and vaguely heard to his final words about making sure she took care of herself and that there were people waiting to see her. She didn't listen. She didn't care. She just wanted to get out of the hospital and go home. Altamirano left and the orderly neared Olivia with the wheelchair. She shot him a look that spelled out death and he hesitated. "Take that away. I don't need it." He tripped over his own feet as he turned around.

Olivia walked down the hall. At first it was a struggle as every step brought the dormant pain into bloom. But Olivia kept going, refusing to slow down or adjust her pace simply because her legs were weak and her thighs rubbed uncomfortably with each stride. She made it to the door at the end of the hall and pushed open.

* * *

The moment the door opened, every eye in the room turned toward Olivia. She stepped into the waiting room to find every member of the SVU team there waiting for her. Elliot had been sitting by the door and jumped to his feet the moment she appeared. Alex and Cragen had been conversing quietly, cups of old hospital coffee held loosely in their hands. Huang was reading the latest edition of his favorite psychology journal. Munch was balancing his laptop on his knees, but shifted it aside to one of the small tables. Fin and Melinda were just coming back from the vending machines.

Olivia steeled herself. She wanted to run, wanted to hide… She was ashamed and suddenly every bruise and scrape on her body was just screaming out her failure as a woman and as a cop… she couldn't protect herself. The filth on her body was burning into her skin and she wanted to take a shower and just wash it all away. But instead of turning and running, Olivia forced a twitch of a smile onto her face. It wasn't much, but it was the best she could manage.

"Olivia." Cragen was the first to speak. Elliot looked like he wanted to say something, but he seemed to have suddenly swallowed his tongue.

"Captain." Olivia wasn't sure what she was expected to say. She just wanted to get out of there. She felt pinned beneath their scrutiny.

"We're glad you're back."

Olivia nodded; her throat tightened and she couldn't speak. _I will not cry; I will not cry; I will not cry._

Elliot saw her internal struggle and stepped forward. "Liv, you want me to give you a ride home?"

The slight jerk of her head was all the response he needed. Elliot led the way forward toward the exit. The automatic door opened and Olivia felt a soft gust of fresh wind blow against her body and bite her skin through the thin scrubs. It felt glorious. She was halfway out to the car with Elliot when his phone rang. "Stabler," he answered. "Yeah. Yeah, sure." His eyes slid over to Olivia and she bit her lip nervously.

She had forgotten that the doctor was able to talk to her captain about her injuries and post-release care because she was a police officer and her captain needed to know what her physical status was in order to know when she could return to work. _Damn. Damn, damn. Fucking doctor-patient privilege works for everyone but me._

"Liv?"

She sighed. "Yeah, El?"

"Captain says you're supposed to have someone stay with you for a day or two. Doctor's orders. Is that right?"

"Yeah." They were at his car and Olivia walked around to the passenger side, glad that the barrier in between gave her a brief respite from his quizzical gaze.

"So," Elliot pried softly. "Do you need someone to stay with you?" She didn't reply. "If you want, I could camp out on your couch."

"No," Olivia said. "No, you should go home to your family. How often have you been home this week?" She knew that it probably wasn't much. He would have been looking for her every second of every day. "I`ll, uh…" she paused as her mind cast around for possible candidates. "I`ll call Alex."

"Here," Elliot handed Olivia his cell phone. "Go ahead and call her while we're on the way to your place. She can grab her stuff and meet us there."

Olivia did not look particularly thrilled as she found Alex's number in Elliot's contact list and called. Once she had hung up the phone, Olivia tossed it over into Elliot's lap. He caught it without ever taking his eyes off the road.

"You wouldn't have called her, would you?"

"Probably not," Olivia replied. "You know me."

"Yeah, I do." He was looking straight out at the red lights of the traffic ahead of them. Olivia pretended to look out the side window, but was watching Elliot out of the corner of her eye.

For fifteen minutes, they were completely silent. Finally Elliot turned the car off the main drag toward Olivia's road. They passed in front of a narrow alley and Olivia sucked in her breath when she saw it. Tatters of yellow, police, Caution tape still hung across the entrance to the alley. Elliot pulled into the fire lane in front of her building. Still, they said nothing. A few minutes later, his phone buzzed and broke the silence.

Elliot picked it up and glanced at the screen. "Alex says she's only five minutes away." There was another extended pause. "You want me to walk you up?"

Olivia shook her head. "No." She swallowed. "I'll be fine." She reached for the door handle.

"Liv, hang on."

Olivia turned around in her seat. Elliot was holding up a single key. "New locks, courtesy of New York State."

She reached out and took the key. Their fingers touched briefly and she pulled back, the key tucked into her palm. "I`ll be fine," she repeated.

Elliot looked at her carefully. "Flick the lights when you get up there, okay?"

She forced a smile. "Sure." She got out of the car and Elliot watched as she slipped through the door into her building. He waited. His heart pounded. He knew that he needed to give her whatever space and independence she needed. He waited. The light in Olivia's window flashed on and off twice. Elliot released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

Alex's car pulled into a parking space down the street. Elliot watched as she opened her trunk and threw a duffel bag up over her shoulder. Her sharp blue eyes sought out his car in front of the building and she waved to acknowledge him as she rang the bell for Olivia to buzz her into the building. Only after Alex was inside and the door had closed behind her did Elliot shift the car into gear and head home to Queens.

* * *

**A/N:** Trying to keep up with the fun writing as a welcome relief from all the schoolwork. Hope you enjoy. Next chapter will feature Olivia and Alex in Olivia's apartment.

**REVIEW!**


	21. Chapter 21

Olivia bit her lip as she cleared the threshold of the building. The hair on the back of her neck was standing on end and her eyes darted to every shadow in the room as the early afternoon sun drifted in through the doorway behind her. She let the heavy door swing shut and click into place. The building lobby now seemed suddenly dark under the florescent lights. Olivia closed her eyes as she stood rooted in place.

_The hallway was dimly lit and the dull tile floors were cool under her bare feet. A single hand was planted firmly in the center of her back, pushing her forward. She stumbled and the man behind her chortled. Olivia managed to catch her balance and she could have sworn the man shoved her a little faster as though hoping she would fall. Beneath the scent of her own fear and the bodies around her, she could detect the earthy musk that pushed up from beneath the floors and behind the walls. A door opened and she made her way down the stairs to that room – the room with the whips and the camera and the chains to bind her in place. _

_The ghostly white light bounced off the pristine walls and floors and Olivia felt her stomach churn. Mark's leering face appeared in front of her as the other man positioned himself behind her and they worked together to cut off the blood-stained shirt and pull off her pants. Their hands brushed callously over her body, groping and prodding. She flinched when the Mark pulled her up against his body and reached around to cup her naked ass. Her bound hands were pinned between their chests. His fingers slid down the crease between her checks and she could feel his erection throb against her through the barrier of his jeans. The man behind her pressed in closer and Olivia could feel his hot breath panting against the sensitive skin at the crook of her neck. His left hand reached around to cup her breast and his right snaked down between her legs. Olivia jerked, but there was nowhere for her to go. They pinned her between them and set a soft rhythm as they each rocked back and forth, rubbing themselves against her as they violated her with their roaming hands. _

Olivia shook off the memory as she choked back a sob. She couldn't cry here. She started toward the stairs and stopped halfway across the hall. The pain between her legs started to build every time she took a step. _Maybe stairs up to the fourth floor are not the best idea_, she thought. Olivia turned to the elevator. It opened immediately after she pressed the button and she stepped inside. Olivia breathed a quiet sigh of relief as the doors gave a soft _ding_ and slid shut. The numbers over the door rose slowly until the old machine shuddered to a halt on the fourth floor.

Everything felt surreal as she walked down the hall to her apartment. It was a normal day outside. The sun was shining. She could hear the garbled sounds of a TV from behind one of her neighbor's door, and the five-year-old whose family lived down the hall was throwing a temper-tantrum. Olivia's hand was shaking slightly as she pushed the key in and turned the lock. Her apartment was exactly as she had left it; there was a stack of dishes in the sink and a half-full coffee pot left on the counter. The take-out containers in the trashcan were emitting the spicy and somewhat putrid scent of week-old General Tsao's chicken. Olivia wrinkled her nose as she stepped inside and locked the door behind her.

* * *

Alex knocked on the door and heard the movement inside stop. After a moment's pause, a pair of feet padded their way to the door. "Olivia? It`s just me," Alex said. There was no response, but she heard the lock slide open. The door opened.

"Come on in," Olivia said. She stood to the side and held open the door as Alex slipped passed her and dropped her bag on the couch. Olivia was barefoot and still wearing the clothes from the hospital, though she had thrown on an old sweatshirt over the thin scrubs. The air was so thick with cleaning chemicals that Alex almost choked on it. She looked over at the kitchen. There was a bag filled with trash leaning against the counter. It had at least three layers of plastic lining tying it shut. The trashcan was tipped over on its side and the bottle of Lysol spray gave Alex a clue to what the overpowering smell was from.

She coughed. "How's the cleaning spree going?"

Olivia swung the door shut and slid the lock back in place. "The trash hadn't been taken out for a while," she explained simply. She sat down on the floor beside the trashcan and picked up the sponge that lay next to the Lysol. Her cast was in a sling and it bumped awkwardly against her chest as she moved.

Alex sat down just behind Olivia and slightly to the side. "Want a hand?"

"No thanks. I just have to finish getting this thing clean."

The blonde's eyebrow rose slightly. The white plastic of the cheap container was probably cleaner now than it had been when Olivia first purchased it. She didn't say anything.

Olivia scrubbed and Alex sat in silence. Olivia had positioned the trashcan so that the back was wedged up against the side of the counter and she could lean in to clean it with her one good arm. Her whole upper body moved with her as she scraped the sponge against the inside of the container. Alex watched as her shoulders trembled. A moment later she heard Olivia try to sniffle back the tears. "Olivia –"

Olivia shook her head and Alex stopped. She waited.

It took a moment for Olivia to force down the tears and regain control of herself. When she finally spoke, she sounded more tired than Alex had ever heard her. "Has it really been a week?" Her hand still gripped the cleaning sponge, but her whole body was still.

"It's Saturday afternoon now," Alex said quietly. "You were gone a whole week."

Olivia inhaled deeply and released the breath slowly. She still did not turn to look at Alex. "Tell me what happened. Elliot kept avoiding it when I asked. Tell me what happened when you found them."

"Olivia, I wasn't there, I was still –"

"But you _know_. Even if you weren't there, you know what happened. Tell me. Tell me that the others are alright." Alex hesitated. "Tell me," Olivia demanded.

"As soon as we found out where you were, we called the local cops to secure the area until we could get there. One of the local cops tipped them off that we were coming. Fortunately, he assumed that SVU would be driving and that it would take three hours or more for us to get there. Instead, Cragen, Fin, and Elliot took a helicopter and got there in about 45 minutes – before Valenti had time to make everything and everyone disappear. It looks like he planned on killing everyone and skipping out alone.

Olivia's body tightened with tension and she swallowed the ball of guilt welling in her chest. "How many lived? Do you know who…?"

"Eleven women survived and are in the hospital being treated. At least six men were taken into custody, including Valenti. I don't know much more - the Feds took over the case almost as soon as we got there."

"There was a little girl there… her name was Lynn. Do you know what happened to her?"

Alex shook her head slowly. "I don't, I`m sorry… I can call Agent Donatello and ask about her."

"Thanks." Olivia felt the writing ball of emotions rise up in her throat. It was hard to breath and hard to think. Unshed tears welled up in her eyes and blurred her vision. "I`m going to hop in the shower." Her voice instantly revealed just how close to crying she was. _Damn. _"Let me know as soon as you find anything out."

"I will," Alex promised.

Olivia rose unsteadily to her feet. She still had her back to Alex, who remained seated on the floor. "Thank you," she muttered quietly, almost inaudibly. Alex watched as Olivia made her way through the bedroom door toward the bathroom and then she pulled her phone out of her pocket and found Agent Donatello's number.

* * *

Olivia was in her bathroom, leaning over the sink, staring at her reflection in the mirror. The past week had aged her, she realized. The eyes that looked back at her were sunken into her flesh, her skin was pallid, and the deep shadows under her eyes gave away a prolonged lack of sleep. _Well at least that's something normal_, Olivia mused wryly. _It's not exactly like I usually get a lot of sleep anyway._

It was strange for Olivia to have Alex in her apartment. Of course she had been over before, but this was different. She wanted to be alone and they both knew it. She also wanted to know everything that had happened in the last week and especially the last twenty-four hours. It was torture not knowing what had happened to Lynn and Shauna and Joanna and Tanya. She wondered which of the men were in custody. Had Mark been captured? _No_, Olivia realized with a growing sense of disquiet. _No, he was with me when Elliot and all got to the warehouse. He was driving me to…_ She paused. She knew that someone has mentioned the name of the man who had "bought her" from Valenti, but in the confusion of the day she couldn't remember. It sickened her to think the phrase "the man who bought me."

Olivia leaned her head down toward the sink and retched. Nothing came up, but her worn throat muscles gagged and seized as she felt stomach acid burn part way up her esophagus. When the feeling passed, she allowed her head to hand limply as she remained with her arms braced against the sink. She hated feeling this week.

There was a sound of movement outside the bathroom door. Olivia looked up. She knew that Alex was standing just on the other side. Of course the sound of her retching would have attracted attention, especially since she had a concussion. "I`m fine, Alex," she called. There was a pause. Olivia smiled. She knew exactly the expression that she would see on Alex's face if she were to open the door. The blond attorney was probably about a yard away from the door, watching and listening, but still holding back out of respect for her friend's privacy. "I`ll call if I need anything."

There was another brief pause, but then Olivia heard Alex's feet shuffle against the thick carpet on the floor of her bedroom as she turned around. "Alright," Alex said. "Just let me know."

"I will," Olivia replied as she turned toward the bathtub. Her whole body ached as she bent over to slide the pants down over her legs. Olivia closed her eyes; she couldn't bear to see the bruises that covered her body. Getting her shirt off required a little more finesse. She managed to get her uninjured arm out and slip it over her head before easing it down off her left arm around the cast.

She moved slowly toward the tub. Her body seemed to ache more now that the business of the previous night was over and she was at home, left to face up to what had happened to her. She carefully swung first one, then the other, leg over the rim of the tub so that she was standing in its basin. She nudged the drain stopper with her toe and it fell closed. Olivia bent to turn the taps and backed her feet up to avoid the first cold wave of water. She sat on the edge of the tub and waited as the water warmed and flooded the tub up past her ankles and to about the level of mid-calf.

Olivia picked up her washcloth from where she had draped it over a rail a week before. It was completely dry. Usually it was never completely dry except when she remembered to throw it in with the rest of the laundry. She typically showered every morning to wake up and then again at least once at night. She knew that the multiple showers were a bit excessive, but after dealing with the criminals that she faced all day, she often came home with a sense of contamination and a need to cleanse herself. _Now I`ll never be clean_, she mused as she dipped the washcloth in the water and dragged it up her body. Since she couldn't get her stitches wet for another day, this would have to suffice.

Though the water was warm and felt pleasant against her skin, Olivia was cold. Her spine tingled and she kept turning around to scan the bathroom, plagued by the vague sensation that someone was watching her. She scrubbed her front, working methodically from her face downward. She tried to reach back and clean a bit of her back, but stopped and grimaced at the pain in her shoulder. That would have to wait. Even were it not for her arms, she still would have had a hard time avoiding getting her stitches wet without being able to see them.

Olivia gasped when the washcloth first prodded gently at her tender and swollen sex. She had been trying hard to ignore the pain there and fortunately the pain in her broken arm and the lashes on her back provided ample distraction. Now, though, she turned her attention to the region between her legs.

There were bruises spotting her thighs down to the knees. The skin between her legs was blotchy and irritated with razor-burn. The red bumps drifted down toward flesh that was red and swollen and painful. Olivia carefully ran a finger along her opening and flinched at the pain. A trace of blood clung to her fingers when she pulled away; repeated tearing meant that it would probably be a while before she fully healed and the tears would be exacerbated by too much walking or other exertion. Olivia scowled.

As she examined the damage inflicted on her body, the hairs on the back of her neck raised. Olivia turned slowly and surveyed the bathroom. There was no one there. She went back to washing herself, but a moment later, the same tingling feeling crept up her spine.

Her head snapped around and she caught sight of a figure in the mirror. _No, no,_ she told herself firmly, trying to slow her heart rate. _It's just my reflection. It's nothing to worry about_. She dipped the washcloth down into the water and brought it up to her chest, allowing the clear water to rinse away the soapy residue. Her butt was starting to hurt from perching on the edge of the tub for so long.

Olivia closed her eyes as the water flowed down her body. Her brows knit together as the memory of Mark watching her bathe crept into the edges of her consciousness. It was as thought she could feel his eyes on her still. The central air-conditioning kicked on and Olivia flinched and whirled around at the unexpected sound. Her balance was off because her eyes had been closed. She slipped off the wet ledge and crashed to the floor, pinning her left arm beneath her. Olivia whimpered quietly and braced her right hand against the floor to push herself back up. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the shadow of the towel hanging on the hook on the back of the door. Her panicking brain, for a brief instant, interpreted the shadow as the form of a man and Olivia curled up protectively in a ball.

Footsteps approached. _Of course Alex would have heard the noise_. Olivia squirmed back so that she was tucked in the corner and started to slowly get to feet. She grabbed the towel off its hook just as the door swung open.

"Olivia? Are you alright?" Alex asked with concern.

Olivia's head was bowed as she clutched the towel up in front of her. She shook her head slowly. "Just give me a second…"

It took a brief moment for Olivia to gather herself and then she wrapped the towel around her body and headed into the bedroom. She eased into a clean pair of underwear, relishing in the comfortable, familiar, protective feel of the cloth covering her. She pulled a bra out of the top drawer of her dresser, and then hesitated. Her shoulders still ached from being tied up and her back was sore and raw. Perhaps a bra was not a good idea. She replaced it in the drawer and pulled out a loose t-shirt, since the arm would be large enough to allow her cast to fit through. It fell down to mid-thigh. A soft pair of pajama pants completed her outfit and she walked into the living room.

Alex was sitting on the sofa, waiting for her. Olivia took a seat on the end opposite her, her feet curled up under her. Her left arm in its cast rested easily along the back of the couch; Olivia knew that it was best to keep it elevated as much as possible. She looked up at Alex. The blond was watching her intently, but showed no signs of speaking. She was going to let Olivia move this at her own pace.

"Whenever they let me shower," Olivia began hesitantly, "there was always someone watching." Her right arm crossed over her chest to rest her hand on the opposite shoulder in a subconsciously protective gesture. "Or, they let me shower twice, really… the other times, when I was in the storage unit, Jay just took me outside and sprayed a hose at me." She bit her lip, her eyes firmly fixed on the fabric of the couch in between them. "It was…" she stopped, unsure of what adjective she might use. "It's like I can't get their eyes off me. Even when I`m 'clean,' I`m not." The words caught in her throat.

Alex jerked slightly as she started to move one hand forward to offer Olivia comfort, but then thought better of it. Olivia noticed the motion and withdrew into herself, not wanting to be touched at all.

"Jay was," Alex hesitated, but she wanted to know the answer to the question they had been prying Harris with all week, "Harris' accomplice?"

Olivia nodded slowly. "Yes… more or less… I never really figured out what was going on between the two of them. Jay _hated_ Harris, I know that much… He tried to protect me from him a little… and he took care of me." She moved her left arm from where it had been resting and the fingertips that peeked out from the cast stroked over the bandage on her upper right arm. "He didn't hurt me…much. But then _he_ was the one to take me to that other place." She shivered. "He was different there."

"How so?" Alex asked, not sure that she wanted to know the answer.

The detective shook her head. She didn't want to – she _couldn't_ – she wasn't ready to talk about it. Olivia cleared her throat, wanting to change the subject. "Did you find out about the other girls?" she asked hoarsely.

Alex pursed her lips. "No, I tried Donatello's cell and her office number. Nobody's picking up. I left a couple messages, though, that I want her to call me back. So hopefully we'll hear something soon."

Olivia just barely nodded in acknowledgment. Alex looked at her questioningly, wondering where to go from here. Olivia showed no signs of moving, though, nor any inclination to speak. She sat frozen, her eyes glazed over as she stared endlessly at nothing.

Alex shifted on the couch into a more comfortable position. She waited. She would be here when Olivia wanted to talk, or even if she didn't want to talk. Whatever her friend needed, she would be here.

* * *

My deepest apologies for the delay... I had a lot of work to do IRL and then got writer's block on top of it all... But now I believe I am back on track!

**Please Review! It makes me happy and I like to hear what you have to say!**


	22. Chapter 22

Alex lost track of time completely as she waited with Olivia. It could have been ten minutes or an hour before her cell phone rang and interrupted the silence. They both jumped as the shrill sound demanded their attention.

"Cabot," Alex answered in her typical no-nonsense tone.

Olivia examined Alex's face as the person on the other end spoke. She couldn't hear what was being said, but she could judge the tone of the conversation by Alex's expression. After years in the courtroom, the blonde was remarkably skilled at controlling her outward expression of emotion. But as good as she was at hiding things, Olivia was better at watching. She saw the twitch as Alex locked her jaw to keep herself from interrupting the speaker in an emotional outburst. She saw Alex's eyes narrow and flash with anger. She saw Alex's involuntary swallow and the way her hand tightened on the phone.

"Thanks, I`ll let her know." Alex hung up the phone.

"Donatello?" Olivia guessed.

Alex nodded. "It seems like Valenti was fairly well connected with the mob - and had preparations made in case of a police raid. The warehouse went up in flames not long after Valenti left with Elliot and Cragen. Three cops died in the fire. Guards have been posted outside the rooms of the surviving women. She is sending four FBI agents here to watch your apartment."

Olivia nodded. It made sense. Valenti would have had a security policy in place. "What about the women who lived? Did she say who they were?"

"I'm sorry, Liv, I forgot to ask." Alex's voice was thick.

"It's okay." Olivia sighed. "I'm just going to head in to bed. You okay out here?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, this is fine."

"There're blankets in there," Olivia said as she gestured to a small linen closet outside the apartment's only bathroom. "You're welcome to whatever you can find, though I'd check the dates first on whatever's in the fridge. You need anything?"

"I can manage. Go on to bed."

Only once Olivia was in her room and the door closed did she allow herself to start crying.

* * *

_Saturday Night_

Sleep proved elusive for Olivia that night. She heard voices, muted through the bedroom door, as Alex talked with the FBI security detail who had arrived. They would be stationed outside her building. She heard Alex moving around in the living room, settling in for a night on the couch. Then she heard silence – many hours of silence as she lay in the dark and forced herself to remember to breathe.

Her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling and the fingers of her unbroken hand curled into a tight fist at her side. The ball of anguish that welled in her throat threatened to choke her. The small clock beside her bed marked the hours as the neon red lights slowly moved. Around 2am, she managed to fall asleep for just a brief moment, only to be jerked back awake, sweaty and shaking, when nightmares began. She got up and walked around the room, her arms locked over her chest. Her ribcage was tight and she felt as though it took an immense effort just to draw in air.

Olivia moved over to the window and looked out. The streets were mostly empty, with only an occasional car passing by. The lights from the street lamp and from the odd window in nearby buildings gave a faintly ghostly look to the cityscape. A soft fog was settling in.

She turned away from the window and paced around her room. Every movement seemed to jar her body and remind her of the bruises and wounds that mottled her flesh. But she just had to move. She felt trapped and restless, as much now as she had in the past week.

It took nearly an hour for Olivia to settle down enough to get back in bed and try again for some sleep. Next to her head, the clock ticked onward as the night slipped away.

Around 4:00, Olivia jolted awake. She didn't remember falling asleep and she didn't know what had woken her up. Something just felt wrong. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and paused for a moment. She had snapped upright upon waking and her concussed head was pounding in protest. Once the room stopped spinning and the lights behind her eyes faded, Olivia got gingerly to her feet. She was almost at the bedroom door when she heard a soft noise in the living room.

"I thought we were here for a brunette?"

Olivia froze.

"I dunno, we've got the right apartment. He musta just gotten some of them mixed up on the list," a raspy male voice whispered back.

"Whatever," the first man spoke again, "let's just do it and move on. We've a couple more to get done before the night's out."

Olivia couldn't move. Her heart was pounding in terror – so loudly, in fact, that she was surprised the men couldn't hear it.

"What's the hurry? She _is_ pretty hot. And really, what's one or two more after everything else, hunh?" The distinct sound of a zipper being undone snapped Olivia back into reality. She walked quickly and silently to her bedside table. She couldn't feel any pain as she moved. It seemed surreal, some of her senses dulled and others working in overdrive. She could hear her heart pounding, hear the muffled sounds of the men in the living room, hear Alex's steady breathing… She felt nothing – not the stiffness of her muscles or the floor under her feet. She barely registered as the cool weight of her gun settled comfortably into her hand.

She held the gun steadily in her right hand and the fingertips of her left hand grasped the doorknob awkwardly around the cast. Her palms were sweating. The door swung open.

Alex was still asleep. She was a heavy sleeper to start with, and had driven herself into exhaustion during the past week. Her hand was tucked peacefully under her chin and her fine blond hair fanned out over the lumpy couch pillow.

Two men in ski masks stood over her. One had his pants open and was stroking himself excitedly while the other slowly peeled the blanket back, uncovering Alex's smooth legs and the curve of her ass that showed beneath her overlarge t-shirt. Their heads snapped up as the door opened.

Olivia sucked in a deep breath. It felt as though her ribcage was about to shatter with all the adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her gun felt unbalanced – she typically used a two-handed stance, as did most police officers – and she was afraid that her aim would be off because of it.

As soon as the door opened, Olivia stepped through, brought up her cast to rest under her good arm as somewhat of a brace, and fired.

* * *

_Sunday Morning_

For the second time in as many days, Olivia found herself giving her statement to Agent Donatello. A swarm of FBI agents had flooded her apartment as soon as she had collected herself enough to make the phone call. Olivia and Alex were bustled away safely before the coroner had even arrived to collect the bodies.

Olivia and Alex had been escorted to Agent Donatello's office in the FBI building. She got them each a cup of fresh coffee and led them to separate interview rooms. She talked to Olivia first. Olivia sipped the coffee slowly, _much better than what we have at the precinct_, she thought. She was slowly coming out of shock, but her answers to Donatello's questions were clear and concise. "No, I didn't see their faces. I didn't recognize their voices. I don't know how they got in; when I woke up, they were in the living room… I don't know how many shots I fired, I shot until they were down. Yes, I heard them say they had a list. No, they didn't mention any names."

It was slow and laborious. Olivia felt like she answered every question a dozen times. She was suddenly groggy from lack of sleep and her head was spinning. She just wanted this all to be over with. She wanted some way just to have everything behind her and be done with it.

By the time Donatello had finished with her questions, Olivia's head was drooping, resting on her hand braced against the table. Her whole body was slumped in exhaustion. Her second cup of coffee was nearly empty and she fiddled with the paper cup while they wrapped up the questions.

Donatello stood to leave and Olivia's head suddenly shot up. _Damn_, she though as the movement caused the pounding in her head to increase. Through her muddled brain, she dragged out the question she had been meaning to ask. "The women… the girls at – at the warehouse…," she asked hesitantly, suddenly afraid to hear the answer. "Who lived?"

Donatello sunk back into her chair, the all-business mask on her face breaking for an instant. "Shauna escaped sometime Friday afternoon. She made it to our office in Philadelphia not long after the raid on the warehouse. Monique, Ashley, Eliza, Tanya, Faith, Janice, and Maribel are safe and in the hospital. Juana, Isabel, and Denice made it to the hospital, but didn't make it through. You told me that you met Tanya, right?"

Olivia nodded, her tears just barely held at bay. "The little girl," she whispered hoarsely, "Lynn." Her eyes were watering and Donatello wished that she could give the good news that Olivia was asking for.

"I'm sorry." The FBI agent shook her head softly. "I'm so sorry."

Olivia bent her head forward, hiding her face as the tears ran free. "Go," she said, her voice surprisingly steady. "I know you need to talk to Alex and get her statement."

Donatello hesitated; an unwarranted sense of guilt lay heavily on her shoulders. But she nodded, hearing Olivia's words, and walked out.

* * *

Alex's statement was short. The ADA was tense and had been pacing around the room the whole time Donatello was talking with Olivia. Her coffee sat untouched on the table as her feet swallowed up the floor in long, even strides. She did not sit when Donatello walked in, but continued to pace, her arms locked across her chest. Her body was consumed with adrenaline and had been since she woke up on Olivia's couch.

"I woke up when Olivia fired," she said shortly, before Donatello even had the chance to ask her anything. "There were two men there; both had their faces covered. One was standing beside the couch and, erm, exposed. He had a gun tucked into his belt. The other was at the foot of the couch. He had a gun in one hand and was pulling off the blanket with the other." Alex's hands moved in an abrupt, abortive gesture and fell to her sides. "I sleep in just a t-shirt and panties. The man next to the couch was," she faltered slightly, but recovered quickly and continued, "excited by that discovery." Alex shook her head as though to clear the memory.

"The first shots hit the man at the foot of the couch. He was the one with his gun out," Alex explained. "The other one left off what he was doing and went to draw his gun. Then Olivia shot him too."

There were other questions that followed and Alex answered every one with her steady, no-nonsense proficiency. After they were done, Alex had a question of her own. When she asked Donatello, her tone was not that of a witness. Her voice was solid ice, the same tone that made her opponents in the courtroom quake. "Will Detective Benson be charged with anything?"

Donatello shook her head. "Your IAB will probably want to talk to her, just as a matter of protocol. But I've already spoken with my DA and it's not likely any charges will be filed."

Alex met the other women's gaze and held it with her own. "Good."

* * *

It was barely 9am when an FBI agent drove them back by Olivia's building. It would be at least a day or two before the place would be cleaned up for her to go back in. The two of them got into Alex's car and pulled away. Olivia leaned her head against the window.

"Where do you want to go?" Alex asked quietly.

Olivia shook her head, her lips pressed tight together. _Somewhere they can't get me_, she thought. "Anywhere," she said listlessly.

Alex nodded. She thought for a moment and then turned in the direction of the precinct. Even though it was a Sunday, Cragen would be there. Elliot would probably be at Mass for another few hours, but he would come meet them at the station house if Olivia needed him there.

When they got to the precinct, it was mostly empty. Munch and Fin were on duty, but they were out in the field. Only Cragen was there. He saw Alex and Olivia slip into the squad room and got up to meet them.

"Donatello called me this morning," he said matter-of-factly. "I figured you two would come by here." He looked at Olivia. She was presenting a brave front, as always, but he could see the tiredness that threatened to overwhelm her. "Liv, there's a cot up in the crib with your name on it. Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

Olivia nodded appreciatively. She started toward the stairs, but then paused, one hand on the rail. "Cap'n," she said quietly, not turning around. "Thanks… for finding me."

Cragen was suddenly choked by the ball of emotion caught in his throat. He didn't know how to respond, but apparently Olivia didn't think any response was necessary. Before he could recover, she was up the stairs and disappearing into the Crib.

Cragen then turned to face Alex. Her facial expression gave off an air of relaxation, but her body posture spoke differently. "Alex." She turned to meet his questioning gaze. "Are _you_ alright?"

The words "I'm fine" were on the tip of her tongue before Alex realized that was not the case. She had been so busy trying to make sure that Olivia was alright that she had not stopped to think how perilously close she had come to being assaulted… and killed.

Her body tightened as the realization hit her and she stood stone still for several moments, staring off into nothingness. Cragen waited.

Finally Alex let out the breath she had been holding. "I thought…," she began slowly. "I thought that after dealing with Zapata and the cartel and WITSEC… that nothing could scare me anymore. But I woke up and they were right there. I hadn't even heard them! If Liv hadn't been there…" her voice trailed off. Her hands gripped the chair in front of her, clutching it so tightly that her knuckles whitened. Cragen wondered if she was even aware of it.

"Alex," Cragen's voice was soft and kind. "You know that we are here for you. If you ever need to… talk."

Alex's eyes shot back to him as if surprised to remember that he was still here. She swallowed stiffly. "I know, Don."

"Do you need anything?"

Alex shook her head. "No, I'm fine. I'll, um…" Alex suddenly couldn't think of what she'd been meaning to say. "I should… get to the courthouse." She turned and practically fled out of the precinct, just passing Fin and Munch as they came in. They looked puzzled, but Cragen pursed his lips and shook his head, deflecting their questions for the time being. They would want to go up and check on Liv. Cragen knew Olivia well enough to know that all she wanted right now was to be left alone.

* * *

Elliot came straight to SVU after Mass. Cragen had texted him right around the closing benediction and filled him in on what happened the night before. When he got to the precinct, he didn't bother talking to anyone, but took the stairs two at a time as he bounded up them toward Olivia.

He opened the door slowly and peeked in. She was asleep. Elliot slipped inside and settled on one of the cots, two rows away from her. He didn't want her to feel crowded, but he wanted to be there whenever she woke up.

He lay down on his side, his eyes on Olivia. The bruises on her face were brutally clear,, even in the shadows of the partially lit room. Her mouth was slightly open and he could see traces of blood where the cracked lips had split open again. Her left arm, in the cast, was flung out to the side and dangled over the edge of the bed. It would be sore whenever she woke up.

_I should have found her sooner_. That single though had echoed in his head ever since he saw her cuffed to the bed in that narrow room. _This never should have happened. I should have found her sooner. She's my partner and I didn't have her back. I wasn't there to keep her safe._

Elliot remembered the moment when they had burst through the door at the house Valenti indicated. He remembered Anthony Rivera's self-satisfied smirk and how that had turned to horrified disbelief when he realized the police had come for him and who they were looking for.

"_She's mine!" he screamed as Fin slapped the handcuffs on him, none too gently. "Mine, you can't have her!" Elliot got in his face, his fists trapped at his sides. He was afraid that if he touched the man, he would kill him. _

"_Where is she?" Elliot yelled._

_Rivera laughed. "Even if you find her, it's too late. She's mine. She'll always be mine!" _

"_Elliot," Cragen intervened. "He's not going to say where she is. Let's just get him out of here and get started looking."_

"_Elliot?" Rivera echoed with a tone of surprise. "She cried for you, d'you know that?" His voice rose as he imitated Olivia. "_Elliot… Elliot, please!" _he whimpered. Cragen planted his palm firmly in the middle of Elliot's chest to halt him from charging at Rivera. _

"_Stabler, go find her. I don't care if you have to tear this house down to do it, but find her."_

_Elliot nodded sharply and whirled around. Even as the police dragged Rivera away, his taunting voice followed Elliot. _

"Elliot?" This voice was not mocking and was not a memory. Elliot opened his eyes. Olivia was awake now, lying on her side and watching him.

"Liv," he breathed. "How're you doing?"

Olivia ignored the question. "El, there's something I need to go do."

He waited.

"I need to see Harris."

* * *

**A/N - I'm really sorry for the extended absence. **

I promised I wouldn't just leave this story hanging, and so you can all trust that I _will_ finish it, just maybe not as quickly as I would like to. Hopefully I`m back on track now, though.**  
**

Enjoy the read and please **Review!**


	23. Chapter 23

Alex was halfway to the courthouse before she remembered that it was Sunday and the courthouse offices would be closed. She cursed aloud and turned, not really with any direction in mind. She drove through the mid-morning traffic, barely seeing street signs or anything around her. At one point, she went to switch lanes and was only stopped by the blaring car horn coming from the blind spot. She jerked back into the center of her lane, gasping as her fingers clutched the wheel.

It had been a while since she had felt such raw fear. She had lived with it daily in WitSec, and again under constant death threats for her work with the ICC in The Hague. Now, after waking up to the sound of gunshots and the sight of two would-be-killers standing over her, that fear was rushing back and threatening to overwhelm her.

After Zapata had his men shoot her, her life was over. The physical recover was quick enough, but her life was gone. In an instant, she had lost everything she had, everything she was. She knew that she would never forget the look on Olivia's face that night that she had disappeared into Witness Protection. Alex shivered.

Somehow, her car had taken her back to her apartment. She parked, but didn't even unbuckle her seat belt. Alex sat there, trembling, and the silence seemed to cave in on her.

She remembered the months of loneliness, waiting – hoping – for word that she could come back to New York. She remembered the constant temptation to pick up the phone and call… someone – anyone. What she would have given even to call Olivia and hear her voice… even though she knew she couldn't have said anything. She never gave into that temptation, though.

The worst part came about a year in. She woke up one day and realized that the temptation to contact her old life was fading. She knew that if she called Olivia, she wouldn't know what to say. If she went back to the City, she would feel out of place. And if… if someone called her "Alex," she would probably start to cry. That was one thing that she had learned about herself in WitSec: Alexandra Cabot did _not_ cry. She never had. Emily, apparently, did.

Not long afterwards, she had been called back to testify. It was like standing on the beach and taking a tsunami full in the face. The force of emotions that swept over her was crushing. Nothing made her happier than to see Olivia and Elliot when she came back to testify against Connors. But then she stepped into the courtroom and, for no more than an instant, she froze. She didn't think anyone noticed; she recovered quickly. But it was there. Being back there, seeing her old friends… it all just reminded her of everything she had lost. When Elliot and Liv stayed with her as her protective detail, something seemed stiff, lost. She had come home, only to discover that she didn't know how to be home. When she stepped off the stand, she knew they had won. She also knew she had to disappear again.

WitSec took her to a new location and gave her a new identity. She wasn't there very long before she got the news that she was free. Connors had been extradited and she could return to Manhattan.

She had to start all over. Her apartment was gone, her job had been handed over to Casey Novak, her mother had died while she was hiding in Wisconsin, and she didn't even know how to go about reconnecting with her friends. So she got a new apartment and a new job, and she kept to herself. She could have called Olivia or Elliot or Casey… Every once in a while, she would pick up the phone to call, but she didn't. Because she was terrified that in her time in WitSec, she had lost more than just a few years. She was terrified that she had lost herself.

_Yes,_ Alex decided, sitting by herself in the subterranean parking garage, _yes, I know what fear is._ She hadn't woken up until she heard the gunshot. For a moment, she had thought that Connors had come back for her. But then she opened her eyes and saw the bullet burrow into the chest of the man next to her.

_Olivia came over to her. "Alex," she said, "Alex, are you okay?" Alex sat up mutely and nodded. Her hand fumbled for the phone that she had left on the table next to her. "Alex," Olivia's voice held a strange note in it and Alex turned to really look at her for the first time since waking. Olivia looked… scared. "Alex, did they… did you hear…?" her voice trailed off._

_Alex shook her head. "I just woke up." She glanced down at the corpse beside her and saw again what she had already seen, but had not had time to process. "They were going to rape me," she whispered matter-of-factly. _

_Olivia bit her lip. "They thought you were me." She didn't know why they were both whispering. "They were coming to kill me. And they saw you…" Olivia's eyes were focused on some point far in the distance and her voice was suddenly harsh as she repeated the man's words. "She's pretty hot," Olivia quoted "And really, what's one or two more after everything else?" Alex felt a chill run down her spine. _

"_Liv," Alex said, reaching a hand out to rest on the detective's arm. Olivia flinched slightly, but let Alex's hand stay. "It's alright. You're safe. I'm safe. They," she nodded at the bodies on the ground, "can't hurt you."_

"_No. They can't," Olivia agreed. "But there could be others." _

Alex finally realized what she was afraid of. She got out of her car and headed upstairs.

The whole time she had been in Witness Protection, Alex had missed having friends. The loneliness was overwhelming. She hated having to lie to everyone she met, having to concoct a history she had never lived. She hated not having a single person in her life who knew who she was or who she could really talk to. She hated that she had become the reclusive woman who stayed inside with the curtains drawn because she was afraid of the world outside and the people it held.

It had taken her years to regain any semblance of normalcy in her friendships again. It was rough when she first reconnected with SVU. And, though she would never admit it, part of the reason she went to The Hague was because she was too much of a coward to stay and try to rebuild her life. Sometimes it just took too much.

And now… now, Alex was afraid for Olivia. The Italian mob could easily surpass the Cartels in persistence if they really wanted Olivia dead. _What if they take her away?_ _What if, after everything that has happened, WitSec rips her away from here, from us, from the people who love her and want to help her? What will she do" _Underneath these thoughts was an even smaller, quiet one; a lost and helpless cry: _What will I do?_ Alex was a little ashamed to admit even to herself that she was so selfish.

But even worse than the idea that she might lose Olivia to WitSec was the possibility – _no, _Alex thought grimly, _the distinct probability_ – that whoever tried to kill her last night would come back again.

* * *

"_I need to see Harris."_

Olivia's words echoed in Elliot's mind. He didn't know what to do. "You sure?" he asked hoarsely.

She looked away from him and responded with a slight, slow nod. "I want to do this," she said.

Elliot regarded her warily. "Alright. Do you want me to come with you?" He assumed that was the only reason she would have said something to him before just going. Olivia shrugged. He figured that was her way of saying yes without it seeming like she was asking for help. "It'll have to wait till tomorrow. It's Sunday and you can't go in there to see him as a cop. We'll have to wait for regular visiting hours."

Olivia hunched her shoulders. "_You can't go in there as a cop." _He was right. She couldn't go in as a cop… because she had failed as a cop. She had failed to protect herself, failed to get the bad guys and instead they had gotten her. She didn't feel like a cop now, she felt like a victim. "Yeah, that'll be fine," she said quietly.

Elliot was scared. He had seen Olivia angry, seen her upset and frustrated almost to the point of tears. He had seen her on the days that a particular case or even just the job in general got to be too much. But he had never seen her like this. "Liv," he began slowly, "Olivia, tell me what I can do to help."

Olivia sat up and shook her head. Her eyes were closed. "There's nothing, El. I'm fine."

He sat up as well. Suddenly he could hear Rivera's voice in his head, mocking him. "_She cried for you, d'you know that? 'Elliot… Elliot, please – help me!'" _Elliot felt the rage flow through him to the tips of his fingers. He flexed his hands and placed them on his knees. His hands clenched, trying to grip something to hold him to reality as the anger built inside of him. _I wasn't there, _he berated himself. _I wasn't there when she needed me. I couldn't protect her._

Olivia watched as he tensed. She knew her partner. She knew the anger that was gripping him. She had worked with him long enough to know his moods. She sighed a little, suddenly feeling very tired. She just didn't have it in her right now to deal with Elliot's moods. She didn't want to hear that he was sick of having to look over his shoulder to protect her… she didn't want to hear the insinuations that she couldn't protect herself. She didn't want to hear it because she knew that it was true – she hadn't protected herself and now he'd always remember that when they were working. It was exactly why she hadn't told him the first time Harris had attacked her. But most of all, Olivia just didn't want to deal with an angry, rage-filled man; she'd had enough of that recently.

"Elliot, I'm fine," she broke the silence, her voice calm as she tried to reassure him. "I just… need to be alone for a bit."

Elliot stood. Olivia felt his shadow fall over her, but didn't move. She just looked at him and waited. "Alright," he said gruffly.

As soon as the door closed, Olivia felt guilty. She didn't want to drive Elliot away, but she just… Olivia put her head in her hands, her elbows braced on her knees. The cast was rough and limited the movement of her hand; it was also starting to itch. _I just don't know_, she thought. _I don't know what to do; I don't know how to deal with this. I need to do _something!_ But I don't know what…_

She stood up and started pacing, trying to think and to keep herself from breaking down. _Alright, _she told herself firmly,_ I was abducted. I was raped. I was tortured._ It hurt just to think those phrases. _I'm alive. I always told victims that the most important thing was that they survived. I've done that. _She paused slightly, and then amended that thought. _I've survived so far. Someone is trying to kill me. So I need to keep staying alive._

Olivia's pacing took her right to the door of the crib and she looked out for a moment to see the rest of the squad there, going about their regular business. It brought a feeling of comfort. _Somebody almost killed Alex. I need to check on her and make sure she's okay. _Olivia remembered with a pang the conversation of the two men the previous night. _Whoever wants to kill me is probably also trying to kill the other surviving women. I need to check on them. _

Her body ached as she walked around, but she ignored it. Somehow, just the process of thinking through what she needed to do was helping her to clear her head. _I need to get in touch with Donatello and figure out what's going on with the case. I need to know what they have and what they might need from me. I need to know what's being done to help the other women to make sure they get the proper therapy and rehabilitation – and immigration help if they were brought here illegally. _

_I need to get _**my** _life back._ For some reason, that sounded oddly fierce and possessive even in her own thoughts. _I need to get back to work, but I know they're going to make me take some time off and get my head shrunk and all… so I guess the first step there is to set up a meeting with Huang. I need to get a new driver's license, cancel my credit cards and get them replaced, get a new phone, see if I can find my spare set of keys for my car… And I'll put in a few calls and see when my apartment will be cleared so I can go back. _Another voice in the back of her mind protested that idea, _no, if I go back to my apartment, they'll just send someone else after me._

"Damn it!" Olivia cursed, kicking at one of the beds in frustration. That resulted in nothing more than a shooting pain that jolted up her leg. Olivia grit her teeth and balled her good hand into a fist. _Damn it, damn it, damn it!_ What had started as just a simple set of goals like staying alive had soon snowballed into an overwhelming mass of a million things she had to do. Her foot was throbbing now and that seemed to have also awakened the dormant pain in her back, her arm, her ribs, and every inch of her bruised and abused body. _Well, I guess one more thing on that list is getting back to my apartment at least to get the pain meds the doctor prescribed._

* * *

**A/N: **So it's a little shorter than my usual chapters, but that's okay. This is really going to be my first time actually trying to deal with the recovery side of rape, so you guys will have to let me know how I'm doing as the story progresses.

**Please Review!**_  
_


	24. Chapter 24

Olivia came down the stairs slowly. She knew something was off. Fin and Munch were both at their desks with paperwork in front of them, but neither of them was working. Elliot was lurking outside Cragen's office. Olivia could see the shadows of two men besides Cragen; they appeared to be having a heated discussion.

Olivia looked at Fin, who was the closest to the foot of the stairs and nodded toward the office. "What's going on?"

"I don't know. It's about you, though, so just go on in."

"Thanks," Olivia murmured. _What now?_ She crossed the squad room. Elliot looked up as she approached. "Elliot…" She remembered how short she had been with him earlier and felt guilty all over again. "I'm sor-"

Elliot cut her off. "You have nothing to apologize for, Liv. Nothing." He couldn't say what made him do it, but he stepped forward. Before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled Olivia into a hug and had his arms wrapped around her.

Olivia stiffened when he reached toward her, but then returned the embrace. _This is Elliot_, she thought. _I'm safe here._ "Thanks," she whispered into his shoulder. She could feel his breath against her hair and the warmth of his strong arms. For a brief moment, Olivia allowed herself to relax completely. When Olivia pulled away from the hug, she looked Elliot straight in the face. "I'll let you know if I need anything," she said in response to their earlier conversation.

"I'll be here." Elliot replied.

"So who's in there with Cragen?"

"Witness Protection. They think that you should-" Elliot didn't get to finish his sentence.

Cragen had been expecting the disturbance, but the two Marshalls from WitSec startled when Olivia burst through the door.

"Detective Benson, we are with the US Marshall Service-" one of them began.

"I know. I'm not interested. Leave." Olivia was upset and curt.

"Detective, the threat against you is serious and we think that you should consider-" The second Marshall tried to explain. Olivia rounded on him and he shrank back under the force of her gaze.

"I don't run."

"I told you gentlemen that this is how she'd take it." Cragen seemed almost amused by the scenario playing out in front of him.

The first Marshall shot him a rude glance as if to say, "You're not helping here." Cragen shrugged.

Olivia and the second Marshall were still engaged in a silent stare-down, which she was obviously winning.

"Fine," he conceded eventually. "If you change your mind though," he handed her a card with contact information for the regional Marshall office, "don't hesitate to get in touch."

As soon as they were gone, Olivia slid into a chair, her head in her hands. Cragen came around his desk and sat in another chair, angled toward hers. He sat in silence, waiting for her to be the first to speak. It wasn't until he heard the quiet _plink_ of a teardrop hitting the floor that he realized she was crying. "Olivia?"

Olivia sat up, hurriedly brushing her good arm across her face. He could still see the moisture glistening on her checks. "I'm sorry, Captain."

"Olivia, I can promise you that no one in this squad would think any less of you for crying – or anything else for that matter." She nodded, but he could see that she didn't believe him. "While you're in here, though…" He reached over to pick up a bag on the floor beside his desk. "We've been working on putting some stuff together for you."

She took the bag hesitantly and peered inside. There was a purse inside, passably close to her old one. She picked up the purse and felt something move inside. Olivia opened it to see a cell phone box and a new wallet.

"You know, I never thought there was anything that could make a bureaucrat work on a Sunday. But apparently some of Munch's conspiracy theorist contacts actually work for Big Brother. They've replaced your driver's license; we got you a new phone and ported in all your old contacts. While you were missing, of course we were monitoring your credit cards and they haven't been used, but you should probably call the bank tomorrow."

Olivia was stunned. "Thank you."

Cragen shrugged off her thanks. "You have a lot of people here who care about you. We want to do whatever we can to help. Don't be afraid to ask for anything."

"Cap'n," Olivia's voice was low and she didn't quite meet his eyes. "When can I come back to work?"

Cragen regarded her carefully. Her tactic was always to try to get back to work as soon as possible. "Do _you_ think you're ready to come back?" Olivia had to admit that she was not; she shook her head. "You can come back when you're ready. You're going to need to talk to the department shrink before you come back, though. And IAB is probably going to want to talk to you too."

Her shoulders slumped. Cragen hated seeing her look so defeated, but he didn't know what to do. "You survived, Liv. You're going to get through this."

* * *

When Olivia was ready to leave the station house, Elliot offered to drive her. Cragen's orders had been explicit – Olivia was not to be left alone so long as her life was threatened.

"Where to?" Elliot inquired.

"Alex."

The afternoon traffic was heavy. Olivia decided to take the chance to call the hospital.

"This is Olivia Benson; I'm calling to get the results on a rape kit that was performed yesterday." After she gave the nurse the pertinent information and verified her identity, there was a pause as the woman on the other end of the line went to look up the information.

"Yes, ma'am, I have that information right here for you… ah, here it is. The pregnancy test was negative and you are clear of any STIs. Come back in another three months and we will run another round of tests to confirm, but other than that, you are all clear."

"Thank you." Olivia hung up the phone. She looked out the window at the columns of cars that filled the street. "I'm not pregnant," she said so softly that Elliot could barely hear her.

He looked over at her; the traffic was at a complete stand-still, so taking his eyes off the road didn't matter. "That's good," he said awkwardly.

"Yeah." It was a long and silent trip the rest of the way to Alex's apartment, with only a brief stop at a pharmacy to refill Olivia's prescriptions.

When they got to her building, Olivia and Elliot stepped out of the elevator with frank curiosity. They had not been to Alex's new apartment since she had come out of Witness Protection. Alex's tastes had always strayed toward the expensive and extravagant, but this was a little overkill. In addition to being a gorgeous building, inside and out, in an expensive part of town, the apartment complex was equipped with every security measure possible. Both the front and back doors could only be opened by finger-print scan. Guest fingerprints had to be confirmed by the owner of the apartment they were visiting and both the fingerprints and photographs of every entrant were stored in a secure, remotely-housed database. The elevators that went down to the garage could only be opened by the same system.

Alex opened the door before they knocked. They had buzzed when they arrived and she'd had to press her thumb against the fingerprint pad in her apartment in order to grant them entrance.

"Paranoid, much?" Elliot asked as he stepped into the posh, three-bedroom apartment.

Alex shrugged. "I found this place when I got out of WitSec. By the time I felt safe enough to consider moving elsewhere, it had already become home." She glanced at Olivia. "This would probably be the safest place for you to stay, if you want."

Olivia nodded. "Are you sure? I don't want to put you in any more danger."

"WitSec offered her protection today," Elliot stated, knowing full well that Olivia would not bring it up of her own accord. "She turned it down."

"Really?" Alex asked Olivia in astonishment. "Why?"

"These bastards have taken enough from me. I'm not going to give up my life; I'm not going to run. Not from scum like them."

* * *

The three of them spent the afternoon safely holed up in Alex's apartment. Olivia wanted to find out everything that had happened since she had disappeared. She curled up on one of the couches, her legs tucked up under her and a blanket pulled tight around her. Alex had vanished into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

"Did I do the right thing?" Elliot had never heard her sound so forlorn and uncertain. He didn't need to ask what she was referring to.

"I think so." He looked at her evenly. "You always said that if they made you change your ways, if they made you hide, then they won. You remember the first time you told me that?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded. "That was the Richard White case… God, that seems like so long ago…"

Alex reappeared balancing three mugs of coffee. She sat them down on the table and settled into her comfy armchair. Olivia reached out for hers and cradled the warm mug in her good hand. So much had happened recently, she didn't even know where to begin. She took a long sip of the coffee. The heat rushed into her, seeming to fill her down to the tips of her toes.

"So," Olivia started, "Walk me through this from your guys' end. What happened?" Maybe hearing the week's events from their side would help her make sense of things.

"We didn't know you were missing until IAB turned up at the station house Saturday morning," Elliot answered. "Homicide found one of your bullets in 4 dead guys in an alley way – at first IAB thought you'd gone rogue or something."

"They would," Olivia snorted. "But I only shot one of them."

Elliot nodded. "The others were shot in the back, probably after you were knocked out. Someone just picked up your gun to do it."

"What about that woman? Who was she? Did you find her family?"

Elliot shook his head slowly. "She's still listed as a Jane Doe in the morgue."

Olivia fell silent. She turned the coffee mug around and around in her hand. Elliot and Alex shared a quick glance. This quiet, uncertain Olivia was new to both of them and they didn't know quite how to proceed. Finally it was Olivia who spoke again, "Go on."

Elliot cleared his throat. "Yeah, so we knew there was something off. We got a list of people with a grudge against you – lemme tell you, that's a long list! – and started going through, meeting with them, talking with parole officers… you know the drill. We didn't get to Harris until Monday afternoon." He noticed Olivia tense up when he said the man's name. "I should have known he'd be involved, we should have gone to talk to him sooner… maybe then we could've found you earlier…" His voice trailed off when he noticed Olivia shaking her head.

"He wouldn't have given anything away in questioning. And you wouldn't have been able to get a warrant to search the storage unit."

"Well, but once we saw him, it was pretty easy to tell it was him. That would've gotten us a warrant anyway."

"What, that bite on his face?" Olivia smiled a little. "I'm glad that helped. But, um… it wouldn't have helped if you had questioned him before you did. They moved me right after, um..." her voice was faltering and she took a quick sip of her coffee to steady herself. _I wonder if Alex has anything stronger,_ she thought momentarily, but then immediately squashed that idea. _No. I will not be my mother._ "If you had questioned him earlier, the mark wouldn't have been there yet and then you would have just moved on down the list. You would have had no reason to come back and double check Harris."

"True," Elliot conceded. "Anyway, as soon as we got into that storage unit, we had the DNA to nail him."

"You found that? Good."

"That was good thinking."

Olivia sucked in a deep breath. "Harris tried to kill me after I bit him. Jay stopped him though. But then after… after Jay took his turn," she spat the words and then moved on quickly, not wanting to leave time for them to interject or comment, "Harris told him to 'get rid of me.' I thought they were going to kill me. I wanted to preserve some evidence… to leave some trace behind…." She paused.

Elliot was shocked into silence. She had never spoken about what happened between her and Harris in the basement of Sealview – never once in all the years since. He had known that, in the past week, she had been raped, probably multiple times. But her shocking bluntness was nevertheless completely unexpected.

"So after you found Harris, then how'd you connect that to the warehouse?"

"We didn't," Elliot said simply. "The trail went cold fast. Harris wouldn't talk, no matter what kind of deal Alex offered him. Finding you was just pure luck. We caught a case – a dead girl washed up in the East River. She was pregnant and showed signs of long term abuse. We tracked her abuser through the fetal DNA. He said that he had bought her from a human trafficker. He agreed to flip in exchange for federal witness protection. He gave us information that led us to a website where there was a, um, live auction."

Olivia's face was drawn and pale. She looked away for a moment, staring out the window across the city. She nodded for Elliot to continue.

"They showed a video… of you." Olivia was as immobile as a statue. "At first, you were talking and then-"

"I remember," Olivia cut him off. "What then? You traced the ISP?"

Elliot nodded. "We got a helicopter; we had SWAT meet us there. But by the time we got there, you were already gone. Valenti had ordered his men to kill all the women. Some of them took the chance to rape them one last time – that's really the only reason any of them were still alive when we got there. When we realized you were already gone… we had Valenti's computers, but it would have taken hours – maybe even days – to find the records of where he sent you. Fin and I convinced him to tell us where you were. He brought us to Rivera's house… that's when we found you."

Olivia closed her eyes. "It really was just sheer, dumb luck that you found me then, wasn't it? If the timing had been any different, I would have been dead in that warehouse before you got there. Or I would have been gone, stuck with Rivera until you stumbled over the info in Valenti's records."

"We still would have found you."

"No," Olivia said, shaking her head. "He would have killed me if he thought you were onto him. I'll bet that when the Feds track down the other women Valenti sold, they're all either dead or moved somewhere we won't be able to find them."

The realization of how close she had come to _not_ being found was overwhelming. If things had not worked out just the way they had… _Oh God_. Olivia felt her stomach churning. Before she even knew that she was moving, she was in the bathroom, on her knees, vomiting. Her hand was burning and she felt something warm on her chest. _Shit_. She had spilled her coffee when she dashed for the bathroom. She hadn't even remembered it was in her hand.

Alex came in behind her and sat down next to her on the floor. She rested her hand lightly on Olivia's shoulders as the detective's trembling eased. Olivia wiped her arm over her mouth and slid back to sit on the floor with her back against the wall. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her folded arms. Her eyes were closed and she focused on trying to take deep, even breaths. It took a while before she had herself under control enough to open her eyes and look at Alex. There was a quiet yelp from out in the living room and Olivia raised her eyebrow quizzically.

Alex leaned her head out of the bathroom without getting up. "I think Elliot's foot just found another piece of your coffee cup. He's getting it cleaned up."

"Sorry," Olivia said quietly. Her shoulders hunched up as she drew in on herself. "I just…" She shivered.

Alex reached out one hand toward her. Olivia didn't say anything, but put her hand in Alex's. There were no words that Alex could give, but just that little bit of comfort helped.

* * *

**A/N** - this story is not an EO romance or an AO romance. My newest story, "An Overwhelming Loss" might be developing into an AO romance though. Aren't I awful? Using one story to put in a plug for my other one...

**I like reviews! **


	25. Chapter 25

_Sunday Evening_

Later that night, Olivia was relieved to finally be able to take a real shower – though it took a while, even with Alex's help, to wrap her cast with enough layers of plastic that it would be safe from the water. The luxury of Alex's apartment was obvious even in the bathroom; Olivia mentally compared it to her own apartment and reckoned that just this bathroom was about half the size of her bedroom. The carpet was thick and soft beneath her feet. She slid her bare feet through the plush material as she undressed. She reached into the shower to turn on the water and a gush of warm streams jetted out. The steam rose quickly to fog up the room as Olivia basked in the heat. The water felt incredibly good as it ran over her body, washing away the traces of the last week.

Alex pulled out a stack of paperwork that she had to go over in preparation for court the next morning. She kept an ear out for Olivia, in case she needed anything, but all she heard was the running water. Alex sighed as she looked back at the papers in her lap – she was prosecuting the rape case of an 18-year-old jogger. Closing statements were tomorrow and she knew that the jury was going to acquit. Olivia had been the arresting officer and the one who had heard the perp's confession. Unfortunately, the confession had been an excited utterance upon his arrest and Olivia was the only one to have heard it. Since she had not been present to testify in the trial, the People's case was weak. Alex had already lost three cases in the past week because of Olivia's absence. She had several more on the docket in which Olivia would be a key witness. Alex knew that Olivia's testimony would be subject to scrutiny and doubt for a while; defense lawyers would claim that her recent personal experience clouded her judgment and led her to unfair bias. More rapists would go free. Alex realized she had been reading the same page for five minutes. She took off her reading glasses and rubbed her brow in frustrated exhaustion.

"Alex?" Olivia's voice drifted over from the bathroom doorway. Alex turned around to see the detective wrapped in one of her thick green towels. "Do you have some clothes I can borrow? All of mine are still at my apartment…"

"Oh, of course." Alex stood and beckoned Olivia to follow her into the master bedroom. "Grab whatever you want."

"Thanks." Olivia hastily grabbed the first things she saw and turned to head into the guest bedroom, which was down the hall next to Alex's home office.

When Olivia turned around, Alex could see the slashing red lashes that crossed her back, appearing over the protective cover of the towel. She sucked in a sharp breath at the sight. Olivia stiffened as she realized what had caused the reaction. She drew the towel up higher around her shoulders and hurried out of the room.

After Olivia dressed, she rejoined Alex in the living room. Alex had poured herself a glass of red wine; she offered one to Olivia, but the detective declined. "After watching my mother all those years, I think it's probably best if I avoid alcohol for a while. I don't want it to be a crutch for me like it was for my mother." She sat down on the couch next to Alex. "Do you ever think that some things are just always going to happen, no matter what you do to avoid them?" she asked.

Alex set aside her paperwork and wine and looked hard at Olivia. "How do you mean?"

Olivia shrugged. "Well, just with me being who I am – the child of a drunk and a rapist. As much as being raped has always been my worst fear, it's also like I always expected it to happen to me at some point." _Maybe it's some sort of cosmic payback for my being a life that was never supposed to exist, _Olivia thought. "And really, I picked a job that put me in the path of violent perverts, what did I expect was going to happen?"

"Olivia, none of what happened to you is your fault in any way. And, no, I don't think that there was any kind of immutable Fate saying that this was going to happen. You didn't ask for this, you didn't deserve this – even your parentage has nothing to do with this. You were raped because Lowell Harris is a sick, twisted son of a bitch who should rot in jail for what he did to you. As far as your job goes… Olivia, you picked a job that allowed you to get justice for the victims. I have talked to so many victims who say that your fortitude and your determination to protect them and find their attacker gave them the strength to go through with a trial and to start working toward recovery. You make a _difference_ in people's lives."

Olivia nodded absently. "Maybe," she said dismissively. There was a long pause and Olivia shifted restlessly on the couch. "Alex, why did it take you so long to come back to us after WitSec?"

Whatever Alex may have been expecting, that wasn't it. She twisted her reading glasses in her hand as she considered her answer; one end of the glasses tapped delicately against her lower lip as she thought. "Witness Protection changed me. For a while, I lost a bit of my sense of self. When I came back, I didn't know how to be the person I was before. I was afraid of coming back to my old life and my old friends," she nodded slightly toward Olivia. "Because I was afraid that you would see through me and realize how lost I was."

"But Alex, you should have known that we would be here for you. There was no reason for you to go through that alone. Two years you were out of protective services before you came back to us!"

"I know that now," the blonde retorted. "But then… I was so afraid that I had lost a part of myself, I couldn't bear the thought of being near someone who knew me and would recognize just how broken I was."

"That's ridiculous."

Alex smiled. "I agree. It's good, then, that you aren't going to repeat my mistake."

* * *

_Monday Morning_

Elliot showed up the next morning just as Alex was getting ready to leave for court. When the door opened, he whistled in shock, "What happened to you, counselor?"

Alex waved him into her apartment and shut the door. She had been working diligently for a solid ten minutes to disguise a swelling black eye with layers and layers of make-up. "Your partner," she answered. "I don't think she remembers it, though." Elliot looked around the apartment.

"Is she still sleeping?"

"Yes. I don't think she's gotten more than a few hours all night. You're welcome to stay here until she's ready to go; I wouldn't recommend trying to wake her."

"Is that what happened?"

Alex nodded. "She kept having nightmares and waking up. At one point, though, she started screaming but was still dead asleep. I tried to wake her and she panicked. I doubt she even woke up enough to know what was going on." She gestured helplessly at her face, "I don't know how I'm going to explain this at court."

"How about 'I'm sorry, Your Honor, but one of my detectives punched me in the face'?" Elliot joked.

"Somehow I don't imagine that would go over very well," Alex replied with a smile. "And I doubt Olivia would like it." Alex snapped shut her compact of concealer. "I think that's about all I can do. How bad does it look?"

"Like you ran headfirst into somebody's fist," Elliot replied honestly.

"Great," Alex picked up her purse and headed for the door. "There's coffee still in the pot. Make sure you leave some for Liv."

She paused again with one foot out the door. "Elliot," she said softly. He looked up; her tone was not that of their usual banter. "She needs a friend right now, not a partner-cop. Just talk to her, alright?" She disappeared into the hallway without waiting for an answer.

Elliot flopped onto the couch with the TV remote in hand. He flipped through a couple channels; his mind stuck on Alex's parting comment.

Olivia stumbled out of the bedroom around 10am and headed straight for the kitchen. "El?" she mumbled, "Where's Alex?"

"She left for court already," he replied.

Olivia had found the coffee pot and was busy fixing a cup for herself. "El," she called out, her voice carrying through the apartment, "You want a cup?"

"Nah, I'm good," Elliot replied; his voice carried at least as well as hers did.

Olivia balanced her coffee carefully in her one good hand as she took a seat in Alex's armchair. "So, Cragen give you the day off or something?"

"Nope," Elliot shook his head. "I am on official protective duty for a while. We thought you'd prefer that over having a squad car follow you around everywhere."

"So I'm stuck with you?" Olivia snorted. "Maybe I'd rather the squad car."

"Well then I guess you don't want this." Elliot reached over the side of the couch and lifted up a familiar duffel bag. "After I went to all the trouble of going to your apartment and getting it for you…" he tsked. "Really, Liv, I'm hurt."

"Fine, I guess you can hang around," Olivia gave an exaggerated sigh. "Give me that." She remembered to put her coffee down before standing up this time. Elliot passed her the bag and she headed back into Alex's guest room.

Elliot smiled a little. He heard some knocking around as Olivia struggled with her cast; at one point it sounded like she stumbled into a wall and he heard quiet cursing. Then the door slammed as she headed into the bathroom.

When Olivia came out again, she looked much more like her old self. The bruises were obvious, her arm was in a sling, and the way she carried herself when she walked made it obvious that she was still in some pain, but that fierce determination was back in her eyes and in the set of her jaw.

"So what's the plan?" Elliot asked. He didn't know if she still wanted to make the trip up the prison and if she had changed her mind, he didn't want to bring it up.

"Where is he?" Olivia didn't need to clarify who she was talking about.

"Sing-Sing." The prison was about an hour's drive outside of Manhattan. Usually remanded prisoners were placed in holding cells near the court they were to be tried in. But Harris was a paroled convict who had broken his probation so he automatically was sent back to the regular prison population, even as the new charges against him were still pending. Since he had been both a guard and an inmate already at Rikers, Alex had arranged for him to be placed at a different prison where he would not be able to weasel preferential treatment out of his former co-workers.

"Let's go."

They had spent enough time in a car together that the silence was not uncomfortable.

Olivia kept mulling over the conversation with Alex from last night. She didn't know what to make of the comment about not repeating Alex's mistakes.

"_I didn't know how to be the person I was before. I was afraid of coming back to my old life and my old friends,"_ Olivia remembered Alex's words. _But I don't do that,_ she thought. _Alex spent more than two years running away from us after Witness Protection. I know that the last week is going to have some lasting ramifications, but I've come home. I haven't run off to tuck away and hide myself from everything. It'll probably be a while before I can get back to work, but that's different. _

She wanted to just brush off the whole conversation from the previous night, but she knew that there had been something Alex wanted her to get. _"I couldn't bear the thought of being near someone who knew me and would recognize just how broken I was." _Olivia considered for a moment. She remembered all the times after particularly difficult cases that she had pushed away Elliot or Fin or anyone who expressed concern. After Gitano, she had been so upset with Elliot that she told Cragen she wanted a new partner. After Sealview, she had never spoken with any of them about what had happened, not even with Fin. There were other cases too… cases that hit her in the gut and wrenched her soul. And she never talked to anyone about it, preferring just to go home and try to push it all away rather than accept their sympathy and care.

What had she said to Alex last night? _"That's ridiculous."_ Olivia smiled a little. _Lawyers just love to trap people with their own words. _

They were almost at the prison when Elliot noticed Olivia's lips twitch up in a slight smile. His eyes flicked to her quickly and then back to the road. "Whatcha thinking?"

"Just about something Alex said."

Elliot turned into the prison parking lot, stopping to present his ID to the guard at the entrance. The guard waved him in. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

Olivia's eyes were on the high prison walls and barbed wire fences. "I'll tell you later."

They got out of the car. Both of them were well familiar with the procedure for entering a prison. They signed in, Elliot handed over his gun, and both of them emptied their pockets to show they weren't carrying in any contraband. Olivia stood stiff as one of the guards patted her down; it was standard operating procedure for visitors entering prisons, but it still bothered her. They heard the call go back for Harris to be taken to an interview room. Another guard gestured for them to follow him through the barred doors that led back into the prison.

Olivia heard Elliot step forward to walk beside her. She turned to him. "El… this is something I need to do alone."

"Are you sure?" Elliot's heart started pounding in his chest at the thought of his partner going alone to meet her attacker. _What if he tries something? What if he hurts her again and I'm not there to help her?_

"Yeah," Olivia nodded. She turned back to where the guard was waiting for her. "I'll see you in a bit." She went through the door and it clicked closed behind her.

Elliot tried to calm down. _I'm her partner; I should be there with her._ Then Alex's words came back to him: "_She needs a friend, not a partner-cop."_ Elliot took a deep breath. If this was something Olivia felt she needed to do alone, then he would stand by her decision. Elliot glanced at the clock; it was just past 11:30. He knew that he would be tense and on edge until Olivia was safely back out of the prison.

Olivia felt a shot of adrenaline run as the gate closed behind her. The guard leading her to Harris was walking in front of her and her stomach turned at the neatly pressed white shirt paired with the black pants and the thick belt. The man's baton swung alongside his leg as he walked. Olivia's mind tripped back to another prison at another time, where another man had led her down similar empty halls, past numerous thick, heavy, locked gates. Her breath was coming in short, shallow bursts of air and she tried to make herself breathe normally. _This is not Sealview. That man is not Harris. _

They rounded a corner and went through another gate; the guard called out as soon as they were through and it slid closed. Up ahead, Olivia could see Harris being brought in. He hadn't seen her yet. Olivia took in a deep breath. The sight of him in an orange prison jumpsuit and chains was a sharp reminder that – unlike that other time they had been together inside the walls of a prison – he was a prisoner and she was free.

The guard who had led her through the prison opened the door for her into the interview room. He stepped inside and waited for Olivia to enter before closing the door. The other guards had sat Harris in a chair and passed the chain of his handcuffs through a bar attached to the table. Olivia hovered near the door for a moment, suddenly uncertain.

"Go ahead, ma'am. I'll be right here if you need anything," the guard assured her.

Olivia stepped forward.

Harris looked up.

* * *

**A/N** - as always, reviews are very much welcome! I love getting feedback from all my readers. If you like something - tell me, because that makes me very happy. If you don't like something, tell me so that I can work on improving.

**Review!**


	26. Chapter 26

Harris's face was frozen in shock as Olivia slipped into the seat opposite him. "Seems like we've done this once before," she said evenly.

He recovered quickly and grinned. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you again, Olivia."

_Everything is a fucking game for him._ "It's Detective Benson," she corrected.

"Oh, I think we can drop the formalities after what we've shared," he smirked. Olivia felt her skin crawl. He looked at her appraisingly. "How many men have fucked you? You don't strike me as the kind to stick with a man long, more like the kind of filthy slut that fucks a man and leaves him." He leaned forward, sitting on the edge of his seat. "Do you even remember them all? The one-night stands, the drunken mistakes? The boyfriends that last for two or three dates and are gone?" He laughed. "But you will remember me. You will always remember me."

Olivia couldn't remain seating; her stomach was churning and her good hand balled into a fist. _I shouldn't have come here. This was a bad idea. _She was frozen, trapped. Her mind pulled back to Sealview, to the storage unit, to the feel of Harris on top of her, inside of her. His voice wrapped around her, sucking the life out of her.

"Are you going to be there at my trial? I want you to listen while I tell everyone how you wrapped your legs around me and pulled me into you. What will your co-workers think of you then? Or do they already know the kind of loose whore that you are? Is that how you got your gold badge? Screwed your way to it?"

_Liv! Get yourself together. Say something!_ She couldn't move, couldn't speak. When she finally managed to push sound past her vocal cords, her voice was tight and angry. "You are nothing. I didn't come here to listen to you spew your bile. I don't care what you have to say. I came here so that you would know..." She paused, "so that you would know that you failed. You're done. And you will spend the rest of your life rotting in prison."

Harris snarled, "You bitch! You think you can do this to me?"

"Not me; you did this to yourself." Olivia turned away from him, nodding to the guard that she was ready to leave.

"You'll never get over me!" Harris howled.

Olivia looked back as the door opened. "I've already wasted enough years being afraid of you." The gate slid closed behind her and only then did Olivia realized that her whole body was thrumming with adrenaline. Her muscles trembled as she walked away from him with her head held high. They turned another corner and the sounds of Harris' protests faded away behind them.

She didn't say a word to Elliot when she stepped back out into the entrance area. She grabbed her things from the desk and marched straight outside. Elliot hurried after her; she didn't look to the side, but she could hear his footsteps rush and then even out as he drew closer.

"Liv, what's –"

"Drive," she ordered curtly.

They were at least fifteen miles down the road before Elliot broke the silence. "You alright?" he asked quietly, not taking his eyes off the road.

"I'll be fine," Olivia huffed. She was staring out the window, watching the trees along the side of the road rush by.

"Alright." Another ten miles passed. "Where do you want to go?"

Olivia shrugged and then winced as the movement pulled tight the skin on her back. "Back to Alex's, I guess."

Elliot shook his head, "She's got court all day and we can't get in the building without her."

She sighed. "Back to the precinct, then."

"So, Liv…" Elliot was hesitant; this was unfamiliar territory for both of them. "You'll let me know if there's anything I can do for you?" It was somewhere between a statement and a question.

"You're already doing it," Olivia said softly, "just by being here." She shifted in her seat, turning a little to look at him. "I knew you were looking for me. And that… that helped."

Elliot grunted in acknowledgement, but Olivia could see his hands tighten on the wheel. "I should've gotten there sooner."

"You did the best you could."

"It wasn't enough." Olivia could hear the anguish in his voice. "It was almost twenty-four hours before I even knew you were missing! I should've known that Harris was going to make trouble; I should have been keeping an eye on him once he was released."

"There was no way you could have known, Elliot."

"But I should have."

Olivia almost wanted to laugh. _Why is it that, no matter what the situation is, I'm always the one reassuring him?_ "No, El. Trust me, there was nothing you could have done differently."

* * *

Olivia thought that she would feel at ease in the precinct, but instead she felt like she was in the way. She couldn't even do any paperwork until she was cleared to come back to duty. It didn't take her long to retreat to the crib.

She groaned as she lay back down onto the thin mattress. Her left arm hung across her chest, still in the sling. She heard the door open, but didn't move.

"Hey."

Olivia rolled over as Fin closed the door behind him. "Hey," she replied.

Fin sat down across from her. "You want to talk?"

Olivia scoffed. "That's all anyone seems to ask me now. That and 'are you alright?'"

"Get's old, doesn't it?"

"I just want to forget about all of it and move on. But I can't seem to do that."

"Donatello called a bit ago," he said, changing the subject.

"Yeah? What did she have to say?" Olivia sat up on the edge of her bunk.

"Valenti is scared; he's doing everything he can to try to get some leniency. He's some distant second cousin of one of the smaller families. He flipped on his cousin for arranging the hit on you the other night. After the Italians hear that he talked, nobody is going to stick their necks out to cover his crimes. Donatello says they don't think you are in danger."

"That's good." Olivia felt a weight lift off her. "How're the other victims doing?"

"As well as they can be. Donatello's good, she's got experience with this kind of case. They've got shrinks coming in to talk to the women. The Americans are all going back to their homes when they're ready. For the rest, those who want to go home are going and she's getting immigration papers pushed through for the ones who want to stay here. There's a regional house in Jersey where they can go to get English classes and job-training until they are ready to move out."

Olivia nodded. With the amount of human trafficking in the US, the Feds and NGO's were sponsoring houses like this all over the country.

"Has there been any luck tracking Mark yet?"

"The guy who drove you to Rivera's?"

"He was Valenti's second in command, I think," Olivia clarified as she nodded. "And he's still out there."

"We'll get him." Fin assured her. "Or, the Feds will. He's probably long gone from the City by now. They're looking for him."

Olivia took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "He's a bastard."

"They all are."

"Is Jay in custody?"

Fin blinked at the sudden transition. "Yeah, um, full name is Jason Marcos; he's at the prison ward at Bellevue. He was Harris' accomplice, wasn't he?" Fin knew that he was; he also knew that he was probably pressing perilously close to topics that Olivia didn't want to talk about.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah – what else do you know about him? He didn't strike me as the kind of guy to be involved in this sort of thing."

Fin tried to remember what Donatello had told them about the case. "One of the girls from the warehouse escaped on Friday and hitched a ride down to the FBI office in Philly. She said her brother had helped her break out. Her name's Shauna Marcos."

Olivia started. "Shauna?" she whispered. "I met her." Her mind was racing as she tried to mesh this new information with everything she had seen and heard. "That explains a lot. Why's he at Bellevue? He resisted arrest?"

"No, that's the funny thing. He was shot by one of Valenti's men before the SWAT raid. He's been touch and go, but the doctors said they think he'll make it. After that, we'll see what he has to say."

"Ok." Olivia pursed her lips and nodded. She got to her feet and walked over to the door of the crib. She leaned a shoulder against the door and looked out into the squad room. "I'll just be glad when all this is behind me."

Fin stood and approached her, taking up a mirror position facing her. He looked at her desk with its empty chair and distinct lack of paperwork. He knew that was what she was looking at too. "You know, Liv, I got your back."

Olivia looked up at him and smiled, though her eyes still held the ghosts of her tears. "I know, Fin. You always have."

* * *

Alex Cabot showed up at the precinct at three o'clock that afternoon. She headed straight into Cragen's office. "Is Tucker here yet?" she asked without preamble.

"I haven't heard anything," Cragen replied. "Why?"

"I heard IAB was planning to come and talk to Olivia this afternoon and cleared my schedule. After that issue with the Brady Harrison case, I just want to make sure I'm in the room when she talks to them."

"Good." Cragen nodded. "I think she and Elliot stepped out for coffee; they should be back in a bit."

Olivia walked back into the building a few minutes later carrying a tray of coffee cups. She dropped two coffees off at Fin and Munch's desk and had just come from giving one to Cragen when she spotted Alex at the top of the stairs. "Hey, if I'd known you were here, I would've picked up something for you–" She stopped when she looked at Alex's face. "My God, Alex, what happened?"

Alex reflexively reached up to touch her swollen eye. The numerous coats of cover-up had worn off throughout the day. "It's nothing." Olivia was climbing the stairs toward her.

"No, really, who did this? Someone you're prosecuting?"

"It was nothing, Liv. It was an accident."

"An accident? It looks like someone hit you! Are you pressing charges?"

"No, I'm fine. It was nothing, really. You were having a nightmare last night and I tried to wake you up."

Olivia felt like someone had punched her in the gut. "You're saying _I _did this?"

Alex nodded, her arms crossed delicately across her chest. "You were asleep. It was just an accident."

Olivia sank backward onto the couch at the top of the stair landing. "God, 'Lex, I'm sorry."

Alex sat down next to her. "Look, after everything you've been though, having nightmares like that is completely normal. I should have thought before trying to wake you ." Olivia didn't respond. Alex sighed; Olivia had always feared that her father's unknown genes had given her a propensity toward violence. "What were you dreaming about?"

Olivia shook her head. She remembered her dream vividly but she wasn't sure that she was ready to talk about it yet. Olivia closed her eyes. Her dream had been completely dark. _She couldn't see, couldn't move. But she could feel and she could hear. She heard Mark's voice taunting her, felt his hands roaming her skin. She felt him penetrate her and felt unbelievable pain rip through her. She tried to scream and scream, but there was no sound. _

She swallowed hard and looked sideways at Alex. "When the doctor did the rape kit, he described some injuries that I don't remember happening," she said slowly. "He said there was evidence of anal tearing. I know that they drugged me a couple times. Anything could have happened then." Her voice choked a little. "Alex, I don't even remember how many times they drugged me. There are hours of giant blanks in my memory and _I don't know what happened_."

"Every time I close my eyes," Olivia continued, "it's like I'm back there. And there are some things I remember and some things I don't and it all just gets mixed up in my head. And then I scream and I wake up and I can't remember where I am." Her voice was thick with emotion. "When I was there, it would take me hours to fall asleep. When I finally did, I'd just wake up screaming a few hours later from the nightmares." She stood up and walked over to the rail, looking out over the bullpen. Her voice was so quiet that Alex barely heard her. "At least now, waking up is an improvement."

Alex got up and joined her at the rail. "It will get better," she promised, "eventually."

"I know. Eventually."

* * *

IAB didn't show up until almost an hour later. Cragen pulled Tucker aside as soon as he walked in. Olivia and Alex watched as the two exchanged terse words before Cragen waved them down.

Elliot and Cragen were waiting with Tucker near an interview room when Alex and Olivia arrived.

"So," Alex started as soon as the door closed. "What would you like to discuss, Sergeant Tucker?"

"I'm sorry," Tucker said, looking at her. "I wasn't aware there would be anyone but myself and Detective Benson here. This is a simple IAB interview to determine Detective Benson's role in recent events and the impact they have had on her." He sat down at the table opposite Olivia.

"Well," Alex gracefully slid into the seat next to Olivia and folded her hands in front of her. "In light of IAB's history of making false allegations against SVU detectives, specifically Detective Benson, I am here as her legal counsel. I trust you have no objections to my presence on her behalf?"

Tucker forced a tight smile. "Of course not." He looked at Olivia. "Detective, can you tell me what happened last Friday night?"

Olivia took a breath. Last Friday seemed like so long ago; it was like dredging up memories from another life. "I was walking home from the subway station. I heard a woman in distress and entered an alleyway. I radioed for backup but was later informed that the perps were using a short-wave radio blocker. I discovered two masked men in the process of assaulting a female victim. I identified myself and ordered both of them to step away from the woman and get on the ground. They complied. A van pulled in behind me; I was expecting that it would be my backup arriving, but more masked men got out of the van. They drew their weapons, as did the two men who had already been there. There was a momentary stand-off while I attempted to negotiate. One of the men fired first." Olivia indicated the bandage on her upper right arm. "I returned fire. I believe I got off two or three shots. The other men overpowered me. They took my gun, pushed me to my knees, made me watch as they shot the other woman, and then they knocked me out. I do not know what happened to my gun or any of my personal effects that were in that alley."

Tucker nodded. Her account agreed with the evidence discovered at the scene. "And night before last in your apartment?"

"I woke up and heard movement in my living room. I heard unknown men discussing whether they were going to just kill Alex or whether they were going to take the time to rape her first."

"Alex? That would be Alexandra Cabot?" Tucker raised his eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Why was Ms. Cabot there?"

"What bearing can the reason for my presence in Detective Benson's apartment have on your investigation?" Alex interjected.

"Its fine, Alex," Olivia said. "I was released from the hospital with a concussion. The doctor recommended I have someone stay with me for at least twenty-four hours in case any problems arose." She tilted her head, as though waiting for Tucker to say something else to challenge her. "Like I was saying, I heard two men in my living room. From what I could tell, they thought that Alex was me. I got my backup weapon and opened the door. The man at the foot of the couch had a gun. I shot him. The second man drew his weapon and I shot him too."

"Neither of them fired at you?"

"No."

"Neither of them raised their gun to you?"

"No."

"Did you identify yourself as a police officer?"

"No."

Alex held her hand up, stopping Tucker just as he began his next question. "Do you have a point with this, Mr. Tucker? Detective Benson discovered two armed intruders in her apartment. These intruders expressed that their intention was to murder or possibly to rape and murder. Whether these threats were directed against Detective Benson or myself is irrelevant. Whether she identified herself as a police officer is irrelevant. She was off-duty, acting not as a police woman but as a private citizen acting in self-defense and in defense of a third-person. In fact, I fail to see why we are even having this conversation. The DA has already determined that no charges will be filed in this matter."

"I am merely wondering why we have two dead suspects rather than two suspects in custody. Detective Benson, you could have shot to injure. You could have identified yourself as a police officer and arrested them. Why did you shoot to kill?"

"It must have been a while since you were at the Academy, Tucker, but we're trained to shoot to kill. If you have to fire, you make sure the suspect goes down and stays down."

"Of course." He smiled tightly and Olivia decided that she really hated his smile.

"I think that we have covered everything that you need; you have Detective Benson's statement," Alex stated tersely.

"Not quite." Tucker folded his hands on the table and leaned forward, his eyes boring into Olivia's. "I think we still should discuss the matter of whether the Special Victims Unit is still an _appropriate_ place for Detective Benson to work."

_What?_ Olivia sat back as all the air sucked out of her lungs. _They can't pull me from SVU. They can't._

"Why?" Alex asked on Olivia's behalf.

"I should think it's obvious," Tucker said in surprise. "This experience may have negatively impacted Detective Benson's ability to maintain her impartiality during investigations. If Detective Benson shows signs of PTSD or Rape Trauma Syndrome, that might interfere with her doing her job and interacting with suspects."

"I'm sorry," Alex sounded cross and not particularly sorry at all. "Are you a qualified physician or psychiatrist to say how this experience may have affected Detective Benson and her ability to do her job?"

"Well, no, but –"

"And you are not her unit captain nor in any position that would give you leave to mandate a transfer."

"IAB is only interested in assuring that this unit has detectives who can do this job and operate at their highest level of performance."

"And would you transfer a traffic cop for being involved in an accident? Would you transfer a homicide detective if a member of their family was murdered?"

"Well, no…"

"Then I submit that any attempt on the part of IAB to recommend Detective Benson for transfer would be blatant discrimination and would be prosecuted as such."

Tucker was turning red; he was not used to this. Usually he questioned cops who were defended by union reps if they had a lawyer present at all. Alexandra Cabot was in a whole other league.

"Detective Benson will return to duty when approved by Captain Cragen after fulfilling whatever terms he deems necessary. If anyone has issue with this, it should be directed through the Chief of D's office, _not_ through IAB. Am I clear?"

Olivia could practically see the steam coming out of Tucker's ears, but he nodded jerkily.

"Let's go." Alex stood, pushing her chair back so that it slid noisily across the ground. Olivia got up with her and led the way out of the room. Elliot and Cragen were right outside. When Tucker stepped out, he didn't even say anything about the inappropriateness of Olivia's partner watching her IAB interview. He tucked his head and hurried out of the building."

Cragen's hands were in his pockets, but his countenance was beaming with pride. "Great job, Counselor," he complimented Alex. "It's good to see him flustered for once."

Olivia took in a deep breath and sighed, but this time it was a sigh of relief. "So what now, Captain?"

Cragen gave a pointed look to Elliot and Alex and they made excuses to step away. "Mandatory therapy at least once a week," he said once they were alone. "You pick the therapist. Doesn't have to be the department shrink."

"Alright."

"When you think you're ready, talk to Huang. Once he clears you, you're back in the office. Until then, you're on paid medical leave."

"'Back in the office'? Not in the field?"

"Definitely not until your arm is healed. Once you're back at work, we'll go from there."

* * *

**A/N** - I don't know why, but for some reason I feel particularly happy about this chapter. I think it's a good one. Let me know if you agree.

**Reviews make me happy!**


	27. Chapter 27

_Monday Night_

Olivia woke up screaming. She was crouched on the floor, curled in a ball with her arms up over her head, her wrists crossed as though to ward off a blow. Her breath came in ragged, uneven pants. Each gasp of air ripped through her as she wheezed through her sobs.

She couldn't remember getting out of bed. In the instant it had taken her to transition from nightmare to reality, her body had leapt to a defensive stance.

Olivia slowly lowered her arms as she tried to regain control of herself. Everything was dark. She couldn't see anything. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out where she was. Her toes curled into the carpet under her feet and Olivia almost started crying again in relief. The storage unit, the warehouse, and Rivera's basement all had either concrete or wood floor, not carpet. Wherever she was, it was not the place she had been in her nightmare.

She heard movement and immediately tensed, flinching away from the direction of the sound.

"Olivia, it's alright. You're safe here," Alex reassured from a safe distance away. She had gotten out of bed when she first heard Olivia whimpering in her sleep. It hadn't taken long for the whimpers to evolve into cries for help and then full-blown screams. Alex's eyes had already adjusted to the dark and she had seen the terror that Olivia's subconscious had exhibited in that moment between sleep and wakefulness. "It's just you and me; there's nobody else here."

Olivia shivered. Alex was wrong. She could still feel their hands on her, even now after waking, and the memory of their touch on her skin made her feel contaminated and dirty. She braced herself against the wall as she stood. As the adrenaline that had flooded her when she awoke slowly faded, she realized again how sore her whole body was. Her head throbbed, her arm was plagued with random stabbing pains and itches under her cast, her back was stiff and her legs ached. Olivia leaned back against the wall and groaned, wrapping her arms around her body. "I'm fine, Alex. I'm sorry for waking you. Go back to bed."

Alex had never felt so helpless. "Liv…"

"It was just a nightmare. It's not real." Olivia didn't know if she was speaking to herself or to Alex. She moved back toward the bed and sat, trying to breathe deeply and calm her rapidly beating heart.

"No. It's not real now. But it was." Alex stepped carefully toward the bed, unsure whether Olivia would allow her near. The detective's eyes followed her path toward the bed, but she said nothing in protest, so Alex sat a few feet away.

"Yes, Alex, thank you," Olivia's voice was haggard. "I realize that."

"I only meant –"

"I know what you meant." Olivia was too tired even to snap back at Alex, though her tone still carried a sharp bite. Her tone brooked no room for any discussion, so Alex simply waited until Olivia was ready to continue. Several minutes ticked by without another word.

"I have some over-the-counter sleeping pills," Alex ventured. "I use them sometimes when we have a particularly rough case. They help you sleep deeply enough that you don't really dream."

Olivia was shaking her head even before Alex finished talking. "I don't want drugs." She knew that she was being unnecessarily terse with Alex. The other woman was only trying to help her. Alex had stayed with her after the hospital and welcomed her into her apartment even after almost being raped and killed. Olivia felt early tendrils of guilt taking hold in her stomach. "Alex, please… I just need to be alone."

Alex tilted her head as she regarded Olivia. "Alright," she said. "Just let me know if you need anything." Once Alex left, Olivia found that she couldn't go back to sleep. She lay in the dark with the blankets pulled up to her chin, and waited for the sun to rise.

* * *

_Tuesday Morning_

She must have fallen asleep at some point because when Olivia woke up, the sun was streaming in through the blinds. She made her way to the kitchen, drawn by the scent of coffee that Alex had left in the pot for her. There was a note on the counter next to the coffee pot: "_Liv, I added you to my authorized entrant list, so you can get into the building and the apartment whenever you want. I'm in court all day, but drop me a message if you need anything." _

Olivia poured herself some coffee and leaned against the counter. This was the first time she had been alone since being rescued. She felt the beginning of panic rise up inside her, but stubbornly quelled it. The memory of what had happened haunted her sleeping hours, but she refused to let it make her fearful in her waking hours too. After her coffee, Olivia showered and got dressed. She could feel the sneaking presence of her memories lurking over her, but she shook them off.

She stepped out of Alex's apartment, but kept her foot in the door to keep it from closing behind her. She pressed her thumb against the keypad on the doorframe that took the place of a traditional lock-and key. Only when she saw the light change to green and heard the click as the lock disengaged did Olivia allow the door to swing shut.

The street outside was busy and Olivia felt herself resisting the urge to constantly look over her shoulder as she walked toward the subway station. The sidewalks were crowded and Olivia steeled herself every time someone brushed past her. _This is the same city_, she told herself. _This is my city. I have lived here all my life and I will not be afraid of it._ She got on the first train that stopped, without regard for where it was going. She grabbed one of the few empty seats and settled down, her eyes scanning the other occupants of the subway car. It was crowded and she was glad for the sling that kept her broken arm cradled against her chest and protected from the jostling masses.

_The city is the same. The people are the same_, she mused. _Only I have changed._ When she got tired of the subway, she got off the train and ascended up to ground level. She was in Brooklyn. Olivia shrugged, picked a direction, and started walking. At first, her legs protested but after the first few blocks, that pain was obscured by the steady rhythm of her feet against the pavement. Her usual stride was a little off-kilter; her one arm swung uselessly at her side while the other shifted heavily against her chest. After about ten blocks, she started to feel tired, so she got on a bus and rode back into Manhattan.

When she got off the bus, she picked a direction again and resumed her wandering. She headed north through Chinatown. Tourists and locals were packed shoulder-to-shoulder and Olivia gritted her teeth as she waded through the crowd. The urge to run was strong and her skin crawled with the sensation of strangers so close to her, bumping into her and brushing passed her as they hurried along. But her desire to overcome her fear was stronger.

The hair on her neck stood on end and she felt like someone was following her. Her eyes traced her reflection in shop windows as she walked. She didn't want to turn around and betray her fear. There was a man behind her; she could see his blurry reflection in the smudged glass of the street windows. Olivia went on straight for another block. He was still behind her. Another window, another glimpse of her shadow – he was wearing jeans, a blue t-shirt and sunglasses. Olivia paused at one shop, pretending to look at the street-side display of designer purses (most likely made earlier that day in one of the many illegal sweatshops nearby). The man passed without looking at her.

Olivia turned and watched him with curiosity after he passed. He was a young man, maybe in his early twenties. His t-shirt had a comic on the back with the words "Hudson University Manga Club" written above and below. There was an iPod peaking out of his back pocket and the earphone cord snaked up through his shirt. He picked up his pace and there was a spring in his step as he reached the doorway of a small café a little further down the block. A young woman looked up to meet him and they embraced, and then held hands as they turned together into the shop. Olivia breathed a little easier. He hadn't been following her. He had just been stuck in the same mire of tightly packed people that she was. He'd been stuck behind her on his way to meet his girlfriend. _It's the same city_, she told herself again, _plenty of normal people. _

She kept walking until she reached the street that separated Chinatown from Little Italy. She paused at a crosswalk, debating whether to turn to the side or continue straight into the narrow streets that smelled of bread and pasta and were filled with fluttering Italian flags. Olivia stayed on the Chinatown side of the street. She knew that odds of running into a Mafioso who could recognize her out of the crowd were comparatively slim, but still… there was no point in inviting danger.

* * *

Late afternoon found Olivia sitting on a rock in Central Park. She could see the baseball diamond where a Little League team was practicing. Not far away a tourist couple was playing with a camera. Olivia started a little when her phone rang. "Benson," she said as she flipped it open.

"Detective, it's Agent Donatello with the FBI. How are you doing?"

"Fine, fine," Olivia brushed aside the perfunctory question. "What can I do for you?"

"One of the women has been asking for you – you remember Tanya?"

"Of course. What's going on?"

"She says that she has something important that she needs to talk about, but then when I or one of our counselors tries to talk to her, she withdraws."

"So you want me to try." Olivia finished the unspoken thought.

"I know you have been through a terrible ordeal and I don't want to ask this of you if you are uncomfortable with it."

"No, no, it's fine. Where are you?"

"We are at a safe house in Hoboken." Donatello gave the address. Olivia didn't have a pen and paper on hand, so she committed it to memory.

"Alright. I should be there in about an hour." It ended up taking more than an hour, but by 6:00, Olivia was arriving at the address Donatello had given her. From the outside, it was a plain brownstone. Inside, it looked more like a rehabilitation center. There were classrooms, a large kitchen, communal living areas, and many private bedrooms. Donatello led Olivia upstairs and knocked on one of the door.

"Come in," Tanya called through the door. Donatello opened it and Olivia and she both walked in. Tanya was standing next to the window. She had a book in her hand, but wasn't even pretending to read it. "It is nice to see the sky," she remarked simply. The windows were tinted so that outsiders could not see into the house and the glass was bullet-proof. Olivia wondered briefly how Tanya and the other women were coping here. This place was as much a prison to keep them safe as the warehouse had been a prison to keep them from escaping.

Tanya still had not turned around and Olivia cleared her throat nervously. "Tanya?"

The Russian woman's face paled when she heard Olivia's voice and her eyes flicked around. She looked at Donatello. "Please leave." Her voice was so low as to be barely audible. Donatello obliged, leaving Olivia and Tanya alone.

Olivia almost asked Tanya how she was doing, but then stopped. That question had been driving her crazy the past few days. Whatever Tanya wanted to talk about, she would say something when she was ready.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you," Tanya began. "If I could have done anything…"

Olivia joined her by the window. "I know."

"They have my son," Tanya whispered. "I asked Agent Donatello who they had arrested. My son… my son is in prison." She looked at Olivia and there were tears shimmering in her eyes. "This is all my fault."

"No, no," Olivia said earnestly. "Whatever is going on, none of this was your fault."

"But it is," Tanya insisted. "I should have stopped him in the beginning… I should have found a way… All the women who have suffered... I could have stopped it."

'What do you mean?"

"I was his first," Tanya said quietly. "I was sixteen. I went to Budapest to study for a semester and I met Nick – the boss." Her voice was quiet, embarrassed. "He was charming then. I thought he was sweet. Mark was with him… they said they were just friends traveling Europe together."

"I was so happy when he started paying attention to me. I felt… special. Wanted," Tanya continued. "He said he would take me to America for a vacation. I told my parents that I was going to travel to Paris with some friends for the break – I didn't think they would want me seeing an older man. When we got to America, though, he changed. It took me a long time to realize what he and Mark were doing – longer than it should have. The day for me to fly back to Budapest came and went, but Nick just told me he had changed the tickets. I didn't have a computer and there were no phones in the houses where we were staying. I saw Mark come in with other women and sometimes I could hear them screaming. Nick hit me sometimes, but he always apologized. He was always so sweet afterward. He took me out for dinner and we went to movies and plays together."

"And then… one day… the trips stopped. I wasn't allowed out. I asked him to let me call my family – it was a month past when I was supposed to have returned – but he said no. I tried to run away. He caught me." Tanya shivered as she remembered that day. "I thought he was going to kill me. After that, I knew better than to try to argue with him."

"And all that time, Mark was bringing in more and more women. I couldn't pretend not to know what was happening anymore, but I couldn't do anything to stop it either. Nick kept me locked up all the time. It was a year before he and Mark were ready to move to a bigger building. Nick made me handle the cooking, so I saw every woman who passed through that place. And I never did anything to help them." Her eyes begged Olivia for understanding and forgiveness.

"You couldn't have. You were a child when he took you; there was no way you could have fought him. You did what you had to do to protect yourself." Olivia had said these words and words like them so many times throughout her career, but never had they taken more effort than they did now. She couldn't keep herself from thinking how many innocent lives would have been saved if Tanya had called for help. Valenti had taken her out in public; she could have slipped into the bathroom, she could have attracted attention, she had probably had a dozen opportunities to contact law enforcement. But Olivia also knew the power that predators had over their victims. Valenti had been an older man at the complete center of Tanya's life, controlling every aspect of her being. He had conditioned her to obey, to fear him and what he would do to her if she crossed him. Once he had seduced her into coming with him to America, she had never had another choice. "So Valenti and Mark built their operation together from the start?"

Tanya nodded. "Nick had the family connections and the money to get it off the ground. He was the manipulator. He was sadistic and cruel when he needed to be and charming and suave the rest of the time."

"And Mark?"

"Mark was the hands-on guy. He handled the money, organized security, and generally ran the business on the ground. He deflected attention from himself by always deferring to Nick, so that very few people ever actually knew they were partners."

"And you haven't told Donatello any of this?"

"I was afraid," Tanya confessed. "I thought that if anybody knew what I had done, that they would blame me. I thought… well, I knew that you were a cop. But you'd also been there, so I thought maybe you might understand. You think I should tell her?"

"I do," Olivia nodded. "I think she will understand too."

Tanya fell quiet for a moment, and then asked, "What will happen to Tony?"

"I don't know." Olivia sighed a little. "I really know nothing about what's going on in the case. The first time I talked with Donatello since giving her my statement was when she asked me to come here and talked to you." Tanya's face fell and Olivia knew that she had been hoping for some sort of news. "How old is he?"

"I'm really not sure," Tanya said with a bitter laugh. "I lost track of the years… you can't imagine how surprised I was when the police told me what year it was. I left my parents in Russia in the late 80's. I think he is 14 or 15, maybe a little older."

"Do you know if he was ever directly involved in any of Valenti's illegal activities?" _"Illegal activities"… there's a nice, clean way to say kidnap, rape, torture, human trafficking and murder._

"I think he was. Sometime last year, Nick bragged to me that it was time for my baby to become a man. He said he had arranged a special birthday party. Later that day, Mark brought in a new shipment of underage girls." Tanya was distraught at the memory.

"He's old enough that the prosecutor will probably want to try him as an adult, then. I can give you the names of some good lawyers who could defend him. You can try to convince a judge to try him in family court. Talk to Donatello – she can get you into the Federal lockup to see him."

"Thank you," Tanya said; her voice was thick with emotion. "Thank you for understanding… for helping me even when I didn't help you."

Olivia didn't know how to respond to that, so she just shrugged the comment off. "It's… um, it's nothing." She paused, "You want me to get Donatello in here? She'll be more help to you, I think."

"Sure."

Olivia was walking toward the door when Tanya's voice stopped her. "Be careful. I know Agent Donatello thinks that it is safe for us just because Nick is in custody. But…"

Olivia cocked her head. "Valenti or Mark?" she asked. "Which is the more dangerous?"

Tanya's voice was firm when she replied, but her words chilled Olivia to the bone. "Which one is still out there?"


	28. Chapter 28

_Tuesday morning: a week later_

Olivia stood in front of the mirror behind the locked door of the bathroom in Alex's apartment. The bruises were fading. She had gone to the hospital the day before to have the stitches in her back taken out. Her right arm itched furiously under the cast, but did not pain her as much. The nightmares were constant. Two nights ago, Olivia had given in and taken the sleeping pills that Alex offered her. She had given in as much for Alex's sake as for her own: between staying up with Olivia most nights and working all day, the blond lawyer was beginning to look a little haggard. Olivia had to admit that there was a benefit to taking them though - for the first time in almost two weeks, she was able to sleep through the night without nightmares.

She had not been back to the precinct since the conversation with Sgt. Tucker. In fact, since the day that she had gone to see Tanya in Jersey, Olivia had barely had time to leave Alex's apartment. Visits from the rest of the squad and from Casey and Melinda had kept her fairly busy. Every day another person came by to visit with her and check if she needed anything. Even Kathy came with Elliot once when he stopped by in the evening. She had brought a casserole for Alex and Olivia, which she handed over with an awkward smile. She and Elliot left after only a short time, but Olivia appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

Olivia examined her reflection in the mirror. She looked tired. The dark circles under her eyes never seemed to leave anymore. She reached up and carefully ran her fingertips over the yellow bruises on her face and neck. Another day or two and they would be barely visible. Her eyes traced over her reflection. She could see her ribs, and her collarbones protruded more than was natural. In addition to sleeping poorly, Olivia had had no appetite to speak of lately.

She turned away from the mirror and slipped into the clothes that she had set out to wear to court today. She had made a list of things she wanted from her apartment and Elliot had gone to get them for her a few days ago. It would be another day or two before she could go back to her apartment, but Olivia wasn't sure if she was ready to face that yet. She glanced at the small, neon-numbered clock that Alex had sitting next to the sink. She had only about thirty minutes before she would have to leave for court.

Back in her bedroom, a small journal rested on the bedside table. Olivia brushed it aside as she rushed to get ready. She had met with the therapist once already and had managed to give a flat, emotionless account of what had happened. As long as she spoke of it in the same way she would any other rape case, Olivia was able to hold the onslaught of emotion at bay. She knew the signs of PTSD and depression well enough. She could feel the threat of them loaming over her. She could feel the days that she didn't want to leave her bed; she knew the days she was afraid to leave the apartment. She pushed her way through those feelings, but she knew they would catch up with her eventually. The therapist had told her to keep a journal and write in it at least once a day.

Before Olivia knew where the time had gone, she was rushing out of the apartment to catch a bus to the courthouse.

Elliot and Alex were waiting outside the federal courthouse when she arrived, slightly out of breath. They went through the security checkpoints and headed into the courtroom. Jay was seated at the defense table, dressed in a shabby but clean pressed suit. When Olivia entered the room, he turned and watched as she moved to take her seat on the right side of the courtroom with the rest of SVU. His dark eyes followed her and Olivia specifically avoided meeting his gaze. She remembered what she had written in her journal last night before going to bed:

_I've talked with Donatello. I know she said that he wants to plead guilty and that he claims to feel regret for what he did. I know his reasons for doing it. But I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear him. I don't want to listen to him trying to excuse away raping me. I don't want to be in that courtroom tomorrow._

_I have to be there. I have to listen; I have to be there when the judge hands down the sentence. If I don't go, then everything I've ever told a victim – about the importance of seeking justice, the importance of a trial and the need for closure – is a lie. I can't do that. I have stood by hundreds of women while they faced their attackers and I have told them they were doing the right thing. If I can't do the same… then I don't deserve to be at SVU anymore. _

The judge was talking, but Olivia wasn't listening. Jay had turned to face the judge and, now that his eyes were no longer boring holes in her, Olivia felt free to examine him. He looked somehow smaller than she remembered, as if he were dwarfed merely by the fact of being in handcuffs, before the judge. Or maybe it was just that he had been in the hospital for the better part of the past week and, like her, had not been eating much. Olivia rejected that thought. She didn't want to draw any parallels between them.

"How does the defendant plead?" the judge asked.

Jay stood up, his back to her. Olivia was glad that he was facing the judge and that she didn't have to see his face. "Guilty, Your Honor."

"Please describe your crimes to this court."

Jay turned to face the jury, seated along the right side of the courtroom. His eyes found Olivia, seated in the audience and he looked at her for a moment before addressing the jury.

"After my sister Shauna was abducted," he began, "I did some digging and found out that she had been taken by someone in the sex trade. I sought out a couple different traffickers who might have known what happened to her. That was about three months ago. I got in far enough to get in touch with Mark, who was Nick Valenti's second-in-command. He told me that they were planning to kidnap Detective Benson, at the request of Lowell Harris. The idea was that Harris would keep Detective Benson for a week and then I would take her to Valenti so that she could be sold at auction." Jay had to keep reminding himself to refer to her as "Detective Benson," rather than "Olivia."

Olivia's stomach churned as she listened to him so casually recite their plans.

"My job was to take care of Detective Benson while she was with Harris and to supervise him to make sure that he didn't injure her too badly or leave any permanent marks. If I did that, Mark was going to get me a job working for Valenti. I knew that if I were working for him, I would be able to find my sister and break her out."

Olivia could feel Elliot's eyes on her. She didn't look at him. She was sure that if she moved or tried to speak, she would completely fall apart. She did manage to find his hand in the seat next to her and give it a sharp squeeze. _I'm okay_, the gesture said. She let go and returned her hand to rest in her own lap, balled into a loose fist that tightened occasionally with Jay's words.

"I was not there when Mark and Harris abducted Detective Benson. I don't know how they did it or where or who planned it… I never asked. I know that Detective Benson was shot in the struggle. I went to the storage unit the next day and made sure that she had food and water and I tried to patch up her arm where the bullet had grazed her. That night, when Harris and I went to see her, she tried to run. I caught her and brought her back. Harris beat her up pretty bad, but I pulled him off before he could hurt her too much. I brought her medicine and helped her get cleaned up some. It was cold in the unit, so I brought her a blanket."

_He's making it out like he was the fucking Good Samaritan! _Olivia raged. _Funny how he's not mentioning that he shoved me around a time or two and that he held me down so I couldn't fight back while Harris beat me. _She tensed in anger and felt Elliot shift beside her in response. They might be bad at talking about things, but the two of them could always read each other.

"On Sunday night, Harris told me to strip her and tie her to the bed." Here, at least, Jay had the wherewithal to look ashamed. "Detective Benson fought me, but I overpowered her. I tied her down and I cut her clothes off her. Then I left. Harris went in and I could hear him raping her. Afterward, I heard them fighting and then I heard Harris say he was going to kill her. I ran in and he had his hands around her neck about to choke her."

Olivia could feel twelve pairs of pity-filled eyes on her. She stared at her hands as tears starting to fill her eyes. _Is this really what I have asked victims to go through all this time? _She blinked, refusing to let the tears fall. She would not cry here. She would hold it together.

"Detective Benson had bitten him and Harris was bleeding pretty badly. He told me to take my turn with her and that he would be back to watch." Jay paused and swallowed before continuing. "I raped Detective Olivia Benson."

Olivia scanned the jury and wondered if any of them grasped the full meaning of what Jay had just said. "_I raped her." Did any of them know what it meant? How could they? How could they know the horror of being trapped and violated in the worst of ways? Do they know what rape is? What it is to be held down and attacked, to have another person on top of you and around you and inside you just so that he can prove that he is the one in control… He doesn't see you as a woman or as a person, but just a thing to abuse. It's not about sex. It's really not about sex at all. _

"Later I drugged her and cleaned out the storage unit. I put her in Harris' car and we drove until Mark texted me with directions to the warehouse. She was unconscious for the whole trip; Mark gave her another, stronger dose when we met and the next time she really regained consciousness was at the warehouse."

"On Tuesday morning, I met with Valenti for the first time. He said that he was going to teach me how to properly torture a woman. Detective Benson tried to escape again; she used one of Valenti's men as a human shield. But he ordered his own man shot and I grabbed Detective Benson. I watched while Mark tormented Detective Benson for most of the day." He neglected to mention that he had also hurt Olivia that day, under Mark's direction. Olivia didn't know who was there or who had done what and Mark wasn't there to contradict him. There was no point in adding on extra counts against himself.

"That afternoon, Mark brought in another woman – my sister. Someone had seen me looking in on her and thought that… that I wanted her the way they did. Mark told me to rape Shauna in front of Detective Benson. I didn't want to… I couldn't do that – not to my sister. So I told Mark that instead I would rape Detective Benson and he could make Shauna watch." At this point, Jay turned away from the jury and looked directly at Olivia. She felt the blood thundering in her ears as every eye in the court followed him and focused on her. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. But if I didn't do what Harris wanted, I never would have found my sister. And if I didn't do what Valenti and Mark wanted, I never would have had the chance to get her out. I didn't have a choice. But I'm sorry that I hurt you."

He turned back to the jury. "I raped Detective Benson again. Afterward, I tied her up and made a videotape that Valenti would use for the auction. I forced her to orgasm for the camera. After that," he shrugged, "I did not see Detective Benson as much. I made sure that she was fed and had the medical care she needed, but I did not harm her again. On Friday, Valenti gave me a set of keys so that I could have free access to any of the women he had imprisoned there. While they were all busy setting up the auction for Detective Benson, I snuck Shauna away." Jay saw no reason to mention the matter with the little Asian girl or that he had shot the three guards on duty Friday afternoon. There was no evidence tying him to those crimes – the girl was dead and any physical evidence long gone, and there had been so many dead bodies at the warehouse by the time the cops arrived that they would have a hard time connecting each body with the responsible gun, let alone the shooter. "Once I had her safely out of there, I went back."

He looked at Olivia again and his voice was thick with heartfelt regret. "I know that I messed up. I wanted to fix that. I went back to get you away to safety. I shot at the van when Mark was taking you away from the warehouse. That was when I got shot. They took me back to the warehouse and they took you on to Rivera's. I'm sorry. I tried to make things right."

* * *

"_I'm sorry. I tried to make things right." _Olivia stewed over those words. Court had ended about an hour ago – they would reconvene tomorrow for final statements and for sentencing – and Olivia was still furious. _How dare he_, she thought, _how _dare_ he try to say that he had no choice – that he was just doing what he had to do. He had a choice. I didn't._

Elliot was with her. He had been at her heels since the moment she had stormed out of the courtroom when the judge's gavel came down. He was the one who had talked her into stopping at this small café instead of stomping across the city, which had seemed to be her plan. He glanced up at the waitress as she brought them their coffees. "Thanks," he said. Once she had turned away, he pushed Olivia's coffee into her hand. "You can talk to the jury still before sentencing. That is your right – to tell your side. Just because he decided to plead guilty doesn't change that. Any pity that jury might have for him because of his sob-story about his sister will go right out the window when you take the stand."

Olivia planted her elbows on the table and braced her forehead in her hands. She rubbed her temples as the steam from the coffee rose enticingly under her nose. "I am going to have to testify at three other trials in the next few months – four, if they ever catch Mark. I had just hoped that Jay at least would make this easier for me."

Elliot snorted.

Olivia paused before speaking again. She knew what Elliot's response would be to what she was about to say, but still she wanted to hear it. "What he said in there was true, you know. He wasn't as cruel as the others. And he saved my life a couple times – Harris would have killed me for sure if Jay hadn't been there. Do I owe him for that?" There was more on the tip of Olivia's tongue, but Elliot was shaking his head emphatically.

"Not at all."

Olivia picked up her coffee in her good hand and held it to her lips. She sipped slowly and her gaze drifted out the window.

"So do you want to testify tomorrow? If you do, we should call Donatello now so that she can let her ADA know."

Olivia cocked her head to the side. "I want to talk to him."

"You sure?" She nodded and Elliot finished the rest of his coffee in a long gulp. "Let's go then." He left some money on the table for their coffees and stood. He'd have figure out how he was going to talk their way in to see Jay – since the trial was still ongoing, it could be seen as improper that Olivia was going to see him at all. But if that was what she wanted, Elliot would find a way to make it happen.

* * *

**A/N** - I'm back again! I've had a couple days with a computer up but no internet, so I have at least started new chapters for all my stories in progress. Hopefully I'll get around to finishing those and posting them in a timely manner.

**Please Review! **Review's make me happy...


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N** - Special thanks to **7starfish7** for looking over this scene and to **Mr. Osborne** for his advice on sentencing for Jay.

And a big "Thank you" to all the people who have reviewed or put this story on their favorites or alert list.

* * *

Elliot had called ahead, so Jay was sitting in an interrogation room when they arrived. The guard opened the door for Elliot and Olivia. Just before walking through, Olivia turned to Elliot.

"You want me to stay out here," Elliot guessed. His shoulders slumped a little. She had wanted to talk to Harris alone; she'd probably want the same here. Elliot had made up his mind to respect her decisions and not argue with her, but he wished there were something he could do. He hated feeling so useless.

Olivia eyed him appraisingly. "No," she said finally. "You can come in. Just… let me handle this."

Elliot heard her. "_Sit down and shut up_," was what she meant. "I can do that." He didn't necessarily want to, but he could.

They went in together.

"Olivia!" Jay breathed in surprise. Elliot scowled and slammed the door behind him. He took up position with his back against the door and his arms crossed over his chest.

Olivia stood opposite the table from Jay. "That was quite a show you put on in court," she remarked softly. "The jury might even be buying it."

"It's all true." Jay looked up at her. "And I am sorry."

"It was half the truth," Olivia snapped. She didn't want to listen to his bullshit apologies. "You pled guilty but every word out of your mouth was trying to twist things so you'd look innocent. You're not."

Jay shrugged. "Look, Olivia… I'm not the best person. I know that. But I'm a damn sight better than all the other guys that worked for Valenti. You know that I don't deserve the same penalty they're all getting. They're all scum who _like _hurting women. I'm not like that, you know I'm not."

Her face was stony and unchanged.

"I saved your life in there," Jay reminded her. "If it wasn't for me, Harris would have killed you a couple times over. And I came back for you. After I got my sister away safe, I did come back. I tried to stop Mark taking you to the buyer. I took a bullet trying to get you out." He leaned back from the table and pulled up the hem of his orange shirt so that Olivia could see the bandage still taped over his abdomen. "Please... if you talk to the jury tomorrow… tell them that everything I did, I had to do. I didn't have a choice in there anymore than you did. And I _did_ help you where I could."

"No." Olivia leaned forward, her hands on the table. She was shaking with anger. "_No_," she growled. She heard Elliot shifting his weight behind her and knew that he was only barely holding himself back from attacking Jay. "The jury might buy that, but I know better. You _had _a choice. You _chose_ to team up with Harris and you chose to work with Valenti. You chose to take away _my _choice. You _raped_ me. You held me down so Harris could beat me, you tied me up so that I couldn't fight him when he raped me, you…" Her hands were visibly trembling and she pressed her palms flat against the surface, trying to regain control. "You brought me to _them._ You stood by and watched everything they did to me. You… you…"

Words failed her. There was a moment's silence before she continued. "You had other options. You should have come to the cops with your information. You could have gone to the FBI and given them your contact info for Mark and they would have tracked him down. If you had just…"

"And when have the cops ever helped me?" Jay scoffed, interrupting her. "I grew up in the hood, in foster care – the cops never gave two shits about me and mine. Shauna is the only family I've got left. The cops weren't doing anything to find her, so I had to. I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm sorry you got hurt, but I'd do it all again to keep my sister safe."

"And how many others are dead because of that decision?" Olivia asked. "They slaughtered almost every woman there when they realized that you had taken Shauna out. _Your _disappearance alerted them that there was a problem. All those women are _DEAD_ because you made the choice to rescue your sister on your own instead of coming to the police. Their blood is on your hands." Lynn's face came unbidden to Olivia's thoughts and she felt tears stinging behind her eyes. Olivia ruthlessly pushed the thought away. There would be time to mourn later.

Jay shrugged. "I didn't pull the trigger."

Rage filled her. Olivia could feel the cold, throbbing anger fill every fiber of her being, down to the tips of her fingers. She didn't want to feel sympathy for him. She didn't want to understand his motives. All she wanted was to hurt him as badly as he had hurt her. She wanted to make him pay for everything he had done and for the lives he had cost.

Olivia was not sure exactly what happened next, but suddenly she was standing over him. His chair was knocked over and Jay was on the ground. A trail of blood leaked from his mouth. Elliot wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her away from Jay.

"Liv! _Liv!_" Elliot's voice sounded thin and far away as it filtered through the pounding in her ears.

"I'm fine, El." She shook him off and pushed him away. Her voice echoed in her head – it sounded like someone else was talking. Her hand hurt and she shook it absently.

Jay pushed himself up and wiped the back of his hand across his face. He laughed when he saw the red spit that clung to him. "I guess I deserved that," he said.

Now Elliot stepped in. He grabbed Jay by the lapels, lifted him up and slammed him against the wall. Jay gasped as his spine struck the unforgiving concrete behind him. "You deserve much more than that," Elliot threatened. Olivia touched him on one arm and he relaxed his hands a little, allowing Jay to ease away from the wall. "I'm only sorry I can't be the one to give it to you." He shoved Jay backward into the wall again.

"Let's go, El," Olivia said. "I'm done with him."

When they walked out of the interrogation room, the guard who had been waiting outside peered in at Jay. Elliot started to say something, but the guard cut him off with a shrug. "He got in a scuffle with his cellmate," the guard said with a wink. "Prisoners fight. You two were never here."

"Thanks, Kravitz," Elliot replied. "I owe you."

* * *

Olivia testified against Jay first thing the next morning. Elliot had been right: any sympathy that the judge and jury might have had for Jay flew out the window when she presented her side.

Sentencing was handed down before lunch: Jay would serve five years for each of the two times he had raped her, plus an additional ten years for aiding in human trafficking. If he testified against Harris, Valenti, and the rest of Valenti's men, he would receive two years off for each guilty verdict.

Olivia was furious. It didn't seem like enough. She wondered how many victims she had worked with in the past had felt cheated by the DA's wheeling and dealing when it came to sentencing. By the time he finished testifying, he'd be looking at no more than ten years and he probably would not even serve all of that.

After the sentencing was over and court was dismissed, Olivia turned to the tall blonde beside her. "Alex, I need you to do me a favor."

Alex looked at her. "Anything," she replied.

"Next time we're trying to get a perp and have to cut a deal, remind me of today."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Olivia started packing up to move back into her apartment. Alex appeared in the doorway. "You can stay here as long as you want, you know," she said. "Don't feel like you have to rush back to your place."

Olivia continued packing. "I know. I just feel like I need to get back to normal – as much as possible."

Alex crossed the room and sat down on the bed. "Is there anything I can do?" she offered.

"No. You've been great this past week or so. I don't know what I would've done without you." Alex smiled a little but shrugged off the compliment. "I'm… I need to take my life back, you know?"

* * *

_Wednesday Night_

Melinda Warner arrived at Alex's building around 9 that night. Alex keyed her in and moments later the medical examiner was at her door.

"Come on in," Alex said as she opened the door. Melinda followed her into the living room. Alex slipped into the kitchen, where she had just finished pouring a glass of wine before Melinda arrived. "Pour you a glass?" she called.

"Sure," Melinda replied as she sat down on the couch. Alex quickly returned with two glasses of Merlot. She handed one to Melinda. "Thanks." Melinda took a sip of the wine and placed it on the table beside her. "Is Olivia around?"

Alex shook her head. "After court today she decided to head back to her own place." She glanced self-consciously around her apartment. "It actually feels a little empty around here without her now." Melinda shifted in her seat and Alex spotted the manila folder that rested beside her. "What's that?" Alex reached forward, expecting it to be something for one of their current cases. To her surprise, Melinda pulled the file away.

"Something I have to give to Olivia." She stood. "Thanks for the wine, Alex. I should be going." She left, abandoning the still full glass of wine.

Melinda walked to Olivia's apartment. It would have been much faster to take the subway, since Olivia's building was a long way from the ritzy neighborhood where Alex lived. The night was cool and pleasant, but Melinda was too tense to enjoy the fresh air. The thin file in her hand felt heavy, even though it contained no more than a few sheets of paper.

All too soon, Melinda was climbing the stairs to the fourth floor. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She heard Olivia moving around inside and then the door swung open.

"Hey." Melinda stepped through the doorway, leaving Olivia to follow her from the entryway into the small apartment's living room.

"Olivia," Melinda paced the length of the room, the folder still held in her hand. "There is something I need to talk to you about."

Olivia had known something was wrong from the moment she had seen Melinda through the peephole in the door. She sat on the arm of her couch. "What is it?" she asked with trepidation.

In reply, Melinda handed her the file. "No one can know that I've given this to you. HIV status is confidential. I could lose my license, my lab's reputation… but…" She sat down on the couch next to Olivia. "You need to know."

Olivia scanned the first page. There were no names, only case numbers. The law required that all DNA scans and evidence examination be conducted in a double blind method, so that there could be no suspicion of tampering. A few words popped off the page and echoed in Olivia's mind.

"_STI tests on the suspect's blood-work indicate 'Positive' for presence of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus." _

"_Carrier – exhibits no symptoms."_

"_Virulent strand of HIV AIDs, resistant to most common medications…"_

The file fell from her hands and the pages spilled out on the floor. Olivia turned to Melinda. "Which one?" she asked hoarsely.

"I don't know the name," Melinda confessed helplessly. "The last one – where you were when they found you."

Olivia closed her eyes and for a moment, she was trapped back in the basement. _She could see him coming toward her as he slowly stripped of his expensive suit. She tugged helplessly against the handcuffs. He uncoiled the whip and Olivia saw him swing his arm back. Her eyes opened wide with fear and she tried to twist away. The tip of the whip connected with her flesh and she screamed. _

"Rivera," she said quietly. Her eyes were glued to the fallen papers in disarray at her feet. "Anthony Rivera." She mentally flicked through the events of the night she had been rescued. The scars on her back tingled and her skin burned with phantom pain. "He didn't…" Her mouth was dry. "He… I mean…" She couldn't get the words out. "There was no penile penetration." She lifted her eyes off the floor and looked at Melinda.

"_You do not get the pleasure of feeling me inside you until you ask for it," he had said._

"Did he ejaculate? There could still be a risk."

Olivia nodded hesitantly. "Twice. On my chest and stomach." No matter how many times she had given her statement, Olivia still felt the shame and sickness burn within her whenever she spoke about what had happened."

"Did he touch you afterward? Could there have been any contact?" Melinda was afraid for her friend. In her fear, her mind kept churning up all the possible ways that Olivia might have been infected.

"No," Olivia replied. She hesitated. "I don't think so." She sounded less certain.

"Did you have any open wounds? Any cuts or scrapes or…"

"I'm… I'm not sure." Olivia rubbed her temples. "No. I'm fairly sure that I didn't."

_The tip of the whip curled around her again and this time it sliced through her skin, just under her breast. A thin line of blood welled up as he swung his arm back, preparing to strike again._

Olivia's hand went to touch the place where her skin had broken, just under her left breast. "No," she whispered.

Melinda's eyes followed her movement and the sudden panic on her face. "Olivia," Her voice was quiet but firm. "You need to start an antiretroviral course immediately. Hopefully you haven't been exposed, but just in case…"

"Sure," Olivia replied dully, her mind still reeling. "Just in case." She had been so relieved when the first round of tests had come back negative and she learned that she had not gotten pregnant. But HIV could take months to show up on a test.

"Olivia," Melinda's eyes searched Olivia's. "If there was no direct contact, the odds are slim. You're probably fine. There's probably nothing to worry about."

* * *

**A/N -** So, there is the reason that I made sure Rivera never actually raped Olivia, even if he did do lots of other horrible things. I knew this scene was coming. I'm going to be very nice and go ahead and give away that Olivia did not contract AIDs. So, if you are one of those people who reads the author's note, you know that ahead of everybody else. I was going to leave you all hanging, but I decided to be nice. And me being nice does not happen all that often - just look at all I put my characters through!

Please **Review!** Reviews make me happy!


	30. Chapter 30

_Thursday Morning_

Elliot showed up on her doorstep first thing the next day. "Hey," he said simply when Olivia swung open the door. "How was your first night home?"

"It was fine." Olivia left the door open so that Elliot could step in as she went to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Rather than follow her, Elliot peered first into the bedroom and then scanned the living room. Her bed was made neatly and did not appear to have been slept in. A blanket was draped half on the couch and half on the floor.

Elliot finally joined Olivia in the kitchen. Her eyes were red and there were deep circles under her eyes. "Doesn't look like it," he said. He started opening her cabinets, checking to make sure that she was sufficiently well supplied.

"You're snooping, El." Olivia sipped her coffee slowly.

Elliot shrugged. "It's what I do."

Olivia snorted. "Get yourself some coffee and tell me what you're doing here so early." She returned to the living room and settled comfortably on the couch. Elliot joined her a moment later, sinking into an old, battered armchair.

"I just wanted to come by and see how you're dealing with things is all," he said.

"I'm dealing." It was a habit engrained over time and at this point Olivia wasn't sure whether it was custom or pride that made her stubbornly refuse to admit weakness in front of Elliot. In the past week since her rescue, he had seen her more vulnerable than she was comfortable with.

Elliot regarded her skeptically. "Sure."

Olivia didn't know why that made her so angry. The old Elliot would have challenged her. The old Elliot would never have been so accommodating this past week. The old Elliot would probably have said something thoughtless and stupid and she would have replied in anger and then he would have gone to punch a wall or his locker or a punching bag at the precinct work-out room and they would have been back to normal again. But everything was different and it wasn't Elliot that had changed. It was she. Elliot would have goaded the old Olivia. But the new Olivia he treated like a victim. _Which is accurate_, Olivia admitted to herself. _As much as I might want to pretend it never happened, it did. And I have to deal with that._

But right now, what she really wanted was for Elliot to be Elliot. In the past week, he had been quiet, acquiescent, supportive, and helpful. He had hugged her outside Cragen's office and cleaned up the mess she made in Alex's apartment and made sure that she had everything that she needed while her own apartment was roped off. He had been caring and gentle, but that was not what Olivia wanted now. She wanted him to be the same arrogant, caustic son-of-a-bitch that he had always been. If she could get him to act like normal, then maybe – eventually – she could get there herself. She sighed internally. If he wasn't going to push at her, than she would just have to push at him. "What does that mean?" she snapped.

"Nothing. I just know you've been through a lot and I want to make sure you're alright. You know – see if there is anything I can do." Elliot knew as soon as he had said it that he had said the wrong thing. _Like always_, he thought.

Olivia scowled. "Why?" He was still choosing his words carefully, like he did when they interviewed a victim. She needed to push him out of that. "Do I look like I need someone to take care of me?" she challenged.

"That's not what I meant," Elliot retorted. Although, if he were honest with himself, he had to admit that she did look like she could use a hand. She obviously hadn't been sleeping and there was practically no food in her apartment – there never was. He had watched her ever since she opened the door and, from her stiff movements, it looked like her back was still stiff. Elliot knew that Olivia didn't like taking medications – she disliked the foggy sensations that came with heavy pain killers – but it was still important if she wanted to heal quickly.

"Than what did you mean? I don't need you looking out for me. I can take care of myself without you looking over your shoulder for me."

He flushed red. The Gitano case had haunted both of them for years. Elliot had spat the words in the heat of the moment. _I need to know you can do your job and not wait for me to come to the rescue! _At the time, he had been completely unaware that he would push Olivia to transfer out of SVU for several months and that even when she came back, their relationship would never be the same. It hurt to hear his own words echoed back at him. "Really, Liv?" he questioned. "You're going to bring that up now?"

"Yes, damnit!" Olivia was on her feet now and her hands curled into fists. Her left hand was sweating under the cast and itched horribly. This was what she needed. All week she had been intent on keeping her emotions under control as much as possible. She was sick of constantly battling the impulse to cry. She wanted something to fight. "You need to know that I can do my job – that I can take care of myself." It felt good to get angry, even if only at Elliot.

Her accusations were unfair and Elliot felt his hackles rise in response. He didn't know when he had stood, but he knew that he was looming over her, fighting to keep his temper in check. He said nothing.

"I don't need you sweeping in here like some goddamned white knight to pick up the fucking pieces. I can fight my own battles." She planted her feet directly in front of him. The few inches that he had on her suddenly seemed too vast a difference. She had seen Elliot in action many times. She knew the strength he had, knew the power he was capable of exerting. Olivia couldn't help but remember all the times in the week of her captivity that her own strength had failed her against men of similar height and build to her partner. She couldn't help but remember how easily Jay had overpowered her, time and again. She remembered his iron grip on her arms, around her neck – subduing her, controlling her, forcing her compliance. All of Olivia's training and experience had proved useless against an opponent who was taller, heavier, and stronger than she – an opponent that Elliot would have been easily able to defeat.

"I'm not weak," she said stubbornly. Elliot was unmoving, a statue in front of her. She could spot his tells, though. The pulse point in his neck was throbbing and his arms were tensed, causing his biceps to swell against the constricting fabric of his t-shirt. The rippling muscles in his chest throbbed with tension and his eyes narrowed dangerously. It wasn't enough. Olivia needed to get a reaction out of him. She wasn't sure why, but she did. "I can take care of myself," she repeated, "I don't need _you_ to protect me!"

That did it. Elliot spun around and there was a sickening thud as his fist slammed into the doorframe that led to the kitchen. It was a good thing that he targeted the frame, where there was a support beam behind the wall. Olivia guessed that he had punched enough walls to know where to hit so that it wouldn't break through the drywall.

Elliot dimly felt the blow reverberate through his bones and up his arm. It wasn't enough. His left hand struck the same spot and he felt a sharp pain. He slammed the palm of his right hand against the wall a third time and then the fight went out of him. He leaned his forehead against the frame and his shoulders trembled as his muscles relaxed. "You might not need me," he said quietly, "but I sure as hell need you. And as long as we're partners, it's my job to keep you safe."

He would have done better leaving off that last part. It only served to incite Olivia further. "Your job? Damn it, it's _my_ job to protect myself." She was shaking now, whether with anger or something else, and was glad that Elliot was still facing away from her. "I'm a cop. I can take care of myself." The shaking was getting worse and Olivia felt her breath catch in her chest. "I can protect myself, I can fight, I can… damn it…" The words tumbled out in a rush. Olivia's legs felt weak and she slipped backward, sinking into the couch. Elliot turned, his expression inscrutable. Whatever he had been thinking, though, his face broke when he looked at Olivia. He sat next to her on the couch, not daring to touch her. Neither of them looked at the other. "I can protect myself," Olivia whimpered softly.

"I know you can." Elliot's voice was soft and low. Olivia was still trembling and the motion sent barely discernable reverberations through the couch.

"But I didn't – I couldn't," she choked. She turned to look at him now and Elliot met her gaze. Her eyes were red and swollen, brimming with unshed tears, and her cheeks were flushed. "I tried. Damn it, every fucking chance I got, I fought them. But I couldn't… I wasn't strong enough…"

"No, Liv," Elliot growled through his hoarse throat. "It wasn't your fault. You did everything you could." He knew that she had. He had listened in court yesterday while she slowly, dispassionately described every encounter in which she had attempted to fight and escape and Jay had violently thwarted her efforts. And that, he knew, was only her testimony against Jay. There were other men still to testify against. The brutal, heartbreaking, unthinkable account she had given yesterday was only a part of what those men had done. Just thinking about it made him want to kill every last one of them. "You are the strongest, bravest woman I know." He wanted to touch her. A thin trail of tears leaked down her face. He wanted to cup her cheek in his hand and wipe away the tears. He didn't move.

"I couldn't fight them. Harris… I could've taken him in a fair fight and he knew it. It was never a fair fight, though. I… I was tied up or Jay was holding me down or _something_." Her voice broke on the last word.

Elliot wanted to look away, wanted to shut his ears. He didn't want to hear this, didn't want to have to listen to everything she had been made to suffer. But her eyes were locked on his and it was as if she _needed_ to say it. She needed to explain that she _had_ fought. Elliot wondered what an ass he had been to her over the past years that she felt that he would judge her as a cop because she hadn't been able to defend herself.

"At the warehouse," her voice was small, but her eyes were unwavering, "I thought I had a chance. My hands were tied in front of me with rope." She moved her arms in her lap, touching her wrists. "Harris tied the knots. He didn't do a very good job; he was… let's say 'distracted' when he was trying to tie me up. I undid the rope and I waited behind the door." She swallowed and her tongue flicked out to moisten her lips. "When they opened it, I used the rope to get a stranglehold on the first man I saw. The others all had guns, but I thought that I could use him as human shield to get me out."

Elliot had not heard this part before. He was afraid to hear it.

"They shot him. My rope was still around his neck when they blew his brains out. I could _feel_ the bullet going into him. I should have kept fighting right after that, maybe I could have gotten somewhere. But I just froze. I couldn't move. And… that was it." For the first time since she started, she broke eye-contact. She looked down at her hands. Her fingers twisted together, hampered slightly by the white cast that enveloped her left hand and extended halfway to her elbow. "After that, there was always somebody else that they threatened to hurt if I didn't do what they wanted." Raw pain was inscribed on every line of her face.

Elliot could only imagine how much she had suffered. Olivia Benson was one of the best people he knew and she would do anything to protect someone in danger, no matter the cost to herself. And those bastards had used that against her.

"There was a little girl." Olivia's eyes were wide and glassy as she remembered the sinking despair of helplessness. "And he said that he was going to find some of the victims from the cases that we had worked. He said that," she hesitated, "he would kidnap Kathleen." Elliot started violently, a fresh wave of rage coursing through him. "He knew you have a family, he threatened your kids… I _had_ to do what he wanted. I couldn't let him hurt anyone else."

"Liv –" He didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter because Olivia was already moving on.

"With…" she paused, unable to say his name."With Rivera, I never even had a chance." She tapped her fingers against the hard casing of her cast. "I had to break my own wrist to try to get out of the handcuffs. Even that did me no good. It just ended up making him angrier."

Elliot wanted to pull her into his arms. He wanted to comfort her. He didn't know what to do.

"And then you came." Olivia gave a soft, self-deprecating laugh that sounded more like the beginning of a sob. "I guess you were right all those years ago. I did need you to come rescue me after all."

Elliot's self-restraint broke then and he reached out to take her hand. Olivia pulled away. "That's not all," she said. "Melinda came over last night."

"Oh?" Elliot cleared his throat, so choked by emotion that he was barely able to speak.

"On top of everything else, there's a chance that I was exposed to HIV."

_God, why?_ Elliot blinked, unable to think or even process what she had said. "I thought the doctor said all the tests were negative?"

Olivia nodded. "They did. But you know with HIV… sometimes it takes a while to show up. Melinda said that she would take me to a clinic today to get started on an antiretroviral course."

Elliot remembered the one time that they had thought he might have been exposed to HIV through a cut in his hand. He remembered the gut-wrenching fear that came with waiting. HIV could take up to six months to appear on a test. For six months, he had gone to an anonymous clinic. Every visit was filled with tension and fear that this might be the test that popped positive. The negative results were not a comfort – if anything, they served to augment his apprehension. "I'm sorry." It was all that he could think of to say and it seemed pitifully inadequate.

Olivia chuckled darkly. "Me too." She shook her head and brushed the back of her good hand across her cheeks, wiping away the traces of her earlier tears. She felt drained and exhausted. She glanced at the clock. It was almost 10am. "Don't you have to be at work today, El?" she asked, abruptly turning them away from any other serious conversation.

He shrugged. "I told Cap'n I was planning on coming by here this morning. He said I could take the day if I wanted it." He looked sideways at her. "Why? You trying to get rid of me?" He said it jokingly, but there was a part of him that was afraid that she was. He hadn't expected her to be as open with him as she had been and he was afraid that she might regret the exchange and try to push him away again.

Olivia shrugged. "I'm probably going to see if I can get a bit more sleep." She stood up and stretched carefully, shaking out her stiff back and shoulders. "You can stay if you want."

"Sure." Elliot sunk into the couch and stretched his arms out along the backrest. He could feel the warmth still radiating from where Olivia had been sitting. She picked up the remote control from the end table and tossed it to him. "You have any popcorn?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood in the room after their conversation.

"You're the one who was snooping in my cabinets earlier; you tell me," Olivia quipped back. "You can grab whatever you can find in there. Just if I get to sleep, don't wake me up. "

"Got it," Elliot nodded in mock-somberness. "I wouldn't want to go around sporting an eye like the one you left on Cabot," he joked. Olivia shot him a cold glare. "Sorry," he winced. _Too soon for that joke_. "Go to sleep. I'll still be here bumming on your couch when you get up."

When Olivia climbed into bed moments later, she rolled over once and immediately fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N** - Wow, I was not expecting this conversation to take the whole chapter, but it just took off on its own. I hope you all enjoy it.

Make sure to leave me some **Reviews!**


	31. Chapter 31

_Friday Morning_

The next day, Olivia found herself staring at the row of prescription pills that lined her cabinet. After she had woken up from her nap yesterday, Elliot had taken her back to the hospital for another post-release check-up. Later in the afternoon, Melinda showed up and went with her to an anonymous clinic to pick up an antiretroviral prescription. Now, Olivia was left to face the growing stack of pain medication, antibiotics, antiretrovirals, and ointments.

She sighed and rolled her shoulders. The pain was fading and, now that the stitches were gone, she was able to move freely without any fear that they would tear. Her body was healing. The rest would take a while longer.

_Monday Morning_

Olivia woke up to her alarm clock on Monday morning. She rolled over and smacked the snooze-button before collapsing back down onto the bed with a sigh. She still had yet to get a solid night's sleep. She woke up at least once every night with nightmares, sometimes more.

She hit the snooze-button at least three more times before finally rolling out of bed. She ran a bath and soaked for a while with her left arm propped up on the side of the tub so that the cast would not get wet. Usually Olivia was the kind of person to jump into a quick shower and not take the time to luxuriate in the bathtub. But it was too difficult to deal with wrapping her cast up to waterproof it for a shower; so long baths became the logical option. Casey had given her several jars of bath salts and milk honey beads, with the assurance that they would help her skin. Olivia was sure, though, that she would have scars no matter how effort she put into applying lotions and taking vitamin E supplements.

When she got out of the bath, Olivia dried off quickly and got dressed. It was still difficult to manage with the cast, but she was slowly adapting to it. She put on her sling over her blouse and swung her purse over her shoulder. The cast thumped against her chest as she walked down the stairs and out of her building.

By the time she got off the subway near the precinct, her heart was thumping in her chest. _You can do this_, she told herself firmly as she pulled open the door.

The temptation to keep her head down and hurry past the questioning stares was almost overwhelming, but Olivia forced herself to look up and smile. All of these were cops that she had worked with at one time or another and Olivia knew that the stares were just something she would have to put up with for a while.

Huang was waiting for her in one of the upstairs room. Olivia managed to slip through the squad room without running into anyone. The constant stares and double takes when the other cops saw her were unnerving and she almost wished that she had taken Huang up on his offer to meet at his office in the FBI building.

The room where she had agreed to meet with Huang was a small coffee room adjacent to the crib. Usually this room was open all the time to cops that wanted a place to sit for a moment or grab a cup of coffee and a snack, but Huang had commandeered it just to meet with Olivia and there was a large "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door.

Olivia appreciated that he was willing to come to the precinct, to a place where she felt comfortable. No matter how many times she went to a therapist's office, the overly plush, falsely homey arrangements designed to set clients at ease always made her uncomfortable. Here, the grey walls and worn-out couch were familiar, and the smell of stale coffee brought back memories of dozens of nights spent working late at the precinct – the agonizing hours that she and Elliot had spent in shifts, rotating between a few hours sleep and frazzled work trying to catch a break in a case.

Huang stood up when Olivia entered the room. "Olivia," he greeted warmly, "how are you doing?" As she moved to sit down on the lumpy, metal framed couch, Huang slipped around to lock the door so that they would not be interrupted by any cops in too much of a hurry to read the sign on the door.

Olivia shrugged in response. She was perched on the front edge of the couch with her knees together and her good elbow resting on her knees. "I've been better, but I'm managing."

Huang sat back in one of the cheap plastic chairs, far less luxuriant and less comfortable than the leather chair in his office. "You have been going to therapy?"

She nodded. "I've been three times so far – to the same woman I spoke to after Sealview."

"How is that going?"

"It's fine," Olivia shifted self-consciously. Huang's observant eyes followed her. She still had yet to relax her defensive posture and, until she did, he knew that there was no chance she would actually open up. "It's the same – write in a journal, talk about your feelings…"

"And do you think that helps?"

She shrugged again, but sat back and stretched her arm out along the back of the couch. "It did last time, eventually. But for now I hate it."

"Why is that?" Finally they might be getting somewhere. Olivia looked away and Huang leaned forward in his chair, trying to regain eye-contact. "Olivia?"

"I just don't want to think about it anymore. I'm sick of the nightmares, the doctor visits, the trips to therapy, sitting at home all day with nothing to do… everything. I want things to go back to normal."

"Is that why you came to see me today?" Huang asked. "You want to go back to work so that things can be back to normal?"

"Maybe," Olivia admitted.

"Let me put it another way: why do you want to come back to work now?"

"I need to get out of my house," Olivia replied frankly. "I need to do something other than just sit around and remember what happened to me."

Huang nodded. He had suspected as much. He reached down to his briefcase beside him and pulled out a file that contained two plain manila folders. "Here is a case-file of one of Fin and Munch's old cases."

Olivia took it from him, not sure what he expected. She flipped it open and started scanning through. There was a picture of the victim clipped to the top page. It was a pre-teen girl, her face bruised and bloodied. Olivia turned the page. There was the hospital's report, depicting in minute, clinical detail all of the girl's injuries. Olivia felt her stomach church.

The next page was the girl's statement. Tears welled up in Olivia's eyes and blurred the words on the page.

Huang watched as she hastily wiped away the tears, but said nothing.

Olivia closed the first folder and opened the second. She was greeted with the perp's mugshot. He was a short man, swarthy, with sunken eyes from long meth abuse. His scraggly dark hair fell over grey eyes and the stubble on his cheeks gave him a dirty, unwashed look. Olivia turned the page and was confronted by the boastful words of his alcohol-fueled confession. She felt sick.

Olivia closed her eyes and pushed the file away. Huang took it back. He waited.

"I'm not ready to come back to work," Olivia whispered. Her voice was so quiet that Huang could not tell if she was asking a question or making a statement.

"No."

"Was Tucker right? That I shouldn't be at SVU anymore?" She sounded so broken and afraid that it was all Huang could do to hold onto his professional demeanor in the face of his friend's distress.

Huang leaned back and regarded her carefully. "Why did you want to work for SVU in the first place?"

"To get justice for women like my mother," Olivia replied without thinking.

"Has that changed?" Huang asked. "Why do you want to work for SVU now?"

Olivia bit her lip. The first thought that came to mind was that she wanted to lock away every sick son of a bitch who thought that he could get away with hurting women and children. But somehow she didn't think that answer would get her anywhere with Huang. "I don't know."

"But you do still want to work with SVU?" Huang asked. Olivia nodded. "Why don't you think about why? Give me a call again at the end of the week, or next week, or whenever you feel comfortable."

Olivia nodded and swallowed. Huang could see that she was fighting the urge to cry. She stood. "Thank you," she said.

"Not a problem." Olivia turned to walk out. "And, Olivia," Huang's voice stopped her. "If you need to get out of your apartment, then get out of your apartment. Find something to do in the days: go for walks, visit museums… volunteer with Sister Peg, if you like. But you are right that it will be good for you to get out and get your mind off things."

"Sure," Olivia brushed it off. She felt like she was going to start crying again and all she wanted was to get out of that room. Olivia stood hastily and tripped over the edge of the couch as she moved toward the door. She recovered quickly and hurried out the door before Huang could say anything else.

* * *

Elliot was at his desk downstairs. He saw Olivia rushing down the stairs and toward the exit. "Liv!" he called. She did not respond but, when she turned to shoulder her way out the door, he saw the moisture glistening on her face. "Liv!" She was already gone.

Elliot took the stairs two at a time and only barely managed to halt his momentum to keep from colliding with Huang at the top of the landing. "What did you do?" Elliot growled.

Huang looked at him askance.

"What did you say to Olivia?" Elliot repeated, his voice low and threatening.

"You know that I can't discuss that with you, Elliot." Huang made as if to brush past the detective, but found his path blocked.

Elliot grabbed Huang by the lapel and pushed him back a few feet. "Damn it, Huang! This is Olivia. This is _my partner_. Talk to me."

Huang reached up and disentangled Elliot's hand from his shirt. "Alright. Let's go talk." He turned and headed into the crib, trusting that Elliot would follow him.

When Elliot stormed into the crib a moment later, he slammed the door behind him. "So, what did you do to Olivia?"

"What do you mean?"

"She was crying when she left here and I want to know what _you_ did to upset her." Elliot jabbed his finger into Huang's chest, punctuating his words.

"Why do you think I upset her?" Huang asked.

"Don't give me your shrink bullshit," Elliot retorted. "She told me yesterday that she was going to meet with you to talk about coming back to work. So I want to know why she ran out of here in tears instead of starting back at work like she was supposed to. As her partner, I should know what's going on."

"As her partner," Huang said slowly, "I can tell you that Detective Benson is not yet ready to return to work."

Elliot looked like he was fighting not to lose his temper again. "How long?" he finally grunted. Huang did not reply immediately. "How long?" he repeated.

"I don't know," Huang stated calmly.

"She told me she was ready to come back. She said that she wanted to get back to work. Why didn't you let her?"

"There is a difference between being ready to come back and being bored. If Olivia returns to work before she is ready, it would impede the proper functioning of this unit. It is my responsibility to make sure that does not happen."

Elliot snarled.

Huang regarded him evenly. "How do you feel about everything that is going on?" he asked. He had known that he would have to talk to Elliot eventually, but Elliot routinely avoided all interaction with psychiatrists. When Elliot had accosted him on the stairs, it had provided the perfect excuse to speak with him alone.

"What do you mean?" Elliot snapped. "How do I feel about my partner getting kidnapped, raped, locked up in that warehouse like an animal and then auctioned off to the highest bidder?"

"Well, yes," said Huang, "That's a good place to start."

"I should have gotten to her sooner," Elliot said flatly. "None of that ever should have happened."

"You should have gotten to her sooner?" Huang echoed.

"She is my partner. It's my job to protect her and I didn't."

"Even off the job?" Elliot looked puzzled. "Is it your responsibility to protect Olivia even when you are not working together?" Huang clarified.

"She doesn't think it is." Elliot said.

"I didn't ask what Olivia thought. I want to know what you think."

"I think that she doesn't have anyone else to look out for her."

"And she needs someone to look out for her." Elliot nodded. "She needs… a man… to protect her?" Huang asked.

Elliot sighed and ran one hand up over his short hair. "Look, I know it's not politically correct these days, but yes. I mean, I'd never let Kathy or any of my girls do half the things that Olivia does. And she doesn't have any family; she doesn't have a man around, so, yeah… I have always tried to look out for her." He saw Huang's disapproving frown. "I know that Olivia is tough. I know she thinks she doesn't need anyone's help. But I also know that it's hard on her, being alone all the time, so I just try to help out where I can."

"And why do you think it is your responsibility to protect her?"

"I'm all she's got," Elliot stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh? After being released from the hospital, Olivia chose to stay with Alex. Casey and Melinda have been visiting her regularly, and, ever since Olivia went back to her own apartment, Fin has been leaving work early most nights so that he can bring her dinner. I would say that you are a part of her support system – an important part," he added when he saw Elliot's expression, "but that you are far from the only person in her life. But," Huang changed the subject, "I want to get back to how you are dealing with all of this."

Elliot shrugged. "I keep seeing that basement where we found her. I can't get that image out of my head."

"What do you remember? Walk me through it."

Elliot cocked his head to the side and blinked. "I… um…. When I opened the door, I knew we'd found her even before I saw her. The smell… semen and blood… it's… it's fairly recognizable, if you've smelled it before." Elliot sat down, sinking into one of the thin beds in the crib. Huang followed suit and sat on the edge of one of the beds opposite him. "Liv was handcuffed to the bed in this narrow little room. It was… I've never seen… I never thought I'd see Liv like that."

"What did you do?"

"What do you think? I called for EMS, I undid her handcuffs, and I got her to the hospital. She kept asking about the other women at the warehouse – she wanted to know if we had gotten them all out safely. I didn't… I couldn't tell her what we'd found."

"How did she seem to you then?"

"She was in pain. Her wrist was broken and I think I probably hurt her more when I uncuffed her. There was blood on the bed from where he had whipped her. But Liv's strong. She…" Elliot's voice faltered. "She's the strongest person I know."

"And how did you feel when you found her?"

"Terrified," Elliot replied after a moment's pause. "Relieved and angry at the men who had done this, but mostly terrified."

"Why 'terrified'?" Huang asked.

"For a moment I was afraid she was dead. She was on her back and wasn't moving. But then I could see her breathing and all I could think was, 'Thank God, she's alive.' Then I got closer and saw how badly she was hurt…"

"And then…" Huang prompted.

Elliot shook his head. "And then I got her to the hospital." He stood up. "Are we done?"

"Actually, I'd like to talk to you a–"

"We're done," Elliot cut him off.

* * *

Cragen was not surprised when Huang walked into his office. "You talked to Olivia this morning?" he said.

Huang nodded and sat down in the chair opposite Cragen. "Not yet," he said in answer to Cragen's unspoken question. "She'll be ready to come back soon, but she's not there yet." Cragen nodded slowly. "You know," Huang continued, "if this were anyone other than Olivia, I would be recommending a transfer."

"But not for Olivia? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Olivia has centered her whole life on helping rape victims. If we take that from her, it could do more harm than good. And she has always had to deal with her own past and usually has managed to maintain her professionalism even in highly emotional situations. I believe that, given time, she will be able to do that again."

"How much time?" Cragen asked.

"That I can't tell you. It will depend on her. It will depend on the cases she works and who she works with."

Cragen picked up a subtle hint in the last phrase. "You think she should not work with Elliot anymore?"

Huang hesitated. "At the moment, no. Once Olivia is ready to come back, we can reevaluate the both of them. I know that you have already said that Olivia will be on desk duty when she comes back. I think that's a good idea, but even still we should keep a close eye on both her and Elliot to see how they are handling themselves."

"You're the expert here," Cragen agreed. He pushed his chair back from his desk and stood up, walking around to the door. He peered out between the blinds, observing his squadroom. "Liv is the heart of this squad. Without her…"

"She will be back. You can't expect things to be the same as they were. Something of this magnitude leaves all of us changed."

Cragen turned away from the window. "I know."

"Give it time," Huang reassured him.

* * *

**A/N** - I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I actually had not planned to have this as a whole chapter, but I wanted to have Olivia talk to Huang and it just took off from there.

A note on Elliot - he is a bit of an arrogant chauvinist and I tried to portray him that way. But he cares deeply about Olivia and I tried to show that as well. Let me know if you think I portrayed him accurately.

I'm not a shrink, so I'm writing from limited experience as far as Huang goes. Again, let me know what you think.

**Please Review!**


	32. Chapter 32

Huang did not honestly expect Olivia to listen to him about taking the time she needed before coming back from work, so it surprised him when the rest of the week passed without a word from her. The next week slipped by the same way.

Olivia finally called and set up an appointment to see him, almost a month after her rescue. This time, she met him in his office at the FBI building. It felt a little less intimidating to meet here, although Olivia knew that she would soon have to deal with the precinct again. Her own squad was fine, but the hundreds of others who worked in the building still gave a doubletake when they saw her. It was unnerving.

Huang's office was on the tenth floor. Usually Olivia would have taken the elevator, but ever since her bruises had faded and her injuries healed, she had been intent on getting as much exercise as possible.

She found her way up to his office, looking around with interest. Ever since her brief fling with Dean Porter, she had avoided the FBI building. There was rarely a reason for her to be there and things between she and Dean would have been awkward if they had seen each other.

By the time Olivia reached the tenth floor, her mouth was dry and she debated turning around. _I'm not ready_, she thought. _I'm not sure that I'm ready yet._ She had been meeting with her therapist twice a week, though, and the therapist had been very supportive when Olivia brought up her desire to return to work. _"I think it will be good for you_," the woman had said, leaning back in her white, faux-leather armchair, "_It will be difficult for a while, but I'm confidant you can do it_."

She knocked on the door.

* * *

A few hours later, Cragen received a call from the FBI building. After hanging up, he called in John Munch.

"Close the door, John," Cragen said as his senior detective walked in.

Munch swung the door closed behind him. "Is this about Olivia?" he guessed. Cragen nodded and gestured for him to sit down.

"I just talked to Huang," Cragen said as he settled into the chair behind his desk. "Olivia is starting back at work tomorrow." Cragen sighed. "We're going to be making some changes in the unit.

"Alright," Munch said hesitantly. "What do you have in mind?"

"Split up Benson and Stabler."

"They're not going to like that."

Cragen pressed his lips together and shook his head. "They've had their issues in the past, but I've let it slide because they work well together. But they don't get a say in it this time. Swap Benson and Tutuola's desks – Stabler and Tutuola can work together in the field and Benson will be paired with you, at least until she's ready to come off desk-duty."

Munch cringed at the thought. "Fin and Elliot have never gotten along well."

"No. But that is something they are going to have to work out."

"Not that I'd rather this – I think Olivia is the only one who really can put up with Elliot – but why not put Olivia and Fin together?" asked Munch.

"Fin blames himself still for not protecting Olivia better at Sealview. I don't want him turning into Elliot on us and getting over-protective. That's why I want you working with her."

"Because I won't babysit."

"I wouldn't put it that way, but yes," said Cragen. "Keep an eye on her, and be judicious in the cases you take on. Anything that might be too much, at least in the beginning, hand off to Stabler and Tutuola. She'll let you know when she's ready to take on the tougher cases."

"Does she know we're going to be restricting her caseload?"

Cragen shrugged. "She probably knows that we're going to have to for a while. Once she gets back in the swing of things, though, Benson will make her own decisions about what she can handle and when. Just follow her cues and keep me in the loop."

* * *

Olivia slipped through the front doors at 5:30 the next morning, her shoulders hunched and her head down. There were perhaps a dozen cops there already; the night shift was packing up to leave soon and the morning shift had yet to arrive. Olivia held her breath as she headed toward the SVU squadroom.

_I can do this_, she told herself. _This is what I wanted_. But still it was hard to feel the stares and the questioning looks from strangers made her feel uncomfortable.

She entered the squadroom and went to her desk, then froze. This wasn't her desk. She glanced around, confused. Her desk was pushed over next to Munch's and Fin's desk occupied her usual position opposite Elliot. For a moment, Olivia debated switching the desks back before anyone else arrived. She decided against it. With her arm still in the cast, she would have needed help anyway.

So she went to her desk and sat down. It felt strange. She was too close to the windows and her chair was positioned directly under an air-conditioning vent that blasted her with cold air. Olivia shivered.

There was a stack of papers on Munch's desk; Olivia reached over and picked up a folder off the top. She opened it and started reading.

She was halfway through the stack when Munch arrived. She glanced up as he went to pour himself a cup of coffee. "So have all the rapists in New York been slacking off lately or did Cragen restrict us to the easy cases?" Almost everything she had read so far barely qualified as sex crimes – about half the casefiles she had read so far were drunk teenagers peeing in Central Park and being arrested for indecent exposure.

Munch sat down at his desk opposite hers. "Cragen's call," he replied simply. "You mind?" His tone was casual, but he waited tensely for her response. Olivia might very well be upset at being assigned desk duty and then having her caseload restricted on top of that.

But Olivia just shrugged. "It's not unexpected. Might actually be good to ease back into things." She didn't particularly think it was necessary – she wanted to jump back into the field with both feet, broken arm or no. But she knew she couldn't go out until the cast was off and her therapist had said it might be good to go slowly. "_Just see how it goes_," the woman had told her. "_I know you can't talk about specific cases, but you can talk to me about how they affect you. We'll keep meeting a few times a week and you have my phone number to call me anytime."_

"So," said Munch, leaning back in his chair, "how's it going?" He and Olivia had never been very close; they got along well enough at work, but very rarely interacted outside of work.

Olivia kept her face carefully neutral. "As well as can be expected, I s'pose. I'm here, aren't I?" She resumed her reading.

Munch wasn't sure if her "I'm here" was supposed to mean "I'm back at work" or "I'm alive." He didn't ask for clarification. "Are the trials starting soon on the others?"

"Look," Olivia started, "I… it's not something I really want to talk about it. I'm back at work to do my job, not to talk about," _about what? Being raped? Kidnapped and sold? Tortured? _"Not to talk about what happened."

"Alright." Munch opened one of the few casefiles on his desk that Olivia hadn't started reading yet. "Last Thursday, Robert Kline, age 18, exposed himself to three sixteen year old girls at Stuyvesant high school, where all four are students. It's his first offence and he says that he did it on a dare from some of his basketball teammates. One of the girls who reported it has already given her statement, but we still need info from the other two. You want to call the parents and set up a time for them to come in with their daughters?" He handed the file to Olivia.

"Sure." Olivia scanned the first few pages, but there was very little other than the information John had just told her. "Novak's taking this one? Is she thinking trial?"

Munch shook his head. "Probably community service and a hefty fine. Kline is willing to plead to anything to avoid being placed on the Sex Offender registry."

"Understandable." Olivia nodded distractedly as she read the boy's statement to the arresting officer. "There are too many on the registry already who really don't need to be there. It just means that resources are stretched too thin and rapists and predators who really do need watching find ways to slip through the cracks."

For the next half hour, the two passed files back and forth, talking and handling strategies for half a dozen cases. Olivia was a little frustrated that her involvement was limited to collecting witness statements and doing paperwork, but she had to admit that it felt good to be back at work, even in a limited capacity. Cragen arrived shortly before 6:30. He nodded a smile toward Munch and Olivia, but didn't approach or interrupt them. Fin brought a box of donuts with him when he came right before 7. He walked over and sat on the edge of her desk. "I see you've got my spot under the freezer vent."

Olivia laughed a little. "Now I know why you're always wearing those leather jackets." She peered at the box in his hands. "What'd ya bring me?"

He pulled it away before she could open it. "Who said this was for you? How was I to know that you'd be back today? Here I was thinking me, Munch and Stabler could have a nice peaceful breakfast before work. A dozen donuts between three is a good split. Adding you though?" He shook his head. "I dunno. Seems like I might not have gotten enough donuts."

"Well, if we run out I'll just tell Elliot it's his own fault for getting here last and I ate his share." Olivia snatched the box from him. "Ooh, jelly-filled. You know how to treat a cop right." She smiled. This felt natural and easy – she was back at work, happy and joking with her friends. There was nothing to be worried about.

It was just after 7:30 when Elliot arrived. His face broke out in a grin when he spotted Olivia. "Hey, Liv!" he called out as soon as he walked into the sqaudroom. "You're back?"

Olivia waved him over to join them. "I'm back and I even saved you a donut!"

Elliot walked over. "Just one?" He reached the cluster of his colleagues and his smile faltered. Olivia was sitting where Fin should be; her desk was opposite Munch's. Fin was perched on the edge of the desk, clearly visiting. Elliot looked over at his own workspace. Sure enough, Fin's desk was parked next to his, occupying the space where Olivia's desk should have been. "What's with the new arrangement?" he asked, glaring at Fin as if it were somehow his fault.

Munch was the one who answered him. "Cragen's orders; he told me last night to have things moved."

"Why?" Elliot demanded. "For how long?"

"You'll have to ask him."

Elliot didn't say anything else, but turned on his heels and stormed toward Cragen's office.

Olivia bit her lip and stayed silent. _This is my fault_, she thought. _Cragen moved us around because of me, because of what happened to me._ She pushed aside the remaining half of her donut. For some reason, she wasn't hungry anymore.

* * *

Cragen was not surprised when Elliot stomped into his office and slammed the door. "Why is Liv partnered with Munch?" he asked without preamble. "And why wasn't I told about it?"

"I thought that it would be better for Benson and Munch to pair up while she is on desk-duty. You and Tutuola will be handling most of the cases."

"But she is _my_ partner," Elliot insisted. "You can't just split us up. She and I could work the easy cases and let Fin and Munch take the rest."

"This has been a long time in coming and you both know that. On numerous occasions it has been recommended that I re-partner you two and I haven't. I am now. You and Tutuola will take most of the field cases and Benson and Munch will take the low-priority ones."

"Are you really going to split us up because of what happened to Liv? How is that best for her? I thought we always tell victims to work on getting back their normal routines, in ways that are comfortable and familiar to them. It's not fair to her to break us up now!"

"Detective Stabler," Cragen snapped, "splitting you up was my decision. I have partnered Benson with Munch because the last thing she needs to deal with right now is you and your temper."

Elliot seethed. "What the hell do you mean, 'deal with my temper'? Liv and I have always gotten on just fine. We are partners. More than a dozen years we're been partners and you are going to split us up, just like that?"

"Do you need me to list the number of times you have gotten in trouble because of your temper and your partner has bailed you out? Or the number of times you lost your temper on your partner and she did not file a complaint against you? Olivia has saved your ass more times that I can count. Huang has recommended – and I agree – that she needs a more stable partner right now."

"'Right now'? So this is just temporary? Just until Liv gets off desk duty or something?"

"The current arrangement will continue for as long as I see fit. Depending on how it goes, it might be for a few months or it might continue on a more permanent basis."

Elliot's shoulders sagged and his angry mask broke, revealing raw pain etched in his face. "What do I have to do?" he asked in a harsh whisper. "What do I need to do to get my partner back?"

Cragen's face softened for just a moment and then his stern expression returned. "Dr. Huang expressed some concerns after talking with you and told me that you have avoided further conversation. It was his recommendation that the two of you be separated for a while. Those close to a victim can also be strongly affected by an attack; it might be beneficial to talk to someone about it. Dr. Huang has made several attempts to speak with you; he is concerned about how you are dealing."

"This is bullshit," spat Elliot.

"That is the second time you have cursed at me in this conversation, Detective Stabler! If you cannot control yourself, then you can go home."

"No. You can't just split us up."

"If it is what I think is best for the unit, I can and I will. For now, I want you to talk to Huang. You've been tense and distracted for the last month and your work is suffering for it. I have been trying for the last month to get you to speak to Huang without having to make it an official recommendation, but you have repeatedly refused to speak with him. That stops now. Talk to Huang, work with Fin, and we'll go from there."

"Captain," Elliot pleaded, refusing to give up. "Liv is my partner. We know how to work with each other. You want me to talk to a shrink, fine. But let us work together."

Cragen's face was impassive. "No. Trust me; I think this is best for both of you. Give it a while and see how it works."

* * *

Olivia didn't hear the conversation in Cragen's office, but she did see Elliot come storming out several minutes later.

"I don't need to see you for the rest of the day," Cragen called after him, "or tomorrow either!"

Elliot shoved his way through the double doors and out of the squadroom.

Olivia watched in silence. Cragen came over to the desks where she, Munch, and Fin were still talking. Fin stood. "I've gotta get started on some work," he said, making an excuse to leave."

Munch picked up his coffee cup; it was still half-full. "I need a top-off," he said. "Can I get you some?" he asked. When she nodded, he took her cup and walked off just as Cragen arrived at their desks.

"Hey Captain," she greeted him.

"Olivia," he said with a smile.

"What's the deal with Elliot?" she asked.

"He's having a hard time with the new set up in here."

"You split us up because of me," she said quietly. "Why?"

Cragen sat down in Munch's empty seat. "Not because of anything you did. We've all seen you reining in Stabler over the years. I know that things have been rocky between the two of you for a while – since you went to Oregon, since the Gitano case, since he and Kathy split up and even more since they got back together. I'm not blind; I know how much you care for each other – more than most partners should – and how you look out for each other. But I also know that he is struggling right now and that he tends to bring all his issues to work with him. I am not going to let him do that – not now, not to you. So for the time being, I've decided to change things up here."

Olivia ducked her head. "Thank you." It was not something she would have asked for, but she couldn't help but feel some relief.

"So you are alright working with Munch?"

"It's fine. Seems like all the heavy cases are getting kicked to Elliot and Fin, though."

"And they probably will be for a while. Just take things at your own pace and let me know if you need anything." He stood.

"Captain?" Olivia said before he walked away. "I do need next Thursday off – and probably Friday too." She swallowed hard. "The Rivera trial is starting. I'm scheduled to testify on Thursday."

"Of course," Cragen said. "I'll mark it on the calendar. Do you need Wednesday to prep with the DA?"

Olivia shook her head. "We'll do it after work. It shouldn't take long."

"Alright." Cragen paused. He wanted to say something else, but he couldn't think of what to say. "I'm very glad to have you back, Detective."

* * *

**REVIEW!**

Also, _Disclaimer_: The high school I mentioned is a real high school in NYC. Just found it be googling so I could have an authentic sounding name. No infringement intended.


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